CYNICS ONLY PLEASE- I need a reality check

[Crayola2013]

Girls,

I did it. I made up pregnancy symptoms in my mind for two whole weeks. The whole 9 yards- nausea, frequent urination, mild headaches, vivid dreams, increases and decreases in temp, constipation and bloating early on and then diarrhea later (After 7 dpos).

Every time a symptom showed, I'd tell myself to not look into it. But deep down, I knew it. I knew it was pregnant.

The climax on this situation took place this morning. I swore I had implantation bleeding. I woke up every hour to check to ensure my period hadn't started. Didn't sleep a wink. Hubby woke up at 6am and I announced it. "Dear, I am pregnant."

You should have seen his face.

He got up to get ready, I went to pee and there it was. AF. I paced outside his restroom waiting for him to come out and with a tear stained face, I told him I was wrong.

It was horrible.

I am a highly educated professional. I am logical. And inquisitive. I am stern with my emotions. I don't do mood swings (or show them to anyone but myself). My husband is the same. He looked so disappointed at me and my lack of control in this situation. He was understanding but still...

Please help me. Tell me-

How does this happen? How do I ensure that this never happens again? Why did my mind make up these symptoms? Do you have tips to keep sane during the TWW?

This is definitely a low point for me. I need a virtual hug.

 

[rai]

I don't have time to post the response I want (getting ready to go out). But I'm sending you lots of love and hugs! It hurts now but when you do get your bfp you two will think back on this and chuckle. Hugs!

 

[pinkpolkadot]

virtual hug for you but no tips sorry, I am equally as insane during my 2ww

Sorry AF showed and good luck for next cycle

 

[Fleur29]

I was the same last month - completely convinced I was pregnant, but I wasn't. I don't think there is anything you can do differently! It's only natural to think - ooh my boobs hurt or ooh I definitely feel a bit sick - I guess the secret is when that happens to try and stay in control and remember that even if you experience x,y and z, it doesn't definitely mean you're pregnant. I'm ttc no 2 and I had absolutely zilch symptoms with my daughter, so I keep trying to tell myself that pregnancy symptoms don't necessarily mean anything (and nor does the absence of symptoms mean you're not pregnant!)

Anyway huge hugs to you xx

 

[ShamzLovesKai]

Big big big hugs Crayola. Us girls were sooooooo happy for you but we're all here to help each other next month. In a way I'm glad we all didn't get BFP's this month because it meant we could continue to support each other and tell each other we just have to be patient for next month. Big hugs again xx

 

[Mrs_T]

I did this last month, even after negative tests, I was still convinced and then cd40, AF showed up, what a disappointment. But I have to say this month (so far at least) I've not been over thinking things and feel a lot more relaxed so hopefully you, like I do, may have learnt your lesson (don't mean that to sound horrible or condescending in any way btw!).

I've also given myself a distraction project of doing up our house ready to put it up for sale and I think that's really helped so if you can think up some project - even testing out new recipes or reading new books, that might help.

And, lastly, lots of virtual hugs

 

[bluejen]

I don' t think you can stop feeling that way! We just become super tuned to every twinge, pain and feeling. You probably felt those things before each AF you just ignored/ dismussed it as par for thecourse so you would barely notice.

We all get a bit ' odd' in the TWW... i took a test the other day knowing full well af was coming, knowing we only DTD once and at the wrong time! It just makes a bit crazy for a few days.

Come and share your feelings, you will find many a kindred spirit! Xxxxxxxx

 

[Crayola2013]

Thank you girls.

I feel a little better but I am definitely having a bad day.

Is tomorrow here yet? =)

Maybe I should get out of bed and take a shower. It's almost 1pm and all I have done since 6am is pout around the house.

Sheesh.

 

[CKJ]

U just have to tell yourself for every symptom u experience it could easily be hormones or pre period causing it!

When I was pg with my dd I only classed my tww symptoms AS symptoms until I'd got my bfp.

Last month I simply knew I wasn't pg n yet still experienced the odd symptom. This month I feel more chilled in the tww so while have experienced 'symptoms' n feel diff to last month I just think yes but it could b nothing n until AF is late nothing is certain.

That said its totally normal to feel as u felt in the first few month n especially with your first!! Don't b too hard on yourself xx

 

[m.knight]

I used to do this. It got so bad I ended up signed off work for depression and on anti depressants, very, very unlike me as I too am an educated professional woman!

We tried for so long, a part of me eventually just gave up symptom spotting naturally. I realised a bit at a time, each month, that it wasn't happening and started to look for similarities in each cycle that told me I was NOT pregnant. For example, on CD3/4 I would start to get sticky, yellowy CM. I began to take this as a sign I wasn't pregnant and told myself the month that didnt happen, I might be pregnant.

Funnily enough th month I was pregnant, absolutely NOTHING was any different. Signs and symptoms are ONLY in your head. I didn't get any real symptoms til about 6 1/2 weeks pregnant and even then my 2WW "symptoms" were stronger!

It does get easier. I promise.

 

[Crayola2013]

Congratulations mknight! That is wonderful news. Wish you H&H 9 months!!

I am going to keep that in mind for the next TWW.

I made a list of all my symptoms and next to them wrote what was probably causing them (stress, PMS, Ovulation, Yeast infection etc). So I can show my mind that nothing was new.

On another forum someone actually said that I probably had a miscarriage!! Which is obviously not true. If nothing attached, what would I miscarry?

I O around the 30th. I am going to read all your words of wisdom everytime "I feel pg".

Thanks again!

 

[KittyKan]

What do you mean m.knight?? Do you mean you had the same symptoms you usually had all those other times you were NOT pregnant OR do you mean it WAS a different month & that you did feel different; be that different in the respect that you had NO symptoms or that you had different symptoms all together than you had previous months.
Would appreciate clarification, from your prespective because alot of women say this & it's never clear what they mean!
Cheers

 

[m.knight]

KittyKan: every month I wasn't pregnant I seemed to make up all these symptoms - if I had a headache, if I sneezed, if I had a cramp.... Ok they were all things that were happened but they weren't pregnancy related, I just made myself think they were. The BEST one was when I was in the shower and my right foot started to burn, I was thinking, oooh is that a symptom, random burning feet? Turns out the hot tap was trickling on it!!
The only symptoms of a regular, non pregnant cycle I actually had were: Sticky yellow CM from 5/6 dpo, bigger and more tender boobs from about 6 dpo, spotty closer to AF and cramps for 2 days befor AF.

When I got my BFP, my cycle did exactly that. Nothing different. I wasn't hotter, no weird cravings, no temparature change, no sickness. All this started at about 6 weeks or later.

The only 2 different things were 1. I had sharp cramps at 5dpo but ignord them and 2. I caught myself in the mirror naked when walking to the shower and my body just looked kind of different. I didn't even bother testing until 14 dpo as I didn't think I was pregnant, as the cycle had had the same "real"symptoms as other cycles.

Hope this clarifies!!

 

[Pirate]

I think that your heart wants something so bad that you take everything as a sign. A few cycles I've been absolutely gutted when AF came, cycle 6 being the worst. I'm on cycle 7 now and I've pretty much had my fill of symptom spotting and convincing myself that I'm pregnant. Now the only symptom I pay attention to is a late period and will not even test until AF is late. Maybe I've been at this long enough to be cynical though.

So basically what I'm trying to say is to keep your chin up. We all symptom spot at some point and most of us get our heart ripped out of our chest when AF shows at some point too.

 

[hopefulfor1st]

Well when I was pregnant like most women I did not get any symptoms til 6 weeks, so I don't count anything in the "tww"