"Congratulations! Was it planned?"

[Leliana]

I've had a few people ask me this with my second pregnancy and then ask me to remind them how old my daughter is! Even if my DS wasn't planned - does it matter? He was very much planned but even if he had been a happy surprise I would love him just as fiercely!

 

[sue_88]

I got ' aww was it a surprise ?'

My answer: yes, it was a surprise, we've been trying for 2 and a half years with no luck and we're going to starts fertility treatment, conceiving naturally was a massive surprise!

So bloody rude, why do you need to know!!!! Grrr

 

[LoveCakes]

I got ' aww was it a surprise ?'

My answer: yes, it was a surprise, we've been trying for 2 and a half years with no luck and we're going to starts fertility treatment, conceiving naturally was a massive surprise!

So bloody rude, why do you need to know!!!! Grrr

That's how I feel. We were told to write off that cycle and after that would have to give up on clomid so while very planned I think we were more surprised than anyone else

 

[HoneyBee144]

I got asked loads of times last time, even by people I'd never met before.

This time, it was the first question MIL asked. I tried not to be offended because I know she doesn't mean any harm but I was a little hurt that she clearly thinks we're a bit irresponsible or something, or not in the right place for a baby. She was very happy for us though so I let it go.

I had exactly the same! Pretty much the first thing my MIL said, she's really excited and has a heart of gold but just doesn't engage her brain before her mouth!

I hate the question, I think it's so rude and was genuinely shocked when people asked me when I was pregnant with DS. I was half expecting someone to ask if DH was the father

 

[emyandpotato]

Some friends asked me but it didn't bother me at all. I'd be upset if it was asked a sort of 'well it shouldn't have been planned' kind of way, or by a relative stranger.

 

[Amy92x]

I wouldn't mind if the person genuinely didn't know if it was planned or not, but when I was pregnant with Chloe everybody knew it wasn't and STILL asked. To say it p***** me off would be an understatement.

I've decided that next time, whether it is planned or not, I'm going to say "yes!" just to irritate the people trying to have a dig.

 

[babycrazy1706]

Omg its so fkn rude!

 

[Caite]

I hate the question, I think it's so rude and was genuinely shocked when people asked me when I was pregnant with DS. I was half expecting someone to ask if DH was the father

I've just finished my midwifery training, and a couple of the questions my Trust ask at booking are was it planned (probably more to do with folic acid etc.) and is the partner the baby's dad. I always felt uncomfortable asking that question.

 

[babyv13]

I got ' aww was it a surprise ?'

My answer: yes, it was a surprise, we've been trying for 2 and a half years with no luck and we're going to starts fertility treatment, conceiving naturally was a massive surprise!

that was always pretty much my answer too!

I've got to say though, it depended on who was asking as to whether I thought it was rude! a stranger or someone in work I don't know = rude, a friend (though the majority knew we were LTTTC) = not rude. I've asked some people as well but only friends and not in a rude way. or at least I hope not

 

[Leliana]

I hate the question, I think it's so rude and was genuinely shocked when people asked me when I was pregnant with DS. I was half expecting someone to ask if DH was the father

I've just finished my midwifery training, and a couple of the questions my Trust ask at booking are was it planned (probably more to do with folic acid etc.) and is the partner the baby's dad. I always felt uncomfortable asking that question.

Although I still think the most awkward question is 'Are you and the father blood related?'

 

[Amy92x]

I hate the question, I think it's so rude and was genuinely shocked when people asked me when I was pregnant with DS. I was half expecting someone to ask if DH was the father

I've just finished my midwifery training, and a couple of the questions my Trust ask at booking are was it planned (probably more to do with folic acid etc.) and is the partner the baby's dad. I always felt uncomfortable asking that question.

Although I still think the most awkward question is 'Are you and the father blood related?'

Seriously!? Wow...

 

[maisie78]

I got this a lot with our dd. But even better than that one I had a male colleague at work say 'ooh I've heard you've been naughty!' What???!!! I was 33 at the time, a manager in the organisation and had been with my OH for 12 years which I pointed out to him. I couldn't believe the cheek!

This time it was Fil that asked Oh if it was planned but then they have issues with us having another because dd is disabled and so couldn't believe it could be anything but an accident. We haven't gone public yet so I will wait to see if people ask us again.

 

[Baby Bell]

Omg I got asked this over fb by my oh ex!!! When I didn't reply she sent an fb private message to my mum and sister saying I was evil and had trapped my oh by getting pregnant intentionally I would never do that, our pregnancy was a surprise but we were both grown ups (i was 27 he was 29) and it takes two to tango. Anyway she decided I had something to hide because I refused to answer her question stupid psycho lady! I'd never even met the girl before

 

[MamaTex]

I have always found that question so incredibly tacky. If they ask that, they might as well get an earful of my bedroom activities as well because I consider it nosy.

 

[Jes.shortcake]

I got asked that A LOT. Me and OH were together over 5 years..why is it so hard to believe we planned to have LO?

People act like its unheard of to have babies on purpose these days

 

[HBGirl]

I got asked:

Was it planned
How long did you try for
Are you having natural
Will you breastfeed

All quite personal

Now that she is here I get asked the sfrangest one ever, do you love her. Uuuuuuhhhhhhh. She is my daughter, she is bloody marvellous!

 

[hayz_baby]

I got asked:

Was it planned
How long did you try for
Are you having natural
Will you breastfeed

All quite personal

Now that she is here I get asked the sfrangest one ever, do you love her. Uuuuuuhhhhhhh. She is my daughter, she is bloody marvellous!

Do you love her? Wow!

"Nope I only put up with her coz I have too"

 

[Leliana]

I hate the question, I think it's so rude and was genuinely shocked when people asked me when I was pregnant with DS. I was half expecting someone to ask if DH was the father

I've just finished my midwifery training, and a couple of the questions my Trust ask at booking are was it planned (probably more to do with folic acid etc.) and is the partner the baby's dad. I always felt uncomfortable asking that question.

Although I still think the most awkward question is 'Are you and the father blood related?'

Seriously!? Wow...

Seriously! It's actually in our notes and they ask at the booking in appointment. They always look sooo uncomfortable asking but I'm guessing it's in case it's to do with genetic diseases etc. Very awkward!!

 

[CrazyDogLady]

Some friends asked me but it didn't bother me at all. I'd be upset if it was asked a sort of 'well it shouldn't have been planned' kind of way, or by a relative stranger.

Same here. I had a few people ask and I didn't mind, although it was never asked in a rude way, they were just interested.

We were TTC for a while and eventually went through IVF, so I usually replied with "yes, very"!

What did annoy me was when we were TTC everyone would ask when we were going to have a baby, but it was obviously a very sensitive subject at the time.

 

[Noodlebear]

Some friends asked me but it didn't bother me at all. I'd be upset if it was asked a sort of 'well it shouldn't have been planned' kind of way, or by a relative stranger.

This. A few friends asked and I didn't really mind too much but some people who barely even know me did and I found that really infuriating. I was pregnant at 19 so most said it in a way I found to be really condescending, like they already knew the answer.

It makes sense that midwives would ask though.

I did have someone ask if my OH was the father, I honestly nearly ripped their head off.