Depressed

[Angel022605]

How do you take the stress outta TTC? I'm constantly looking at my calendar and tracking my BBT. I think I O yesterday(I'll have to wait for my 3 day elevated temp) and due to an argument between DH and I we didn't BD last night(7/25). Last time we BD was 7/22 I'm hoping he cools off enough to BD tonight(7/26). I had lots of watery CM on 7/22 and CP was high and open. Praying that spermies live that long or kinda hoping O delays one more day. *SIGH* Does anyone have any stories to help destress TTC? I'll take any advice I can get.

 

[Ellette]

I've heard they can live up to 5 days (according to google). So its quite possible that his swimmers are just hanging out, waiting for their chance.

 

[lomelly]

They definitely can live up to 5 days in there... It's how I got my daughter, sex cd 9 ovulated cd14

 

[Aayla]

oh it is so hard. I am with you. I ovulated for the first time ever last cycle but due to stress from other sources we didn't BD as much as we should have so I know we missed our window. Trying to focus on outside things that are fun and stress free can help. But I am just as obsessed with it as the next lady.
Whenever I get into an argument with hubby I try to apologize soon after. Whether I was right or wrong. I know how trite this can sound but in a time when being intimate is so important I find I need to take a minute to breath, calm down, apologize and never go to bed angry (particularly since we need to bd more days than not).
Try taking up another hobby. Knitting, crotchet, cross stitch. Also, meditation and exercise can also help.
I cross stitch. I am working on a very big project and it helps me focus on something else other than getting pregnant. That is, until I put it down and come on here haha.

 

[bohemiangel]

After nearly a year TTC with no luck whatsoever, I ditched the BBT thermometer, LH strips, and charting alltogether and went on a holiday with my fiance. I'm not saying it works every time, as we've gone on holiday and taken breaks from TTC before, but somehow this time it did it. I'm currently 6 weeks pregnant with our first! Good luck to you and I hope you find something that helps take that TTC stress away. I know it all too well... lots of really good French wine and a trip to the beach did the trick for me!

 

[Angel022605]

After nearly a year TTC with no luck whatsoever, I ditched the BBT thermometer, LH strips, and charting alltogether and went on a holiday with my fiance. I'm not saying it works every time, as we've gone on holiday and taken breaks from TTC before, but somehow this time it did it. I'm currently 6 weeks pregnant with our first! Good luck to you and I hope you find something that helps take that TTC stress away. I know it all too well... lots of really good French wine and a trip to the beach did the trick for me!

Thanks I may just have to ditch the BBT....It's just BBT and CM/CP charting is so addicting

 

[cutestuff]

Thought I would chime in. I have been with my husband for 12 years (married for 5 lived together for 7). We started TTC last June after our 4 year anniversary and silly me.. I thought it would be easy.... I had not been on birth control for something like 5.5 or 6 years so I figured I was regular... I never did the charting or temping as I get confused by it and it felt too science -y, but we stopped being careful and were I guess a mix of TTC and NTNP meaning there were several months we did not time the sex correctly. The thing is the longer you have been with your SO the less frequently you have sex and this is before adding the stress of TTC. Two months before I got pregnant, I went onto amazon.com and order a fertility blend tea and some ovulation tests. I took them the first month and drank the tea until I got my positive OPK, then stopped. The second month, I had a back injury and had to be on muscle relaxants for the first half of my cycle. I did the tea again, and then switched up the sex. I had sex 4 days before I would have ovulated, my predicted ovulation date, and two days later. The last time we DTD I started spotting and spotted on and off for the whole week, then I went to a workout class and noticed I looked insanely huge and my boobs were not as happy as they usually were with the work out, so I decided if I went the whole following day without any spotting or bleeding, I would take a test a day or two later as I normally spot some before my period and was not sure if I would start or not... I tested and it came back positive... Now I am 20 weeks pregnant and let me tell you, I have no idea what did it, but I do know that when you least expect it is when babies are conceived. Don't listen to anyone who says relax and it will happen because that doesn't change or help what is happening and you know your body, but I will say give it time. Unless you have been doing all this for at least a year, your time could be just around the corner... you never know...

 

[MagicDance]

It gets harder each cycle I have what I call a vicious circle of blaming myself and then guilt of things I could have done better and should of done
Then I look at my wonderful parents and want to give them the best gift in the world which would be making them Grandparents. I never got to meet mine and I often wonder if they would be proud of me
Im sorry, Im feeling over emotional and I just wrote my letter to Mr storky too! hehe.

These are some of the things I have been trying lately -

I temp and use OPKs because I find it helpful. I also have the app Ovia.

Agnus castus (Vitex) to help balance and help hormones and my cycles I take just up to Ovulation.

I have been using Preseed and we have been trying to follow the SMEP approach.

Other than that just know you are not alone and there are plenty of people who feel just the same as you. This place is a lovely support network

Goodluck x

 

[swimmyj1]

hang in the angel it isn't easy. I was in the same boat as you. I found myself staring down my calendar trying to figure out if i need to change my schedule at work to give me a better chance or cancel a trip with my friends to stay home and bd. and that just isn't a healthy way to live.

Honestly i tried for a few months not using opk's or anything and I actually found it more stressful than knowing what was going on. and i definatly check my FF app to see when it thinks i will ovulate and things like that.

But I did start becoming more involved with hobbies, and I actually email/skype with a few girls on here who are having a hard time ttc. That has been really helpful being able to vent back and forth to them.

So if you ever need to vent feel free to email me. it really feels good to get it off your chest. sending lots of hugs and baby dust your way.

 

[Sam10]

I'm right there with you in the depression department. September will make 3 years for my husband and I. I have gotten to the place where I can't even be around pregnant woman. I hate my body. Hell, I hate everything at this point. I haven't found anything that has brought me any comfort with this struggle. So I can't give advice but I sure could use it as well.

 

[swimmyj1]

Sam10 - im sorry when going out its crazy how fast i notice pregnant women or girls that have a little bit of a belly I'm wondering if they are. I wish i knew how to stop that

 

[baby_rose]

Stressing can kill you I've been there here is my story for hope girl

24 here I tried for 15 cycles (some cycles were super short) est about a yeAr and nothing, it became emotionally straining so I gave up focused on something new (weight loss) actually got back on the pill but it threw off my cycle I spotted for over a month so I went off of the pill after two months used protection for the next month and in June left it to chance and here I am 11 weeks prego 😊 partially for me it may have been my weight it may have been the bcpills made me fertile? Or the fact that I wasn't trying I was focused on my birthday month (may) I had lost about 30 pounds I was happy out and about and July 3rd got my bfp lol

My best advice give digital ovulation tests a try for a few months and if not then just leave it to chance girl the less stress the more chance u get for your little bean trust me I used to get annoyed when girls would say to leave it to nature and not try but reality is that they were right good luck to all of you

 

[raine87]

I am right there with you. I too am getting irritated and depressed with this whole process. Everyone keeps telling me to "just have fun with it". We do. Plan and simple. This hasn't taken over our lives but it also doesn't feel good when your body lets you down. I too have been trying to do more relaxing things this month like crafts (cross stitch and quilting....Christmas will be here before you know it). I have also been making sure I take my prenatal vitamin and vitamin B complex. We are currently on cycle #10 of actively trying. Keep your chin up.