Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[snagglepat]

Hi Tammy,

Yep, sounds similar. We were really nervous about looking online for a donor but it was our only option and it has worked out so well. We placed our own ad and had 8 responses. Six of them went straight into the bin as weirdo/not suitable but two were possibilities. We met with both of them at which point one just shone out and he has been fantastic. Hugely committed to us yet happy to stick to his word about remaining uninvolved in the parenting process. And he helped make once super cute baby too.

He showed us certificates from his sexual health screen and it was part of our agreement that he get retested every 3 months, which he did. Once we'd known him for a bit we developed sufficient trust in him to be really comfortable in this. This time I haven't even asked to see certificates. I probably should and maybe I will now you've made me think of it, but that trust is so secure now that it actually hadn't occurred to me until this conversation.

Good luck next month! Maybe we'll both get lucky and can have our rainbow number twos at the same time.

Enrisa, I'm 30. I was 28 when I got pregnant with our daughter. However, we tried with my partner for our first 12 cycles and she was 36-38 in that time. She got pregnant once, but unfortunately miscarried. I have several friends who have got pregnant this way in their late 30s though, so it can be done. 35 really isn't that old.

Gina. x

 

[enrisa]

Gina, thanks for your support. Period came today, so I´m feeling low.
Glad to hear you have friends who got pregnant this way in their late thirties. Gives me hope.

Do you use softcups? And your friends?

Congratulations for finding a good donor online x

Tammy, are you going to search online?

xx

 

[RubyRainbows]

Aww... Enrisa, so sorry to hear that AF arrived! Such a nasty prank she pulled by being late! I hope next cycle will be your lucky one! And i def agree... 35 isn't old! I know of many moms who concieved later in life... and you will too!

As far as looking for a donor online... i am hoping and praying my next attempt is successful......... if it is not, yes, i will def start looking online!

 

[GardenPath]

I am pregnant with donor sperm. My husband and I ttc for 14 months before getting him a semen analysis and discovering that he is infertile. In that time I was charting and temping- using fertility friend, and I highly recommend doing so. It is so worth it to know exactly when you ovulate for the timing of at home insemination.
so- the first two cycles we did at home insemination from frozen sperm from a sperm bank, it didn't work. The third cycle did yay!!!

I think because we got the timing right that time. I knew when I ovulated because I had been charting for many months- and I inseminated- I think 18, 24 and 48 hours after getting my first positive opk. I think it was important to do the three insems and I think either the 24 or 48 hours one worked. I think sometimes people inseminate too close to their + opk. Best of luck to you! Oh- and I am 36.
Also- I did use those cup things (are they called instead cups?) the cycle we got pregnant- I don't know if that helped or not! Maybe.

 

[Tegans Mama]

Hello ladies
How is everyone? I am feeling a bit.. well.. dodgy! We are not ttc yet (next month) and its totally not related but I'm so tired, yet I can't seem to sleep. not good.

 

[RubyRainbows]

Yayy GardenPath... Congrats on your ! That is such wonderful news!!!!! Gives me hope that this method can (and will!) work! Do you know what you're having yet? Any names picked out?? Our frozen sperm arrived yesterday... just waiting on the OPK smiley face!! We have two vials, so will be trying twice this cycle! Fingers crossed!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello Hr - I have been having trouble sleeping too!!!!! I actually left work a bit early yesterday just to take a nap!! This BnB site keeps me occupied late at night when i can't sleep!!

 

[snagglepat]

Oooh, exciting times Tammy. How long will it 'keep' in the container? Frozen sperm at home feels like a totally alien concept to me, the thought of having it sitting there in the corner just waiting seems bizarre. It must fill you with anticipation and itchy fingers to get going. Roll on the smiley face!

Enrisa, I've never used softcups. I'm empted to get some for next cycle if this one doesn't work because it always feels as though quite a lot 'escapes' when we take the syringe out and I know others that swear by them. It makes sense that it might help. At the very least it can't hurt can it?

Hr, I'm having sleep issues too. I remember I used to have them when we were TTC last time, particularly during the 2ww. I guess we're all just a bit hyped up for this and it's keeping our brains active when they should be snoozing. I suppose it's good practice for when the little ones do come along...

Best wishes to all,

Gina.

 

[enrisa]

Garden Path, thanks for your post. It gives me hope!! I´m 35, and trying at home insem. with my boyfriend´s sperm. I´m definitely going to try the instead cups. But, I did the timing right last cycle, and not preg... I was temping and opk, and it was very clear when I ov, however it didn´t happen...

Your third cycle, when it worked, did you use fresh or frozen sperm?

xxx

 

[enrisa]

Tammy, good luck with this try

 

[GardenPath]

enrisa we used frozen sperm each of the three cycles, including the one that worked. For the first cycle we used "washed " (iui type) sperm and the second and third unwashed.
I think what helped make it work is two things-
One, I think the instead cup helped. It felt awkward and messy and I wasn't even sure if things were dripping out, but at least it helped keep the sperm up there or something. also, I think the first two cycles we inseminated too early. I thin ki twas like- 6 and 18 hours after my +opk, becauseI was waiting so long and there was this frozen sperm tank in the basement that when I got my +opk I was like- let's do this! but by the third try- I was like- okay, we HAVE to wait! I had gotten advice (online) from others about this- to wait until at least 24 hours after the +opk or better 36 or 48 hours.

Tammy- the above advice was for you too. What timing are you planning to do for your inseminations?

Also- on another forum I am on I just got a message from a woman who just had a baby from donor sperm and she said he is perfect and beautiful and healthy! Yay. So that made me feel good.

Great luck to all of you!

 

[Naaxi]

This is an interesting idea, I shall have to think of at home insem. for us, seeing as my man had a vasectomy 13 years ago and refuses to reverse but is okay with using a donor. I just wanted to thank you for posting a thread about this And many a for you!

 

[enrisa]

Thanks Garden Path.

You know, in my last cycle, I got first +opk on a Wednesday, and a high raise temp on Thursday, so I did ov on Wednesday. However, on Tuesday and days before I got all -opk. Mmm...

How come did I get -opk Tuesday and before? Maybe I didn´t do it right. The best way is to wait 4 hours without going to the toilet or drinking any fluids before testing. And not to do it in the morning.

 

[GardenPath]

Thanks Garden Path.

You know, in my last cycle, I got first +opk on a Wednesday, and a high raise temp on Thursday, so I did ov on Wednesday. However, on Tuesday and days before I got all -opk. Mmm...

How come did I get -opk Tuesday and before? Maybe I didn´t do it right. The best way is to wait 4 hours without going to the toilet or drinking any fluids before testing. And not to do it in the morning.

yeah, I guess everyone is differnet. It is quite likely to ovulate 24 hours past your + opk but I think more common 36 or 48. I don't really know! that is also why we did 3 inseminations- so I could cover the 18, 36 and 48 hour ranges.

Why are you doing insemination if you are using your boyfriend's sperm?

 

[RubyRainbows]

This is an interesting idea, I shall have to think of at home insem. for us, seeing as my man had a vasectomy 13 years ago and refuses to reverse but is okay with using a donor. I just wanted to thank you for posting a thread about this And many a for you!

Thanks Naaxi! And welcome! Good luck on your TTC journey!!

 

[enrisa]

Garden Path, because he has trouble ejaculating during intercourse, but not when masturbating. Weird, I know. I have found a couple of cases like that in this forum though.

 

[Edensmum]

Hi ladies, I found your link through a random Google search and had to sign up.

I'm on my second cycle of TTC through donor sperm. I found the guy online. I met 4 men in total and chatted with about 20, so I'm happy to have found someone I'm comfortable with. We are going about things in more of a co-parenting fashion he will visit fortnightly and be named on the birth certificate.

I already have a daughter who will be 2 on the 29th of October. She was born through the more 'traditional' route and sees her Dad (my ex) every Sunday. For this reason it was important to me to pick a donor who wanted some involvement as I didn't like the idea of having one child who knew her Dad and another who didn't.

The donor has an older wife who already has 4 grownup children and 3 grandsons, he doesn't have any children. He felt it was important to have a child of his own, and wanted some contact and to be able to help financially. He has a life of his own and there is quite a geographical distance between them and me, so I do believe they will be stepping on my toes. I met them both a few times before we went ahead with things, and made my beliefs/hopes/expectations very clear.

I should ov tomorrow (Saturday) we tried on Thursday and will try tomorrow, even though he is in town Thursday, Friday and Saturday we have been trying every other day rather than every day to ensure a better sample? I would love your opinions on this, there seems to be quite a bit of conflicting information. He has agreed to do 6 cycles (not December due to festive chaos) which initially I felt disappointed that he didn't want to try for longer. I suppose if we are compatible 6 months should be enough... I got pregnant with my Daughter very quickly (we were not really TTC, just being rather careless) I'm only 23 so hope that things will work out. He has showed me both his health screening certificate and also his sperm motility so on paper things should work.

Fingers crossed for this cycle I’m looking forward to chatting to you all, good to share with those in the same boat.
Kirsty –x-

 

[RubyRainbows]

Hi Kirsty! I'm glad you joined! I will be inseminating tomorrow too! Hopefully we both will have ' s in two weeks!!! Your donor sounds perfect! How did you find him online? Did you post something? I would love more info! From what i have read, since there are no fertility problems on your end or his end, producing sperm everyday (rather than every other)... should be fine! I think that would increase your chances!

I am lost here! My frozen sperm can only stay frozen for 5 - 7 days but i can't get a damn positive on my OPK!!!!! Tomorrow (saturday) is day 6.... and the clinic really only guarantees it will stay frozen 5 days!!!!! Ugh. Why is this happening?! I need to inseminate tomorrow with or without the pos OPK bc i just cant wait any longer. Tomorrow is cycle day 20 for me! Grrrr!

 

[GardenPath]

Tammy- why does the sperm only stay frozen 5 or 6 days? Is it in a liquid nitrogen tank? All I can say is I feel for you! I know what it is like. Trying to time your ovulation perfectly with the stress of the frozen sperm. For us, the first cycle we did it I was so freaked out that the sperm would thaw that I went to a welding shop and had more liquid nitrogen put in! then I ovulated like 12 days late or something from the stress. Do you know when you ovulate?My normal ovulation is around cycle day 23 and that first cycle it was like 38 or something.
Then the next cycle- same stress. The third cycle maybe I timed it better and the sperm actually do stay frozen longer than the guarantee. But, best of luck to you. I just want you to know I, and many people who have done frozen sperm inseminations, understand.

 

[RubyRainbows]

Thank you Garden Path your post just brought tears to my eyes. I feel like i screwed everything up this cycle! I have gotten my positive OPK's on cycle day 19 or 20 the past few months... but my cycle was 33 days. This month i got my period on cycle day 28 so i thought i might Ov early... so i had the sperm arrive on Tuesday (CD 16) just in case. But NO POSITIVE OPK!!! The fertility clinic said the nitrogen tank could stay frozen 5 - 7 days but they don't recommend going past 5 days. Yesterday (friday) was the 5th day. I checked it last night and it was still very frozen. So i set my alarm for this morning at 5am... woke up to check my OPK and still a surge but not a complete positive. Before going back to sleep, i checked the tank...................... and it was no longer cold inside!!!!!!!!

I didn't know what to do! The two vials cost me $1200! And i have no more money to order any more right now....... so this was our last chance until at least the spring (unless i can find a suitable free donor online!)

We injected BOTH vials right then and there bc they were not yet completely thawed....... i hope that was still ok????????

What a mess. We injected two partially thawed vials before i even got my positive OPK. Such a disaster!

I should have found a place to get the nitrogen refilled like you did!!

Your post gave me hope though... that this method CAN work...... it's just super expensive and the timing has to be just right!!!!

 

[GardenPath]

awwww . . Tammy that totally sucks. I know- it is really expensive. We did 2 vials on the first 2 cycles and three on the one that worked.

I was on a lesbian parenting forum during the process because the women there had a lot of experience with donor insemination, which is how I learned to go to a welding place, but that wasn't fun either!
I know- you have to get okay with spending the money until it works.
I learned that some sperm banks can give you a two week tank- so we did that, which was much less stressful. Because, of course the stress makes the ovulation delayed sometimes.
So if this cycle doesn't work ( and it might ) I would recommend finding a sperm bank for the next cycle that had a two week tank. Also- charting (use fertility friend) so you can pinpoint your ovulation was essential for me. Then you know 100% sure when you ovulated. And also- if you do have the luxury of three vials- it is one more shot and may save money in the long run.
I know how you feel though. Believe me. I ttc for 14 months before I even knew my husband was infertile. Then it took months to sort out the donor sperm thing, then 3 long cycles of trying- believe me this baby I am growing is very long awaited.
Hang in there. Just keep trying. It does work