Critisized for wanting number 2 so soon

[Wishing42ofU]

So i made the mistake of discussing my strong desire for another child within a year with some friends the other day. Shouldn't have done it.
Everyone couldn't believe i would choose to have another one with an 8 month old boy now..meaning the age gap if l goes to plan would be around 2 years, which i think is great.
Not that i need them to approve but was just surprised how judged i felt. All of us are in the medical field with one or no children and they all want to either wait 3 to 4 years for another or only have one. I was hoping to be done by 34😁!

Not that it will stop my plans but was wondering if there are other ladies out there told they want number 2 too soon?

 

[button05]

My LO is nearly 10 months and we plan to TTC number 2 in June, so our little girl would be coming up to 2 years old. Everyone is different and everyone has varying ideas of an age gap they'd like, so I wouldn't worry! I have friends with larger and much shorter age gaps than 2 years x

 

[LoraLoo]

It's nothing to do with anyone else- im not sure why people seem to have an opinion on how many children we should have ir what age gap?!

There's 2 years (to the day &#128517 betwwen my youngest 2 and they're really close. I didn't find it difficult at all x

 

[Youngnready15]

My parents tell me I wouldn't be able to handle a newborn with my son being so difficult. They want me to wait but tell me they recommend having babies all done by 30... well Ill be 23 this year with a 2 year old. I don't want to wait to long between my LO now and the future one.

I don't think its no ones business but I know people will always state their opinions but I just talk to my OH and we both get excited about one day TTC and it makes me so happy!!

 

[taybear]

I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. I think a two year age gap is completely acceptable. I mean, it's none of my business, but a friend of my had her baby then got pregnant three months later. I thought that was crazy, but she was happy and a great mother. So who was a I to judge?

Two years sounds like plenty of time for you to bond with your newborn and recover physically from birth.

 

[Wishing42ofU]

Thanks ladies for your replies! They really help because i was feeling like a crazy person for a moment there. I guess anything to do with being a mom means there will be some criticism somewhere.
What i am grateful for is both hubby and i want to try again and my family is supportive and excited for us to try. So i guess i expected the same reaction...oops!

Anyway...i am off to online shop and start prenatals. I didn't do a waiting to try period before so i am loving this build up to that time. Can't wait for July-ish

 

[Louise88]

Ignore other opinions! its got nothing to do with anyone what you decide to do. I got pregnant with number 2 when dd was only 9 months old so 18 month age gap between them both funnily 2 others from my mummy meet pals got pregnant roughly same time so the 3 of us have kids with 18-19 month age gaps. 2 year age gap seems perfectly normal to me.

 

[george83]

Wow I'm totally shocked by this I thought a 2year age gap was relatively normal?! I've got 2 and a half year gap between my oldest 2 and that's only because we suffered a mc before falling pregnant with ds2. I Have got 15 months between ds2 and ds3 though so now that ds3 is 9 months old the thought of having another now fills me with dread!!

 

[justplay91]

We purposely conceived our daughter when our son was 6.5 months old. They have a 15.5 month age gap and it hasn't been that bad so far. Granted, our daughter is only a month old and it will probably get harder when she gets a bit older, but still. Completely doable and my kids still get plenty of one-on-one attention from both of us.

 

[tverb84]

It's your life not theirs so I don't understand why they are making a big deal about it.

 

[fxmummyduck]

Wow!!! Supportive friends.... Absolutely no ones business but I know how hard it is to hear people disapproving of your plans. I've had ils telling me to wait so I don't ruin my sils wedding.

So I'm not telling people my plans anymore and will be ttc before the wedding.

It's your family and it's not up for discussion with anyone else. I think that age gap sounds great if you're ready. My nephews are 25 months apart and my sister is good with it!

 

[MindUtopia]

Everyone will always have something to say no matter what you decide to do. By the time we're able to have another, we'll have a 4.5 year age gap (our daughter is about to turn 3). I'm 35 now. I still get crap from my family whenever I mention planning for another because they just think it's too soon and it will be too much and I should just wait...until when who knows? Because like I said, I'll be 36 at the earliest before we have another. But I think people just like to have their say, no matter what you do.

 

[moonflower5]

You must be so annoyed. I don't know why everyone always feels like it's okay to chime in about other people's families and plans. We were criticized the other way around, for waiting "too long." It's like if you don't do exactly what THEY did, it's wrong. Whatever feels right for you is right for you.

 

[wantingagirl]

i didnt want my girls so close together but thats the way it happened and I wouldnt change it for the world. I get judged all the time that I want a fifth I wouldnt worry about it.

 

[Wishing42ofU]

Thanks ladies! Was totally caught off guard by their responses but I guess it makes sense because they are all very career focused now while I want to focus on family.
But to each their own I guess. Just decided to keep my plans private from now on and just enjoy the process.

 

[BB1982]

My sister got pregnant when she started to reduce her breast feeding, resulting in there being 20 months between them! It was hard work at first and she found it strange that her baby (still under 2) was the older child, but it's great now, they play and hopefully will be very close growing up. I have another friend who plans to try when her 1st is about 15 months, she's only not trying sooner as she is being bridesmaid and is holding off until after that. If it's what you want, do it, and be happy!

 

[Penguin20]

I agree with everyone else, it's up to you and no one else's business.

My daughter is 3 months old and I would love to have another one close together but for financial reasons and where we're living the moment it's just not the right time plus me and my other half agreed we want to enjoy our little girl for a couple years before trying for another one so decided we're going to wait till she is 2/3 before we start ttc but that's our choice and everyone's different

I say do what makes you happy

 

[Weebles]

I don't understand how people can be so critical about this.. And you'll never be able to make everyone else happy. When I conceive I will have a high schooler and an infant..quite the age gap. People comment about that too. My brother and I were two years apart, only off by six days. It was tough at some ages and fantastic at others, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

 

[BSelck24]

So i made the mistake of discussing my strong desire for another child within a year with some friends the other day. Shouldn't have done it.
Everyone couldn't believe i would choose to have another one with an 8 month old boy now..meaning the age gap if l goes to plan would be around 2 years, which i think is great.
Not that i need them to approve but was just surprised how judged i felt. All of us are in the medical field with one or no children and they all want to either wait 3 to 4 years for another or only have one. I was hoping to be done by 34😁!

Not that it will stop my plans but was wondering if there are other ladies out there told they want number 2 too soon?

My son just turned 1 and I can tell you that since then, my urge for another baby has been non-stop! Not to mention that my son was born 4 months early so developmentally and size wise he is an 8 month old! So if it weren't for my husband making me wait until March, I would already be trying for #2!

 

[ser523]

I've never understood why people think they're entitled to have an opinion on other people's lives, especially when it comes to kids. Like, it's none of your business, back off. DH and I got engaged on our 1 year anniversary, but getting married was something we talked about from the beginning because we knew right away. But some people had some negative opinions about it being too soon, BIL for example I know was one of those. And while we don't discuss it, I know that some people think it's too soon for us to be thinking about TTC #1. My mother in particular thinks I should work full time for three years (I'm a teacher and haven't been able to get a permanent position since moving) before we have kids. So I'm just not going to tell anyone until we're pregnant and then they have to lie and say they're happy for us *lol*

But yea, do what is best for you and your family and disregard what anyone else says. It's your life and your family and it's no one else's business.