Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[c.30]

I feel really agitated.... I don't want to tell everyone what I'm doing (mostly in case it doesn't work) but am all excited... have told my mum and sister who are supportive but can't go on at them all the time!!

Argh!

yep, I went on at my mum and sister alllll the time, they were both my birthing partners and my sis was in with me for my c-section. A journal or blog can help for that, either on here where it's very private; I'm pretty sure only members can see the journals, or there are plenty of blogs online. Or, you could do it the old fashioned way and put pen to paper if you want to start a journal on here just go to the TTC journal section and start a new post, you'll get lots of 'stalkers' too who can encourage you while you're trying, when you're pregnant and when LO is here or of course, you can just post in here when you want to

 

[oldnavygirl]

@ticking.clock

Yeah I realise that, that's why I haven't given him my address or told him where abouts I live and I won't be going to. I've made that totally clear to him and he seems okay with that x

I agree, but another factor to consider is not that they know where you live, but if they are only 10 minutes away there is a strong possibility that you could run into them randomly when you're out. This is why we decided we didn't want to use anyone that was too close -- our donor is about an hour away so the odds are we won't run into them when we're out shopping which could create a very awkward situation. Doesn't mean that you should rule him out, but it is something to consider.

 

[JasmineAnne]

@oldnavygirl

That isn't really a concern because I live in Newcastle and he lives in Gateshead which is through the Tyne Tunnel (quickest route, takes about 10 - 20mins depending on traffic) and I never go over there so there's no chance I would bump into him over his end. There is a slight chance I'll bump into him when I'm in town but I doubt that would happen as I hardly ever go to town and Newcastle is a big place x

 

[LeahMSta]

Wow....I feel really behind on posts. It may take me a minute to catch up. Hope all is well. I see some new folks too. Hi and welcome!

We are on cycle 14 and for the first time in all of that time, DW's chart looks like madness. She's had a cold, the local weather has been erratic as all get up, her temps have been EVERYWHERE. Just to butter our biscuit, we ran out of OPKs and never saw her surge. Lol! I think I may be slacking on my job. We have just inseminated as often as schedules would allow and decided to call last night the last one for this cycle. Our only consolation is that we have had some text book beautiful charts without a BFP, so maybe the hot mess will be the winner. Hahaha!

 

[Nimyra]

How many times do you get donations per month?

Do you think it would be overkill to ask for 4?

Thanks!

 

[oldnavygirl]

How many times do you get donations per month?

Do you think it would be overkill to ask for 4?

Thanks!

My donor offered me 4 -- so I didn't have to ask It probably is overkill if you have your cycle/timings right but it certainly can't hurt!

 

[day_dreamer]

Aaah I'd love 4!! I can only get 1!

 

[c.30]

I think the most I got one month was 3 but even then my timing was off unfortunately. Most months I just got one, including my BFP months, but if getting 4 donations takes the stress out of it/reassures you that there are enough sperm going to where they should be and your donors ok with this then go for it. It can't hurt to ask right

 

[Nimyra]

I think mostly I'm just not great at figuring out my timing. My ovulation day tends to move by up to 3 days in either direction... So I guess I want to cover my bases... we'll see what this month brings.

 

[Juniperjules]

Hi girls, the whole timing thing can really do ur head in can't it. Every month it's like a puzzle u have to try & solve... Every month in the days leading up to Ov, I find my anxiety levels rising.. Which irritates the crap out of me bcos stress/ anxiety/ cortisol can all stop u from conceiving. I guess it's simply bcos when u know u didn't get a bfp the month before, u feel like u might've done 'something' wrong.. Timing more to the point. I mean, I asked the FS about it & he basically said every other day leading up to Ov is perfect. But then I worry that if Ov is off by a day then it messes up that plan... Arggggghhh.. It's really counter-productive to think about it too much isn't it. I'm supposed to Ov next Sat, so I figure we work with Wed & Friday. Any more than second daily & I find that OH's volume goes down dramatically & it feels pointless.

Am having an internal ultra sound on Tuesday to check follicles.. Not looking forward to that!!!

 

[day_dreamer]

Juniperjules - I totally agree! It's really frustrating, especially because stress can delay ovulation. So timing a donation is a nightmare. If I aim for o-2 and ov is delayed 2-3 days then it's worthless.

I might try waiting until a positive opk this cycle, then at least it wont be a.waste of time!

 

[JasmineAnne]

Okay so I feel a bit let down today.

One of the donors I was supposed to be meeting sent me an email saying that he has "changed his mind" and now will only do NI. I told him that I'll only do AI and he sent back saying "oh well sorry can't help you".

I'm still meeting the other donor on the 17th of June and he's the one that I had good vibes about. I've talked on the phone to him a few times and he seems really genuine, he's 38, has 2 kids already and I've even spoken to his wife who is really sweet and totally for this. I asked him how many times per cycle does he could donate and he said as many as I want, it's all up to me.

I really want it to work out with him, just gotta keep my FX that everything goes well x

 

[day_dreamer]

Ah that's a shame Jasmine, but unfortunately it's not uncommon. A guy I spoke to for 4 months did the same a few years ago, and at the time he was the only suitable donor in that area so that postponed my TTC plans til I moved.

Fingers crossed for the other donor!

 

[JasmineAnne]

That's awful day_dreamer. Yeah I wish people would just be honest from the start then we wouldn't have to be let down later on.

Thanks though and good luck to you with your new donor x

 

[Nimyra]

Jasmine, It is very common, and, just so we are clear, it is usually not that they "changed their minds" - often it is their plan from the beginning, knowing that many recipients are vulnerable and will cave once they are hooked and have their hopes up.

It is a totally different situation if both parties are interested in or open to NI from the beginning.

 

[JasmineAnne]

@Nimyra

Yeah I kinda thought that was the case as soon as he brought it up. And he actually said in the email that he has changed his mind, I didn't just assume that. I've always told him that I'm a lesbian and I would never ever consider NI.

I haven't even started TTC yet though, hopefully within the next couple months depending on how well the meeting goes with the other donor x

 

[ticking.clock]

I know lesbians who've done NI, I think some hope that once you have your hopes up that you'll change your mind

 

[JasmineAnne]

@ticking.clock

Yeah so do I actually, my cousin is a lesbian and her friend offered to be her sperm donor, they just did NI as they were comfortable enough with each other. They had a little boy last year and her friend acts as a co-parent to him x

 

[oldnavygirl]

I think the issue is, you have to do whatever you are happy and comfortable with be it AI or NI and make sure you are aware of any potential legal implications that may arise from whichever method you choose.

Whatever happens JasmineAnne, the right donor is out there for you and will be happy to work with your wishes.

 

[JasmineAnne]

Thanks oldnavygirl.

I would only ever be comfortable with AI, even the thought of NI grosses me out so I could never do that. I'm meeting a donor soon who seems perfect so FX it all works out x