Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[RubyRainbows]

I think the ones we have used are 5ml too. Not sure though... OH does the inseminating... my job is to keep the soup in the bowl! However, i didn't make a baby this time!! The evil got me!!! I tested on Tuesday morning and it was a and then arrived today!!!!!!

I am really not keen about the idea of finding a donor online but i guess that is my only alternative. I can not afford to get more frozen sperm... if i had gotten pregnant it would have been well worth the $3000 we have spend so far, but i am pissed at the thought of spending all that money and still no baby! I hate to look at it that way... but money is tight for us... and i can't help but thinking i could have used that money to take my son to Disney World which would have been a once in a lifetime opportunity!

Sorry i'm rambling... i just feel so gutted.

Good luck girls... i'm hoping to hear some better news from one of you!

PS. I had the same fear of poking my cervix with the syringe!! LOL

 

[bek74]

I think the ones we have used are 5ml too. Not sure though... OH does the inseminating... my job is to keep the soup in the bowl! However, i didn't make a baby this time!! The evil got me!!! I tested on Tuesday morning and it was a and then arrived today!!!!!!

I am really not keen about the idea of finding a donor online but i guess that is my only alternative. I can not afford to get more frozen sperm... if i had gotten pregnant it would have been well worth the $3000 we have spend so far, but i am pissed at the thought of spending all that money and still no baby! I hate to look at it that way... but money is tight for us... and i can't help but thinking i could have used that money to take my son to Disney World which would have been a once in a lifetime opportunity!

Sorry i'm rambling... i just feel so gutted.

Good luck girls... i'm hoping to hear some better news from one of you!

PS. I had the same fear of poking my cervix with the syringe!! LOL

Oh honey, I am so sorry the witch got you again

I would definitly be looking for an online donor. As to the money spent, I know what you mean, it is alot of money to gamble with and when you do and you don't win, it hurts and it is frustrating.

Babe, I sure I hope you find a nice donor and you get your BFP soon

 

[snagglepat]

Tammy, I'm really sorry to hear about your BFN, and then AF. It's not fun, especially as you're now going to have to go through the process of walking a different TTC path. As someone who found their donor online I can appreciate how unappealing it is initially, but it couldn't have worked out better for us in the end. It will feel good again once you've found the right man, the excitement will come back and you'll be raring to go. I promise.

BFN here yesterday. Still no AF, I'm due today or tomorrow but I'm not hopeful.

Best wishes all round,

Gina. x

 

[Edensmum]

I've just got a message off my donor, and I'm really miffed. We live quite a distance away and for the last 2 cycled he has travelled down, once by train and once driving. We have then ttc every other day. This means essentially he travels Monday, we ttc, he stays in a B&B Monday night. We meet on the tuesday in a friendly capasity, he stays at the B&B Tuesday night. Then on the Wednesday we ttc and he travels back home.

Now obviously this has cost implications to him, but they are comparible to what he would spend when he comes down to visit the child and that is planned to be on a fortnightly basis, plus he has intentions of making a financial payment to me on a monthly basis.

So his current costs are aprox £150 based on what he has told me. If we were to conceive once the baby is born this would technically increase to aprox £425 based on 2x visits per month staying 2 nights in a B&B, plus the £125 child support we have discussed. All of the visiting, finances have been discussed quite extensively, with most of the ideas coming from him.

So why have I now got an e-mail that basically states, because of high costs next cycle he will only come down for one day to ttc and will travel back the same day. He has also said that from January we should alternate him coming up to Manchester, then the next month me going down to Oxford. Surely it's ok for me to feel disapointed by this. I don't want to drag Eden down to Oxford even every other month. I'm also in a wheelchair (sorry I haven't mentioned this earlier) so traveling though perfectly possible is somewhat more of a strain for myself with great complications arising from switching trains in an area of the country I am unfamiliar with. The journey is almost 4 hours, and this simply isn't practicle with a 2 year old. I visit my family in Wales every few months and the train journey is a little over 2 hours, this is complicated enough doing 2 hours on top of that seems like a nightmare.

I am so surprised this e-mail has come from nowhere, and shows a sudden lack of comittment from his side that I just wasn't expecting. If he had have mentioned these concerns or made a similar request before we started ttc I am pretty sure I wouldn't have gone forward with him.

Oh what a bother, it sheds a dark light that I am not happy with, and I don't even know if this cycle has worked yet! Hmmmmm.

 

[RubyRainbows]

Thanks once again for all your encouragement and support girls... it means so much!

Gina - Keeping my fingers crossed that you get your ! You're not out until arrives! Think positively!

I posted an ad on a website looking for a sperm donor... and i got three responses: 1. was very brief with no info on the guy 2. was from an african american man (which would be fine except me, my son, and my OH are all white and i would prefer the baby to be white also) and 3. was from a pervert who wrote perverted things! And then i got an email from the website saying my posting was flagged for deletion due to inappropriate content!!!!! Grrrrr! Granted it wasn't a site for "sperm donors" but it was a personals site!

Edensmummy - Sorry to hear about the complications you are having with your donor! That must be so frustrating! Hopefully you are already preggo and wont have to worry about transportation issues in the months ahead! Lots of for you!

 

[RubyRainbows]

I just found out my brother and his GF are expecting baby #1!!!!!!! They are due July 1st, which is around the time i would have been due if i had caught my little firefly this last cycle! It would have been so wonderful to have babies at the same time! Sigh. But it just wasn't meant to be..........! I am so happy for him, though! He is 35 and i know he has wanted this for a very long time!

 

[bek74]

I just found out my brother and his GF are expecting baby #1!!!!!!! They are due July 1st, which is around the time i would have been due if i had caught my little firefly this last cycle! It would have been so wonderful to have babies at the same time! Sigh. But it just wasn't meant to be..........! I am so happy for him, though! He is 35 and i know he has wanted this for a very long time!

I know it is hard when other concieve and your trying so hard yourself. However that is just wonderful news, your going to be an Aunt wishing his wife a happy and healthy 9mths

 

[Edensmum]

Hi Tammy,

Jayden will have a little cousin as well. That will be really nice for him My cousin is more like a brother we spent so much time together as children. Goodluck to your brother and his girlfriend.

When you find the right donor you may only be due a few months after your brothers child is born. Lot's of nice hand me downs and you'll be able to compare notes.

Have you found another website yet hun? The 2 sites I used (still can't post the links but will as soon as I'm allowed :s are both very good. Have you been able to find them using poodle?!?

Goodluck hun. -x-
p.s. Going to test tomorrow as due on tomorrow. I only have cheapo tests but they do say suitable for early testing so....


Kirsty & Eden -x-

 

[Edensmum]

Didn't need to test witch got me today

So now I just have to fire my current donor and get back to the profile pages, the delay is unfortunate and means that Eden will probably be 3 before number 2 arrives. Hmmm. Will keep you updated anyway. All the best to you all.

Kirsty -x-

 

[Edensmum]

Hoping I can now post links.... Fingers crossed....

https://www.free-sperm-donations.com
or
https://www.conceptiondirect.com

I've not joined these ones (I think :s ) but for a basic sperm donor role I think they may be suitable for you Tammy.

The two I'm a member of are
www.co-Parents.net
and
www.co-parentmatch.com

Both of these have american donors/co-parents on them but out of the two I believe there are more americans on the .com site.

I've struck up conversations with two new guys and have sent messages to a few others. So hopefully the right one is out there.

Kirsty-x-

 

[RubyRainbows]

Thank you Kirsty! I will def check out those sites. The personals site i posted on wasn't the best idea... i got one response that seemed very promising and then after 30 minutes of talking, he asked if he could watch the insemination!! When i said no, he stopped talking to me!

I am so sorry to hear that the got you! Hang in there... Eden will be a big sister very soon!!!

I am so excited that my brother will finally be a daddy! This is such wonderful news for my family! Over the years, our family has gotten smaller and smaller... and it's time new babies start creating the next generation! My brother has wanted this for so long! I only have one sibling, so i am so happy that my son will have a cousin to grow up with... and holidays will be more fun for him to have a playmate to share in the festivities with him!

I feel i should put my baby-making efforts on hold for a bit! I wanna give my brother and his OH their chance "in the spotlight" so to speak! Maybe closer to their due date or after their baby is born, i can start trying again.

 

[snagglepat]

Tammy,

That's very honourable of you, but from experience, it'll take you a few months at least to go through getting all the tests done and establishing the boundaries with your KD - and that's after you've found him. It took us 7 months from starting to look to starting to TTC. Even if you find the perfect donor tomorrow you can always say you don't want to start until February/Easter/later. If you don't start looking for months and then it takes months before you can get started you'll be pretty frustrated.

It was a BFN for us yesterday morning, the day after AF was due. AF is still not here. We'll test again in the morning but if it's still negative at 18dpo I'm happy sticking with the BFN diagnosis and going back to the docs to up my metformin dosage. Last time I reached a point when it stopped working and my cycles just stopped again. Things kicked off again once my dosage was upped and things have felt strange this cycle. I've never been 100% sure I ovulated at all. Assuming my new doc approves the increased meds it'll probably take a month or so before things get going again so it'll probably be the new year before I can reliably try again. Bah.

Best wishes to all,

Gina x

 

[Edensmum]

Hi Tammy, obviously the decision is completely yours but I would tend to agree with Gina. I've been on the 2 sites I mentioned since January. I know I'm maybe looking for something more specific than you, but still it takes time to weigh these guys up, get them to comit to ttc and then (as it would seem) a few months? to actually get pregnant.

A lot of sites give you 3 months/6 months/12 months access so joining up now simply means you can browse through the potentials and see who may work well with you (and your family)

I've made my peace (to a degree) with my failed donor relationship. To a point I'm pleased the problem has been identified after only 2 cycles. I'm now only looking to find a local donor/co-parent e.g within 1 and a half hours drive. It does limit the number of men, but I keep telling myself new ones sign up almost every day. So it will be worth the wait.

I have a random question for you ladys. How do you go about gently letting down possible donors who don't meet expectations in the looks/age department. A few times perfectly 'nice' guys have struck up conversation and seem ok but... I have set a maximum age of 40, however, some of the men in their late 30's look ok just slightly balding, beer belly. Others?!?!? are much less appealing. I'm not looking for model looks, but they do need to look... acceptable/normal.
Would love to hear any tips on this, and sorry if I sound bitchy, I'm hoping you'll understand what I'm getting at.

Kirsty -x-

 

[RubyRainbows]

Gina - I'm still hoping you get your ! Keep us posted after you test again tomorrow!

Kirsty - I haven't had that problem yet. I did get some responses to the ad i posted, but after a few emails i either stopped writing bc the guy seemed weird or perverted... or the guy stopped writing to me. Mostly they stopped writing once i asked to see a pic. I would just tell them in a round-about way that they aren't exactly what you are looking for. Like i would straight-out say that i am looking for a donor that is tall and on the slimmer side, simply bc i am short and heavy-set so i am hoping to balance things out lol. I am sure it's awkward to be talking with someone who is really nice and then you change your mind after seeing their picture. Perhaps you can ask to see pics before talking long?

I know the process will take several months. I def am going to start looking for a suitable donor. I just worry that my mom or my brother would be annoyed if i did get pregnant right now. Complex family dynamics!! Lol.

 

[snagglepat]

Kirsty,

That's an issue we didn't have to face fortunately. The only two men we got to the point of possibly pursuing were both of an appearance we were happy with. We didn't have many requirements there though, just that they were white, healthy and fertile - requirements we listed in our advert (we still got replies from black/asian donors). Both the guys we properly got taking to were over 40 though. Can I ask why you've set this as an age limit? Statistically men over 40 are only marginally less fertile than those under. We conceived our daughter when our donor was 44. Now he's 47 and we're trying again. He's had his sperm count tested and its still high. I can understand from a co-parent perspective why you wouldn't want them to be OAPs but there are lots of men who become fathers in their 40s with no problems. Just curious.

As for letting them down gently, you could say that you're looking for a donor that looks like your daughter's donor so that they won't look too different to each other. You don't need to tell them what that is, just that they don't fit the bill.

Another BFN here. I think that's pretty definite. I'll be calling the doctor later to try and get an appointment to take things forward with my meds. *sigh*

It looks like we're all three on hold for a little while now then. May our various issues resolve quickly.

Gina. x

 

[RubyRainbows]

Looks like we are all back to square one!

 

[Nimyra]

Hi everyone,

I'm so glad to have found this forum and that it is active! My husband (who is older) had a vasectomy many years ago which he tried had reverse. We have been ttc for about 7 months - he was told the reversal was successful - but found out last month that the reverseal wasn't as successful as he thought.

We decided to proceed with donor sperm - we were discouraged by the costs of using a sperm bank and I came across some networking sites which connect people with free donors. We used the yahoo group - (freespermdonors or something like that) because it was free to join. After advertising and contacting some people we found a guy about 4 hours away who we felt comfortable using. Yes, we definitely got some creepy responses, but there also seemed to be some genuine guys there who just wanted to help out. I was excited by how quickly we were able to find and vet a donor (since he has done this before, he really had all his ducks in a row).

I had a heck of a time this month predicting ovulation. From BBT charts I was expecting to ovulate on Thursday and inseminated a couple days before and the day of... but I was still getting negative LH tests (those drive me nuts... so hard to read). The donor was really great about continuing to donate over the weekend and I think I ovulated on Sunday. I think if this cycle doesn't work out I am going to invest in the ovwatch which gives you a few days notice prior to ovulation by tracking chlorine-ion surges.

The first couple inseminations I used Dr. Zavos Home conception kit - which was very easy - but a bit pricey. Because I wasn't expecting to inseminate more than twice I used instead cups the other two times. That was also relatively easy and much less expensive!

Now it is time to wait and try to stay positive. I hope it is helpful to hear what we've been doing.

 

[Nimyra]

I have a random question for you ladys. How do you go about gently letting down possible donors who don't meet expectations in the looks/age department.

I've just said, "Thanks so much for replying. I've decided to work with another donor, but I'll let you know if anything changes and I still need assistance. Take care."

I'm appreciative of the guy's response, even if the guy is sketchy or ugly, because it is still an offer of assistance. That's my take.

 

[molliedollie]

Hi Ladies,

I registered for this site about a week or so ago and have been lurking, and was so excited when I found this thread about using sperm donors.

I am 41 and have a 5 year old daughter who I concived the old fashioned way with my then boyfriend without trying. She was a complete surprise. He and I are no longer together and since then I have been in one long term relationship with my ex who had a vasectomy and would not reverse. Since he and I broke up, I have met and dated a few men, but as I am at an age where it is pretty much do it now, I finally decided to go the donor route.

To make matters worse, I have PCOS so my chances are at a double low!

I met someone through one of the online donor sites who I was comfortable with right away thank goodness since the week he and I started talking on the phone, it was the week I figured I woul ovulate. I used an OPK for the very first time and after seeing a positive, he and I met and ineminated for three days in a row. Well, I am now on cylce day 30 with no AF and a BFN yesterday which would have been 11 days past ovulation according to the OPK.

I am hoping that there is still a chance since AF hasnt arrived, but we shall see.

My donor has promised to stay with me until I conceive. He has one grown daughter of his own and has conceived two others through donation.

I have more thoughts, but am on my way to bed now as it is really late here...

Wishing all of us much luck! I will keep all of you in my thoughts!

 

[muncho]

Hi ladies

i was wondering if you could help me? im over on TTC but tomorrow im having a laparoscopy and next week im due to Ov . but have been told that i cant Bd for a couple of weeks. i dont want to miss out this month so im think of insemmination with fresh sperm from DH..

i have seen the kits on line and thet are reasonably priced. Im not sure they some with the cup things so should i buy some ..what do you think?

thanks
xx