Cheer me up!

[kateqpr]

Sorry to rant, but i keep on feeling negative about this pregnancy, waiting for something to go wrong, and i really want to change my thinking to something much more positive.

I had a miscarriage last november (an early m/c) which has left me convinced i'm going to have another one this time round. Also, because i've already had a bit of a complicated pregnancy (my cervix was shortening so had a cervical stitch placed 3 weeks ago to keep it closed) i keep thinking either my stitch will open suddenly, or i'll go into early labour or get an infection that will harm the baby!

I know the odds are good for me, and i'm being well looked after by my docs, but i wish i could feel more positive. I keep on thinking, 'just get to 24 weeks', then 28 weeks etc, but as i'm not working at the moment, and on part bed rest (so feet up most of the day apart from the odd trip out for a coffee to keep me sane) i just feel like time is ticking by so slowly, and i hate this feeling of wishing my life away....AND i'm still knicker watching!

Any advice on how to feel more positive over the next few weeks? I know i'm not helping myself being negative and desperately want to enjoy this pregnancy and my little one

thanks girls xx

 

[Dragonfly]

I dont blame you for feeling negitive with whats happened. I feel like that sometimes and I havnt even got anywhere near the reasons you have for it so I dont know what to advice. I think everyone worries and right up to the end, and as time goes on you start to feel its more real and it will happen. once you get past the viable stage it may calm you a bit ??

 

[spoo]

Oh hun, you poor thing x As you said though, you are in the best possible hands. You're going for regular appointments at the moment so thats good.

Do you have any hobbies or projects that can take your mind off your worries over the next few months?

As much as I love this site, it is very supportive but at the same time it makes you start thinking and comparing your own symptoms and therefore worrying that little bit more.

Whereabouts do you live in West London? I grew up in Hillingdon and moved across to Kent about 10 years ago

 

[beancounter]

aw but, c'mon, we're 20 weeks now, that must call for a piece of cake

I don't think I'm doing much better, and I have no complications, other than my mothers words of doom scaring the living daylights outta me, but at the end of the day whatever your situation worring doesn't change the outcome

i'm going to spend some time contemplating what exactly a living daylight is, andit if work it out, I will go see if I can find mine again...

 

[spoo]

Isn't a living daylight a piece of Timothy Dalton? (or have I got the wrong Bond?) I watched Pierce Brosnan in Tomorrow Never Dies yesterday, could watch him all day long *sigh*

 

[Jus]

I'm sort of the opposite - I've had no adverse symptoms of pregnancy to speak of (apart from 2 weeks of ms) and am just ticking along feeling very blase about the whole thing, with no problems at all. I keep reading on here that someone is worried about X, another person is worred about Y and these things haven't even occured to me. I'm clearly very naive about this whole pregnancy lark and I'm beginning to think that something is bound to happen sooner or later just to show me what the real world is all about! Either that, or I'm going to have the worst labour EVER as payback for having an easy ride while other people have been suffering through their 9 months!

I can't offer any advice as to how to turn negative thinking into positive - I'm just no good at the counselling thing, and can never think of the right thing to say. But, what about some sort of hypnotherapy (maybe a CD you can listen to?) just to relax you and take your mind off of everything, even if just for a short time?

 

[moo2]

Just think you can get out of doing all the rubbishy 'normal' things...

No

Instead you can put your feet up and do all theings you wont have time to do when your LO arrives


I was off sick the last 3 weeks but I'm back at it working hard today.... As you can see

I kept myself occupied with lots of B&B, ebay & daytime telly/QVC!!!
How about having a look on the net for some really lovely birth announcement cards? Perhaps get really organised and write your Christmas cards now or get all your prezzie shopping done on line so when you've got a big baby belly in December it will all be done?

Sending you lots of positive vibes and sticky dust

 

[LuluBee]

Hi Sweetie, I know how you feel I'm at 26 weeks tomorrow and still on knicker watch. The thing that's helped me the most over hte past few weeks has been to just throw myself into the nice parts of preganacy that I can still enjoy - mainly the online shopping part! I've planned the nursry and ordered the soft furnishings, bought all kinds of miscellaneous baby things from Mothercare etc. And the good side of being at home is that you don't have to worry about sorting out delivery times around work. Now I'm reading up on whats to come in the weeks ahead and have started to brave looking at what to do to look after hte baby when he arrives.
Also if you have Sky, Discovery Home and Health have Baby Time in the mornings and I discovered a good show 'Portland Babies' that has me in tears every episode looking at the new babies.
I know it's tough because you're in a higher risk category but I found just getting on with 'normal' pregnancy things helps me to forget my troubles

 

[beancounter]

Isn't a living daylight a piece of Timothy Dalton? (or have I got the wrong Bond?) I watched Pierce Brosnan in Tomorrow Never Dies yesterday, could watch him all day long *sigh*

Timothy Dalton? ew, he can stay lost then. I haven't watched a bond film since pierce was replaced with that ugly fella

 

[Hevz]

Chick....us lot with high/higher risk pregnancies are always gonna worry

People who've only had straightforward pregnancies could never understand the anxiety that we go through. We have to think positively though....I'm trying as hard as I can even though I still have that awful niggle in the back of my mind


Come on....lets enjoy our pregnancies, those lovely wriggles, kicks and eat as much as you like and not worry unnecessarily eh?

 

[happy&healthy]

Its no fun having complications and I think it would be hard in your situation with partial bed rest to keep up being positive. But worry gets you no where fast. Remind yourself of all the positive things so far in this pregnancy. Do not mourn that 'perfect' pregnancy or even think of it. I know its hard. It helped me to have others tell me everything was going to be alright. Your bubs has made it his far. You have your stitch in time. THis pregnancy is going to be successful. It is meant to be.

 

[Amanda]

Aww hunnie, I think there are a few of us going through similar worries at the minute.

I just can't get the statistic that one in 4 pregnancies ends in mc out of my head, and this is number 3 for me so the odds are shortening. I'm off work myself at the min because of bleeding, and the only thing I'm doing is keep waddling to the loo every half hour to check.

But every day that passes, is a day closer to that all important day when we get to cuddle our LO.

Oh, and I agree whole-heartedly with the Pierce Brosnan thing!!

 

[kateqpr]

Thanks for all your responses...making me feel better already!

Lulubee - you're right - i need to focus on the future, rather than just worrying (and reading doom and gloom stories on the internet. The one time too much information does you no good!!!)

Hevz - i know - it's not just me going through this, and i should enjoy the wiggles and kicks, rather than mourn my boring existence at the moment. I guess it's just a little lonely, as i'm so use to being busy at work and out with friends, that being at home when everyone else is being normal just gets a little lonesome.

Think i'm going to watch a film and start my tax return (oh joy!) and maybe give my mum a call for a pep talk. Too much time to think is no good for my brain, even at the best of times!!!

Thanks again everyone - all much appreciated xx

 

[kateqpr]

Oh, and i do hope no one on this forum is daring to suggest that other Bonds are better than Daniel Craig??!!!! The man is bloomin' gorgeous! Has anyone seen him in Layer Cake?

I guess it must be a sign of age - fancying James Bond. Oh dear

 

[Hevz]

I guess it must be a sign of age - fancying James Bond. Oh dear

....you said it

 

[spoo]

Pierce Brosnan and Sean Connery win hands down for me I'm afraid. Although Daniel Craig in "those" trunks........mmmmmmmmm

As I've started, I may as well finish

Johnny Depp, Sean Bean and Christian Bale would also look very nice wearing them!

 

[harveysmum]

It must be so hard for you to keep positive when you have already had such a tough time of it. BUt there are SO many things that could go wrong for SO many of us and we have to work hard to try and just allow what will be to be and to consider no news to be good news.
you have reached 20 weeks already and every day that goes by is a blessing.

The one thing that helps me is that I consider the fact this pregnancy may well be my one and only and, for the rest of my life, on this pregnancy and remember it well. Not to think back as the period of my life where I worried, for nine straight months about miscarrying, putting on too much weight, having a high risk baby in the triple test, having somethign wrong with the baby, getting pre-eclampsia etc etc etc etc

Of course we all worry and we all have those niggles at the back of our mind that make it hard to function. BUt we have to try our best to bloom and enjoy every single minute of it. and, remember, babies can pick up on stress so think nothing but happy thoughts and take each minute as it comes if you have to!! take care and look after yourselfxxx

 

[passengerrach]

bless ya hun u have been through the wars havnt u i know what u mean about wishing time away i do the same thing but aswell i think it could be a good thing ur giving urself goals and things to look forward to u could try thinking about it the other way aroung instead of thinking iv got to get to 24 weeks u could try celebrating each milestone like woohoo were at 20 weeks woohoo were at 24 weeks if u get what i mean sorry if thats not much help hun i know its hard to change the way u think

 

[beancounter]

Pierce Brosnan and Sean Connery win hands down for me I'm afraid. Although Daniel Craig in "those" trunks........mmmmmmmmm

As I've started, I may as well finish

Johnny Depp, Sean Bean and Christian Bale would also look very nice wearing them!

To be honest, I reckon johnny would look drop dead gorgeous if he was wearing a dress. I even watched that stupid film about some kind of satanic book where he had a stupid moustache (the reason I watched it must be obvious as I can't remember the title or the plot except all the goodies had stupid facial hair. Even the women. So my stupid eyebrows mean that i can never be affiliated with satan)


Kate, I only called danial craig ugly to distract you from your problems. Obviously

 

[keldac]

I was going to sympathise with you and tell you I know exactly how you feel (multiple losses and complications have resulted in me feeling exactly how you do!) but I'm not now - cos Craig is definitley not better than Pierce.

BRING PIERCE BACK!!!!!!