Christian ladies TTC, we can encourage one another.

[Godsjewel]

I also want to thank you for posting about grief. I've been struggling big time the past week, with my emotions and I've found myself breaking down in tears almost every day throughout the day! It feels like an outpouring of emotion that's built up, rather than sadness over my situation if that makes sense?

I was in church yesterday and listening to the worship as the team finished their song and I nearly crumbled. I feel so full of tears, like I need to have a really good clean out.

A couple of other things have happened and I don't know that they mean anything, but I'd like to think they do.

I was praying about 5 weeks ago in church about DH and I having a baby and I kept asking God when? When is it our turn? When will I see beautiful lines? And almost straightaway in my head was APRIL. I counted the months ahead and realised there were 8. It stuck in my head. Later that same day, my sister announced she was pregnant and due in April. I would like to think my Father in Heaven was "fore-warning" me of her announcement. There'd been a few signs that she was pregnant and I already knew in my heart but I didn't know she'd done a test and confirmed it til that day. My heart broke and I fell apart. I went on with round 4 of Clomid, praying to God I'd be bump buddies with my sister. We're so close in our relationship and I desperately wanted to be on this journey with her.

Anyways, just before starting round 4 (while expecting a bfp from round 3!) I prayed again. God, when will it be our turn? I'm begging, crying out Lord, please bless us with a baby. I desperately want to be a mother, my heart aches, longing and waiting to finally tell my husband that he's going to be a daddy. In my head flashed ROUND 5. I heard it again, ROUND 5. I replied with Lord, I'm not yet on round 4. Shall I write it off? Have a break? No answer. I decided to go full steam with round 4, trying just as hard as the round before it. I was calm when my period arrived. Inside I could feel emotions bubbling away, anger, disappointment, hurt, heartbreak, GRIEF, jealousy, bitterness... And I feel ready to explode with tears. I remembered ROUND 5 and here I am, CD5 on round 5. It may be nothing, may well have been my sub-conscious answering me with round5. But it could be God's voice. I'm praying it's God, trying to trust that it is and I'm going to do my best to relax and enjoy the month with my husband. It's strange that my feelings don't feel like they're about our situation. I don't feel sad. I don't feel depressed. I wonder if my body needs to clear out the last 2 years of all those feelings so that I can have a pure body for round 5. Ready to receive a child, our gift from God.

I could be wrong... But something in me just feels that I've gotta have a spring clean of my emotions and the build up from the last 2 years.

Pray for me ladies, I'm trying to make sense of things and I feel very overwhelmed.

Oh and before I forget. Randomly flicking through my husband's profile on a social networking site and I came across a conversation between him and his best friend. His BF is not a christian but believes there is a God. He knows my DH and I are trying for a baby and he told DH he would pray for us. Unbeknown to me at the time, DH's BF actually went into his local church, sat down and prayed to God that he would bless us with a child. It brought me to tears. His friend commented "I don't know why, but September is in my head."

Say we fall pregnant this cycle, our child would be conceived this month, in September!

I'm praying Lord that this is Your direct word, given to us in preparation for what we're about to be given. But if it is NOT, we are still trusting in Your perfect timing. Lord strengthen us and help us to listen for Your guidance and Your direction. Our lives are not our own, we are adopted to You and we commit our situation to You, we hand over control and desires to You. Thank You Father that You are sufficient. Amen.

Wow! That would definitely be amazing if it turned out that way. Be at peace that God is still in control and will help you through this journey whichever path He has you on.

That is awesome about your hubby's friend...I pray that the day you conceive, it will open up his eyes to see God's goodness and draw him closer to God because of it.

 

[Godsjewel]

Subscribing. My name is heather ttc #1, cycle #3, cd20, 1dpo.

Welcome Heather

I'm so glad you have joined us. There are so many wonderful women of faith on here that will help you along this journey.

 

[Godsjewel]

Remember the day you stood before the LORD your God at Horeb, when the LORD said to me, “Assemble the people to Me that I may let them hear My words so they may learn to fear Me all the days they live on the earth, and that they may teach their children.” You came near and stood near the foot of the mountain, and the mountain burned with fire to the very heart of the heaven: darkness, cloud and thick gloom. Then the LORD spoke to you from the midst of the fire; you heard the sound of words, but you saw no form--only a voice. So He declared to you His covenant which He commanded you to form, that is, the Ten Commandments; and He wrote them on two tablets of stone.

Deuteronomy 4:10-12

What an odd passage of Scripture to encourage someone who is trying everything she can to have a baby. The image here is terrifying! Moses has assembled the people of Israel who have come through the wilderness, and he has told them he will die soon. He won’t enter into the Promised Land with them, but he will turn leadership over to Joshua. He’s telling the people to remember what many of them would rather forget. It must have been a horrifying day! The mountain shaking with the very power and presence of an unseen God, words being written in stone and handed down to them. The sheer magnitude of the holiness of God must have been startling. Can you imagine standing in the presence of God in such a way? Can you imagine having to be reminded to remember such a day?

So what does this have to do with infertility?

I want to remind you to look at the power and presence of this same God. I want to remind you that the same God who spoke the stars into space, whose presence caused this mountain to burn with fire, who uses the earth as His footstool, is passionate about you. I want to remind you to look at the magnitude of the wonder of this God when the problem of infertility seems to overwhelm you. The Israelites needed to be reminded of some things from time to time. They needed to be reminded just how big God really was and how small their problems were in comparison. So do you. Infertility is a huge problem in your life--until you compare it to how big God is. God is a great big God and He is for you!

There are times in this season of your life when everything is consumed with baby making. Every interaction with your spouse is nothing more than conception related. Every penny is put aside for medication or treatment. Every conversation is centered around diagnoses or lack thereof. The playful banter between two people in love has been replaced with strained conversation over why someone else got pregnant instead. Infertility can become all-consuming to the couple who so desperately want a baby. If this has become your daily routine, take a step back, and remember. Remember what it was about your husband that was so amazingly appealing to you before you knew his sperm count. Remember how it felt to have dinner together and not discuss ovulation. Remember that God is so much bigger than any disease that either of your bodies house. Remember that God is so much bigger than any problem, any question, any fear that infertility places in your path. Remember that God promises to never leave you, never forsake you, even when infertility makes you feel so very alone in a baby-filled world. When you weep because the thought of you bearing a child seems impossible, remember that God told Sarah “Is anything too difficult for the LORD?” When the news of an old, barren Elizabeth being six months pregnant reached the ears of pregnant virgin Mary, remember, the God’s message was “Nothing will be impossible with God!”

So remember, friend! It’s not the size of the mountain that’s important. It’s the strength of the Mountain Mover that matters. Remember how big God is. Remember how small your infertility really is in comparison to our great big God.

-Beth Forbus

 

[Heather.1987]

I don't have any issues (that I know as of yet) but it made me teary eyed. Love it! Thanks!

 

[Godsjewel]

11 So He said, "Go forth and stand on the mountain before the LORD " And behold, the LORD was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. 13 When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave And behold, a voice came to him and said, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

One of the heartbreaking aspects of infertility is the deafening silence of our homes. Others may complain of being awakened in the night by the sounds of a baby’s crying, but you could imagine no more beautiful symphony. You long for the day when a child’s laughter peals through the halls of your home and you have to remind playing children to use “inside voices”. The quietness of a childless home is so very loud.

What do you do in those quiet times? Those times when your spouse is not home, the television is not on, and the phone doesn’t ring? You have fought your infertility as hard as you can for so many months and it seems that nothing is working. You’ve tried every remedy you’ve heard about, but it’s not getting you anywhere. You’re still not pregnant. You’ve watched your diet, you’ve taken vitamins and eaten the right foods, you’ve tried every treatment that every doctor has suggested. You’ve followed every suggestion you’ve been given and now you’re just tired. Sometimes you just want to run away and quit. You just wish God would speak to you in this big, booming voice and reveal to you all that you need to know, but the big, booming voice hasn’t appeared. May I suggest to you that you may feel much like the prophet Elijah may have felt one day at Horeb?

Elijah has been through quite an adrenaline filled battle of his own. He has faced down hundreds of prophets of Baal, and challenged them and their false god to a stand-off. Elijah mocked them, scorned them, even accused their god of being asleep or on vacation before praying to our one true and living God and showcasing the glory of God before hundreds of people. After calling fire down from heaven and proving that God was God and Baal was not, Elijah seized and killed all the false prophets right then and there. There was nothing half-way about Elijah. He loved God with amazing zeal, and proved it with his life. But now he was tired. He had given his all in trying to show people that God really was who He said He was, and now there were those who wanted to take his life. Elijah was afraid and hiding. The same guy who just days before was mocking hundreds of false prophets to their faces was now in hiding, asking God to end his life before someone else killed him. The very same God he had so adamantly represented only days before was about to intervene in his life in a powerful-but unexpected way.

God told Elijah to stand on the mountain and what a sight he must have seen! Scripture says “a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the Lord;” The power and presence of the Lord was so mighty that the mountains were literally breaking in pieces before Him. But notice this...but the Lord was not in the wind. I probably would have thought God was in the wind, but no. He wasn’t in the power of the wind.

What happened next? An earthquake shook the very ground Elijah stood on. If you’re from California, perhaps you understand the power it takes to shake the earth itself, but look what Scripture tells us: “but the Lord was not in the earthquake”. Wind strong enough to tear apart mountains, earthquakes? What’s next? Fire! Elijah must have thought he was having a really bad day, especially since Scripture tells us the Lord was not in the fire! Where was God in the midst of all this chaos?

We finally see where God was in 1 Kings 19:12: and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. Elijah finally heard the voice of God in a gentle breeze. Not in a powerful wind or a huge earthquake, but a quiet breeze. In the stillness of the easy breeze that blew across his face, the voice of God came to Elijah and changed him. God talked to Elijah and told him what to do. Elijah’s life was changed because he heard God in the stillness of a quiet moment.

In those still, quiet moments, when it’s just you and God, listen for His voice. You’ve gone through a difficult round of treatment or a hard month when you thought you had finally conceived, only to get another negative test. Now you’re sitting in the silence in your living room and it’s down to you and God. Listen for His voice in this silence. Listen for His voice in the silent moments of your life. Step away from the chaos of infertility, even if only for a few hours, and focus on God. Listen for His voice in the stillness, in the quietness. Take advantage of the silence, even if the silence hurts right now. Tell Him how it hurts and listen for His voice. Perhaps like Elijah, you’ll find Him in the stillness of a gentle blowing.

-Beth Forbus

 

[Godsjewel]

Hi my precious sisters!

I just want to give God the glory for giving me such peace lately, so much peace it sometimes scares me that the desire for a child has disappeared.

Last night hubby and I were watching a show and the lady was delivering her baby girl, then those feelings of wanting one crept up on me. The desire is there, but I have complete faith in the God I serve that all this waiting is not in vain and for my good.

Praying for you all, that you may also experience this peace during the waiting time. God has wonderful things in store for all of us and we just need to give it all to Him.

Blessings

 

[Godsjewel]

“Just be patient! Pacing around the living room is not going to make that phone ring any faster. They’ll call when they get the results.” Jake knew Riley was nervous and he was too, but she was going to wear holes in the floor if she didn’t sit down! They had so much riding on this round of IVF. If she wasn’t pregnant this time, he didn’t know what it would do to her.

They had waited so long for a baby. The waiting really started before they began trying to conceive! They wanted to do everything just right. They waited until they finished college to get married, waited until they were well employed and financially secure before stopping birth control. They waited until the doctor gave her blessings before they officially began trying to conceive. They waited until day 14 when she should be ovulating, they waited until day 28 to take “the test”! At the beginning, they even had fun with the anticipation of “test day”, and the let down wasn’t too bad. But as the months turned into years, the patience wore away. How much longer could they be patient and wait?

The phone finally rang. Riley knocked the coffee table over as she raced across the room for the phone. Jake caught the remote control in mid-air but lost his balance and landed squarely on top of the cat, who had been snoozing contentedly on end of the couch. Standing with her back to Jake, the few seconds of interminable silence were broken with sniffles, then muffled sobs. The phone fell to the floor and Riley ran to the refuge of the bedroom, slamming the door. Jake didn’t have to ask for the results. He knew their wait continued.

Jake gave Riley some time to herself to grieve this latest loss. She needed that time to release the tears and the frustration of another failed cycle, but she also needed him. He slipped in the dark bedroom and sat on the side of their bed and began to rub her back. Her pillow was already drenched with infertility’s tears which he knew he was helpless to dry. “Riley, I’m so sorry.” This childless couple, so perfectly designed for parenthood, sat in silence, and said more with their presence than their words could ever say. And together they waited.

***********

It had been a couple of days since their negative test results. They had cried and talked it out. They were both still heavy hearted about another failed attempt, and neither was quite sure what they wanted to do next. It was still the topic of conversation as they got dressed for church that morning, and they really hoped that none of their friends would ask them about it, though they knew at least someone probably would.

It wasn’t really like them to be late for church, so they slipped in on the back pew rather than their normal seat half way down. Pastor Barker was already in the pulpit and was opening his Bible to read his text for the morning. Little did Riley and Jake know that they had a divine appointment with God and His Word that morning! Pastor Barker began to read:

“For in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in His dwelling; He will hide me in the shelter of His tabernacle and set me high upon a rock.

Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at His tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy. I will sing and make music to the LORD.

Hear my voice when I call, O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me.

My heart says of you, ‘Seek His face!’ Your face, LORD, I will seek...

I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” (Ps.27:5-8,13-14)

As Pastor read the words, it was as if God Himself was speaking directly into Jake and Riley’s hearts! In an amazing, indescribable fashion, both of them sensed the presence of God breaking through the hurt their hearts were bearing under the weight of an empty cradle. God was using His servant to bring peace and healing to this couple, and somehow they both knew it.

As they listened to the words found in this passage of Scripture, it sounded like it was written just for them! Talk about a day of trouble! A negative pregnancy test after all they had been through was definitely the makings of a day of trouble, but God was reassuring them that He was keeping them safe. Safe from all their hurt, safe from all the emotions, all the questions, all the fears. They felt as God was reminding them that He heard their cries to Him, that He is indeed merciful and answers their cries, even if it seems that their cries go unheard when they are not answered as quickly as they hoped. Once again, as Jake slipped his arm around Riley’s shoulders, tears began streaming down his bride’s face, but this time they were tears of gratitude. Gratitude for a God who loved this hurting couple enough to intervene in the midst of a dark, difficult season in their life. They knew God was calling on them to seek His face, and not to turn from Him. It gave them the strength to keep waiting. To keep waiting while God kept working.

 

[Godsjewel]

Hi everyone!

Can you please pray for my husband's Aunt, she has cancer and was just admitted to the hospital and they found that the cancer has spread all over her body and they don't see her making it.

Please pray for God's will to be done and to comfort the family during this hard time.

Thank you!

 

[Godsjewel]

Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:35, 37


Are you feeling alone in your infertility today? Does it seem that no one could possibly comprehend the depth of the sorrow you carry? Family loves you, but they’ve never been there--they don’t quite “get it”. Somehow, that sister or friend bouncing her crying baby on her knee as she implores you to “just relax” just doesn’t quite convey the message that she is in the fight with you. You feel that chasm between you and the fertile world growing a little wider every day.

Friend, be encouraged today that nothing--not even infertility--can separate you from the love of Christ. No experience, no hurt, no sin, no problem is enough to cause Him to look at you as a lost cause and walk away. He refuses to leave you. He wanted you to know this so adamantly, that we find this reassurance all through Scripture--Old Testament and New.

Reread Romans 8:35. Can’t you just hear Paul saying these words? “Who can separate you from the love of Christ? Nothing can separate you! Not life! Not death! Nothing now! Nothing in your future! Nothing can separate you from His love!” What an amazing promise! Imagine if the Scriptures listed above were penned from an infertile woman’s hand. Perhaps they would read like this:

Will infertility separate me from the love of Christ? Will endometriosis or low sperm counts, or the distress I feel when I start another period? Will the hurtful misunderstandings from family and friends? Will baby hunger be enough to separate me from His love? Will the lack I feel when my body doesn’t do what it was designed to do cause Him to give up on me? If my future is uncertain, or if I face more and more medical treatments in my quest to conceive, is that enough to separate me from the love of my Savior?

No! I am convinced that neither miscarriage or even pregnancy, neither angels or demons, neither the daily struggle I face with infertility now or the uncertainty of my future, neither the highs of a good doctor’s report or the lows of another negative pregnancy test, not even seeing another pregnant woman will be able to separate me from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord!

Infertility can do a lot of things in your life. It can drain your bank account. It can put a strain on your relationships. It can cause you and your husband to grow closer together than you ever could have dreamed, or it can cause great strife in your home. But it cannot--it will not--separate you from the love that God has for you. Even infertility with all the upheaval it has caused you is not powerful enough to do that. God loves you and promises to never, ever leave you.

You are truly not alone in your battle. Be convinced today that nothing--not even infertility--can separate you from the love of Christ.

-Beth Forbus

 

[BRK06]

Distractions

Have you ever noticed that anytime you decide to spend time with God that something or someone gets in the way? Your crazy friend (we all have them) calls to tell you how her kids are making her nuts, or your cousin emails you her latest sonogram picture. Or perhaps you start your period again, and realize that your long sought after dream of pregnancy will have to wait for at least another month. All this happens just when you settle down with your Bible to find a few precious moments of quiet time alone with God. Instead of a few moments of peace with the Prince of Peace, you’re sobbing into your pillow again. Your mind isn’t on the goodness of God. It’s on the emptiness of your womb.

Satan’s primary battlefield is your mind. He would love to bombard your mind with so many distractions that you forget to focus on the realities of who God is. Just when you determine to walk in the truth that God is for you and not against you, Satan will remind you of how many of your school classmates have had babies, and many are pregnant with their second, yet you have none. He’ll whisper to your heart, “Does that sound like God is for you?” Don’t allow him to distract you with lies! Remember that Satan is the father of lies, and he uses them well.

People around us can cause distractions to your worship as well. People can be stupid sometimes! Plain and simple! They can say and do hurtful things that leave us scratching our heads in confusion. Why did she say that? Why did they do that? What did I do to deserve this? Anger starts to build and we get distracted from our worship again. “She knows better than that! She knows it just about kills me every time I hear her tell about her labor and delivery! She knows it rips my heart out! Why can’t she understand how hard this is for me? Why doesn’t she care about me more?” It really does seem like those around us should know better, doesn’t it? It seems like those who have loved us our entire lives should understand the hurts we carry, but so often they don’t. Friends and family members somehow can’t see inside our hearts and see the burdens and scars our hearts bear.

Infertility consumes us. It overwhelms every part of us. It infiltrates our emotions, our relationships, our finances, our intimacies. It becomes so much a part of so much of who we are. Without realizing it, we begin to expect people around us to understand what it’s like to be infertile. We long for understanding that we cannot even verbalize. I wonder if we are not holding people to a standard that only God Himself can meet? When we do so, we become distracted and shift our focus away from a perfect God and onto imperfect people.

If you find yourself angry or frustrated today, perhaps you have become distracted. Perhaps you have shifted your gaze away from a perfect God to imperfect people. It’s easy to do, isn’t it? Why not make a conscious choice to shift your gaze and your affections back to our perfect God. Look on Him. Tell Him how amazing He is. Talk about His wonders and His deeds. If you don’t know what to say, flip your bible open to the Psalms. David wrote many of the Psalms and he had quite a way with words! He’ll help you get started! Before long, you may find praise pouring from your own tongue.

Infertility is a lot of things. It is a physical, emotional, relational and financial crisis in a young couple’s life. It is an anvil on which many marriages are strengthened and some are destroyed. It is definitely a time of spiritual maturity. It can also be a huge distraction to prayer and worship. Don’t allow infertility to stand in the way of worshipping the God who gave His Baby for you. Instead, let it be the vehicle that carries you to the God who loves you, who has amazing plans for your life, and who rejoices over you with singing.

Wow!! This really hit the nail on the head! Before AF even came this month, I knew she was on her way and that it's not God's time for us to have a baby yet. The force of this conviction hit me like a truck! I tried to be in denial because I was so disappointed for several days, but I knew it was true. So, I quit acting crazy and really released it all to God. It was strange... It felt like a giant weight was off my shoulders and chest, but then at the same time, I felt a little lost. What am I supposed to do now? I've made this TTC thing such a big part of my life that it feels weird to just completely walk away for a while. To just be content with my stepdaughter and keeping my young nephew during the day. I made up my mind to devote the extra time to the Lord and our relationship, and then Satan came after me with more crazy! (sickness, family drama, etc) On top of all that, I've run into more pregnant ladies in the last week than the entire time I've lived here, and my stepdaughter has picked "Kim having a baby" as her topic to exhaust this week. I haven't lost faith though; if anything this has strengthened it because it is proof (yet again!!) that He is still actively working in my life! God has given me the strength to get through it, and I know He's going to continue to do so. I prayed for patience and wisdom and my Father is gracing me with both... Through experience! lol With the same conviction, I know He's not saying "No." He's saying, "Not Yet."

Sorry this was a bit long. You ever notice when God does something huge in your life or reveals something to you, you feel like telling everybody?

 

[BRK06]

I've missed you ladies!

Congrats on your BFP HisGrace!! Praying for a H&H 9 months!

Welcome to all our new sisters!! :wave: I'm Kim and I'm looking forward to getting to know you better!

As always, every single one of you are in my prayers and I hope you're having a blessed day!!

 

[DBZ34]

Hi everyone!

My name is Ella. I'm 28 and waiting to be blessed with baby #1. I joined this thread a few months back, but I don't think I was ready for it when I did. I felt bad feeling the way I did when I had only been at it for a short while. So now, it's been 15 cycles (with one mc and a chemical) and I feel ready to come back and share in the journey on this thread.

I read stevens2010's post and I teared up a bit. I could feel the hope in my heart just welling up in the knowledge that God is about to deliver on his promises. It may not come when we want it, but it comes right on time. At the exact right time. I hope round 5 is it for you, stevens2010, and if not, then this cycle is just what you need to get that BFP.

Stevens2010's post also reminded me of how I've been feeling lately. I've been incredibly worked up about TTC the past few months. I was wallowing in the pits of despair for so long. I was depressed. I didn't want to give up trying, but I couldn't help but feel like it would never happen for me. I was so negative, I barely recognized myself. And then, I remembered a dream I had....

In March, I had a dream that one of my best friends (who lives in another state, so I haven't seen her in almost a year) was going to tell me that she was pregnant in April. April jumped out all over my dream. And in my dream, I thought I was pregnant too. Lo and behold, April rolled around and she told me she was preggers. I thought April would be my month too, but it wasn't meant to be. I guess thinking I was pregnant in a dream isn't the same as actually being pregnant...

The months wore on and I got more and more depressed about TTC. My SIL got pregnant two weeks after my mc, and when she would post about her pregnancy or her bump pictures, I was bitter and angry, but mostly sad that she was where I should have been and wasn't. And I think the fact that she and her boyfriend were just getting over a separation made me feel like it was an accident and the fact they managed to achieve quickly what I couldn't over long months made me resentful for a while.

And then, earlier this month, right around my mc due date, I woke up remembering a dream I used to have all the time before I started TTCing. My SIL had a daughter that was older than my son by about a year, give or take a few months, and I had two other children. A daughter that was 2 years younger than my son and a baby girl who was about 7 months old. My SIL's daughter was always older than my son in the dream...and when I remembered this, I felt a peace come over me. It made me feel like it was always meant to be this way. I had just forgotten in my TTC craze. Plus my SIL was with her long-term ex-bf when I was dreaming the dream and it just made sense then...and now, it's one of those dreams that I hope comes true.

My SIL is due today with a baby girl that we are eagerly awaiting. And I can't help but feel a renewed sense of purpose. I've been feeling SOOOO much more positive since I remembered this dream. A friend announced she was pregnant and I didn't get upset, I was just happy for her. I feel like myself again. And I had my first dream where I got a positive pregnancy test the other night...my MIL was there when I was telling DH, so it might be a while before I see my BFP (December), but I'm willing to wait and see what happens. I'm ready!

 

[Mummy_2_One]

Wow Ella! What an amazing dream and promise! And something that's going to be incredible to tell your children about one day.

I've been stalking much more than posting in this thread lately, and I just have to say a big thank you to Sarah for your vision for this thread and for being faithful to keeping it going. I cannot tell you how many times I've logged in to have a vent on another thread about an awful day or how hopeless this journey of TTC seems, and instead I think "I'll just pop in here first" and it changes my whole mindset. So thank you! x Our God is amazing and He's faithful, and His timing is so so perfect.


Some exciting news for me this month is that I'm heading up to O day and have decided to go back to the Billings Method of conception that saw us lucky 3 times before (and when I think about it now, I really have NO IDEA why I stopped trying that way - except that obviously the timing hasn't been right and it was a distraction God gave me to pass the time?). DH and I are in the best place we've been for longer than I can easily think back to, and I've just started a new diet and am looking forward to losing some weight and feeling much better about myself (so it would be murphy's law that I would fall soon and negate all the hard work!).

I also heard from God last night as I was about to get in the shower and felt some twinges from my right ovary. I get ovary pain all through my cycle, and particularly at ovulation, but it's usually when this close to O day, only on my left side, and that's where my other 3 pregnancies have come from. So being on the right last night made me take notice and think "that's different?". The God gave me the verse from Isaiah 43:19 that says "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." I think someone else was given this recently too??

I was also speaking to my sister last night, and she has an amazing connection with my DD (that is sometimes totally unexplicable) and prays for her often. She told me that while praying for her the other night, she also prayed for baby number 2. God has put it on her heart in the past to pray for the joy that my DD has, and that others will be touched by her joy, but the other night God also told her that she should pray for baby 2 as a 'warrior'. Another confirmation for me that we WILL have another child - PRAISE GOD!

I feel like these are really exciting days for this thread, and that lots of BFPs will be coming through! But more importantly that God will be moving and making himself known. That all of us, and our children, will be testament to the amazing power and grace of God.

 

[Godsjewel]

Hi everyone!

My name is Ella. I'm 28 and waiting to be blessed with baby #1. I joined this thread a few months back, but I don't think I was ready for it when I did. I felt bad feeling the way I did when I had only been at it for a short while. So now, it's been 15 cycles (with one mc and a chemical) and I feel ready to come back and share in the journey on this thread.

I read stevens2010's post and I teared up a bit. I could feel the hope in my heart just welling up in the knowledge that God is about to deliver on his promises. It may not come when we want it, but it comes right on time. At the exact right time. I hope round 5 is it for you, stevens2010, and if not, then this cycle is just what you need to get that BFP.

Stevens2010's post also reminded me of how I've been feeling lately. I've been incredibly worked up about TTC the past few months. I was wallowing in the pits of despair for so long. I was depressed. I didn't want to give up trying, but I couldn't help but feel like it would never happen for me. I was so negative, I barely recognized myself. And then, I remembered a dream I had....

In March, I had a dream that one of my best friends (who lives in another state, so I haven't seen her in almost a year) was going to tell me that she was pregnant in April. April jumped out all over my dream. And in my dream, I thought I was pregnant too. Lo and behold, April rolled around and she told me she was preggers. I thought April would be my month too, but it wasn't meant to be. I guess thinking I was pregnant in a dream isn't the same as actually being pregnant...

The months wore on and I got more and more depressed about TTC. My SIL got pregnant two weeks after my mc, and when she would post about her pregnancy or her bump pictures, I was bitter and angry, but mostly sad that she was where I should have been and wasn't. And I think the fact that she and her boyfriend were just getting over a separation made me feel like it was an accident and the fact they managed to achieve quickly what I couldn't over long months made me resentful for a while.

And then, earlier this month, right around my mc due date, I woke up remembering a dream I used to have all the time before I started TTCing. My SIL had a daughter that was older than my son by about a year, give or take a few months, and I had two other children. A daughter that was 2 years younger than my son and a baby girl who was about 7 months old. My SIL's daughter was always older than my son in the dream...and when I remembered this, I felt a peace come over me. It made me feel like it was always meant to be this way. I had just forgotten in my TTC craze. Plus my SIL was with her long-term ex-bf when I was dreaming the dream and it just made sense then...and now, it's one of those dreams that I hope comes true.

My SIL is due today with a baby girl that we are eagerly awaiting. And I can't help but feel a renewed sense of purpose. I've been feeling SOOOO much more positive since I remembered this dream. A friend announced she was pregnant and I didn't get upset, I was just happy for her. I feel like myself again. And I had my first dream where I got a positive pregnancy test the other night...my MIL was there when I was telling DH, so it might be a while before I see my BFP (December), but I'm willing to wait and see what happens. I'm ready!

Welcome back Ella!!! It’s been quite awhile since I’ve seen you around and I’m so glad to have you joined us again.

Sweetie, I think we have all been in that low place where we were doing all we could to conceive and felt so hurt and helpless when it didn’t happen. As women, it seems like we like to be in control of everything and want to get things done in our own timing and that’s when God steps in and tells us to wait…that He has a work that He wants to do in us before the blessing comes.

He is so good to us and wants to have a deep, intimate relationship with us and not just talk to Him about ttc or when we are down and don’t have anyone else to talk to, He longs for a relationship with us, He wants us to talk to Him about every single part of our lives. After all these years, I have finally have come to a place of peace that is indescribable and I know it’s because I have completely given my burden over to Him and have a relationship with Him like I’ve never had before.

I will continue to pray for you Ella and looking forward to being a part of your journey.

 

[Godsjewel]

Wow Ella! What an amazing dream and promise! And something that's going to be incredible to tell your children about one day.

I've been stalking much more than posting in this thread lately, and I just have to say a big thank you to Sarah for your vision for this thread and for being faithful to keeping it going. I cannot tell you how many times I've logged in to have a vent on another thread about an awful day or how hopeless this journey of TTC seems, and instead I think "I'll just pop in here first" and it changes my whole mindset. So thank you! x Our God is amazing and He's faithful, and His timing is so so perfect.


Some exciting news for me this month is that I'm heading up to O day and have decided to go back to the Billings Method of conception that saw us lucky 3 times before (and when I think about it now, I really have NO IDEA why I stopped trying that way - except that obviously the timing hasn't been right and it was a distraction God gave me to pass the time?). DH and I are in the best place we've been for longer than I can easily think back to, and I've just started a new diet and am looking forward to losing some weight and feeling much better about myself (so it would be murphy's law that I would fall soon and negate all the hard work!).

I also heard from God last night as I was about to get in the shower and felt some twinges from my right ovary. I get ovary pain all through my cycle, and particularly at ovulation, but it's usually when this close to O day, only on my left side, and that's where my other 3 pregnancies have come from. So being on the right last night made me take notice and think "that's different?". The God gave me the verse from Isaiah 43:19 that says "See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." I think someone else was given this recently too??

I was also speaking to my sister last night, and she has an amazing connection with my DD (that is sometimes totally unexplicable) and prays for her often. She told me that while praying for her the other night, she also prayed for baby number 2. God has put it on her heart in the past to pray for the joy that my DD has, and that others will be touched by her joy, but the other night God also told her that she should pray for baby 2 as a 'warrior'. Another confirmation for me that we WILL have another child - PRAISE GOD!

I feel like these are really exciting days for this thread, and that lots of BFPs will be coming through! But more importantly that God will be moving and making himself known. That all of us, and our children, will be testament to the amazing power and grace of God.

Praise God! You are more than welcome my dear. God has really used this thread to do a work in me and I am forever grateful for it.

When I first came on BnB and searched the threads, I couldn’t find any that were encouraging or Christian based and at the end of reading some of them, I started to feel worse than before I read them. It’s funny because I’m not usually much of a talker (hard to believe) but I longed for communication and encouragement from others who knew what I was going through and how I was feeling. I couldn’t find a thread that did it for me and that’s when I knew I had to step out of my comfort zone and start one. I’ve been so blessed many times over by the love we share for Christ and each other. I get so excited thinking that I’m a part of everyone’s journey and knowing that God has brought us all together for a reason.

That is an awesome verse sister and I’m looking forward to seeing how God is going to move in your life.

 

[Dynamicmae]

Love this thread!

 

[Mumma09]

Hi Ladies, I have not been on in a long time, super busy with work and life but just wanted to let you know that we are now 28 weeks pregnant with a sweet baby boy who is doing very well (little munchkin is a big boy already), our due date is 10 days before Christmas what a special gift he will be, we thank God everyday for this precious bundle he is entrusting to us!!

I have 2 friends who were also trying to conceive both who had issues that would make it hard if not impossible all praise be to God that without any intervention they are both pregnant 1 is a week over due today (poor thing) and the other due in February, all 3 of us had to wait and many tears were shed and cries out to the Lord and heartbreaks went through, but in Gods perfect timing he has blessed us with the promise of children.

Be encouraged ladies He has a plan for you and His plan is good xox

 

[stevens2010]

Hi ladies, just popping in.

I'm feeling really good about this cycle, I've been changing a lot spiritually and I feel so excited about what God is doing in my life and in my marriage. Myself and my husband have a lot of exciting things coming up in our church life and I'm so looking forward to being a part of God's movement in our town.

I have a Bible app on my iPhone and I get daily scriptures when I open it and this was today's..

Psalm 27:13
I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Amen!

I've been reading 1 Samuel about Hannah and Elkanah.

A particular verse has jumped out at me.

1 Samuel vs 8
Her husband Elkanah would say to her, "Hannah, why are you weeping? Why don't you eat? Why are you downhearted? Don't I mean more to you than ten sons?".

I thought of my wonderful husband and our marriage. I thought about the reasons why I married him and how deeply in love I am with him. I remembered that when we got married, I wanted to wait 2 years before getting pregnant (funny how life works out!) and I realised I didn't marry him in order to be a mother. Of course there's a maternal instinct and longing that as women, we have inside but I just felt like I was being reminded that my husband is not a means to an end. In light of this, I sat down with him and I told him, as hard as it was to say the words, "with children, or without children, you're my husband and I love you and I'll always love you no matter what." Of course I'm not suggesting that any of us are simply using our husbands as baby making machines! I just felt like I'd forgotten my DH and I am now more mindful of him and I make more of an effort to show him I appreciate him and that I love him etc.

I also came across this video on Youtube and found it quite challenging (if you watch it, I'm sure you'll see why!) because it's only human nature to want things in life, whether it's a baby, a certain job or whatever but we have to remember that in all things, God is first and while we may want certain things, those things may not be what God has in mind just yet. Keep on praying and seeking God's will for your life.

Amen!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3fr2Kl4Fcs

 

[Godsjewel]

Secondary Infertility

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30

Secondary infertility must be one of the most misunderstood circumstances in life. The frustration that comes from the inability to conceive is compounded by the lack of understanding by those around us. Most people cannot comprehend why it is difficult to face infertility when you have a child already. “You should be happy with the child you have!” “At least you have one child!” Statements such as these confirm most people’s lack of understanding as to why it hurts when you cannot give your precious child a sibling. If you face secondary infertility, know that your hurt and frustration is not unnoticed by God.

The desire for families is applauded in Scripture. We never see a family that is condemned for wanting to have more than one child. In fact, we even read in Matthew 18 and in Luke 15 where Jesus uses the example of a shepherd leaving his flock of 99 sheep to search for one sheep that is missing. In His teaching about salvation, He shows us that every person is important, not just the one who lives in our home now, but even the ones we want to have with us one day.

Sarah’s Laughter has had much correspondence with people struggling with secondary infertility lately so we wanted to encourage those of you who face this difficult diagnosis. You are not greedy for wanting another child. Although the nuances between primary and secondary infertility may differ, the unmet desire for a child remains the same. The frustration is there for us all. The hurt is there. The sadness is there. The good news is, God is there too.

Whether you struggle with primary or secondary infertility remember this: God calls you to come to Him when you hurt. In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus calls to you and says for you to come to Him when you are weary and burdened. This applies to you whether you are desperately trying to conceive the first time or even if you are trying to add another child to your family. The only prerequisite is that you are hurting. He calls you to come to Him and find rest.

 

[Dynamicmae]

Hey ladies!! I am new to baby and bump. I absolutely love this thread!! I have had pcos all my life. When I was young the operated often to remove cysts etc. I then found a gynea by the grace of God that doesn't believe in cutting. I have been with him for about 5 years now and in all the years despite being on treatment my cysts never went away completely. However I am overjoyed to announce that my last visit 11/09/12 ALL my cysts are gone.... The gynea even almost cried!!! In the words of the gynea 'HE is ALWAYS faithful" I prayed so hard that my cysts would be gone. I've now started on 50mg clomid cd 2-6. Currently on cd9. Doing all we can from our side and Leaving it in Gods hands now.... Praying for all the ladies on this blog!!!!!!!!