Considering at-home insemination with donor sperm...?

[mommies1and2]

Quick question for other gay mommies...

We've already told our parents and all of my OH's family but need to let my extended family know we're pregnant. We know that some of them are not going to share our joy at the news and were trying to think of the best way to tell them without having to deal with their negativity.

I thought about adding a note to our Christmas cards something like:

We hope your hearts are full of joy
and that you’ll join us sending praises high
to learn a brand new baby girl or boy
will be born to our family this July!

I know it's cheesy and impersonal (and not a very good rhyme) but what do you think? For me, it means not having to hear uncomfortable silences on the phone or worse, insensitive and judgmental comments about our having a baby. We are hoping to hear from the ones who are happy and NOT to hear from the ones who aren't.

In one way I feel like a big chicken doing it this way but really it's not that I'm afraid of what they'll say... I've just heard it all before and refuse to listen to it again. I just wondered if any of you have any pointers or tips sharing the news?

Thanks!

 

[Tegans Mama]

I don't have any tips, because honestly, all our family are very happy we have children. I think the poem is nice though xx

 

[EpdTTC]

I think it's nice too. We have been pretty fortunate and have not received any negative responses. I'm sure there are people that think that we shouldn't be procreating, but I think they are smart enough to keep their trap shut-at least to our faces.

So...it's official...I am big, fat pregnant and do not have ownership over my body. Despite getting up to pee at 1am, 2am, and 3am...when I sneezed hard at 3:20 am, pee came shooting out of me. Of course I had just stripped the bed and put clean sheets on earlier that day! Thank goodness I invested in a waterproof mattress pad several months ago in the event of things like this happening or water breaking. Gotta love OH, we just laughed and went back to sleep.

 

[Nimyra]

I think it's nice too. We have been pretty fortunate and have not received any negative responses. I'm sure there are people that think that we shouldn't be procreating, but I think they are smart enough to keep their trap shut-at least to our faces.

So...it's official...I am big, fat pregnant and do not have ownership over my body. Despite getting up to pee at 1am, 2am, and 3am...when I sneezed hard at 3:20 am, pee came shooting out of me. Of course I had just stripped the bed and put clean sheets on earlier that day! Thank goodness I invested in a waterproof mattress pad several months ago in the event of things like this happening or water breaking. Gotta love OH, we just laughed and went back to sleep.

LOL. hooray for being big, fat, pregnant, and losing control over bodily functions along with any last vestiges of dignity!

Creating new life is a beautiful thing.

 

[cranberry]

welcome zeebee. that was very forward thinking to store your donor's stuff. i am planning to do the same. i have some stored now for iui and will have him do more deposits after he gets over the shock of how intensive the process is. don't want to scare him off

EpdTTC - never thought pissing the bed would be a cause for laughter but you and your OH made me chuckle. and i am looking forward to my turn. should i buy stocks in the pantyliner company from now?

mommies1and2 - i am gay but my approach to family has been to come out to the ones i really care about and who i wanted to tell in person. for everything else, sadly, i just rely on the rumor mill to get the news to them. i will do the same with the baby or wait for them to see me with it or see pics and ask. good luck with your family and i do think the poem was a verr good idea.

 

[RubyRainbows]

Mommies 1&2 i think the poem is a cute idea! Afterall, historically Christmas cards often had family updates included! My friend sent out her pregnancy announcement via email & i didn't think it was impersonal... & i see alot of people make the big annoucement on FB. I would tell close family & friends verbally... and the rest will find out the wonderful news in the card or thru the rumor mill!

 

[Zeebee]

cranberry, our donor was rather surprised about how much and how often we needed him!

Mommies 1&2 I am not a gay mommy but DH and I have families firmly against any type of assisted conception. With our first child using donor sperm, we sent everyone we knew a card announcing that we were having a baby and with most recent baby we dressed up our youngest in a tshirt saying "I'm going to be a big sister" and put a photo it in easter cards.
We didn't get any negative comments, we did get quite a few people who didn't congratulate us at all.
I think the poem is a great idea, plus it may be cheesy but it is also cute.

 

[LunaBean]

I think its a good idea to put it in a card, I duno how we'll tell people! OHs mum know we're trying, and her brother, but not many other people, including my mum or grandparents, Id love to just arrive at a family gathering with a 12 week bump! I was gona tell them at xmas when I was 10.5 weeks..but..well..yano my luck with pregnancies!

 

[RubyRainbows]

OH is a mean, crab-apple today! Lol... i think AF is coming! I can usually tell right before she comes!!!! I wish we tested this morning with FMU. I was planning to wait until after her period was late... but waiting is sooo hard! Besides, anytime between tomorrow and Sunday would still be "normal" for her... so her period technically wont be "late" until next Monday!!! I can't wait that long!

 

[LunaBean]

TESTTTT!!! lol

 

[RubyRainbows]

I know! Maybe tomorrow morning! But that means waking up at 4:30 am with her before she leaves for work! Should have done it today when we were both off!

 

[Tegans Mama]

Good luck Ruby! x

 

[RubyRainbows]

BFN

 

[LunaBean]

Im sorry Ruby She's not out yet tho if AF isn't due!

 

[Tegans Mama]

Liz is right, it's not over til the witch flies in xx

 

[snagglepat]

It's been a quiet few day on here. That's not like us at all!

How is everyone doing? Ruby, did AF arrive?

We had our placenta site scan this afternoon and it was incredible. We were scanned by a trainee, with a senior sonographer guiding her so she really took her time and we saw lots of our baby - even head hair! It was just amazing. The placenta has moved away from the cervix so we're all set for our home birth, which is great news. I also think I might have caught a very fleeting glance of some genitals - of the opposite gender to the ones I think I might have seen at the 20 week scan. Again, we didn't ask for confirmation but now we've possibly seen both (or maybe neither) we officially have no clue what flavour this baby might be and it will well and truly be a surprise on the day.

Not long to wait now...

Best wishes to all,

Gina. x

 

[EpdTTC]

Awesome Gina! Good news on the placenta clearing away from the cervix. You must be getting so excited! I'll be glad when my semester is over so I can focus more on getting ready. Bought my car seat today! This has all been so surreal for me and I think it might be starting to set in a bit.

Can't wait to hear all about your home birth!
Erin

 

[RubyRainbows]

Gina -- That is great news! So glad everything is falling perfectly into place! Can't wait to hear your birth story & see pics -- i love when babies are born with lots of hair! So cute!

As for us, AF has not yet arrived. We haven't tested again -- it's just too heartbreaking seeing that one solitary line! AF usually arrives anywhere between 27 days & 33 days for OH. So, if AF hasn't arrived by CD 34 we will test again. Not getting our hopes up tho since we had the BFN on Sunday & OH is not experiencing any pregnancy symptoms whatsoever!

Erin -- so fun to start buying everything & getting things ready!

 

[mechanica]

Gina - How exciting! Did Ember have lots of hair when she was born? My daughter had lots of hair, it was such a shock! Do you think you'll go over? I would love to have a home birth, but i think i'm going to have to fight the NHS for one.

On the back of what Ruby has said, when did people start testing or are there some patient ones amongst us who didn't until way past AF was due? This Monday is 2 weeks since i got my donation, and the suspense is killing me. I don't know when i ovulate (could have been the Monday or the Tuesday) so i am desperate to take a test, but i'm not sure if it's too early. I don't have any symptoms, some cramping every now and again, but thats it and that could be AF! I only have cheapy ebay tests but will it be too early? Shall i just wait until Tues/Weds?

 

[cranberry]

ruby i am praying AF stays away!

i am still in my tww and am feeling what has gone from twinges to now a dull ache in my side. i am still over a week out from AF ETA so i know it is not period cramps - altho sometimes it feels like that.

i am going in to scan for cysts tomorrow. i am hoping for the best but expecting the worst.