Coping

[Fireflies]

I keep putting my right finger on my left wrist & leaving it there, right on top of my pulse. I can feel it.
Right now thats about the only thing I can feel that lets me know im living. I feel like im in zombie mode, just simply surviving, like the life has been sucked out of me.

“You’ll never get over it, but you will get used to it” – I pray to God your right. I don’t want to feel like this forever.
But for now, and until something comes along & makes me feel better, I’ll keep hold of my pulse to remind myself that I am infact alive.

At 7 weeks & 3 days my little blueberry died.
My baby grew its angel wings & flew to heaven.

I don’t really have any feeling or thought. Im numb & I’m broken. I don’t know how to put into words what has happened & how I feel about it.

All I know is that I want my baby back.

I loved you so much in such a short time & I will always love you. No matter how tiny your foot, it was never too small to make an imprint on mine & daddys heart.

I keep tossing reasons for this around in my head, but coming back with nothing. They told me there was nothing I could have done that would have caused this & likewise nothing I could have done to prevent it. Ofcourse I don't believe them, I can't help but blame myself. Im your mother, im meant to protect you from any harm & keep you safe. And after only 7 weeks & 3 days I failed.

“I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be”

 

[Bosch]

Aw hun, i'm so sorry for your loss. i don't want to say it will get better, or it was for the best - i hated when people told me that. u have the right to grief. take care of yourself, take care of your baby's mother, take care of your baby's father. you carry your baby with you in your soul.

 

[greeneyes0279]

 

[peace]

I know how you feel, I really do. Right now your probably thinking your never going to get over the pain and how sad your feeling, but you will, trust me. It took me months and months to accept my first loss, and i'm still going through the sadness with the second, but it does get easier, and don't blame yourself..there was nothing you could do, it will be okay in time x Im so sorry for your loss

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am crying as I am reading this, cause it's been 3 months since I lost Ava at 18 weeks and I still feel this way ??????? I try so very hard to get through this but why for me is it getting harder? I feel like I am going backwards not forward I mean I do not cry as much as I did, but I constantly think of her and how it would have been. She would have been here in 8 weeks alive and with me. Why did this happen to me, it has changed my life forever. I am so sorry for your loss, believe me I know how you feel.XOXOXOXXOOXXOOXOXOX

 

[Mrs_X]

im sorry to hear this hun
it was the same for me too, i turned into a zombie for months. it is true, you never 'get over' it but you do learn to cope better. i found talking to someone really helped me and alot of time helped me too.
(((hugs)))

 

[LilMissCheer]

 

[EMC0528]

I miscarried at 7weeks 2days. I feel so much the same as you do. We have to believe it gets better.

 

[trinaestella]

I typed in google "Teen pregnancy and single forum" and your post came up, about being a teen who's single whilst pregnant & I was about to comment on the post, but noticed how you had miscarried so I went to look for your threads and found this, just so I can say how sorry I am for the loss of your unborn child. Things like this always get me worried and so sad, I am only 5 weeks but I am just thinking it's going to happen to me too
Please please, grieve as much as you can your heart will be broken forever, but stay healthy and stay around the people who love and support you the most, it's such a terrible thing and I can't imagine your pain I just hope that God blesses you with another baby one day, and you are happy, alive, safe and well.

Really sorry, this makes me want to cry xxxxxx

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Im so sorry for your loss, its heartbreaking. I've just went through my second miscarriage now and was ten weeks along and had been seeing the heartbeat and then all of a sudden at my last scan no heartbeat. I've never felt so sad in my life and feel like a zombie aswell for the past 3 weeks now. I have ups and downs and starting feel better than what I was but its so difficult. Take care of yourself xx

 

[Fireflies]

Thanks for all the nice messages & support ladies.
Im still upset & grieving & i still feel guilty. But i had my first good day yesterday, where for a few hours last night when i was with my friends i felt like myself again, laughing & having a great time. Its a bit of a nasty circle though as this morning I woke up feeling guilty i'd enjoyed myself.
But each day im feeling a little bit better I guess.
Im getting a tattoo for my baby though, I think this might bring some sort of peace to my mind & heart. I dont quite know why, but I know its the right thing, for me, to do.

I hope all of you are okay xxx