Christian ladies TTC, we can encourage one another.

[VGibs]

I had an AMAZING God moment today!!!!! So we went to our new church last week and as always I was looking for a "sign". One of the songs we sang was one of my favorites "Days of Elijah". And also "Blessed be Your Name" I was so overwhelmed by the music choice and the fact that those songs made me feel so connected to my previous church. I took it for a small nudge from God saying "Look. I can show you connection somewhere else." So all this week I have been listening to Casting Crown's "Jesus Friend of Sinner's" over and over and over again. GUESS WHAT THEY PLAYED THIS WEEK? I was just awestruck! It was so hard not to well up and cry! I was so happy to have such a great clear sign! AMEN!

 

[DBZ34]

Hello there ladies,

I'm wondering if any of you can help me come to some sort of conclusion concerning my situation..

My Fiance and I happily found out we were expecting in December, after months of trying for our first bub. I went through a tough few weeks of bad cramping and spotting which frightened me so much that I didn't want to get out of bed for days on end. Only for us to lose our precious baby on the 14th of January through m/c at close to 8 weeks.

Being absolutely heartbroken, we then came to find out that my younger sister in law who lives with us, and already has a one year old, is once again pregnant. And she too, was around 8 weeks along last time they checked.

Knowing that everything in our life happens for a reason that God intended, I ask you lovely women, what do you believe my lesson will be now? I really don't know how I will handle watching her belly grow at the rate that mine was going to grow, watching her baby be born into the world, very close to when mine was going to be born.. I'm trying to figure out why I will be tortured seeing these things right in front of me? That way I can at least have something in my mind that says the entire process is worth it somehow.

LoveandSeven...Get ready for a long post.

I was in your position about a year ago and it was the hardest thing I have experienced while TTC. Not only did I lose my angel, but two weeks later I found out that my SIL was pregnant by a man she has serious doubts about. Accidentally. An oops baby. She was going to have the first grandchild and I felt like she was usurping my place in line. I was married. I waited until we were settled and stable...and yet, here she was, doing everything wrong and ending up in the place I had dreamed of for months, years even. Maybe if she was TTC, I could have prepared myself, but without warning, it hit me like a ton of bricks. And it hurt.

I was angry. I was indignant. I wanted to shout my rage to the heavens because I couldn't tell anyone on earth how I was feeling. DH didn't understand why I couldn't be happy for his sister. When she called to tell us, I burst into tears. DH wanted me to speak to her and I ran off and locked myself in the bathroom. I can't even tell you how often we argued about it. He couldn't understand how I felt and I couldn't understand why he was being so calloused and pig-headed about it. Why couldn't he understand my pain? I asked myself that so many times.

My heart was broken.

I had to watch her belly grow...to hear about appointments and scans. She did all the things that I had been looking forward to doing and was deprived of. She had pictures of my DH rubbing her belly when all I wanted was one, just one, of my own.

And then, my due date rolled around. It was terrible. I wallowed. I wasn't my usual cheery positive self, I was depressed. I didn't realize just how badly this had affected me until then. I looked back and saw that I had been depressed for 8 months and just didn't know it at the time. All those negative feelings, the negative reactions I had to pregnant people and facebook announcements...everything about me was different and I didn't like it. I realized just how negative towards life I had been and I decided to change my outlook.

I focused on the positive things in my life instead of what I didn't have. I have been so so very blessed. I'm alive! I have a loving and wonderful DH to try and make a baby with! I have a job and a roof over my head! I could be so much worse off. And so, I counted my blessings and tried to be more positive about life. I couldn't see then what I see now, but it was only the grace of God that got me through that time.

My SIL gave birth to beautiful baby girl and I dreaded seeing her. To look at her and think that my angel should be that size, that age. But this Christmas, I met my 2 month old niece for the first time and it was magical. I love that little girl so much. I didn't think I'd be able to, but there is much more room in my heart than I gave it credit for. And it didn't hurt. I thought it would be painful...but it wasn't. I held her, I played with her, I talked to her so often..and she smiled at me when I entered the room. I have plans to be her favourite aunt.

What got me through it? Prayer. When I felt like giving up, I prayed. And those long months TTCing without success after my m/c...I prayed. Lean on God through this tough time. He will get you through it and once you're on the other side, you'll realize that it's not for nothing. That your testimony will be that much more powerful when you tell of your rainbow baby and how you struggled. You will appreciate that rainbow so much more when it's growing in your belly....and you will have something to share when a woman comes in feeling so so low about her situation.

I am so much more positive now for going through that. 21 cycles and no baby yet, but I've got a song in my heart and my faith in God to help me when it gets tough. And I know that my positivity can help others. My struggles have a purpose. There's a reason I'm still hanging around BnB. And one day, I will have a child of my own. I believe that deep deep down in my heart. I will love that child so very much, much more than I can imagine, because I've had to go through so much to have him.

I don't know what lesson you will learn during this trial. But, we are here for you. We will support you and help lift you up when you are feeling down. I'm so glad you've come here. I hope you find BnB and this thread as wonderful and supportive as I have.

Don't think of it as being tortured. You need to re-frame it in your mind. The way you think of your SIL's pregnancy will affect how you feel in your life. Don't let negativity rule you.

But, I think that by going through this, your joy will be increased tenfold when you get that BFP. I pray it won't be long in coming.

 

[Godsjewel]

During a period of time prior to my marriage when I was trying to flaunt my independence, I decided I could handle everything entirely on my own. I was moving from one apartment to another and would not allow anyone to help me load furniture. I was going to load the glass top of my kitchen table into the back seat of my small Honda Accord and take it to my new apartment--all by myself. I carried it down a flight of stairs and made it to the parking lot, but when I got to my car, I realized the door was locked. I propped the glass table top on my foot to dig my keys out of my pocket, and was quite proud of my progress thus far. I got my door unlocked and began to gently slide the huge piece of glass into the back seat when everything--including the glass--fell apart. Apparently, I bumped the edge of the glass on the inside of the door frame at the just the right--or just the wrong--angle and CRRRRACK!!!!!!! The huge piece of glass split right down the middle. The oval shaped table top immediately became two gigantic shards of glass and one sliced the inside of my right wrist open like a hot knife through a stick of butter. The parking lot must’ve looked like a crime scene to the apartment dwellers who came home later that evening as there was broken glass and pools of blood everywhere! (In an odd twist, I was working as a counselor in a psychiatric hospital at the time and had to conduct counseling sessions with my wrist bandaged. It took a great deal of explanation at work before I was allowed to do my job.)

Many years have passed since my stubborn encounter with foolishness and glass table tops, yet I still carry a scar on the inside of my right wrist. It has faded with time, but it is still there. Sometimes when I notice that scar, I laugh a little when I remember how silly it was of me to not allow anyone to help me. Sometimes I remember how awkward it was to try to explain the injury to my employer. Nevertheless, no matter what I remember when I see the scar, I always know the wound is healed.

There is no doubt your infertility has caused scars. Some may be physical scars from surgeries you’ve endured in an attempt to correct the failures of a faulty reproductive system. The more painful wounds are the invisible ones--the scars on your wounded heart. Maybe some scars are old, some are more recent. Does your heart bear the scars of hurtful words, spoken out of ignorance, but injuring just the same? Another birthday without a baby cuts like a knife. Baby shower invitations make scars like paper cuts across the surface of your heart. Perhaps your scars run deeper. Have your heart and soul been wounded by the loss of your precious baby? What do you remember when you see the scars infertility has tattooed on your heart?

The Bible is an amazing love story to each of us who has ever felt the sting of baby hunger. It is the Word of a God who fully understands what it feels like to want a child to come into His family. He also understands what the death of a child feels like. Remember, His Child died too. If you are nursing wounds today, and you carry scars from infertility’s hand, please allow me the privilege of sharing a couple of passages of Scriptures with you. Psalm 34:18 says The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. If you are hurting because your womb and nursery remain silent, know that God is near. When you feel you will collapse under the weight of an empty cradle, envision the God of the universe rushing to your side to bear the weight for you . Psalm 147:3 says “He (the Lord) heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” If you feel wounded by infertility today, know that the Lord is working to bind your wounds. The Great Physician takes His place at your bedside to brush away your tears and bind your wounds. Even if you cannot sense His presence, God promises to be near to you, ever working, ever binding the wounds, ever healing the hurts of His child.

There’s an interesting thing about scars. When you look at them, what do you see? You can see a scar as a reminder that you’ve been wounded, or you can see them as a reminder that you’ve been healed. You can remember the hurt and the pain of the injury that caused the scar, or you can remember the healing and the restoration you’ve experienced. How will you choose to look at the scars of infertility? Will you choose to remember all the hurtful days and nights when tears flooded your face and your arms were achingly empty, or will you choose to remember that God Himself walked beside you through each and every experience? Will you choose to allow infertility to cause a chasm to grow between you and God, or will you choose to allow this difficult season to be the catalyst for a stronger relationship between you and the One who truly understands the hurts your heart carries? Your scars can be a magnificent vehicle for your testimony of healing to another who comes behind you bearing similar scars.

What will you remember when you view your scars?

-Beth Forbus

 

[Traveler]

Hello Everyone!
I'm no longer MIA!

Sorry for vanishing... had a couple crazy weeks, and then my laparoscopy.

I haven't had time yet to read through everything that's been going on, but I promise I will. I want to be in the loop!

But quickly, I have a question for any of you who have been through a lap.

I am on day 4 of recovery, and everything has been going great. My incisions look fine, swelling has gone down, pain level is tolerable with ibuprofen only. However, this morning I woke up feeling absolutely wretched. Weak, shaky, short of breath, waaaay nauseated and dizzy with a headache. My heart even felt a little fast. I had a low-grade fever.

Called my dr, and spoke with the nurse. She said she'd pass the info on to the doctor. It's now after-hours and I still haven't heard from them...

Should I be concerned that there is an infection? My mom is freaking me out telling me that I should call the hospital. I don't want to over-react.

My husband brought me some ginger medicine for the nausea and I feel a little more stable. I actually am even a tiny bit hungry...

Just looking for a little reassurance and direction.

Thanks, and hope you're all doing well!

 

[Godsjewel]

Hello Everyone!
I'm no longer MIA!

Sorry for vanishing... had a couple crazy weeks, and then my laparoscopy.

I haven't had time yet to read through everything that's been going on, but I promise I will. I want to be in the loop!

But quickly, I have a question for any of you who have been through a lap.

I am on day 4 of recovery, and everything has been going great. My incisions look fine, swelling has gone down, pain level is tolerable with ibuprofen only. However, this morning I woke up feeling absolutely wretched. Weak, shaky, short of breath, waaaay nauseated and dizzy with a headache. My heart even felt a little fast. I had a low-grade fever.

Called my dr, and spoke with the nurse. She said she'd pass the info on to the doctor. It's now after-hours and I still haven't heard from them...

Should I be concerned that there is an infection? My mom is freaking me out telling me that I should call the hospital. I don't want to over-react.

My husband brought me some ginger medicine for the nausea and I feel a little more stable. I actually am even a tiny bit hungry...

Just looking for a little reassurance and direction.

Thanks, and hope you're all doing well!

I had 2 laps and never felt like you are feeling, I would agree with mom and call the hospital. Better to be safe and make sure it's not something serious. Praying that everything turns out ok

 

[Godsjewel]

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;

And the rivers, they shall not overflow you.

When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,

Nor shall the flame scorch you.”

“For I am the LORD your God,

The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;”

Isaiah 43:2-3



As Christians, I think we somehow believe that we should be immune to experiencing problems, trials, or tragedy—like infertility. The bible tells us that these trials shape us, refine our character, discipline us, and strengthen our faith. I believe true peace comes not in the absence of trials, but in knowing (heart knowledge vs. head knowledge) God will carry us through and knowing He is with us every step of the way. The only way to know this is to walk through “fire and water” with Him.


Through my journey with infertility, I imagine myself walking through a river or a lake with water up to my neck. The water has not “overflowed”; it’s not over my head. However, any body of water with a current moving through it can be hard to navigate by foot. It gets harder and harder to keep my feet on the bottom and control where I want to go. At some point I must make a choice: either pick up my feet and relax, and let the current carry me downstream, or continue to struggle and fight my own way downstream. The Lord has promised us He will be with us and the waters will not overtake or overflow us. The waters are sometimes deep, have a swift current, or even rocks or other obstacles. However, if we give up control, we will pass through safely. I believe “water trials” are a test of our faith.


When I face the inevitable decisions entangled in the infertility journey, I often imagine I’m in a burning forest. The path may be clearly marked but all I can see for miles around are flames, smoke, and smoldering embers. The only way to get through is one step at a time. I’m hot and sweaty. My nose and throat sting from the smoke. I’m tired and thirsty. Visibility is limited. I have a choice: I can give up and quit because I can’t see where I’m going, and the journey is too hard, or I can press on forward, one step at a time. The Lord again has promised us that He will be with us. We may not get burned, but we’ll feel the heat. We may not get scorched, but we’ll smell the smoke. We must press on if we are to get out of this burning forest. I believe “Fire trials” are a test of endurance.


God is with us during our fire and water trials, even the trials involving the creation of our families. We need to accept the fact that we may get wet and feel the heat. But we will not drown or get burned. God is sovereign. When I get through these trials, my hope is that I’ll be changed more into Christ’s image and my character more like His.

—Jamie Hymel

 

[Godsjewel]

My friend who has gone through IVF and is now about 13 weeks along with twins, just had some brown spotting this morning and is a little worried.

I'm asking that you take a second to bring her before the Lord in prayer, that God would give her peace of mind and comfort her through this.

Thank You!

 

[Traveler]

I had 2 laps and never felt like you are feeling, I would agree with mom and call the hospital. Better to be safe and make sure it's not something serious. Praying that everything turns out ok [/QUOTE]



It was a stomach bug. Bad timing... but glad to know it wasn't infection.
Thanks for the help. We ended up calling the on-call doctor. It helped me rest at least. Praying for your friend!

 

[VGibs]

My friend who has gone through IVF and is now about 13 weeks along with twins, just had some brown spotting this morning and is a little worried.

I'm asking that you take a second to bring her before the Lord in prayer, that God would give her peace of mind and comfort her through this.

Thank You!

I have said a quiet little prayer. You might want to tell her that spotting with twins is quite common.

 

[Godsjewel]

Thanks for your prayers! My friend just messaged me to let me know everything is wonderful and her babies are nice and healthy.

 

[VGibs]

Praise The Lord!

 

[SlimBrit]

Thanks for your prayers! My friend just messaged me to let me know everything is wonderful and her babies are nice and healthy.

Yes! Praise God! He will bring her through this pregnancy. Be encouraged!

 

[Godsjewel]

Getting away for a few days was a good idea. Ever since their weekend getaways to the beach in the early days of their marriage, this secluded shore had been therapy for Riley’s wounded soul. She so needed its respite now!

She had always been so strong. Where had all her strength gone now that she needed more than ever before? Through every challenge life had presented, she’d stood firm. The pressures of college, competing against older, more experienced coworkers for career advancements, even the ups and downs of her relationship with Jake as they moved from a dating relationship toward the permanency of marriage. In every situation she had faced, if she tried hard enough, if she studied hard enough, if she fought hard enough she could get what she wanted. Nothing had made her feel as helpless as their inability to conceive. Infertility had ripped every modicum of control out of her hands. She had done all she knew to do. She had gone to doctors. She had taken care of her body and nothing worked. She had prayed more than she ever had in her life, studied her bible more and even fasted. Still no baby. She was beginning to wonder if God even cared.

She felt Jake’s strong arms slip around her waist as she leaned against the railing of the weathered pier. They stood silently for several minutes watching a young child play along the shoreline with his sailboat, as each wondered if they’d ever experience such with their own offspring. A crash of waves sent the young boy’s treasure flailing about the waves as he was helpless to retrieve it. Successive waves sent the vessel further and further away from the young captain, as his salty tears added to the ocean’s volume. Soon the tiny ship was lost and the frustrated boy sat down on the sand and cried.

“I understand, little guy,” Riley softly whispered. “I understand.”

*************************************************************************************

Perhaps one of the more difficult aspects of infertility is the feeling of loss of control. We like knowing that if we work hard enough, if we plan meticulously enough, if we pay close enough attention to details, things will work out the way we want. We all had our ideas of how our lives would pan out--finish school, find a good job and a wonderful spouse, become financially stable and have a baby! Everything went according to plan until you realized pregnancy would not come easily. Then, like a child’s toy being tossed about in the ocean’s current, everything went unmercifully out of control!

Perhaps you feel much like Jesus’ disciples did on the Sea of Galilee. A massive storm was howling and threatening to take their lives. Water was pouring over the sides of their boats and these experienced sailors were beginning to panic. They were doing everything they had ever been taught to do to survive a storm and nothing was working. Talk about feeling out of control! But there was good news! Jesus was on board! Surely He would help! Their lives flashed before their eyes as they noticed a mind-boggling and confusing site--Jesus was snoring! Their lives and their ship were spinning out of control and the Son of God decided it was a good time to take a nap?!?

Fear-gripped men grabbed the Savior of the world and with panicked voices cried “Do You not care that we perish?” In other words, “Get up, Jesus!!!!! Help me out here!” They couldn’t understand why Jesus seemed so unconcerned when their lives seemed so out of control!

It wasn’t that Jesus didn’t care about their problem. Jesus knew that their storm wasn’t out of control. It just wasn’t in their control. Mark 4:39 says And He got up and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Hush, be still." And the wind died down and it became perfectly calm. With only a word from the Word, the storm died and the sailors lived. The problem that terrified them was never for one moment more powerful than the Savior who snored through the waves. Jesus was so confident that He was in full, total and loving control of the storm that He laid His head down and slept.

Do you realize that even in the most tumultuous moments of your infertility storm, your problem is never really out of control? It’s just that it’s not in your control. Jesus has never once lost control of your problem. He remains in full, total and loving control of your storm. He knows what you’re going through and He knows just how--and just when--to speak the word and bring peace and calm. Trust Him through the winds and waves. Trust Him through all the ups and downs. And hang on! It’s a wild ride!

-Beth Forbus

 

[Godsjewel]

Hi Ladies!

I had my IVF cycle review yesterday and I’m so happy to finally be starting this 2 month journey. The coordinator gave me a sample calendar of what I will be doing during these next couple of months and it was very overwhelming to say the least

It all starts off with AF arriving, hopefully my last one for the next 9 months

Here is what is going to be happening in the next 6 weeks…

• Start birth control pills on CD 3 for 3 weeks
• Go in with hubby to sign IVF consents
• baseline ultrasound and order medication
• injection training
• start Lupron
• pre-stimulation ultrasound and blood test
• reduce lupron and continue daily until instructed to stop
• start follistim and menopur
• blood test and ultrasounds 3-5 appointments in one week
• hcg injection
• retrieval
• start progesterone
• embryo transfer
• post retrieval visit
• blood test for pregnancy

So based on the sample calendar she put together for me, we are looking at receiving a BFP around April 2nd

It seems like so far away, but I’m sure it will go by fast…well I’m really hoping it does.

 

[VGibs]

Hello ladies...

I was a little bit nervous to say this but I got my 2 days ago.

I have always been very fertile and it has caused me some issues in the past with women who had infertility problems. I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

I hope you can find it in your hearts to pray for me and my husband and our little miracle as we have had previous miscarriages and are always worried about that.

 

[No Doubt]

GJ what a busy schedule! Bit I'm so glad that you are moving through the process and things are going smoothly. So excited for you!

Congrats Gibs! I'll be praying you and hubbs and tour tiny miracle to be!

 

[SlimBrit]

Sarah, I don't know what half of those words mean, but I'm so excited because it all sounds good! I'll be waiting to hear about this soon, I'm interested in what it's like!


Gibs, no one here would ever want to stop you from telling us how God has blessed you. I am more than happy for you and can't wait to hear about your first ultrasound with baby Gibs! We'll definitely be praying for the fulfillment of your miracle.

 

[Godsjewel]

Hello ladies...

I was a little bit nervous to say this but I got my 2 days ago.

I have always been very fertile and it has caused me some issues in the past with women who had infertility problems. I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

I hope you can find it in your hearts to pray for me and my husband and our little miracle as we have had previous miscarriages and are always worried about that.

Congrats! woohoo!!! Anytime there is a pregnancy, it's a miracle

Thank you Jesus for blessing my sis with her heart's desire, I ask that you help comfort her mind and bring her peace through this pregnancy. I pray that the baby develops with no problems and will grow to become healthy and strong. In your precious name I pray...AMEN!

 

[Godsjewel]

What an amazing example Hannah gives to the woman desperate for a child! Just as you would give anything to conceive and give birth to a healthy, full-term baby, Hannah also pleaded with God for a child. Surely you will see yourself in her sorrow. Make it a goal to see yourself in Hannah’s worship.

We see a portrait of persistence in Hannah. 1 Samuel 1:7 tells us that as Hannah’s great effort to become a mother dragged on year after year, so did Hannah’s determination to worship God. “It happened year after year, as often as she went up to the house of the LORD…” Hannah kept going to worship. She didn’t decide that her battle was so intense that she had to hide herself in the confines of her home. She kept going to worship year after infertile year.

We also learn that Hannah was not only a persistent worshipper, but she was also a persistent pray-er. 1 Samuel 1:12 says “Now it came about as she continued praying before the LORD…” God didn’t answer her prayer the first time she prayed, so she kept praying. When God’s answer was a silent “not now”, Hannah kept on praying. When she was accused of being drunk due to her grief, she kept on praying. Hannah just simply kept on praying.

If you have seen yourself in Hannah’s tears, find yourself in Hannah’s persistent worship and prayer. Even after God blessed Hannah with the child she had begged for for so many years, her persistence in prayer and worship continued. Compare the first and second chapters of 1 Samuel. In chapter one, we see Hannah begging God for a child. In chapter two, we see Hannah’s song of thanksgiving for God’s gift of Samuel. Notice anything? How many verses in chapter one are devoted to Hannah asking God for a child? 3 (1 Samuel 1:10-12). Now look at chapter 2. How many verses are devoted to Hannah praising God for His gift of a child? 10! (1 Samuel 2:1-10) Her praises far outnumbered her petitions! If you go back to chapter one, you’ll even witness her worship in the midst of her heartache and her praise spilling forth before Samuel was weaned. Hannah never forgot to give praise and worship to the God who had closed her womb!

Worship God through your tears. Don’t forget to invite Him to your celebrations. May the story of Hannah’s persistent prayer and worship inspire you through the good days and the bad.

-Beth Forbus

 

[HisGrace]

Hello ladies...

I was a little bit nervous to say this but I got my 2 days ago.

I have always been very fertile and it has caused me some issues in the past with women who had infertility problems. I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

I hope you can find it in your hearts to pray for me and my husband and our little miracle as we have had previous miscarriages and are always worried about that.

Congratulations!!! Praise God!