Co-worker & TTC

[snowflakes120]

So, I work directly with another girl and we are somewhat close at work - we don't do anything outside of work. Anyways, she found out she was pregnant last year April but it ended in a MC in May. She kept saying all last year that they planned on TTC again last month, however, she tells me this week that they aren't having sex so we all know what that means. She is 36. She is one of those people that says I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do that but then it never ends up amounting to anything at all.

When she is out of the office I do her work - when I am out of the office she does my work. I am afraid she and I could possibly get preggers at the same time and the office will be a mess without both of us.

We will be TTC in July. Hubby and I have agreed not to tell family or friends about out TTC dates. I don't want this girl to think I am stealing her thunder or making her wait IF I do fall preggers before her because she has been talking about it for so long. But then I can't sit around and wait for her either... I do not want to hurt our kinda friendship.

Do I:
A- Tell about my TTC time of July?
B- Do not tell her about my date and pray for the best?
C- Other - Please explain!

It's such a hard situation... Thanks for reading if you made it this far!!

 

[Twag]

Hi, I can understand your difficultly in this situation but I think you should do what is best for you, if that means not telling her then so be it!
I do not think you should put off your TTC date just in case she does decide they are going to TTC and work should be able to find maternity cover

hope that helps at all x

 

[MummytoSummer]

Hiya,

Personally if it were me in your situation I would just go ahead and ttc when you want. You can't put your life on hold because this girl may or may not decide to ttc herself. And even if she does decide to and you both end up pregnant, so what? It's not for you or her to worry about, any employer that employs women (especially women of child bearing age) must be aware that they may fall pregnant and require leave. It's up to your employer to worry about that. I'm sure it wouldn't be that much hassle to bring in a temp before you were due to go off on leave so you and her could train the temp up before you go.

And I wouldn't tell your colleague your plans either. If you aren't telling family in friends you certainly don't owe it to her to tell her your plans.

I'd say just go ahead when you're ready and see what happens!

Good luck!

X

 

[~chipper~]

I agree with MummytoSummer

best of luck!!

 

[Thistledown]

I wouldn't tell her just because she might decided to TTC. Really, even if she was actively TTC, that's still no reason to put your own life on hold! Heck, personally I'd be worried if you did tell her, it might make her more motivated to get on with TTC to try and fall pregnant before you start TTCing!

As far as keeping things friendly between you at work, if you do fall pregnant before she does you could always tell her a little white lie and say you were NTNP and it just happened. Since you don't hang out outside of work, she'll never know any different.

 

[odd_socks]

Hi, I can understand your difficultly in this situation but I think you should do what is best for you, if that means not telling her then so be it!
I do not think you should put off your TTC date just in case she does decide they are going to TTC and work should be able to find maternity cover

hope that helps at all x

i would say exactly the same, no way should u put off ur TTC date, the company would have to find cover if u were both out x

 

[notjustyet]

I'd say it doesn't matter one bit if you TTC, or if she's TTC. If you do both end up pregnant at the same time then it may even be good for your friendship - you'll have someone to share it all with!

The work issue is not your problem at all, don't give it a second thought. Just do what you feel is right and see what happens.

As a side note, my manager is going through IVF at the moment. She knows I am also TTC and another colleague will be TTC pretty soon too. There are hundreds of people ready, willing and able to cover maternity leave (it's only 1 year at the most after all).

 

[snowflakes120]

Oh, I totally would NEVER ever change my TTC date of July!! I would never have someone hold me back from my dreams!!

I just didn't know if I should I tell her! Thanks so much for the responses and helping me out!! Hubby said no and y'all say no so that means it's our little secret!! shhhhhhhh!! We feel it is no ones business regarding TTC but ours anyways. But I don't mind telling y'all on this board though!! A girls gotta have someone to talk to anyways!!

 

[hannab]

dont let her or work affect what you want to do. if you wait for her to get pregnant it might never happen. go for it!

 

[Aprilshowers]

I would just do your own thing and TTC. She is a different person and has a different life and it is important to follow your own plan so if you fall pregnant first then so be it. good Luck!

 

[cleckner04]

I agree I definitely wouldn't tell her. None of her business. TTC can be stressful and tricky at times so you wouldn't want it to become some sort of rivalry either IYKWIM.

 

[beccad]

In all honesty, I wouldn't worry about what someone else was or wasn't going to do. It's your life, your child. Don't put something like that on hold because you're worried about what someone else might think. Presumably you're not planning to TTC just to annoy her?

 

[Button#]

I'm a bit worried about this as two of the women at work have moved to bigger houses recently and although they've not said a word about TTC and have denied it when people have been joking about it it's still in the back of my mind that I hope they don't announce they're pregnant before I do so I'm not the awkward one!