Denied proper access to my daughter by her mother

[angelpkj]

i hate women like this cause itgives other single mums a bad name

 

[LadyRoy]

Check out a site called wikivorce they have a forum for contact and child hearings and some good people on there

 

[gorgeousmumof]

anthony.. cafcass meetings are a chat about you and your child. to ensure there are no issues. they will ask what contact your hoping for, will make sure you can provide for them, have suitable accommodation etc.
they then recommend access to the courts. just be honest with them. good luck.

 

[cluelessnow]

Anthony, good luck with the court hearing.

I'm 23 weeks and though FOB doesn't want a relationship with me, and my first instincts was to shut him out of our lives but after mourning for the relationship (still am), I feel sad that my bubs would not have a father. FOB lives in Canada (moved there in June, a week after we found out I was pregnant) and I'm in UK so not sure how it would work but we are still talking and coming up with a solution because I want bubs to have a father around him no matter what. It's more important to me than my feelings of rejection and fears of how I'd feel when FOB finds a new GF etc etc. I could easily become bitter and prevent access (though I don't even have to do much when he's in another country) mostly because it just painful to know FOB is having fun or building a life with someone else and not me. But I had a hand in bring bubs into this world and he doesn't deserve not knowing his father who is a good man and would love him to bits.

 

[loopylou86]

I will be watching this thread closely.

My friend has just split with his gf and they have an 11 month old and one on the way. She has refused all access to his son although is constantly demanding money from him.

My advice to him is not to reply to the nasty messages she sends and to either agree a certain amount to be given to her monthly or put it aside in a separate account until you can agree. I have also said, give her time as she is clearly angry and upset at present.

I think I may also suggest the letter and mediation to him. I said he needs to sit down and talk to her and even suggested both sets of parents being there. However she arranges a day and then changes it 5 mins later and is clearly playing games, being very malicious and hurting him to much.

Her ultimatum is go back to her and see his kid or dont be with her and lose his kids. However, how can you try to play happy families for the sake of children? Thats not fair on them and I promised him, no matter how long it takes, he will see them.

 

[Laura2919]

My friend had a meeting with Cafcass as her daughter was threatened by her dad saying that if she called her stepdad dad he would kill her to his own daughter, its fathers like that that dont deserve contact. You sound geniunely upset and wanting to see your daughter, the courts will grant access for you but that doesnt mean your ex will stick to it.
FOB has the twins every other weekend and on his day off but is doing overtime at the moment so he comes round of an evening, we have only been seperated 2 weeks but I wouldnt stop my girls seeing their dad.

 

[loopylou86]

Could I get advice re: finances? My friend has been denied access by his baby's mother and is now looking into other avenues.

I have recommended he request mediation to discuss things but I know she will decline as she has done three times already. I have then said to put it in writing that you wish to go through mediation and if she refuses to respond then he is building a stronger case for himself.

The only other issue is money. She is demanding it off of him all the time and I said I think its best they agree a set amount on a monthly basis and if she needs speicific then he can assist but buy them himself and keep the receipt as proof.

What is the best way to deal with the money situation if they cant agree an amount? Should he set it aside until an agreement is made and will therefore have proof that he has been trying to help look after his son? She wants his money but doesnt want him to be apart of the kids life

 

[lynne192]

Hello Ladies

Thought i'd come back with an update, its been a while.
We are going to court.

Well I have heard nothing whatsoever back from the Contact Centre, seems pointless that place now anyway. As me and my ex came to somesort of an agreement where my daughter could spend some time with me for a few hours at the weekend (sat or sun, not both)
Things were going ok, until about 3 weeks ago. It was a lovely day outside, my garden isnt really safe for a toddler so I decided to take my little girl for a run about on the local park. My ex kicked off royal about this afterwards saying I did not ask her permission blah blah. getting grief for taking my daughter to the park! have you ever heard such nonsense? She apologised 2 days later for how she reacted.

Last week when she dropped my daughter off, she flew off the handle because she said 'I was being funny with her' I wasnt attall, I was simply too busy with my daughter to shout 'goodbye'. Anyway, I was threatened with the police if I didnt hand my daughter back to her, I replied 'phone the police, im her dad' "yeah but you have no parental rights and will over my dead body" She said, alomst gloatingly. Anyway, she sent her mum round 20 minutes later to take my daughter, Ive now not sen her properly for over a fortnight.

That was the last straw for me. I went back to my solicitor, told her the situation is now at breaking point. I want to go to court. mediation will not work. I am applying for PR and a contact order. I'd like to know peoples opinions on this please. My chances etc?

Thanks again!

any updates hun how horrible for you. i hope things get sorted why people use thier children as weapons i will never know

 

[JayByrdCMA]

I know exactly how you feel brother, I wish I could say it will get better, unfortunatly it won't, I have a great job and can support my daughter myself, the mother of my child has denied me ALL access all together and has even gone as far as making false police reports against me, she lives with her parents and they pay for everything, I'm 32, she is 28, she is very cold and bitter about it all, don't give up, your daughter needs you to keep fighting for her cause she can't do it for herself, at least shes young enough she wont remember it later, thats what keeps me going, eventually the judge will get tired of it and the law will be on our side, hang in there, I know its hard but we must stay strong, your brother in Christ...Byrd, I hope I helped, trust in God, you ever need a friend I'd be glad to trade emails