Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[snagglepat]

The appearance question is an interesting one isn't it, but I have to say I'm pretty much in the same boat as Ruby. It was all the other factors that meant the most, the safety/trust element, his intelligence and awareness, how comfortable we felt around him and that all important gut instinct. We decided beforehand that our only physical stipulation for our donor was that he was white, given that we both are. Our first donor was a friend who I loved (and still do) dearly but who I don't think is particularly good looking, plus he's a big guy - 6'5" and broad. For me at 5'3" the idea of my children towering over me at age 11 was a little daunting, but he was the right guy for us for all the other reasons at the time. When that stopped working out (he now lives in Australia) we found the donor who has fathered both our children and I think he is rather good looking, plus his physical characteristics are more my preferences: average height, blond, blue eyed, slim/medium build - all just like Rae - and we've been blessed with one child at least who strangers assume is biologically hers due to their physical similarities, hopefully this one will be the same. However, we'd have gone with him if he'd been physically very different because it's the other aspects that we chose him for. His good looks/physical match to Rae are perks, not deciding factors.

I'd also question why your donor hasn't sent you any pictures, especially if you're going to be meeting him! I'd definitely put some kind of safety plan in place too. Better safe than sorry. All the donors we initiated conversations with sent pictures within the first few emails. It's not a make-or-break thing but if your potential donor turned out to be the spitting image of an ex-boyfriend or high school bully or something then he might just not be the right one for you.

Mechanica, you've another vote here for giving it a try. You might be getting towards the end of your window but it should still be open, and if you didn't have fertile mucus yesterday maybe it;s because today is going to be your best day. Do you have it today? EWCM was always our trusty guide and was much more reliable than OPKs for us. Good luck!

Gina. x

 

[mechanica]

Well, he's never refused to send me a picture, but i've never asked. It never occurred to me before now, to be honest. I know his basics, hair colours, eye colour, etc, which were perfect for me because they're the same as my daughters father so i'm hoping they may look slightly similar. I've just emailed him to ask for one now !

I know he is 'safe' because he's a well known donor, so i'm not concerned. I feel like a real newbie to this, even though i've done it before. My cm is a bit more stringy that yesterday, but not egg white-y yet! Hopefully by tonight!

Thanks for the support!

Gina, i have an October 07 baby too!

 

[Nimyra]

Good luck, Mechanica. I hope meeting the donor goes well. Keep us posted.

For me, I confess I'm a bit vain. Looks mattered, as did intelligence. In the end though, we went with our gut instinct, and the donor was great. Interestingly, even though the donor had brown eyes (blue was a slight preference because my husband has blue eyes), Maya so far has blue eyes. they might still change but aren't showing any signs of changing.

Here's a little video I made of Maya in the snow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRGZ41n9ukA

 

[EpdTTC]

Em- I don't know if I'll ever get over what a beautiful baby Maya is! Love those chubby cheeks! You are looking great too!

 

[LunaBean]

Erin congrats on 24 weeks!

Em I love the video, she look so baffled! 'Wats this cold stuff??' lol

Personally, I wasn't that fussed on looks of the donors, Id rather have someone who was intelligent etc, plus you never know who the baby will look like! I swopped pix within the first few emails tho, just so I could picture in my head who I was talking to etc, and also so I knew he was the real deal when I met him for the first time.

I'm still mourning my lost egg this month, loadsss of ewcm today too dammit!

 

[mechanica]

Nimyra - Haha, she does look baffled! She is absolutely beautiful!! It was funny to hear you talk because i think everyone sounds like me, which of course they don't!!

My pic drama is over - he sent a pic so i am very relieved! Have set up my bed (syringe, preseed, preseed syringe, crisps, instead cup, towel, wet wipe, drink, snacks, jeez, thats a lot!) so am ready to go! I took another test and i've still got the smiley face, so i think i'll ovulate tonight or early tomorrow. I've not used preseed before this cycle, so i'm not really sure how much to use. It says 3gm 15 minutes before having sex, so i'm assuming its the same for sperm donation!

I've tidied up, my daughter is at my sisters and i am much calmer. Think i'll have a cup of tea and wait for him to call. Quite looking forward to it now, fingers crossed!

Thank you for putting up with my neurotic ramblings! I hope this month is my month!

 

[tenleys306]

11/29/2010
pd started late last night so i started the monitor today at day one. So we will be looking at 12/11,12,13/2010 for ttc#2. ill keep everyone posted.


Ruby: i am the one who will be carrying my oh can not carry, Our wedding on the other hand was very big and was so great even tho it was not legal we paid to have my last name changed and we had the wedding here in pa it was done by our good friend and you can see more photos on fb tenleys306 look us up. We had such a blast and it was worth every penny we spent.

 

[mommies1and2]

Hi everyone! I've been reading through the posts to try and keep up with all the happenings...The whole donor appearance issue was an interesting one for me and my OH. We love everything about our donor...he's a great friend who we totally trust. We have a great relationship with him and his wife and he is incredibly smart, even tempered and kind. But my partner really wants a mini version of me...blond, blue and small. Our donor is brown, brown and tall. My OH was initially a little hesitant only because of the appearance factor - he's not unattractive but he doesn't look anything like me. Eventually we just had to weigh all the options and agree about what was most important. For me, looks weren't an issue. I mean, I wouldn't have wanted a repulsive donor but at the same time I'd rather pick one who is lacking some of the physical preferences and know that I am getting one who has all of the requirements emotionally, is healthy and intelligent. Sometimes I still worry that my baby will come out and look like an alien though...

Tenleys - sorry to hear you didn't get a BFP. What kind of monitor are you using?

Nimyra - Maya is adorable!

Mechanica - I had my only positive OPK on Day 14 and inseminated days 14, 15 and 17. I didn't ovulate until Day 17 and thought for sure my timing was off but ended up pregnant...so I would have to say based on our experience 3 days after a positive OPK may be perfect! Good luck to you, sounds like you are all set!

Ruby - are you in your TWW? When are you due to test?

Luna - hang in there girlie...it sounds like you've got a ton of stuff going on right now!

 

[RubyRainbows]

Mommies1&2 -- Yes we are in the 2ww! Not planning to test for awhile. Ideally, i would prefer to wait until after AF is due (Dec. 7 - 10)! We are out of tests & money is tight right now, as we try to finish up xmas shopping!

Emily -- Maya is sooo cute! Love her cheeks!

Tenleys -- I'm going to go look you up on FB right now!

Luna -- Thanks for the xmas card! Got it today! So pretty!

Quick question: OH has had a belly ache for two days now. Painful achy/pressure... but high in her belly... not low. Could this be a normal 2ww symptom? Or a possible-pregnancy-problem?? Or just a regular 'ol belly ache??? Any thoughts?

 

[RubyRainbows]

tenleys -- I can't find you on FB! I think i need your name or email address to find you!

 

[Nimyra]

Luna, I won't get the card for a while because I'm not at home. I'm up at my mom's house (about 7 hours away) for a few weeks. My neighbor is picking up my mail and feeding the kitties though, so I'll get it when I get home. I'm sure I'll love it!

 

[topazicatzbet]

i wasnt bothered about looks, my donor isnt a stunner, and neither am i but everyone says callum is good looking.

i went dor a donor with dark hair and dark eyes so the baby would look like me, well callum has blond hair and blue eyes, so where did that come from

 

[EpdTTC]

Ruby-I'm not sure about the stomach ache. It's probably one of those things that could just be coincidence but could also mean something. Don't you hate that? I guess if you get a BFP you can look back and say "that must have been why" but unfortunately we probably won't know until then! Ugh!

I hope it's a good sign though!

 

[tenleys306]

tenleys -- I can't find you on FB! I think i need your name or email address to find you!

Molly Tenley Croft
[email protected]

 

[tenleys306]

Tenleys - sorry to hear you didn't get a BFP. What kind of monitor are you using?
*******WE ARE USING THE CLEAR BLUE EASY MONIT******** praying that it works.

 

[mommies1and2]

Ruby: It sounds like the gas pain I get. One of the less fun side effects I'm having is that I am super bloated... Aside from making me feel like a pig it causes a lot of pressure and discomfort. Does it get any better if she changes positions? Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you guys!

 

[RubyRainbows]

The pain has gone away she said... just some achyness in lower belly... hoping & praying for a BFP. OH informed me that we have 2 HPTs here... lol... i thought we used them all! I was better off not knowing bc now i'll be itching to test!

 

[mommies1and2]

It is so hard to wait even though you know you should! I tested too early and got a negative but I still knew I was pregnant. My OH made me wait almost until my period was due before she would let me test again...didn't wants another false result. And then, the line was super faint and she didn't think it was a positive. I had to take a second digital test to convince her.

 

[RubyRainbows]

Mechanica -- How did everyting go with the donor & with insem?? Good luck!

 

[rosie5637]

hi ladies!

congrats on the s, great news

i am getting really stressed this morning. i sent my donor a message on tuesday to make sure we were still on for this friday and he hasn't got back to me yet. i know it's only two days but he has always got back to me on the same day.

on top of that i don't think he's gonna be able to make it through the snow so it looks like i won't have an attempt this cycle either

i don't know whether to leave it or try and find a last minute donor closer to home its a nightmare cause the donations HAS to be tomorrow. i'm not around on saturday and sunday is too late.