consultant made me feel guilty :(

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Third Trimester' started by farmerswifey, Nov 18, 2011.

  1. farmerswifey

    farmerswifey Well-Known Member

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    Ive been for my consultant appt today and baby is still breech.
    I had talked things over with OH beforehand as we expected this anyway and we decided that ECV wasnt for us. OHs brother was breech - they tried ECV on him and he is disabled due to cord twisting round his neck. Also heard so many horror stories about ECV and how it didnt work in the end anyway. Im worried about the risks.

    My appt was horrible! :cry: There were 3 people in the room pushing me to give it a try when it clearly scares me to death! A consultant, an SHO and a nurse! They were very short with me and made me feel like I didnt have my childs best interests at heart if I didnt try ECV :cry:
    I have struggled to conceive my baby and in the past two years Ive had two miscarriages and an ectopic. I am so excited to get this far so that my family will be complete (already have a DD at 4 years old) and I feel that I cannot and will not take any risks with the labour. I just want to pick the safest option for my LO!

    Dont get me wrong - I would love a natural and a vaginal birth and this is what I was expecting until a scan last monday - but now that my choices are more limited I thought it was mine and OHs decision to make?

    Why did they make me feel so bad?:nope:

    Im really upset now and crying every few mintues. They have actually booked me a csection but I felt like I was an inconvenience doing this. My mum says its all about the money and we are just a number to them - but i thought this was the caring profession?

    Any support, advice or tough love is highly appreciated! Have I done the right thing or should I have folded on my views and let them try it?

    xxxxxxxxxxx
     
  2. gingerwhinger

    gingerwhinger Mum of 2!

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    I had a similar problem sorting out my c section... despite the fact both my son and I nearly died and he was an emergency c section and I have other risks meaning a natural birth is near on impossible to me - I still had a fight for my consultant to just book me an elective section! In the end I wrote a rather long and frank letter to her and everyone else involved in my care. Did the job... though I think she hates me now! You are doing what is best for your baby, try not to let them upset you. They really upset me too, made me feel pretty useless. But as my Mother would say, take a deep breath and wash your face and you will feel loads better! Just forget about them :) x
     
  3. mum2b2009

    mum2b2009 mummy of two boys!

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    no advice but hugs
     
  4. Amy31

    Amy31 Well-Known Member

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    I had appointment with my consultant as well today about ECV as baby is breech. I booked appointment for Monday for ECV but am undecided whether to go ahead with it or not. She seemed supportive if I changed my mind and decided not to go ahead. It is such a difficult decision and you do what is best for you not what suits them. Do what feels right and comfortable for you :hugs:
     
  5. Catwiffy

    Catwiffy Well-Known Member

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    Aw hun, big hugs. It's your decision and they should respect that! They shouldn't push you to do something you don't want to. Don't feel bad, you have your baby's best interests at heart. You could always make a complaint?xx
     
  6. _jellybean_

    _jellybean_ Well-Known Member

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    Bologna with HER! Makes me furious. You know your body. My LO is transverse now, and I just looked up ECV. Risks for me would outweigh the benefits. So sorry you had to deal with her. :hugs:
     
  7. Cuffy

    Cuffy Mum to 1 Expecting Twins

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    Well done you for standing your ground! They are drs and yes they have trained for a long time but they don't always get it right! I had the same thing yesterday with two obstetricians trying to bully and intimidate me into doing what they want and I presented my reasons, research and stood my ground. Dont get upset they aren't worth it and this is your baby xx
     
  8. farmerswifey

    farmerswifey Well-Known Member

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    Thank you so much ladies for your answers and support!

    My OH couldnt come to my appt with me because he had to work today urgently - but I have to say that if my Mum hadnt tagged along for moral support and I had been on my own I may have crumbled and given in to what they were saying! It just goes to show how you can be bullied into doing what you are not comfortable with!

    It shouldnt be allowed this way! Ive felt like crap all day as a result and my legs are still shaky (possibly with anger - possibly just upset! lol)

    Its good to know that I can get some support here and also find out what people in the same position think.

    xxxxxxxxxx
     
  9. bluelilly72

    bluelilly72 Well-Known Member

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    whats a evc
     
  10. mushy1981

    mushy1981 Well-Known Member

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    I too nearly got persuaded to have the ecv but refused, my mum had one and it didn't work out. Luckily my OH was there to back me up. We have the section booked in for dec 12th. If baby turns head down though we will have to wait for natural labour to begin!!

    GL

    Feel free to PM me if you'd like support.

    Clare
     
  11. mushy1981

    mushy1981 Well-Known Member

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    where they try to turn baby head down externally using hand force and lubrication!! :cry:
     
  12. missmayhem

    missmayhem Mummy to 2 little cuties

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    i am shocked at your treatment


    big hugs hun, you have a right to decline any treatment you wish
     
  13. ashlee23

    ashlee23 Well-Known Member

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    so annoying how this varies so much hospital to hospital! especially know they have made c-sections elective anyway! unfortunately it tends to vary consultant to consultant too, mine is lovely and simply says its all my choice, its just his job to give me all the info and as long as im makin an informed decision he'll support me. unfortunately i think with some docs it does just come down to convenience and what they personally prefer - not the way its meant to be xxx
     
  14. Nikki B

    Nikki B Well-Known Member

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    My Dr. told me he's not comfortable doing them, that the risks vs. success rate is too low for him to justify doing it. It's your baby, your body, your decision. If your midwife is going to be a rag about it, I'd find a new one.
     
  15. ashley_gee89

    ashley_gee89 Mummy of 3.

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    IGNORE THEM! they did the exact same thing to my friend.. It is about the money, they get more money from an emergency section than they do from planned. Your right, the risks are silly and you would be in a lot of pain.. I think u did the right thing!
     
  16. toddlerandpip

    toddlerandpip Well-Known Member

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    It has such low success rates I wouldn't do it either. I'd ask the dr and everyone else what the hospital's and what's their personal success rate! Its nationally ridiculously low apparently.
     
  17. shanti01

    shanti01 Guest

    I am so sorry. I don't understand why they do this. Really! Oh, and my doctor doesn't believe in these methods as they can cause complications, so don't feel bad about your choice.

    Why does everyone make you feel guilty when you say you want a section? The nurses and midwife at hospital was so rude to me when they heard that the doctor want to book a c-section for me. The midwife was so short and bad tempered with me that even DH had trouble to keep himself in not to say something to her. Problem is, she will be looking after me in hospital in a few weeks time and need to help me to latch little one when BF. I'm so scared to be under her care.
     
  18. franny_k

    franny_k Mummy to Grace and Jude

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    Your body, your baby, your choice. Stay strong and try not to let them get you down, although easier said than done. You have had to come a long way to get to this stage and they should be fully supportive of you. Good for standing your ground. Makes me so angry when they treat pregnant women and their families like this and it only seems to be on the increase. Good luck x
     
  19. Miss Duke

    Miss Duke Mum of 2 gorgeous kids!!!

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    I agree its your choice hon. My baby is breech, though mine has plenty of time to turn - I am only 32 weeks. I honestly am not sure I would have the ECV either.

    I would look at all the info - they scan and monitor HR throughout and ANY sign of distress and they stop, and continued distress will mean an immediate section.

    However what puts me off is that its meant to be painful - if it hurts the mum, I would be afraid of it hurting the baby :-( At least a section won't hurt the baby.

    Good luck anyway with your decision hon xxx
     
  20. Daisy1986

    Daisy1986 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with you, if they ask me to have one I'm refusing point blank. Apparently you have to sign something to say you agree to the risks involved such as broken bones, etc. HELL NO! x
     

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