Cheeky wedding request. Would you?

[Blah11]

No i wouldn't dream of asking people to pay their own.

 

[Equreuil]

Although I understand where you're coming from... I'd rather receive no invite at all, and an explanation about cost. Regardless of how it's phrased, it could easily give the wrong impression and be insulting, especially since it would be obvious if some of the guests did not have to pay for themselves.

Does the venue allow outside food, or do they insist on doing their own catering? Maybe arrange for a potluck where all the guests bring a dish, rather than trying to pay for each individual's meal. That's something quite a few people are happy to do for a wedding, it just takes a little more organizing in order to make sure there's variety.

 

[mara16jade]

Eek no I wouldn't do that. I just can't imagine how you could subtly suggest it to guests! I would either just invite them to the reception or ask for money as gifts - that way you'll recoup some costs

That's actually a really good idea, I can't believe that hadn't occurred to me! Thank you

And your bridal party/maid of honor can "spread the word" that money would be the most appreciated to help you and your husband-to-be get a nice start in your marriage.

We're using honeyfund.com to "register" for honeymoon activities on. They pledge an amount towards whatever you're "registered" for on honeyfund.com but in reality, they're just writing you a check, not actually purchasing an item or event. We tailored ours in a way to help with honeymoon activities (i.e.: scuba diving, romantic picnic in the rainforest, village tour, etc.). But again, they're not really buying those activities, just giving you money you can use towards it or anything else you'd want.

https://www.honeyfund.com/

 

[sparkle_1979]

I couldn't ask people ad I'd find it especially out of order that some were asked to pay ad not others

 

[kmbabycrazy]

Yeah asking for money for gifts is the best way to get money back. My sister actually made a profit on her wedding lol

 

[sparkle_1979]

I also thinking asking for money is rude

 

[Vesta]

I'm pretty relaxed when it comes to wedding ettiquette. I don't mind if someone encloses their wedding gift list with the invite, or even asks for cash, a cash bar doesn't bother me and if my son isn't invited that's no problem. But if someone asked me to pay for my own meal I'd think that was pretty cheeky.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

no, if ppl are your guests they shouldn't have to pay. In my books that's a terrible idea and if I saw it on the invitation, I would find it in poor taste. I would say only invite ppl you can afford to have there. Not having all cousins and what not is much better than getting ppl to pay for their food.

 

[kmbabycrazy]

Also whilst I think it's cheeky to ask them to pay you might find that some people might offer. It happened to a friend of mine she couldn't afford to have many people and she was upset about not having some people there that she would've loved too and when she explained that she wanted them there but couldn't afford it they said they would pay. My friend also offered to buy her bridesmaids dress though she was never asked to and I never implied that I needed her too she just did it to be kind and to help out.

 

[Shadowy Lady]

oh and I also would not flat out ask for money, I think that's also rude. Ppl should gift what they can gift. You probably will still get cash though as a lot of ppl find it easier to give cash. I generally give cash to most brides/grooms when I attend their wedding.

 

[LoveCakes]

If you can't afford to pay for someone at your wedding, you don't invite them. Asking them to pay for your wedding is (IMHO) out if order and just bloody rude.
Especially if only some of the people were paying! If I discovered that I was paying to be a guest at a wedding while others were not, I would be furious!
Also, wedding invites are not tit for tat! Just because you are invited to theirs, doors not mean you are obliged to invite them to yours!

If you are that desperate for them to attend, you would have had them on the guest list from the start and budgeted accordingly for them.

WSS^

Asking people to pay is pretty cheeky. If I was asked I just wouldn't go.

I don't personally like people asking for cash but it is pretty common.

Is an evening invite not the solution for extra people? They don't cost much but still get to come.

 

[suzib76]

I actually think it's an awful idea to expect someone to come along and pay for their own meals, I would totally say fuck that and be really pissed off if someone suggested it to me

How do you decide who pays their own and who's is included in the actual wedding bill? What happens when the guests start chatting and realise some people got it paid for and they had to pay their own?

The easiest solution would be not to accept the invitation from them, that way nothing can be expected in return

 

[lhancock90]

Personally I don't think I could. I'd be too embarrassed.

 

[sparkle_1979]

I think what a couple of the other ladies said, do an evening reception only invites that way it saves money and feelings

 

[onetwothreebp]

Have 2 different sets of invites - one says wedding time, supper time, and reception time. The other says wedding time and reception time. I have been to weddings where it's a family only supper or small supper to save costs and haven't been offended. If I found out that I not only had to pay for my meal but the table next to me didn't, then I'd be offended!

I'm also of the belief that asking for money is rude. People will give what they can or what they want. Gifts at a wedding aren't a guarantee or a right, they're a privilege and honour in my opinion!

 

[dani_tinks]

I wouldn't have dared asking people to pay for their meal, no. I couldn't afford to invite every single person I knew/ was related to to our wedding so we kept it close friends and family only. My cousins didn't come but as we're not very close I didn't think they'd mind. They did understand and one has still invited me to her wedding so no harsh feelings .

 

[mummylove]

I think if it was close family and they understood the situation they would be fine. If it was distant family they probably not or friends but like ive said before we are only having close family and they are ok with it. If u cant afford a wedding breakfast just find a cheap place that do offers

 

[babyhopes2010]

have u thought about doing ur own buffetl, thats why i choose to do at my wedding. some poeple complained and i was just blunt and said well it was that or u didnt come lol

 

[Mummy Bean]

There is a website that you can set up, so instead of gifts ppl donate to it...and you use the money to pay for the wedding. ive known a few ppl who dont this.

and personally i wouldnt worry about inviting all family...we only 30 ppl...even tho i had been invited to family members days.

 

[mummylove]

I would just invited who u really want there