A dear friend of mine was a kindergarten teacher and was unusually gifted with children. They seemed to be drawn to her and she to them. After years of trying, she and her husband conceived and she had a totally normal pregnancy until she was about five months along. They suffered a devastating miscarriage and lost their little boy.
Through the many stages of their grief, my friend described a loss unique to her situation. As a teacher, she thrilled each time a child experienced the joy of learning, their eyes lighting up with recognition. She had so looked forward to teaching her child his numbers, his colors, his letters. When autumn rolled around and school supplies stocked the store shelves, this loss again seemed so great. No child to teach, no willing student to learn at her knee. However, like David, God knew just when and how to give the perfect gift to bring peace and healing.
One night as she was sleeping, my friend began to dream. In her dream she saw a child and knew it was the baby she had lost. She saw her little boy snuggled in the lap of Jesus as they sat in the middle of a field. Jesus would play with the boy, call him Jacob (which was the name given to the child during the pregnancy) and both were laughing and at ease. Jacob would ask Jesus questions. Whats this, Jesus? Jesus would answer, Thats a butterfly, Jacob. Whats this? Well, Jacob, that flowers called a dandelion. After many questions, answers and loving interactions, my friend said that Jesus turned His attention to her and it seemed that He was looking outside of the dream and straight into her hurt. He stared directly at her as He spoke and His words pierced her heart and brought healing to the wounds suffered through her loss: Jacob is learning creation from the Creator.
God knew her specific hurt and He knew the balm needed to soothe the pain. That particular dream may not have been as healing to another but it was so perfect for her. God spoke healing directly to her heart. What a wonderful, loving Father we have! He knows us, loves us, grieves with us and provides healing for wounds so great that only divine intervention can suffice. The healing is yours. It may take time and tears, but it is no mistake that Christ is called the Great Physician. But how can he know the grief I feel? Find comfort in the fact that He knows specifically how you feel, for you see, His child died, too.
God knows firsthand the grief of a parent whose heart has been crushed by a childs death. He stood heavyhearted on the precipice of Glory and watched as His Child bled and died. No doubt that God, whose emotions are millions upon millions of times deeper than our own, wept millions of times more tears than we could. Imagine your grief multiplied literally tens of millions of times and maybe you can begin to understand the depth of Gods grief.
What does this mean? It means you can pour out your heart to Him and Hell understand. When friends and family and even your spouse cant bear to see your tears anymore, God has incredibly broad shoulders for you to cry on and strong arms for you to fall into. Lay your head on His chest and hear His heart beating. A heart that broke, just like yours .
As you find comfort in the bosom of Love Himself, dont forget to look into His eyes and see the promise of a heavenly and eternal reunion with your child. One that will not end in miscarriage. No SIDS allowed inside the gates of pearl! No stilled heartbeats. No blighted ovums. No spontaneous abortions. No grief. No sadness. Just an eternity with the child youve held in your heart so much longer than in your body! And an eternity with a God who loved you enough to orchestrate the death of His only Son to provide a way to reunite you with your child.
-Beth Forbus
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They both like to sit under it
