"Congratulations! Was it planned?"

[Lau88]

When i had dd i had the following convo with a nurse in hdu.

"is that baby's dad"
"yea that's my partner"
"are you Jewish?"
"no we aren't"
"...are you brother and sister"
"erm no of course not!"
"oh ok, you both have dark hair"

apparently this is reason to assume we were incestuous Jewish people


question i was asked most though was "are you still with the dad?" how is that anyone's business. My oh got asked the same question too. God knows what will be said when people find out we're nearly 25weeks through another pregnancy.

 

[Noodlebear]

Oh god!! How cringe-worthily out of order!!

One of the midwives looking after us actually waited until my OH was showing his mum and brother out before coming over and going 'I didn't want to say anything while they were all here but doesn't your baby look like that man!' Meaning OH's brother

 

[Lau88]

Lol maybe she was waiting for a sneaky affair confession these people are crazy.

 

[MoonLove]

"...are you brother and sister"

 

[Noodlebear]

I keep thinking about what she said to you.... I just don't get why she asked if you were Jewish....

 

[Lau88]

Clearly i look the type to be Jewish...and into my brother lol.


i don't live in what anyone would class as a "Jewish area" i don't even know how she qualified tbh, she was trying to do an ecg and wrapped the wires around my neck, then told me to get some sleep. Think she was trying to bump me off.

 

[Noodlebear]

You must've been REALLY annoying

 

[Lau88]

Well i do try

just hope i don't give off the vibe next time i give birth, although next time im hoping to not almost die and end up in hdu...

 

[Noodlebear]

Yeah tbh I'd focus more on that than not being annoying if I were you lol.

 

[misspriss]

The Jewish question is about tay-sachs risk, if you are both Jewish there is a higher risk. Although there is also a risk if you are Cajun or French-Canadian, although I guess they'd only ask that if you lived there? I don't know. But anyway, I see why they ask it, that's all!

 

[Lau88]

It was asked more in conversation than a medical question. She thought dark hair meant Jewish, which seemed silly to ask when she had my notes with c of e on the 2nd page. I guess it could of been about tay sachs but from the way she said it it didn't seem like it.

 

[Snow Owl]

This time when we told a few of our closest friends they said 'and this is a good thing... Right...?' As we'd made it quite clear we didn't plan to have No. 2 for a while plus the look on our face probably gave it away (shock / horror) lol.

Other than that no one was allowed to ask!!

I told my mum about an hour after taking the test when I was still in 'we can't do this!!!!' mode. Her instant reply was 'that's amazing!! No wait, your crying, what's wrong?? Come here!' And I completely broke down. Lol

 

[Snow Owl]

Ooh I do get a lot of 'are you and dad still together?' As we're not married and my surname is different to LO. Yes we're just NOT MARRIED!!!

The worst one was our health visitor who got properly confused that my surname isn't the same and then was so pleasantly surprised that me and dad we're together! Then she found out I was pregnant again and instantly asked 'so is dad the same?'.

Head, Palm....

 

[kealz]

Then she found out I was pregnant again and instantly asked 'so is dad the same?'.

That is so rude!!!

 

[kealz]

When I was pg, I was asked...

Are you happy about it?
Is it congratulations?
Was it planned?

Not family and friends either but work colleagues! Ds was very much planned but that's beside the point, it upset me when I was asked - a baby is a blessing and the sheer fact that i'm sharing the news should equal nothing but warm thoughts and congrats. I mean, if I wanted a heart to heart about an unplanned pregnancy, I wouldn't choose nosy colleagues!

 

[pinkstarbinks]

Haha I'm dreading getting asked this it's such a personal thing, family & friends know & reacted nicely: We have some acquaintances who will absolutely ask this as they did with ds2. Hence not telling them, but my tummy isn't getting any smaller so they will soon chime in about the subject.

 

[MrsVenn]

Every single colleague at work has asked me this question.. some I've said yes to, some I haven't. My view is they can then all gossip and get their stories muddled which they would have done anyway. My response is irrelevant to most. It is bloody rude and pisses me off as much as "you've gained all over, it's a girl" I'm having a boy and gained 4kg.. people take the piss.

 

[DanielleM]

I'm going to go against the grain here, I was asked a few times with Jacob and it didn't bother me in the slightest. I have also asked people too, family and friends. I wouldn't ask a complete stranger though.