Dear FOB

[Laura2919]

Today the girls have spent all morning asking where FOB is. Oh my... How hard to explain. So I wanted to write a letter to him, obviously just to vent, not for him to actually see it. I thought it would be good if we all did it if you wanted to of course.
Here is mine:

Dear FOB,
While you are away from this home and playing house with your new girlfriend have you actually stopped and asked yourself what your children are doing? how they are coping? if they ask about you? Nope, you probably havent. The reason being is because you are way too concerned with making people believe I want you home and I am a bunny boiler, maybe if you realised what you did have and what you have lost you wouldnt be so smug.
Has it every occured to you that in all this the only people missing out are your children, you were here and then you were gone, they dont get so much as a phone call from you on the days you are without them, Mummy gets a text to ask how they are? is that really good enough?
I'm done fighting for you to be a dad in their lives rather than just an extra person, the rest is down to you. When they are all big and grown and have families of their own they might just realise you could have done more, a lot more than you did.
So while your life is just how you want it part time dad, full time dickhead just remember I am not losing out, you are and so are your children, so while you believe you are punishing me your also punishing them.
I do hope that once the dust settles you realise just what you caused. You chose to be a part time role in their lives, you wasnt forced to.
You may sit there now madly in love with your new girlfriend but nothing will ever replace the hurt you will feel when your children have a step dad to run to. When they fall over and its him they call, when they go to bed and its him that kisses them and tucks them in, when its him that collects them from school, when its him that teaches them to ride a bike...

And when that time comes.......... You will realise..... Your life was good, you were the only man in your childrens lives... We will see how perfect your life seems then... Because Karma has a nasty way of surprising you when you least expect it..

6 years of my life were spent with you. I am the way I am because of you, you made me insecure, sad, lonely... Not anymore.. I've done more in the past 8 weeks than I did in my whole 6 years with you.....

So always always always remember this. You were there and then you were gone, mummy was there and always stayed........

Laura.


Feel free to write your own below... I actually enjoyed that

 

[AppleBlossom]

I just wrote the exact same thread in GS lol men are such idiots sometimes x

 

[Laura2919]

Lol... I am going to read.. I put it here cos if he does come and look.... BONUS lol..

 

[Brionybaby]

Dear FOB,
I know hates a strong word but right now I HATE you! While your probably on a come down from being on drugs all weekend I'm at home with your daughter, I am ill and would love abit of help right now but obviously not going to get it off you because you chose your scruffy dirty 'girlfriend' over your daughter, you can hurt me as much as you like but when Scarletts being asked where her daddy is when she's in school its her your hurting! She might be too young to realise now who you are but someday she'l realise what an absolute LOWLIFE you are! All you think about is yourself, not once have you put scarlett first! You can't even pay for your own daughter your that much of a dosser!

Oohhh I feel a lot better after that! Thanks for this thread needed to rant! Haha xx

 

[Laura2919]

Feels good doesnt it? lol

 

[Mally01]

Oooh good, ranting therapy, just what I need


Dear FOB,

Seriously, I don’t know how you can wake up every morning with the knowledge that you have fathered a child and you have decided, because of your own traumatic experience (which I think is a LIE by the way)that you want nothing to do with this child because you are scared it will happen again (bullshit), you think you would be a crap father (well, you are half way there, keep going!) and you think you are doing what is best for me (are you delusional??). You have now decided that after telling me last month that a) you can’t live without me, you love me, I am your world and b) You would be miserable without me that it would be kinda okay to just now ignore me and hope that it’s all been a dream.

Not once have you asked about me or the baby’s health, not once have you said sorry about anything. You say you are going through so much shit right now it’s unreal and you can’t cope and feel suicidal and why do you deserve all this crap in life……….. HELLO!!! Karma my friend. YOU treat people like shit, hence life treats you like shit…….bit of a done deal isn’t it?. I hope your wonderful luck continues. I am actually now starting to realise that hell will actually freeze over first before I ever take you back again.

Regards
Mally


if there is any justice in this world (whomever is listening) please make my FOB come crawling back with his tail between his legs just so I can have the lovely pleasure of telling him to jump off the nearest cliff and then completely ignore his calls and texts to see his child or me. If there is a God, you will put that smile back on my face by doing this as this is what the jerk duly deserves. Either that or the next woman he dates does a complete nasty number on him and breaks his heart into a million pieces, either scenario will suffice. Thanks xx

 

[mkm1083]

Dear Jackass,

It has officially been almost 2 years since the last time I saw you. It is your son's 3rd birthday tomorrow. I highly doubt you'll actually remember to pick up the phone and call. You didn't last year so why would this year be any different? It's sad really. Your children have no memory of you. (Hell - one has never even met you.) They barely have any concept of what a father is at all. I hate you for that. I hate you for all of that future pain you will cause when they do understand. I hate you for making me have to explain why daddy doesn't want them. In the end though, it's your loss - not ours. We will be just fine without you.

 

[babydue2011]

Dear sperm donor ...

Spent 3 years with you, made future plans, believed all the promises and just knew it would be us forever. April 2011 changed everything, told you i was pregnant and you begged me for an abortion. Said we were too young and we were not ready for that. said you still had dreams and felt we could not make it through. told me if i had an abortion you would stay for us to work things out or keep it (ie baby) and deal with on my own. Well i chose to keep my baby. i have known from the start i would do this by myself or you may just maybe come around once the baby was here. Well with all the others lies i have been told and believed... you are now in love with your new girlfriend and she is pregnant (6months along with a boy)... you are so happy and proud. what makes her and her baby so much better then mine. what makes you think its ok to be there for him but not my LO. how do you not feel pain or guilt! how do you praise around to all your family and friends... knowning there is another child on the way who will be left in the dark! what kind of man are you! no man at all thats for sure. i am strong and one day will find a man to love me and my son just as his own. One day everybody will know the truth and my son will know just what kind of sperm donor he had! i will not lie to my son. Hope you can deal with judgement/karma when the day comes ... and that day will come!

--The girl you regret having in your life.

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

Dear FOB,

It's too little too late I'm afraid. You've told so many lies to me about how different it will be & how perfect you will be that I don't believe you anymore. I'm not prepared to take a chance with you to see how 'wonderful' you will be when LO is here.

He is not a toy, he is MY son. I don't consider you or your family anything to do with him. You can't keep using him to try and hurt me. Go ahead, phone social services, tell them a pack of lies about what a violent lunatic I am...it worked well last time with the police. Take me to court...go on I dare you. You think your so perfect & have so much to offer my son, you can't even be bothered to remember he exists most of the time.

I do not want you at the birth of my son & stop trying to feed my bull about you wanting to be there for me, you want the control. Well I'm not letting you make my life & my pregnancy total hell just to swan in at the end & look like a perfect daddy. Go take a run & jump!

I'm not giving him your name, I'm giving him mine. A family name to be proud of, from a family that give a damn about him even though he's born out of wedlock & I'm in a shit situation right now. I will not give him your name & put him through what I went through when you fuck off & leave him. I'm not giving him the name of a useless alcoholic father & grandfather. Not.A.Chance!

I do not want to get back with you. I don't hate anyone but I can't stand you. You're a total waste of air, you've ruined one of the most beautiful things in my life. I'm not letting you ruin the joy of motherhood for me. You have one brain cell & you chase it round your head, you remind me alot of my kitten...the one you've always called a ******. You've cheated on me, you have no respect for me, you've dragged me lower than I ever thought I would be. & I don't want or need you in my life. My son will want for nothing. & Even without a 'father' as you call yourself he'll be better of without you than with you.

Stop texting me, leave me alone. I've made my feelings clear to you!

-Karlee

 

[Laura2919]

I'm loving these letters!

Do you all feel a bit better? x

 

[BrokenfoREVer]

I wish...I've said most of that too him & he refuses to listen.

 

[Laura2919]

Yeah same here..

FOB is coming round later, was gonna text and say dont bother but that will make me look bad.. Dont really want him here though but for the girls I better suck it up.

 

[dustbunny]

Dear FOB [SOB],

I hate it that you can play so well at the innocent act that I am actually starting to believe you are a naive little dick. I am sorry that you feel it is essential to run all your messages past your mother first before you send them on to me and do not take any responsibility for upsetting me time and time again. But, in your defence, time and time again I fall for your stupid act.
I also hate that you presume I am a mind reader and get annoyed at me when I can't read your mind and take things on face value. I am also sorry, for myself, that I have to decide upon everything because you are an idiot.
I can not believe the other day when I was upset about the family cat being put to sleep you text that it was a bummer and then got assy when I said how rude you were. I am also annoyed you won't talk about money and only say you will "help as much as you can"... and I hate that instead of using your lecturer as a point of reference as everyone else from Uni does you are using a character reference... no wonder you haven't got a job. Further more... it is not funny you miss an interview because you have read the date wrong... take life fucking seriously!! I have managed to get a job and go to all my interviews on time!
Actually... now I write this... I really don't like you very much and you annoy me. Spending the day with you last week to help smooth things over makes me hate your pathetic ass even more.
And no... you're not coming to the birth so you, my dear sunshine, can fuck right off.

Laura x

PS... the x is out of common decency and not because I want to be swamped by your giant mouth!!!
PPS... the actual thought of sex with you makes me want to become a lesbian... or a nun... I don't know which yet.

 

[Laura2919]

I love the x is out of common decency and not because I want to be swamped by your giant mouth!

love it..

 

[dustbunny]

I love the x is out of common decency and not because I want to be swamped by your giant mouth!

love it..

Why Thank You... the whole process was eye opening!!

 

[Laura2919]

Oh my... Its funny some of the things you ladies have said lol...

Jackass, Sperm donor, Big mouth... Oh God..

 

[littlekitten8]

Aww this is brill!!

Dear FOB,

How are you finding life right now? Fun? I so cannot wait for the 8...yes thats right 8! bailiff companies to catch up with you and screw you for every single penny you owe to both your sons as well as all of the other thousands of debts you have! You have got to be the world's most idiotic person if you truly believe that after abandoning James and writing a letter saying you want nothing to do with him, that he will come looking for you when he is 18!!! Why on earth would he want anything to do with a complete waste of air like you when you've not seen him since he was 11 weeks old?! Do you not realise how much you are hurting your boys when you disappear from H's life for 6 months at a time just so that you don't have to buy him christmas and birthday presents? Well guess what....he hates you too! And quite clearly states, at 4.5years old, that he doesn't want to see you, and has a far better relationship with his mother's OH! You are such an idiot if you think that either of them will ever forgive you. Good luck ever having any kind of relationship with either of the children you chose to abandon and so far owe £8500 to!

Hope the powers that be decide to make you infertile so you can't get another woman pregnant and abandon her too after smacking her about a bit!

P.s - you are a proper skank and need to wash more!

 

[Lemonflower]

I'm loving these letters! They are so heartbreaking and close to home!! I'll write mine when I have more time, it'll prob be similar to Mally's and Brokenfoever!!
I'm so sorry for everyone going through this crap..... There is a light at the end of the tunnel - our children!!! xxxx

 

[babydue2011]

Thank you Laura for the great thread idea! i agree though it is heartbreaking.

 

[Laura2919]

Yes it is. Its hard to understand how there can be so many arseholes in this world.