Crazy Stupid Question

[MissMamma]

Okay so i know i'm completely nuts for even thinking about this and most of you will probably laugh at me and tell me to calm down buuut...

I'm thinking bout baby number two. I know, i know its stupid but i can't seem to get it out of my head. I always wanted my children close together, me and my brothers go 16 17 19 and we're really close and i love it. I want that for my children but i also really really really want to go to college. This is kind of selfish but also it's so one day hopefully i can provide for my lil family the way i awlays dreamed i would when i was younger.

I simply can't think of a way to go to college and have my babies close together. I was supposed to be going this sept but after finding out i was pregnant i decided against it. Should i go this year?!

My OH is super supportive and says he'll support me whatever decision i make and he's willing to stay home and look after LO so we don't have to put her into child care if i do decide to go to college.

So what should i do? Who else is planning on having more children soon after this one and who else is at college or planning to go to college?

Thanks girls..xx

 

[Rachel.P]

hey i've just finished my year at college, and was going to go back in sept but just found out i'm preg so i'm skipping it. it may be 2 years before i go back but i definately want to.
but i'm the same, i want two, close together, but dont want to stay off college too long, i'm desperate to finish my degree!

does your college have a creche?
it's worth asking if they have any childcare facilities.
ours does, but i dont drive so i couldnt get baby to and from college

 

[divershona]

I'm going back to college ... tomorrow actually ... i'll have about 4 weeks off before my LO is born and then i'll be going back as soon as LO is old enough to go into the nursery at 6 weeks old. I know that im going to feel really bad for putting them into nursery when i go back to college in january but as im already half way through my course i need to finish it. The lecturers at college have been really supportive of my decision to try and stay on and finish my course and are going to help me as much as they can.

My course finishes in the begining of june then i'm going to have a year out with my LO before i go to uni so that i can spend time with them and also save up some money for uni ... well try i know that finishing my course at college and then going to uni will set me and my LO up for a better future so thats what im focusing on.

It might be best to speak to your college first to see what options they have for you, they might be able to offer the course you want to do part time for you or they might reccomend waiting til next year to start but unless you ask them then i guess you won't know.

hope i've helped somehow

 

[MissMamma]

My college does have a creche, for six weeks old+. Practically i think we could manage it, its just emotionally i dont know how i would cope leaving my newborn. And i also want to breastfeed, i don't know how that would work either.
Gah! I wish someone would just tell me what to do..xx

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

I suppose you have to think of it in a way of can you support another child? Can you fiancially support them independantly? Does your OH work? I really want another child but I cannot support them without benifts. And I personally wouldn't TTC if I new i would be reliant on them. So I am going to finish Uni and then think about number 2.

If you finish college hun you will be in a much better postion
xx

 

[MissMamma]

I suppose you have to think of it in a way of can you support another child? Can you fiancially support them independantly? Does your OH work? I really want another child but I cannot support them without benifts. And I personally wouldn't TTC if I new i would be reliant on them. So I am going to finish Uni and then think about number 2.

If you finish college hun you will be in a much better postion
xx

That's such good advice hun, thank you. No realistically i don't think we could afford two children without benefits. I haven't really looked at it from that point of view tbh. But i feel like i'm sacrificing family for my education and because of lack of money. I know that to try and raise a family on benefits isn't sensible or something to aim for but i kinda feel that it would be sad to sacrifice family because of it. I dont think money should dictate your ability to raise a family.
I also feel that from now on i should put my LO first, its not her fault shes being brought into this world, that was my choice and maybe i should just be a stay at home mum and try and get this whole parenting thing right..xx

 

[mummy3]

I would defo go to college
I also wanted my kids closer together so we had 2 while at uni and that worked out great! If your college has childcare then its doable and you will have a means to provide at the end!
Its not easy but if you are determined it can be done

 

[Pixxie]

I would go to college, most courses are 2 years and I think 2/3 years is still a close enough age gap. Me and my sister have 3 years between us and we are really close, my OH also has 2-3 years between each sibling and they really close too xxx

 

[Xrachybabex]

i would love another baby after this 1 but im thinking more of going out and enjoying myself now after this baby i couldnt go another 9 mnth being pregnant so soon i just wona have fun when babys here now but it totally up to you what you wonna do xxx

 

[Sophiiie]

I think the best thing to do is see how you feel once your LO is here it'll give you a much better idea of how you can cope in terms of money and time. I think finishing college would definitely be the best option for you, and having a few years between your LO's won't be that much different. I can completely understand what you're saying though xx

 

[AngelzTears]

I say go to college! I haven't started yet and I'm dying to get into it. Plus I would never suggest having a planned baby with someone you're not married to yet. And you have to think of costs, especially if you have a different gender baby - you'll have to rebuy everything, clothes, bedding, nursery things, potentially a new stroller or carseat, etc. So college sounds like a good way to go!

 

[MissMamma]

Plus I would never suggest having a planned baby with someone you're not married to yet.

Can i just ask why?! I'm not planning on marrying my OH but we fully intend to stay together forever and have a family.

And you have to think of costs, especially if you have a different gender baby - you'll have to rebuy everything, clothes, bedding, nursery things, potentially a new stroller or carseat, etc. So college sounds like a good way to go

I haven't bought a thing for this baby yet, and don't need much more tbh! I've been so lucky and been given LOADS of stuff! And i'm really trying not to be too gender specific so the big expensive things are all gender neutral as i know one day i will have another baby..xx

 

[Aidan's Mummy]

Angelz tears- Why should people not plan a baby out of wedlock? Marriage doesn't detirmine the sort of mother you are.Or really give you that more more secuirty as you can easily get a divorce

OP- I see what your saying hun. But college will only take a few years. Meaning a two year age gap which is really ideal. I was sooooo broody and my uni course is 3 years. Which means there will be a big age gap. But the way I saw it was by the time I TTC. Aidan will be at school so on maternity leave I can spend time relaxing and getting to know baby. Just go with what feels right for you and your family. But college courses are so much harder to get onto once you get older due to you having to pay the fees etc
xx

 

[abbSTAR]

I'm going back to a school type place when my little ones born.. Well not untill six weeks as legally I'm not aloud back, but when I do he will be in a creche whilst I have 3 hours of lessons. Then next September when I go to college harley will go to this amazing crèche that's inside the college I will be studying at. And its heavily subsidised so it won't cost me the earth to keep him there. and then I can build a better life for the both of us xx

 

[abbSTAR]

sorry I ment to say... Go for it!