concerned about nephew... autism? *update*

[littlestar85]

Hi everyone,

I have a nephew who I have been worried about for a while but I feel like it's not my place to question his development IYKWIM...

He's 3 years old this month and his speech is very bizarre. It's high-pitched with very varied intonation half the time and the other half he whispers. He repeats the same phrases over and over all day long regardless of what you ask him. He is OBSESSED with cars. His first word was car, all he plays with is cars, all he talks about is cars. If you ask a non-car-related question he'll ignore it and talk about cars - always repeating the same phrase in the same tone and pitch e.g 'the maaan is driving the caaar... The maaan is driving the caaar...' If you get distracted he gets angry and shouts 'loooook! The man is driving the car' ... This can go on for 15mins even if you're asking 'how's Mum? What did u have for tea etc.'

He's still spoon fed every meal, he's still in nappies - he was potty trained at 1.5-2 but regressed back into nappies.

When he gets upset he has severe melt downs for sometimes 30 mins on end

He doesn't make eye contact, is socially very awkward and uncomfortable and incredibly vicious and antisocial around other children.

There's more of these things but can't recall them all right now. It's troubling me cos I know autism is more manageable when caught younger, but a) am I worrying over nothing and b) if I'm not, how do I approach the subject with SIL who is VERY sensitive to criticism of her kids

Thanks

X

 

[JASMAK]

I think you have every right to be concerned...and i would bring it up with his parents. it might not go over well...i know i was very angry when my sister brought it up with me, but she persisted and gave me pamphlets. soon, i was doing my own research, but i could only handle so much at a time...it's very scary. have patience and be there for them...but be persistant, maybe offer to go to some appointments.

 

[littlestar85]

Thank you Jasmak, reallly appreciate your reply. I guess there is no easy way to say it is there. Getting some pamphlets is a good idea, maybe I could say I read something about autism recently which worried me as many of the behaviour traits sounded like things their LO has and that maybe I'm totally wrong but thought I'd give them the pamphlets just in case as it's important to spot or rule out these things early.

 

[JASMAK]

Yeah, get some pamphlets, and I remember my sister would say....gee, I am worried about Makena because ______. She wouldn't give me a list, just maybe one thing. And she would say SHE was worried...she did really good actually. I actually first got Makena assessed to SHOW my sister that she was wrong...she wasn't of course.

 

[LoveleeB]

Hi Littlestar85

As a mom going through the process of trying to get a diagnosis, I know how much I would appreciate a friend or relative coming to me to try to help. Maybe your SIL has concerns but doesn't know where to turn? I think Jasmak is right, maybe just bring up one thing and see how your sister reacts, she may really need someone to talk to. Good luck, your SIL and nephew are very lucky to have someone who cares so much.

 

[littlestar85]

Thanks Lovelee B I do really care and it has been troubling me for a while.

I saw SIL today and she actually told me she's worried about his behaviour around people and other kids at playgroup. She said he gets aggressive and shouts 'leave me alone' whenever any other child tries to play with him or another adult gets close. She's worried about the severity of his tantrums too. I hadn't gotten around to getting any leaflets yet but I did suggest seeing the GP. She looked a bit worried and said she doesn't think it's anything serious so I said I'm sure it's not but it's worth seeing the GP to a) either put her mind at rest or b) get an answer as behavioural problems are best caught early - which she did agree with.

I think this has opened the door for me to bring up various autism symptoms with her now as rather than doing it out the blue it can be in response to what she was saying to me IYKWIM.

x

 

[JASMAK]

glad to hear, it's a start.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Hi, it is so hard. I struggle with my sister and my niece. xx