***December Snowflakes 2012 Parenting***

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sigh said:
Scooby - thats great news!!

expatttc - I know exactly how you feel! We had a good day yesterday where Ellie seemed full and napped well, but then she ended up waking up every 2 hours or less last night and I had to keep feeding her even thought I wasn't sure if she was hungry but nothing else settled her. I was low because of this in the morning. She's used to getting a nice full meal when she wakes up and it took me an hour (!) to put her down for a nap just now. I feel horrible that she probably isn't getting enough and am thinking about quitting breastfeeding. My nipples are red,bruised and blistered from her pulling and fussing the last week. I'm working so hard to make enough milk for her and its killing me physically and emotionally that I'm not enough for her. My sister keeps giving me advice and telling me I'm not eating right (basically that it's my fault my supply is low... she had an oversupply and she weights 90 lbs and barely eats.) but I'm definitely eating properly...I'm even gaining weight.


beanonorder - I've been feeling bad about myself too. It doesn't help that my inlaws told me I look "fat" and "not good" last month. I tried to work out during one of her naps yesterday and couldn't even do 1 sit up. The worst part is I'm going to be a bridesmaid in an indian wedding in 2 months and save to wear a sari (shows part of my stomach). ugh.
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Ah sigh - your in laws suck for that! I originally started doing a few sit ups ups while Amber played on her play mat next to me. Just persevere!
As for bf, I get your feelings. I felt like such a failure when I found out Amber had lost so much weight! It killed me having to introduce formula. But it was for the best and I'm fine with it. Don't give up bf! If you have to just top up with some formula. That way Ellie is still getting the good stuff but also a little extra to gain properly. And use the shields - from experience they really help!!
 
Hey girls...... I'm having sleep problems here too but more in the day. I'm really struggling to get Joseph to fall asleep I'm the day. He will now only go to sleep on me feeding and sometimes I really have to fight to get him to drop off. Once he's asleep he only naps 20-40 mins. Today he's had about 1.5 hours in total sleep in 3 naps. Any noise or movement from me and he's wide awake. No chance of getting him back off. If I'm out and he drops off in the car he instantly wakes when the car stops. He won't sleep in the pram and won't even let daddy rock him to sleep any more. I had to go out for an hour today and he was tired but wouldn't sleep when I fed him before I left so he cried for a full hour for dad as he was so tired.

I'm ending up with a very tired very grumpy boy who's harder and harder to settle as he's do over tired. I feel totally tied to him too. We started putting him up to bed at 7-8pm ish for the last 2 week. Before this he slept downstairs until we went up bed. It's taking me a good hour to get him to bed, then within an hour he's awake again for a feed and a cuddle then again when I go to bed. After that (11pm ish) he's back to his normal 3-4hrs quick easy feed still sleepy straight back into cot.

Any ideas??? I don't really want to have to put him in the cot in the day partly as I don't want to have to be tied to the house for naps but also because it takes so long to feed him and get him soundly off to sleep that is be spending most of the day as well as all evening sat on my bed feeding and settling him!

Mini rant.... But totally pissed off because now it feels like hubby gets the evening to himself... Say downstairs watching whatever tv he likes and on the Internet whilst I'm the only one who can/is doing all the settling??
 
Sigh she is sooo cute!!

Scooby, fantastic news :yipee:

Urghhh Millie used to be fabulous at bedtimes, half waking for feeds once or twice and then straight back down in her basket, but the past week has been hell :wacko: she's had a cough and blocked nose which she caught from her sister and it all started from there. I'm hoping she's back to normal soon as I'm so tired :sleep: we're also trying to make the move of having her in her cot, in her own room, but last night did not go so well! She was down by 8.30pm, fed at 12 and then by 1 she had me up 3x as she was just not settling, so I brought her back in to our room. Attempt no.2 tonight, wish us luck! I was really sad about having her away from me though so was a little pleased when she came back to mummy's room :haha: OH wasn't though!
 
Big hugs and sympathy to all those struggling on the sleep front :hugs: I totally feel your pain.

Tooth - As you know, I'm not best placed to give you advice on the sleep front and I can totally relate to your frustrations with DH. We have taken the same approach - I come and settle Ava but I got so cross spending 2 hours to get her in her cot for 20 mins that I now settle her in our bed and then read etc whilst she sleeps. It's really not ideal as DH and I barely spend any quality time together but I was going insane standing over the cot trying not to move a muscle. Ava won't settle on DH at night either, she'll allow it during the day though - but only after protest. I'm reading Elizabeth Pantley's No cry sleep solution. Once I'm done, I'll have all the answers!! X

Lolly - Good luck! I hope it will be short term pain, long term gain. I'm dreading moving Ava but its got to happen soon - she has nearly taken my eye out with her wild flailing in the early hours.....
 
Sorry to all those struggling with sleep. I'm right there with you. Carter was up every two hours the other night. I had to take a break and have dh do a full night of duty while I slept in the other room last night. I slept 10pm to 5:30 am and then another hour or so but I'm still soooo tired! Weeks- no MONTHS of deprivation takes a long time to catch up from and my mood is dropping again.

Good thing is Carter drank from his new sippy cup last night. As you may know, he's refused bottles for the last two months but I bought him this transition sippy cup by Nuby and he drank out of it! All the milk I had thawed and then more! So happy!

Sigh, I think you could still bf and give bottles on top of it (if she'll take them) to supplement like bean said. I know how sad you must feel, I can imagine it is hard emotionally.

Scooby, awesome news! So happy!

As you guys may or may not know, I've struggled with severe ppd since a major breakdown in January. Well, I've been on zoloft for two months now and it's killing my stomach and with the move I've had no doctor and no insurance. Well, I finally got into a doctor today and have started my therapy sessions. Such a relief to be back under care. I am starting to lower my dose of meds already since the side effects are horrible. So, now I have to hope I don't relapse because the other options for meds while breastfeeding are slim to none. But, I'm so happy to have the support of you ladies here to get me through the tough times and to know I'm not alone!
 
Sigh - Bean and Coco are both right on, and yes first be SO proud of how well you've done. Talk to the ped about the weight issues and then maybe introduce formula to supplement, but I hope you can keep a few feedings so you can enjoy it and still get those warm fuzzies and have a positive end to your bfing

Tooth - I have no advice because going through the exact same. Also experience frustration that I am the main person to soothe LO, but I do ask DH for help and he is eager. Just sometimes I know baby wants me, so it's hard to give in and ask for help. But in the end it's better for everyone if I do ask DH to help. Why do us moms always feel guilty when asking DH to help??

Anyone who finds the magic sleep secret please share! Haha! I'm also reading the No Cry Sleep Solution hoping that it will help. From the Wonder Week book, this should all get better by 19 weeks old. Just have to stick it out.

Kelly - so happy to hear that you are getting good care, that is half the battle.

My LO has been spitting up ALL OVER me today. Always the second I don't have a burp cloth. I'm covered in it. But he's acting normal otherwise. Not sure what's going on with his tummy
 
daydream, Rosa's also spitting up a ton, not after each feeding but at least every other one. She's not burping as well as she did before; I think it's because she's feeding MORE, so frequently to comfort herself and that means she's too full.

We're traveling again and I am seriously thinking of introducing a formula bottle here and there so that I can have some time with DH. I am so looking forward to Rosa's 4 month appointment next week -- not her immunizations -- but to see a doctor, and just have some medical advice on everything. It's hard living away from that institutional support! I think I just need someone to look at her and say 'hey, she's fine. Stop worrying'. Not like that will STOP the worrying, but it will provide a voice of reassurance (you ladies have been brilliant for that). We will be in Australia and Thailand, so will stock up on diapers but also BOOKS -- so I am closely following those that are reading different titles and making a list!

On a different note, this trip will also be the one that we can stock up on baby items before we move to Sri Lanka. So that means buying things that Rosa will need from now all the way to the 1 year mark...good grief. Feeding, chairs, clothing, toys...tips of favorite items will be appreciated...lol....trying to get my mind off of all the problems with shopping! Ha!
 
Oops - posted twice...
daydream, meant to say i'm with you...why DO we feel guilty for asking DH for help??
 
Aaaaand one more from me (sorry).
It's amazing how just seeing something like this makes me feel more confident that we'll get through this:
"Crying: It’s normal for a baby to have bouts of more persistent crying before a particular developmental stage. It may be connected to major changes in the baby’s brain and nervous system when a new developmental challenge is met (Johnson 2005)."
From https://www.thealphaparent.com/2013/03/timeline-of-challenging-early-childhood.html
 
expat - I think we may be doing the exact same thing! I have been nursing him for comfort and haven't been getting great burps today, that must be it!

Also if you like that quote above, you will love the Wonder Weeks book. It tells what skills they are learning and why they are fussing. It also then has tips for you to do with them to help them master their new skills. I adore it, it makes me feel less hopeless.
 
Tooth, missed your post sorry hun :flower: no advice as such as I can only get Millie to take daytime naps by feeding and then settling her on me first, then transferring her to her swing without waking her. Does he sleep well in the pushchair or car? It's a pain but maybe taking him for a quick whip round in either to get him to self settle? Once Millie's fallen asleep in her pram I'll leave her in there until she wakes up, and I have been known to have a little stroll around the street just to get her off!
 
Thanks ladies. I'm going to try a little longer and see if I can get my supply up. She slept well last night so hopefully the rest will help!

Toothfairy - Ellie has been a cat napper since she was 5-6 weeks. She used to nap 15-20 minutes, then it extended to 20-30 minutes and now we're around 30-35 minutes. I wonder if this is a phase because she's been VERY hard to settle the last 2 days and it's taken upto 50 minutes to get her to nap. She went down easy this morning though. I read this sleep blog: https://www.troublesometots.com/ when she was around 6 weeks old and it helped. She used to scream until I started putting her down when I saw the first signs of her being tired. I have a swing in her room and a white noise machine. I put her in the swing (usually crying) and sing or shush her while swaying the swing with my hand. Sometimes I'll pat her or hold her arms down gently until she settles but it usually happens within 10 minutes. If she's in a calmer mood, i'll fold laundry or tidy up her room in front of her while she's in the swing and she'll get drowsy watching me (She can't fall asleep on her own yet though). The white noise machine allows me to go downstairs and do housework without waking her. She was only able to stay up for about 1-1.25 hrs so in the last 2 weeks we've been keeping her up by distracting her so her awake time between naps is 2 hours. Since we've done that, she's taken atleast 1 long nap (45 mins+) almost everyday. I know we'll have to stop using the swing for naps in the next few months but for now it's just easier. I tried the crib and it takes so much longer to get her settles and she'll only nap in there for 15-20 minutes. Hope things get better for you!


Ladies - Does your LO fall asleep on their own? If so, how did you teach them? Putting Ellie down in the crib is like diffusing a bomb... I'm thinking its about time she learned to fall asleep on her own.
 
I just love the fact that so many of you have babies older than Amber. I've been stressing a little that I've been putting her to sleep and then putting her down or at least stayed in the room (also folding laundry!). But its nice to hear that a lot of you are still doing that. Makes me feel a little more confident.

Expat I'm sorry but my curiosity is getting the better of me and I can't remember if you've mentioned it before -is your dh a military man or why is you guys move around?

I was supposed to start work this past Monday but am now only starting this coming Monday. Have had quite a setback as my boss refuses to let me return full time. He is such a sexist a**. As I'm the only one working this is quite a setback. If the situation doesn't improve soon it looks like we'll be forced to look elsewhere and move again!
 
I think self-settling might be a long shot at this age, though some mums seem to manage to do it. I think until they grasp object permanence then being alone is still a scary concept for them. LO falls asleep on her own with a little aid on my part, but I could never just plonk her in the crib and leave as she screams bloody murder.

I'm actually kind of being forced to help her self-settle as for some reason today she's rejected her dummy. So for the first nap and this one I put her down (she of course started to cry) and I started talking to her softly as I went about shutting the blinds and tucking her in. Then I put my hand on her tummy and sung a soft lullaby and she started sucking on her fist and I left the room. She still cried a little but it was very soft and after a minute she just babbled to herself to sleep.

I don't think babies this young can ever truly self-settle without help though :shrug:
 
cococobain said:
I think self-settling might be a long shot at this age, though some mums seem to manage to do it. I think until they grasp object permanence then being alone is still a scary concept for them. LO falls asleep on her own with a little aid on my part, but I could never just plonk her in the crib and leave as she screams bloody murder.

I'm actually kind of being forced to help her self-settle as for some reason today she's rejected her dummy. So for the first nap and this one I put her down (she of course started to cry) and I started talking to her softly as I went about shutting the blinds and tucking her in. Then I put my hand on her tummy and sung a soft lullaby and she started sucking on her fist and I left the room. She still cried a little but it was very soft and after a minute she just babbled to herself to sleep.

I don't think babies this young can ever truly self-settle without help though :shrug:
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That's great!! Ellie can't do that although I've tried many times during the day. She screams and if I try to pat her she eats my hand lol. My mom is always telling me how she just put me and my sister in the crib and we'd play by ourselves and then fall asleep so I thought maybe that's what babies this age are supposed to do... but I guess I'm wrong :)
 
Do you use the crib for anything other than sleep? I recently started putting her down there to just play with her. She cries at first cause she thinks "Oh no, nap time!" but I'll give her a lotion massage and squeeze her feet and talk softly and she quickly starts cooing. I think this helped break that "panic" she had every time I put her in there since it's not just the boring place she has to go to sleep in anymore (it mostly is haha).

I don't think this will really help baby self-settle, but she seems to calm down a LOT faster and is easier to soothe than before.

Oh yeah and my mum says stuff like that too. She said she never heard of a sleep regression, growth spurts or what fussiness is -_-; Must've been nice ha!
 
I still rock or nurse Carter to sleep. Occasionally, I can put him down drowsy and pat/sshh him until he settles but most of the time he cries unless I put him to sleep before putting him in his crib. For the first three months of his life he refused to sleep anywhere but his swing so it's a huge improvement over the last month! It's totally normal. My niece is 19 months old and she still gets rocked to sleep. It's good cuddle times and I enjoy it.
 
I say enjoy it as long as possible with dd1 I got told don't hold her too much. Don't sleep with her for very long blah blah blah and not she's almost 17 months and we can barely hold her lol. This tome over been sucking up every minute.lol and as for sleep dd2 always gets settled by me but daddy doesn't get it easy he has to put dd1 to bed n if she wakes in middle of night he takes care of her.
 
I rock and nurse to sleep as well, for that first lay down I really need to put my LO down asleep or he will cry. He does self settle during the night though, I see him eyes open and then go back to sleep. For now this is fine for us, in no hurry to change that aspect of sleeping. I know it will eventually be good for him but I don't think he's ready just yet
 
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