it doesn't look like anyone has been out here in awhile - but I'll post...
I am waiting for the miscarriage - I think it has 'started' - I am bleeding now - and cramping. Not a lot of blood, probably like the 'start' of a normal period. I am guessing it will get worse - not sure how soon to expect it to get more intense. I'm ok with it. Does anyone know if you can wear tampons while miscarrying? That may sound odd,but, I was really hoping to take my daughter swimming, and this is my week off to spend with her. I'll be very sad if I can't do that with her (one of her favorite things to do). I could see not wearing one for a day or two, but if the worse of it is over, and it's just residual - wonder if I could get away with it.
I remember being told NOT to wear tampons with my miscarriage. Also, You might want to hold off on the pool as well because of possible infection. It does sound a bit odd, I guess It just doesnt sound like you seem to care that you are about to miscarry.
It's not that I don't care
This is the second time around. It kind of hurts that you say that. ok more than kinda.
I'm dealing with it, it hurts like hell, but I'm not letting the grief rule my life. I have a 3 year old daughter, and before I found out I was going to miscarry, I scheduled this week off to spend with her - my husband is out of town, and last year at almost this time, I miscarried as well. Before I found out I was pregnant last year, my daughter and I had close to a week off together to be with ourselves, and the most special time we had was my taking her to the pool EVERY day. I was teaching her to get used to the water, to learn to kick (She was 2), and she was SOO incredibly happy. The memory of that week has stuck with me and I was Absolutely looking forward to that again. To spend that time with her bonding. When I found out I was miscarrying, it dawned on me that not only was I losing my baby, but, the special one-on-one activity that my daughter loved doing SO Much, I wouldn't be able to do. It was like driving the knife in deeper. So I was very depressed about it. I can't do anything about the miscarriage, Nothing. It's out of my control, but to know that the one thing we had planned on doing so much while i was off this week, we couldn't do, was ripping me up too.
Just because someone reaches a 'numb' stage about losing a baby, doesn't mean they don't care. I hurt so much the last time, that I just don't have it in me to go through that again. I NEED to be ok with it, so am doing my best.
I'm not rolled up in a ball on my bed with the door shut bawling my eyes out - but believe me, I WANT to do that. I can't with my daughter here. I'm also going through it alone with my husband out of town on a business trip - so it sucks.
My doctor told me that as long as I only have the tampon in for about an hour or so, it would be ok to go swimming (i was shocked - from what I had read swimming was out). I think it's likely because my levels never got above 200, so this is really no more of an affect on my body(physically at least) than a heavy period. He said with the levels that low there wouldn't even be enough tissue to send to biopsy or test for an issue.
I do have some level of relief, I was scared to death of what this would be like, and I think because the levels never really went anywhere, I won't 'see' anything as it passes. that horrified me beyond belief. to see a baby pass out of you- no matter what stage - is a horrendous thought. I am focusing on the 2 pieces of 'silver lining' in this nightmare, 1. that I can bond with my daughter spending time in the pool, and 2. that I won't be caught up all night or for hours in extreme labor pains as my body tries to pass the little one that didn't survive. If that makes me sound cold or uncaring... I am sorry.
We got pregnant on the first try! I have been a ball or nerves this whole 9 weeks. I have had a few issues alon the way but I am 9 weeks today and NOT bleeding. I see my OB today for a exam and ultrasound.
