Co-sleeping once baby is here...

[ovetta2001]

Can I have your ladies opinions on it please?

I'm on the fence about it all. Not sure either way.

What do you think about it and if you would/did how did/do you?

Thank you

 

[NDH]

Initially I was dead against it, but now I'm planing on givin it a go. Not in the same bed though as DH takes up too much space and we only have a double I'm planning on turning the crib/cot into a sidecar so the baby will be at arms reach but in it's own space - and will widen my side of the bed so baby can snuggle on my side with me if I'm brave enough.

you'll find a lot more helpful advice in the natural parenting section of the forum though as most of them there do or have coslept. Can be just for a few months (I think we'll cosleep for 6-9 months) or some cosleep for years.

 

[SuperKat]

I co-slept with my first child, and never after that. I heard too many stories of babies being accidentally smothered (my brother in law worked in an emergency room and it wasn't that uncommon to have babies brought in for this very thing..), and to top it off, one night, i awoke from a dead sleep just in time to see my DH moving a pillow in his sleep to get comfortable and that pillow was going directly on top of DS. I totally freaked out, that was it. When he got bigger (old enough to not be smothered he ended up back in our bed, and stayed in our bed until he was 4....I swore I'd never do it again. It made intimacy with DH very hard since we couldn't/wouldn't do anything with him in the bed, we couldn't even cuddle because DS insisted on being in the middle of us...then there is the flailing, lol....DS is very tall for his age and moves a lot in his sleep, we got tired of getting kicked/hit in our sleep...lol. As he got bigger and bigger our bed felt smaller and smaller...lol

After that, I put the bassinet next to my bed- so he and the other two sleep directly next to me, but not actually in my bed. Much much safer imo.

 

[fairykate]

OH is a 'violent' sleeper and instead of turning over or rolling over like 'normal' people, he literally throws himself up in the air and turns that way. Sleeping with him in the bed is like sleeping on a small fishing boat on choppy seas Constantly being bounced around !!

Also he's Type1 Diabetic and sometimes has night hypos where he either goes into a cold sweat with violent shaking/fitting, or throws himself around violently from side to side shouting and swearing. Only happens every so often but even the cat gets locked out when this happens in case he hurts her by accident.

So no, we will NOT be co-sleeping lol Of course the baby will still be in our room, but in his crib at the side of the bed.

 

[thelioncub]

We are going to co-sleep but with our baby in a cot that latches onto the side of ours. I wouldn't consider having the baby in the same bed because of the chance of rolling over and squashing him/her. However, I do feel that it is more natural to have the baby close to you in those early months, and makes it much easier if you are breastfeeding. Instead of fully waking up to go into another room to check on the baby, you'll be able to reach out and touch him/her - which may be enough to stop any crying. If s/he needs feeding, you'll also be able to do this without having to properly get up, which I think will not only be quicker, but may mean you both fall back to sleep just that little bit faster.

My sister had her baby in another room from day one because she didn't like trying to sleep with his noises in the room. But the way I saw it was that by the time she'd woken up from his crying and gone into the other room, he was in such a state that it took her so much longer to feed him. She really struggled with breastfeeding anyway, so to me it seemed that she was making things harder on herself by her choice to have him so far away.

We are lucky enough to have bought a second hand BabyBay cot (from Germany where my dad lives - much more expensive in the UK and harder to find) Take a look at a photo though, as it does seem like such a practical solution. We'll have it next to our bed to begin with, then will put the side gate up to make it a standalone cot, and perhaps move it away from our bed, then eventually into the other room. I'm sure there are other similar things available, so it might be worth taking a look to see whats out there. I would say that this would be a bit more safe than having the baby in your bed, so best of both worlds!

 

[Anna B]

I always do as it makes breastfeeding at night easier. I'm pregnant with my 8th and no harm came to any of them.. you won't roll on them as you don't deep sleep - it's instinctive.

You hear stories of moms/dads who have rolled on their babies but that's when they have been under the infuence.. which is a huge no no.

 

[rosie5637]

i can see why you're on the fence, there are so many conflicting views

for me i would never do it. not for safety but through selfishness lol
i really love my sleep and i don't want to be deprived of my deep sleep cause i just know i'd be on edge worrying about rolling over etc. i like to sprawl across my bed too so don't want to be restricted on space. a cot will do fine for me

 

[2RockinBoys]

We didn't co-sleep with our first, but in the morning when my OH would get up for work i'd put our son in bed with me for a few hours snuggle sleep which was really nice
He's 2now, and will usuall get into bed with us about 7in the morn for snuggles, though a few times he's ninja'd his way in during the night, and we've not crushed him as of yet lol

 

[Dorian]

Both of my boys were happy sleeping in their own bed (crib), I was happy to put them there, because it gives me a small break. Somewhere I can sleep comfortably without worry, as baby is in his own bed. The crib for my oldest was in his own room, but my youngest the crib was in our room. Just like it will be for this one.

But my dd, now she was different!! She would NOT sleep for more than 5 minutes, unless she was next to me. I carried her around in a pack during the day, and she slept in bed with us at night. I did have a hard time getting her to her own bed once she was a toddler. But I put her toddler bed in our room and that seemed to help.

Either way, my kids have grown up just fine (17, 13, and 7 yrs old). It's totally a personnal preferrence.

 

[patch2006uk]

We used a bedside (sidecar) cot for the first 6 months and loved it! I wasn't comfortable with the idea of a tiny baby in our bed, and the cot allowed us to have the closeness of co-sleeping without any of the downsides. I also like to sleep on my front, and I'd had enough of sleeping uncomfortably on my side while I was pregnant!

That being said, co-sleeping done correctly is incredibly safe, and there are studies suggesting it can reduce the incidences of SIDS. It's safest if you breastfeed, don't smoke or drink and your mattress is firm. There are lots of ladies who cosleep over in the natural parenting forum, they'd probably give you the positive view to counteract society's general negativity towards it.

 

[Tacey]

I feel much safer bed sharing than having a baby in the cot. Alice has never spent a full night in her own bed! When she was little, she only ever slept next to me, DH was on the other side, and she was breastfed, which apparently affects the mother's awareness. I never drink before co-sleeping, and wouldn't if I was ever excessively exhausted. Neither DH or I smoke either. Everyone in the bed has their own covers. DH kept the duvet, but it was well away from the baby. I just dressed warmly and had a blanket. Alice had a sleeping bag. I had always been a heavy sleeper, but my responsiveness to her throughout the night was amazing. When she had a cold, I was so alert as soon as she seemed to struggle with breathing.

I think it's sad that tragedies resulting from unsafe co-sleeping affect the reputation of co-sleeping in general. I think it's a very personal decision, and something that everyone involved has to feel comfortable with.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

We have co slept occasionally with Ruby (basically whenever she wants to) but we think it'll be fulltime with no2, Ruby would never latch on but with no2 breastfeeding I personally don't fancy doing it any other way. I would have thought there would be more sleep for everyone and less crying so less likely that toddler will be woken!

 

[marley2580]

Always have always will. It's the right choice for our family

 

[Mary Jo]

we're still co-sleeping with our 2 year old, and about to start transitioning him into his own room before the new baby comes. Adam always had his own cot (till 2 months ago when we took it down to move and never put it back up, he'd stopped sleeping in it anyway once he'd figured out how to climb out), and it's a co-sleeper, so he would start off in the cot and then I'd bring him in to bf, and we'd both fall asleep. he always napped fine in the cot during the day, and some nights (not that many, on reflection) he did sleep the whole night in there.

I couldn't have coped with getting up every few hours to feed him, and then later, to settle him. we have a really big bed, so we've always had our own space, and when Adam was in sleeping bags (up to early this summer) he was on top of the duvet. now he's snuggled underneath. I will miss him when he's finally evicted.

I must add, though, I never planned to co-sleep till this age, but until a couple of months ago we were in a 1-bed flat and had no option but to share a room, and when a toddler can get out of his own bed and climb in yours, and there isn't anywhere else for him to go, for the sake of peaceful nights we didn't fight it. with the new baby we'll probably try to make the transition around 9-12 months.

 

[ahcigar1]

I would never be able to do it, and even read somewhere that it isn't reccomended due to the risks of smothering your baby and also our beds often tend to be too soft for LO which helps increase the risk of SIDS. I plan on putting LO in a bassinet beside my bed but will never sleep with her in bed with me. The risk of something happening is just too great and I would never be able to relax cause would always be worried something would happen.

 

[Zodiac]

I don't like the idea of co-sleeping. baby will be in our room for the first 3 months or so but in his own bassinet. After that he will be in his own room. This is the same thing I did with my daughter. Even as she got older and was able to wander into my room in the middle of the night I would walk her back to her own room, and tucked her back into her bed.

I believe in impleneting the understanding of "mommy & daddy's" bed and "my bed". Early morning suggles are allways ok and if there were ever nighmares, of course kiddo can come in bed for a little while, but after he's settled, it's right back into bed.

 

[FeistyMom]

I've been all over the map with co-sleeping - from being dead set against it, to be absolutely in love with it, to being fairly ambivalent. My first daughter got into a great routine within a few weeks and was happy to sleep in her own bassinette and even would go 5 hours at night by 3 months - that was important because we were exclusively bfing. However, as soon as I started ramping up my time in the office, her sleep issues and feeding issues started showing - she realized very early on that she could refuse the expressed bottles and just wait for mom. Started feeding at least every 3 hours at night... which made co-sleeping a WONDERFUL option. I am a VERY light sleeper, my husband a very heavy sleeper, so I was a bit worried about things in the beginning, but as others have said there are safe ways to co-sleep. I agree fully that it is not for everyone though, and that it must be a family decision that works for all involved.

My second didn't have the same sleep issues, and genuinely preferred her crib to our bed - she would get too wound up in our bed and just want to play with us!

That said, we have an 'open door' policy right now, and frequently wake up with one or both girls with us. The toddler in particular is going through some sleeping issues as she transitioned from her crib a few months ago to a bed (twin trundle bed lowered to the floor). But we definitely do the morning snuggles, and all four of us enjoy it. We're starting to wonder if we'll need to find a way to cram a bigger bed in our room though, now that we'll have 3!

 

[patch2006uk]

My second didn't have the same sleep issues, and genuinely preferred her crib to our bed - she would get too wound up in our bed and just want to play with us!

My LO is like this. If we ever try and bring him into the bed so we can get an extra 30 mins kip, we end up with fingers up our noses, feet in our throats and a squawking baby in our ears. Doesn't really work!

 

[Rach27]

We still co-sleep with our LO and will do until we get him a 'toddler' bed. For us, it just seemed natural and it facilitated breastfeeding (which lasted 16 months).
I would never have done it if I didn't think we could do it safely, however but I have to admit I have found it to be a wonderful experience.

 

[Lulu1982]

It's not for us ... For many reasons. I toss and turn all night so from a safety aspect it's a no. I hav friends who co slept and their 3 year old will still not sleep in his own bed. Myself and OH want our own time, even if that's a sleepy cuddle in bed whilst LO is in her crib. Traansitioning a baby from sleeping in a Moses basket/crib, to sleeping in their own room is much easier than transitioning them from sleeping with you to sleeping alone.x