Co-Sleeping?

[Lissa3120]

Me and My daughter Co-sleep, But never when I'm REALLY tired. But when I put her in her crib she sleeps until about 4am and then wants to be with me, so I bring her in with me, and with in seconds she's gone. So she basically sleeps through the night. But I was on another site and it said that cot death was most common in a parents bed or a sofa whilst co-sleeping. But We've always co-slept, and she (as far as i am aware) is a thriving little baby. I try to take advice from the professionals, and sometimes i see what they mean by bed sharing being unsafe. But i'm a single mum, so i don't share a bed with a partner, and i do it the way my HV advised me to, no pillows, head on my arm or on my chest, and it seems to work for us. My mum doesn't like it, i think because she is concerned by what she has heard and also about settling LO in her own bed/room. But I just love her company and i tend to sleep better WITH her on me.
I just want to know if anyone else Co-sleeps, and if you've had any problems with it. Like could i really be risking the life of my daughter? Because I would get up every minute of every hour just to settle her if that's what it takes to keep her safest, but I was under the impression that as long as you did it safely it was no better or worse for baby as long as it suits you and works for the two of you. Am i wrong?

 

[Hayley90]

"official guidelines" dont recommend it, but frankly, im inclined to say that you do whatever you feel is safest & most comfortable for you and bubs.

Im looking into it at the moment (where people sleep when babies are in bed for example) as bits of it confuse me (no pillows = neck ache surely?!) so im not yet sure if its for me or not, but i cant see an issue with it if done safely.

Sorry im pretty useless aren't i hopefully someone who has a baby can help xx


eta - dont let officials & guides put you off though, SO MANY people do it, and have done for years - just a case of being sensible i guess.... like with everything! thats what i've learned anyway

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

I co sleep and ignore what the "professionals" say. I've read up on doing it safely and I love it I just lie to the HV xx

ETA: I read a statistic that said although they go on about how unsafe cosleeping supposedly is, it actually is only responsible for around 3 infant deaths per year. Which when you look at overall SIDS stats is actually a tiny percentage. The real risk comes if people have been consuming alcohol or drugs and then co sleep xx

 

[Dopeyjopey]

I started co sleeping after I fell asleep feeding Albert. I realised it's so much safer to have prepared the bed and have him in a safe position than fall asleep, him roll off me and end up under the covers. I'm also a single mum and I love that he is the first thing I see when I wake up!

 

[Mellybelle]

It is dangerous to sleep with your baby because you may roll over on them and suffocate them, or pull blanket/pillows over baby's face. I asked my midwife friend how often this really happens, because I co slept with both my babies. She told me she has only ever heard of it happening when the parents have been alcohol/drug affected. AND that she also co slept when her babies wouldnt settle.
So I think that if you are REALLY tired (or alcohol/drug affected), and you think that you may sleep too deeply to be aware that baby is in the bed, put baby in his/her cot.

 

[sahara]

hmmm I really want to co sleep with Leo, I have always been nervous because my Mum lost her first baby to cot death - nothing to do with co sleeping I hasten to add it just plays on my mind cos I am like that.

What is the best way/safest way to co sleep

xxx

 

[princessellie]

we used to co sleep all the time, we dont now because leyla wouldnt actually sleep, shed be too busy wanting to play these days so now she has her own room, but when we did i used to push both pillows right to the sides of the bed, so there was a little space for her in the middle, then put her head up by the headboard so there was no way shed roll down too far, have the covers under my armpits so it didnt go too far up and give her her own blanket, or a sleeping bag as they are not meant to go under your covers, if you have a txmaxx near you they have a sleep nest thingy which you put inbetween the two pillows and it makes them their own little bed

x

 

[Gingerspice]

I believe the professionals now push the co-sleeping as the most likely place for cot eath t occur is because the move from putting babies on front to back significantly decreased the number of deaths. The next thing on the list that deaths occur is co-cleeping; but the deaths for this are mainly when parent(s) are too tired, smoke or drink when co-sleeping s are more likely to be unaware of LO in bed.
As long as you follow the advice about co-sleeping the liklihood is pretty low, but is still the highest risk place in terms of statistcal figures, if that makes sense

 

[Bayleaf]

May I just point out that SIDS is still unexplained and that the deaths occur because the baby is suffocated or squashed which is an explained death and is not classified as SIDS.
This is a good article pointing out that co-sleeping WHEN DONE SAFELY does not put your child more at risk.

https://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2009/oct/16/sudden-infant-death-syndrome-children

 

[irenepc]

I know exactly how you feel! But I found that I never slept quite as deeply when dd was in bed with me. If you are worried, then make sure LO is a good distance away from you. I used to use a separate blanket as well so that I couldn't pull the covers up too high.

And as for not settling in her own bed/room, we used to make sure that for all naps, she was in her own bed. She always went to bed at night in her own bed and if she woke in the night and wouldn't settle, she came in with us. Now that she is older, we are more strict with her staying in her own bed all night but on the odd occasion, she has come in with us (teething!) but loves her own bed and room.

As long as it works for you, then there isn't a problem.