Contact and nappies?

[LJaydow]

Hey girls

As some of you may be aware I have gone through the courts to get access sorted out for my LO and his dad. I have a non molestation order against the dad for threatening behaviour etc

Part of the court agreement was having a "contact book", so as dad can see LO's routine etc.

LO came back late today (first time since court order) and in his book dads girlfriend had written that he slept fine etc which is complete crap because LO's dad has said numerous times that he never sleeps well at all.

In the back of this book she had added to my list of things for LO to take with him that dad wants enough nappies to last the weekend. He had said previously that because he pays maintenance he doesnt see why he should have to pay for anything for LO.

Is this right? I want to tell him to stick it up his arse, surely the maintenance money is for me and LO for the time that I have him?

Thank you

 

[omfgski]

I thi.

 

[Kate&Lucas]

It's very nit-picking. I don't provide nappies for the time Lucas is with his Dad and he's never asked me to (if he were that arsed I'd give him back the £3.50 from the maintenance money for his trouble).

I do believe if he has the child overnight on a regular basis then your CSA payments are reduced to reflect this, so yes it is only paid for the time LO is with you.

 

[Dezireey]

Doesnt matter, if LO needs more nappies when with his Dad, then Dad should go out and get them. You can hand over as many nappies as you think feasible for this but it doesnt account for accidents or LO needing more nappies in a day than another. They are just nit-picking really. I would put a bit extra in the bag from now on but if he brings it up again, tell him that you hope he's not leaving LO in dirty nappies for hours just because he believes he shouldn't go out and pay for some.

 

[LJaydow]

See I have phoned the CSA to get payments done through them, because he keeps changing the date of them, and has stopped them before and asked for a shopping list instead and crap like that, but I havent heard back from them.

If it pains him so much to buy nappies for is own kid then sure I will provide them, it just really annoyed me that a) he cant even be arsed to fill the book out himself, and b) had his pathetic gf request nappies, and toothpaste and all manner of toiletries that I thought he should be providing.

I am unusually annoyed by it, just because his GF has got involved, and she was the one who got drunk in my local and announced to the pub that I neglect jack and dont deserve to have him and I wish she would keep her nose out to be honest

 

[Ceejay123]

Its none of her business and she really should keep out of it, unless invited into it. I wouldn't provide more nappies if I were you. Does he pay much in CSA? Surely a pack of nappies is about £5... -.- Whats his problem!

If I were looking after my god-daughter, nevermind my son or OH's son.. i'd provide her nappies, food, bath stuff. So he has no leg to stand on.

 

[littlegenes]

CSA is based on the number of days the second parent/guardian has the child and obviously there income- therefore it is assumed that the second parent/guardian will provide for the child while they are in their care- nappies, food etc.

 

[lyonesse]

My situation is similar-FOB has LO every weekend, from Fri afternoon til Sun afternoon. He wanted that access and I informed him that if that was what he wanted, then he had to prove he was up to the responsibility and provide nappies, formula, food, clothing, bedding, bottles, gripe water, wipes. I'd provide some toys, clothing to go there and come home in, but everything else was up to him. If he couldn't provide that, then he would be getting what any other FOB would be entitled to-a few supervised visits per week. This arrangement has been in place since we broke up and LO was about 3months old, an age I knew the courts weren't automatically going to permit overnight visits. For us it's a matter of putting LO first. Sounds like in your situation hun these pair are being immature and looking for a fight.

We also have what we call the "Black Book" for all communication about LO. Our major rule about the book is that only WE can write in it. Lessens the potential for drama.