Circumsicion argument... **Page 11 OPs response**

[MrsKChicago]

These things always go in circles, but some of the sources linked have the potential to be useful to those of us in mixed opinion households. If DH starts talking circumcision again, I may just send him the photo link and the links on anesthetic (and lack thereof).

 

[pinklightbulb]

I once watched a circ clip on YouTube. I cried like *I* was the baby. It's just incomprehensible to me. I know pro-circ mums say your baby, your choice, but what happened to the baby's choice? He doesn't get one if you take it away for him.

 

[Feff]

Why do people actually circumcise their son? Can someone please post a list of reasons why they did/will do it if they get a chance? I just honestly don't get it

 

[rwhite]

I swear some people have nothing better to do than spend so much time on research on a topic like this

Your baby your decisions. If you're really going to sit back and watch people argue over something that is very culturally based. I'm in the US, I would do it. Its what we do around here. I'm really not going to question it because doctors don't do things "just because they can." If it was a "dangerous" and "unnecessary" as you people are making it out to be, we wouldn't do it. I'm telling you, the information that is provided is very bias based on where you're from.

There's no reason to have super long posts to prove why you feel the way you feel. Its just like FF vs BF, traditional weaning vs BLW. This is turning into a "I'm right, your wrong" debate

I see nothing wrong with providing factual information (cited articles and links to studies) - being armed with information that you may not have seen before never hurt anybody Informed decisions are awesome.

People change their minds about things all the time - there are actually a lot of parents who regret circumcising their boys, and choose not to do it to future ones
These stories for example:
https://www.moralogous.com/2013/07/22/real-stories-i-changed-my-mind-about-circumcision/
https://www.mothering.com/forum/44-...circumcising-your-son-s-please-post-here.html

The whole point is - how necessary is it, really, if it's not performed in most countries worldwide, only the US and Middle East/Africa? There are millions of males who have an intact penis and are healthy. If it were necessary, wouldn't they be circumcised too?

You mention that doctors don't just do things "because they can". Well, they do get paid for performing circumcisions. That's hundreds of dollars for what is usually under an hour of work. There is some bias there.

And I'm sorry if my posts are long - I hope that they are found helpful and appreciated by some. Like I said earlier in this post, it never hurts to have info you weren't familiar with before xx

 

[mel28nicole]

I swear some people have nothing better to do than spend so much time on research on a topic like this

Your baby your decisions. If you're really going to sit back and watch people argue over something that is very culturally based. I'm in the US, I would do it. Its what we do around here. I'm really not going to question it because doctors don't do things "just because they can." If it was a "dangerous" and "unnecessary" as you people are making it out to be, we wouldn't do it. I'm telling you, the information that is provided is very bias based on where you're from.

There's no reason to have super long posts to prove why you feel the way you feel. Its just like FF vs BF, traditional weaning vs BLW. This is turning into a "I'm right, your wrong" debate

I see nothing wrong with providing factual information (cited articles and links to studies) - being armed with information that you may not have seen before never hurt anybody Informed decisions are awesome.

People change their minds about things all the time - there are actually a lot of parents who regret circumcising their boys, and choose not to do it to future ones
These stories for example:
https://www.moralogous.com/2013/07/22/real-stories-i-changed-my-mind-about-circumcision/
https://www.mothering.com/forum/44-...circumcising-your-son-s-please-post-here.html

The whole point is - how necessary is it, really, if it's not performed in most countries worldwide, only the US and Middle East/Africa? There are millions of males who have an intact penis and are healthy. If it were necessary, wouldn't they be circumcised too?

You mention that doctors don't just do things "because they can". Well, they do get paid for performing circumcisions. That's hundreds of dollars for what is usually under an hour of work. There is some bias there.

And I'm sorry if my posts are long - I hope that they are found helpful and appreciated by some. Like I said earlier in this post, it never hurts to have info you weren't familiar with before xx

I do appreciate the info. I love learning information. But I just felt that any time someone said they would do it, instead of others providing factual information, some were coming a crossed as " why would you hurt an infant?!?" I'm not saying you were. I do think the research regarding certain cancers, UTIs leading the kidney damage, etc are good reasons to circumcise if someone were to choose to do so. But others try to make it sound like that its not worth it (though other research has suggested that 10% of those uncircumcised will need circumcised for medical reasons when older, and the procedure is more difficult). I just want those whp choose to circumcise do not feel they are doing something wrong. When someone comes a crossed as saying "why would you hurt an infant" is going to make someone feel bad. Just like some people look at feeding formula to a baby is "poisoning" them, same with vaccinations.

That's the point I wanted to make. Whether someone chooses to circumcise or not, they shouldn't be looked down on for it. I apologize if it seemed like I was taking offense to any of the posts, just some seemed harsher than they needed to be

 

[rwhite]

I do appreciate the info. I love learning information. But I just felt that any time someone said they would do it, instead of others providing factual information, some were coming a crossed as " why would you hurt an infant?!?" I'm not saying you were. I do think the research regarding certain cancers, UTIs leading the kidney damage, etc are good reasons to circumcise if someone were to choose to do so. But others try to make it sound like that its not worth it (though other research has suggested that 10% of those uncircumcised will need circumcised for medical reasons when older, and the procedure is more difficult). I just want those whp choose to circumcise do not feel they are doing something wrong. When someone comes a crossed as saying "why would you hurt an infant" is going to make someone feel bad. Just like some people look at feeding formula to a baby is "poisoning" them, same with vaccinations.

That's the point I wanted to make. Whether someone chooses to circumcise or not, they shouldn't be looked down on for it. I apologize if it seemed like I was taking offense to any of the posts, just some seemed harsher than they needed to be

I understand. I think the outrage expressed by some is because it is so culturally not the norm outside of the US - I might liken it to the outrage any of us feel when it comes to FGM. It is not done in our countries, so to us it is outrageous and unthinkable, but over there it is seen as just what you do - a rite of passage, and they think of it as cleaner and more attractive.

I am not of the mindset that it is right or helpful to attack anybody, tact is definitely important when trying to explain your standpoint on issues like this especially. Every decision that a mother/father makes is what they feel to be in the best interests of their child - it just never hurts to have all the information you can possibly have before you make a decision like this. I don't think it's something to take lightly, because it's not something you can reverse once it's done, that's all.

I have heard mothers say they wish they knew more before deciding to circumcise and that they will always regret it - I cannot imagine how that must feel These are mothers who did it because it was "just what you do", that they had never seen a penis that wasn't circumcised and their husband was.

 

[rwhite]

Sorry, I know I'm like, the woman of a million links But this one is also really good! It refutes a lot of the common arguments for circumcision, and is a post by a woman who initially considered circumcision the "done thing"

https://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2011/11/27/the-circumcision-decision/

 

[mel28nicole]

Sorry, I know I'm like, the woman of a million links But this one is also really good! It refutes a lot of the common arguments for circumcision, and is a post by a woman who initially considered circumcision the "done thing"

https://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2011/11/27/the-circumcision-decision/

That is a very nice article, I enjoyed it a lot!!

 

[rwhite]

Sorry, I know I'm like, the woman of a million links But this one is also really good! It refutes a lot of the common arguments for circumcision, and is a post by a woman who initially considered circumcision the "done thing"

https://birthwithoutfearblog.com/2011/11/27/the-circumcision-decision/

That is a very nice article, I enjoyed it a lot!!

 

[Alovelikexo]

Hello ladies. I haven't responded until now as I wanted everyone to have their say and then read it through fully so I could read it all at once.

I really appreciate everyone's input of opinion and all the links you have given me.

I did not for a second think this would start such a debate to be honest, as I've never given something like this much thought.

I still don't know how I feel about this being done to my son, I am completely torn between putting my son through that and respecting my other halfs cultural beliefs right now.

I have taken every post and every article and every response on board and have decided to discuss this with my midwife before contacting a local Rabbi for an in depth conversation with him about why & how it's done, risks, pro's and con's etc.

Again, thank you all so much, I don't think the debate should continue any further as I feel I have so much information now and never wanted it to become an argument of right or wrong.

 

[Feronia]

Best of luck to you, Alovelikexo! I hope that you're able to weave through all the information that's been posted on this thread and make a mutually satisfactory decision with your OH. It's tough any time a couple disagrees about a major parenting decision, especially if there are cultural factors involved.

I don't want to add to the debate at all because I agree that just about everything that can be said has been said, but since you added that your OH is Jewish could you possibly talk about alternatives to the circumcision ceremony that still respect his beliefs? Many Jewish parents still decide to have the ceremony but omit cutting the infant's body and cut something else instead: https://www.jewishcircumcision.org/ritual.htm

 

[MrsKChicago]

Good luck coming to an agreement. I'm sure your husband's religious beliefs add an extra layer of complication to things.

 

[Alovelikexo]

My partner isn't Jewish, if he was we wouldn't be here today I am sure. He is Ghanaian, I don't know much about the culture as I fell in love with him as person not his back ground culture which is what he's not understanding at the moment.
I hope we come to a mutual understanding however at this point in time I feel I'm fighting a losing battle.

 

[Feronia]

Oh, sorry about that! Since you mentioned a Rabbi I assumed he was Jewish.
Perhaps you can ask him what about it is important to his culture, and if there is any sort of ceremony, maybe you can do it symbolically? There must be some sort of compromise that doesn't involve circumcising to appease your OH. Both parents should be on the same page, and if you both don't agree, I'd suggest putting off the decision. Perhaps waiting until the child is old enough to decide for himself?

 

[rwhite]

All the best for whatever decision you and your partner come to, OP Who knows, you may even find that once your little guy is earthside, your partner has a total change of heart and does not want to go through with it.

Good luck for your upcoming labour and birth, won't be long now