Depression

[momwithbabies]

I posted this in my journal, but I’m not sure anyone reads it there anymore.

Here I am...year 10 of desiring another baby. I think my depression has taken a turn for the worse. I can hardly get out of bed, endometriosis pain is excruciating. I’m feeling better physically today, but my mood is bleh. I have no desire to do anything. I feel like I’m walking through a cloud in my existence, if that makes any sense. I feel guilty for being depressed, but I can’t shake it. I have this internal dialogue in my head all day about how I should just snap out of it. I’m being a baby. You are fine. But I can’t help this feeling of hopelessness. I’m not suicidal, as I wouldn’t do that to my husband or kids. But I just don’t want to do anything or be anything anymore.
I think I got in my head too much this cycle. I saw a faint line on a test, but I started my period a couple of days later. Now I’m battling saying something, or just keeping it to myself. I mean the outcome is still the same. No more early testing for me.
Top it all off with working as a first grade teacher with children who have experienced trauma, thus they do violent and disturbing things...I can’t drag myself into work these days.
I took my husband’s advice and booked an appointment with my GP.
Any experience of TTC while being on meds for depression/anxiety?

 

[mimi4]

I am sorry to read your story, no first hand experiences, but I agree with your husband, and wish your dream come true as soon as possible

 

[blueblue]

I'm so sorry to read your story too, I hope it works out soon. I had a different experience (primary fertility issues with multiple losses, no secondary issues) but felt so helpless after my losses. It was like a dark cloud, a huge weight on me. I know this is a bit random but I had acupuncture (to help with the losses) but it also helped emotionally, before I became pregnant with first successful pregnancy I felt like a weight had lifted my shoulders. It may also help with the endometriosis?

If the endometriosis is causing excessive bleeding (sorry, I don't know much about it), get your serum ferritin levels checked (they are your body's iron stores rather than the blood levels, these should probably be checked too), if they are on the lower side but not neccessarily a clinical level it can make you feel awful (I had this, think the miscarriages probably contributed).