children present?

[rosie5637]

i am still WTT so this is a little premature but i'm thinking that a homebirth might be an option for me when (hopefully) i have my next baby.

i am a little unsure what i would do with my son though. if all goes to plan he will be 6/7yrs old when his little bro or sis is born. he is quite a sensitive soul sometimes and i worry that he would freak out or get really upset that i was in pain. i would also worry that this would carry on through and he would resent the new baby for hurting his mummy iyswim.

have any of you had your children present at your birth? what were their reactions? would you do it again? any bad experiences?

 

[trumpetbum]

I haven't but i've given my girls 11 and 8 the choice. DD1 will go to her grans or stay out of the way by choice but dd2 may be there. Both have a good idea of what to expect, dd2 has watch homebirth diaries with me since she was small I think dd1 would be bored tbh, but dd2 is very empathetic and has a knack of making me very calm. I think it depends on the kids and whether you can switch off from being mum to allow you to relax and let labour and birth go smoothly. i would always try as much as possible to have someone to accomodate other children whether they are there or not though, who can reassure them and remove them if need be.

 

[KandyKinz]

I've been to several homebirths with kids present of all different ages and they have all be thrilled by the experience at the end. I think the atmosphere definitly matters. Yes the mother will be in labour but if those around her, her partner and midwife etc are all supporting her "calmly" in this normal process the children will pick up on that.

Homebirths are also nice in that your child can come and go as they feel fit. They don't necessarily have to watch their mommy in labour they can go draw a picture, play a game or fly a kite instead... and then they can certainly go back between the too at their preference.

But with that said it definitly would not hurt to prep your kids and teach them about what they will likely expect to see and hear (the birth song). Teaching children about the normalcy of childbirth can be a lovely thing!

 

[lushious09]

my personal view is children of that age are far too young to understand fully and be witnessed to that not only that but it can be traumatising if something dosnt go to plan or if they see you in pain... plus its hard when your OH is trying to comfort you AND your son... i wouldnt consider it unless my child was atleast 13 2bh

 

[lesleyann]

although kyle *hopfully* wont be old enough to understand when we have our next Lo i would like him here but of course since im hoping he will still be young i would need a family memeber close to be able to remove him if he just started being a bit of a pain in the bum and to keep an eye on him or i might if "ok" time let next doro have him while i give birth but as soon as baby is out get her to bring him in to me

 

[mrsmo7]

With my last baby my children were in the house and we were going to "play it by ear" about them being at the birth as it was the little 2 who were 4 &5 slept through it and my eldest who was 13 was there and was fine.

The little 2 did come down stairs before the placenta was delivered and the cord was cut and seeing that didn't bother them at all! To prepare them we had been reading our water baby to them each night at bed time and i really don't think it would have upset them to be there.
With this one we will just wait and see again so they maybe there? They are now 4 & 5
x

 

[KandyKinz]

Also if there is kids present I think it's beneficial to have someone else present at the birth like a good friend or grandparent who's job is specifically to look after the children that way you and your partner can concentrate on the labour.

 

[JenStar1976]

If I ever have another baby and it's another home birth, I'd love for my Alex to be there. I'd have him in the pool with me too! x

 

[kiwimama]

I'd probably consider it. Ideally by the time our next one is here Ella will be around 2.5 years old. I'd probably bring my mum in to be her carer during the whole thing and just see how she went. If she didn't handle it or I didn't handle her being there then I'd tell my mum to take her out and bring her back later! If it happened during the night I'm sure she'd sleep through it anyway. We have a large house and plenty of space for her to go and do her own thing if she felt like it.

 

[mumof1+1]

My daughter is 9 now and i am hoping for a HB, depending on when I go into labour she probably will be there, I have no problem with that and im sure the MW wont, she can come and go as she pleases and can at least not feel left out.

Providing i get my HB i will report back how my daughter handled it and the rest. Not too long to go now so hopefully i wont forget lol xx

 

[Blob]

Tabs is going to be there at mine She will be in the pool But thats only if she's awake...my mum is there to look after her if she doesnt want to be there etc.

 

[summer rain]

Hi

personally my kids will be at the in laws, although my labour was super fast last time I woke up that morning feeling odd so had them dropped there just in case; so I hope I have the same intuition this time. I have three boys and they are at the old enough to remember but too little to understand properly what is going on stage. Also my youngest is very clingy and wouldn't understand why he can't climb all over mummy when she is giving birth.

Soph x

 

[snagglepat]

Our daughter, who will be three, with be 'around' at this birth. If it happens at night then she may well be asleep but we want her to be able to come and go as she pleases. We've already been reading 'Hello baby' to her and she loves the story and my sister will be at the birth to be her companion in whatever way is needed.

I think it's lovely to have children at the birth if that feels right. For us, it's all part of natural birthing, seeing it as a very special but also an everyday occurrence, and we hope that by witnessing the birth our daughter will feel a sense of ownership over the process and her new sibling too. At the end of the day a women births best when she is able to completely relax and let go. If she can't do that with her child/ren pleasant then maybe it's not the best choice for her.

Gina. x

 

[lozzy21]

I was there at the hospital when my mam had my sister, i was 9. I had been prepared that she was going to be in pain.

In other countrys is common for girls as young as 4 and 5 to help out in there mothers, sisters, auntys labours.