Circumcision and cultural differences

[Tiff]

Mine is definitely for it.

 

[cleckner04]

Mine is for circumcision too. He wasn't really budging but I keep throwing it into conversation. We don't even have a son and I'm not even pregnant but I want to get it figured out now just in case.

 

[PeanutBean]

The problem is that men can't think for themselves and just want to be like their mates. Men, willies and peer pressure? Bad mix! They need women for rational guidance.

 

[BlackBerry25]

This is why it should be a personal choice. Some families are for it, some are against, some are split. It is a personal decision.

And we as parents make the decisions for our kids, whether we choose to do it or to give the decision to our kids as they mature.

 

[trumpetbum]

It probably is subjective, so imo best left to the man to choose of he wants to (unless he happens to have had no choice like your dh) and your dh is probably one of the few men who can honestly say that they have first hand experience of which they prefer as he has had both. On the other hand it might be argued that adult circumcision would not entail the same degree of sensitivity loss that one would perhaps experience from having no protection from the foreskin from infancy.

Your post made me think of something, just on how us as women are all over this whole "knowing what's best for our boys", be it pro or con circumcision, but somehow I think that if it were an issue that was central to women and it was men who were trying to have the deciding say on it there'd be a lot of upset women!

I don't mean that against anyone in this thread, and it can be true for both sides of the argument.

To be honest, I think my own argument would be that simply being someone's parent (male or female) doesn't mean that we inherently know what is best for our children, we are simply the only ones who can decide on issues which must be dealt with before a child has the ability to do so themselves, circumcision imo is not such an issue. Nor should we have the final say in whether a childs body should be altered, imo. For me a woman is no more qualified than a man to decide and vice versa as the body belongs to the child and the choice therefore should be theirs.
I think the issue of autonomy and choice is central to all.

 

[bubbles123]

People aged 18 and over can do what they want to their bodies (or penis's in this case!). Children cannot give consent to a cosmetic procedure so circumcision should never be performed on children unless there is a specific medical cause. End of really. If it's for religious reasons or cultural ones it can be done when they are an adult and they have free choice. A more risky op I know but at least they can give consent.

 

[redpoppy]

The thing is that's just not going to happen. You can try logic but humans aren't logical creatures for the most part and convincing a culture to be logical isn't going to happen any time soon. Also, until the procedure is shown to be dangerous or even harmful the vast majority of people who do circumcise aren't going to take the opposition seriously.

It's like telling people they can't indoctrinate their children into their religion. Aint gonna happen. You can claim it's immoral, against ideals, evil or whatever but they're not gonna take you seriously.

Things will change and unless there is a need to start circumcising due to mass outbreak of X disease in the future the likelihood is that in a few centuries or a millennia or so it wont be practised, but realistically on the scale of important issues, although it can be made to sound horrific unless the repercussions are so it's not going to be thought of as being so.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

My nephew was circumsised today due to medical reasons. It went wrong and he is now in a lot of pain. It makes me want to cry because I can't take it away. Now I have seen what can go wrong it has cemented in my mind that I will never get Aidan circumsised or any future boys I may have unless medically nessicary
x

 

[Tiff]

My nephew was circumsised today due to medical reasons. It went wrong and he is now in a lot of pain. It makes me want to cry because I can't take it away. Now I have seen what can go wrong it has cemented in my mind that I will never get Aidan circumsised or any future boys I may have unless medically nessicary
x

But even medical reasons won't reduce the risk of something happening. Although that is so sad for your nephew! What went wrong?

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I don't know the full details as my sister was in a rush. Bascially they wanted to go keyhole or something. Something with less surgical intervention. It didn't work and they have to do more inscions that nessicary. And soon the poor little mite has to have his little balls operated on because one hasn't come down properly.

He is the only boy/man in my family (it is full of boys) that has had problems with their foreskins and there is nothing to say it wouldn't have gone wrong if he was a baby.

xx

 

[Tiff]

Awww

My cousin had an undescended testicle and had to have surgery on that as well. hate seeing them in pain.

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

He is in hopsital at the moment. I wish they has maybe done it at the same time. Would be more pain but at least it would be over
xx

 

[JASMAK]

I don't know the full details as my sister was in a rush. Bascially they wanted to go keyhole or something. Something with less surgical intervention. It didn't work and they have to do more inscions that nessicary. And soon the poor little mite has to have his little balls operated on because one hasn't come down properly.

He is the only boy/man in my family (it is full of boys) that has had problems with their foreskins and there is nothing to say it wouldn't have gone wrong if he was a baby.

xx

Hope he feels better soon. Sounds painful.

 

[Joyzerelly]

Check out this thread if you're undecided about circumsision, or even if you are decided. https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnancy-third-trimester/734427-informative-video-comparing-circumsized-uncircumsized-penis.html

 

[Joyzerelly]

And this, in this one a Jewish mother talks about circumsision and her deep regret about the decisions she made: https://www.babyandbump.com/pregnancy-third-trimester/713450-jewish-mother-talks-circumcision.html

 

[5ara]

I am in the US and had never know anyone NOT circumcised, like the OP. But I really didn't want it done to my DS, as there is no reason to other than social "norm". My DH and I had many hours of debate about it, because he did want it done. I told him that if he would watch a video of a baby being circumcised and he still wanted to do it then I would let it go. He refused to watch the video, so I won the debate.

Since making that decision and being open about it, I have discovered that several people I know are not circumcised. Both of my brothers-in-law are intact, and my sister-in-law just had a son and did not circumcise him (I was totally shocked about this b/c she's so "mainstream" in ever other way). The people who thought I was wrong before (my parents & DH) have never said another word about it. They don't care anymore.

The rate of circumcision in the US is only 35-40% now, and dropping. Your DS will have lots of other friends that are intact. I think that uncut men in the U.S. are kind of "in the closet" so most people wrongly assume they are cut.

I'm not saying that one way is right for everyone, but it is an important decision that will effect your son for life either way. If you feel strongly about it, then stick to your beliefs. You may be surprised to find support later on.
And if you don't feel strongly about it, I suggest you do some research and get an informed opinion (besides the argument that "everybody else is doing it").

 

[tu123]

I've read this thread with great interest. Some very well educated arguements.

What i still cant understand is why we need to cut something off that a man is born with. Why in some religions is it the expected thing to do?

If you take a look at the Bible, it is interpreted differently by many different christian fractions. Somewhere along in history man has chosen to interpret it one way and that is the only way from then on. Who is to say one person is right or wrong?

 

[Ashley8806]

Something i found interesting - the other day we were talking to the in-laws about the whole circumcision debate, and my FIL was genuinely shocked. He said when they had their boys (in the 80's), you would have had to have a good reason to tell the doctor why you DIDN'T want your baby circumcised, as it was just something that was done to every baby. He was shocked that there was such debate over it, as to him it was such a normal thing to do here. (which it still technically is - working in a hospital on a mother/baby floor, I have seen how many get circumcised and how many do not, and there are VERY FEW who do not get circumcised). Just thought it was interesting how things have changed!

 

[Soccergurl3]

I live in Canada and here it is the norm.My husband is circumcised and so we got our son circumcised as well. We did it for many reasons but mainly because of personal experiences. My ex boyfriend constantly was getting infections under the hood of his penis for years. He was constantly showering and went to the doctor regularly for new creams and antibiotics to help the situation and nothing worked. So he ended up getting a circumcision and has NEVER looked back. He has never got an infection since and also LOVES the way that it looks in comparison so because of infections that was another huge reason. Also my friend that is a gymnast wasn't cirumcised and ended up falling the wrong way on a horse in a routine and the skin tore. It tore so badly that they ended up circumcising him as well and AGAIN he loves it way more. Also my brother was teased when he was younger and a boy looked over and saw his penis from across the urinal and got called "elephant snout" for weeks, I would never want my son to go through that kind of ridicule!. So for all the reasons i listed above we chose to have our son circumcised

 

[Dopeyjopey]

I don't get how boys can tease each other tbh... Surely gawping at another boy's penis deserves more of a ribbing?