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[lch28]

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[Keyval]

Same here . Could have wrote this thread . My LO is nearly 9 months Nd still nothing . I hope it comes back soon

 

[lch28]

Its awful isnt it.. i sometimes worry hell stop putting up with it

 

[admiral765]

Could you try positive thinking? I wasn't interested in it that much for the first 6 months but just went along with it to keep my DH quiet! Lol!
I don't know why, maybe I felt guilty but once I changed my negative attitude I began enjoying it again. Ok so it still doesn't happen as regularly as before but at least I don't mind it now! Lol! It's a bit like exercise, the thought of it doesn't excite you so you try and put it off but once your doing it it actually feels quite good! Xx

 

[lch28]

I tried this!! Tried not to dread it etc and it sort of worked.. but still found myself wishing him to hurry so i could sleep ugh

 

[admiral765]

Could you suggest an early night? If my DH tries it at bedtime then I just want to go to sleep coz I'm so tired and value the sleep that I can get so much so I brush him off! Lol! Xx

 

[socitycourty]

I have felt the same. also was restricted from sex for most of hte pregnancy due to bleeding or always some kind of issue....

now I just don't want to. at first I thought it was the breastfeeding. then thought it was the lack of sleep. she still doesn't sleep thru and won't really sleep alone so IDK

I do try and initiate it at least once a week so I can say i tried but i'm just not interested. maybe becaus I'm scared to death of having another baby even tho i'm on the pill

 

[lch28]

He works till 10 pm i hate it. Hes starting to get so mad i can tell.. good idea ill try to initate once a week. Maybe if i plan it ill enjoy it mpre ! How ridiculous ugh!

 

[cococobain]

I think your OH shouldn't be looking at it as "oh, how unfair" considering you just had a baby. Your body has undergone a massive and traumatic feat. On top of that, if you're breastfeeding, then your body is still going through a huge adjustment. My own body has changed so much in it's inner workings since I got pregnant and had LO. My hair is lifeless, suddenly my clear skin is breaking out all over the place, going to bathroom is still a scary process at times, bending down makes my tits hurt, my back is shot (I had a curvature in my spine and the pregnancy made it worse, OH would have to carry me around when I seized up) and I'm left with a frankenstein vajayay.

It's NORMAL to have a low sex drive during this time. In fact, a lot of people don't go back to their usual sex life until after the first year! Honestly when I see girls asking if they can get down to business before the 6 week follow up, it blows my mind. If my OH had been pestering me the entire time for sex, I would have had to have a serious word with him.

That being said, it can be confusing for our OHs as well. I'm sure neither of us expected there to be a "drought" after the birth. I certainly didn't (especially since during the pregnancy I was horny all the time) in fact I remember while I was pregnant we discussed in excitement how my 6 week follow up fell on OH's birthday and how much crazy sex we would get up to then. Bah! :rolls: Not only did I not have the drive to do it, just thinking about having an orgasm gave me a strange feeling of guilt (I'll attribute that to being in permanent mummy mode!)

I think you need to sit down with your OH and have a frank conversation. Let him know that you are still attracted to him, that it's normal to feel like this after having a baby and those sexy feelings will come back, but until they do he needs to not push the issue so hard. My OH never pushed me, but he did secretly wonder if I just didn't find him attractive anymore.

After sitting down and opening up to him our relationship has reached a level of intimacy far greater than what we had before. He's more concerned now with giving me a break from the stresses of parenting and making sure I'm happy than having sex 24/7 and in turn I've started to enjoy sex (and everything that comes with it) and slowly but surely we are getting back into it. Until then, OH has a large enough porn collection to keep him happy

 

[greats]

I know it doesn't sound romantic but me planning it out in my head throughout the day without my dh even knowing we will be having sex really helps! I plan what im going to wear (sexy panties, nightgown, etc), take a shower, put on some perfume, all that stuff. For me I have to set the mood in advance, I can't just sit and decide ok let's do it bc then it feels forced and that I'm only doing it to make my dh happy. But planning it in my head and getting myself in the mood before my dh gets in the mood really helps. Guys don't need to think ahead about sex, you can just touch them and bam, they're in the mood, but for ladies (and especially those who have had a baby recently) we need to take our time setting the mood.

 

[greats]

Also, I've only recently wanted to have sex let alone initiate it! The first few months I wanted nothing to do with it lol

 

[lch28]

cococobain thanks so much. it really bothers me sometimes because he doesn't seem to understand no matter how much i tell him that its not him .. im just not in the mood! OH also has porn.. it doesnt bother me , but when i told a close friend of mine she asked if i left him yet! lol

greats that makes perfect sense!! i really think that when its just like BAM lets do it i dont enjoy it! if i prepare myself (HAHA) and plan it i think ill be sure to enjoy it more!

 

[lch28]

haha, it'll take some time for me also.. not to mention i feel like i look awful. i gained 60 lbs and had GD and i really havent lost much at all like i had planned.. i need a hair cut and a mani/pedi!!

 

[socitycourty]

I could never understand how people have 2 under 1 or 2 under 2 even, I can't fathom having enough sex to get pregnant LOL or even having the energy! My mom had us 2 under 2 and it was a "happy accident", I told her if it happened to me I would die. LOL

 

[bubbles123]

I could never understand how people have 2 under 1 or 2 under 2 even, I can't fathom having enough sex to get pregnant LOL or even having the energy! My mom had us 2 under 2 and it was a "happy accident", I told her if it happened to me I would die. LOL

My daughter was a one hit wonder, that's the only reason I had two almost under 2!
It was my anniversary on Tuesday. I went to bed alone, to sleep, at 8pm. Poor OH, he is a saint, never bothers me about it but I feel bad. I've got to make more of an effort.

 

[onetwothreebp]

maybe becaus I'm scared to death of having another baby even tho i'm on the pill

YES. after asher's birth, my sex life suffered for the first nine months because i was terrified to get pregnant, even though i went on the pill again and made DH use condoms.

thankfully, i began to enjoy sex again and our sex life has improved greatly! (we're also trying for #2 but that's neither here nor there )

 

[Daisy_Delayne]

My sex drive started coming back once I got my period back, around 5 months. I still have days, even weeks when I don't feel like it, but it's much better than before.

 

[keese22]

I have absolutely no sex drive. Im now 8 weeks pp snd still haven't dtd and don't really want to . I'm not worried about pain I just don't want to! I should just do it..starting to feel a bit bad for DH!

 

[bumpbear]

Wth! It's not even that long since you gave birth, how on earth are you supposed to 'enjoy' it! You'd be one of the rare few if you did! Tell OH to read this thread and he might feel a bit less hard done by!

 

[lch28]

I could never handle 2 under 2. I dont wanna ttc till jonathans four!! Lol.