Determined to get a sticky BFP?

[californiamom]

Hi ladies. I've been thinking a lot and I've made the decision to NOT have another m/c. I know ... wishful thinking. Anything is possible but I am going to do everything in my power to get a nice, sticky BFP. I want to be holding my new baby by this time next year ... or at least be approaching my due date. Who's with me?

The doctors are not taking me seriously because (1.) I have only had two, not three, miscarriages. (2.) I already have a child with the same partner. (3.) I'm not 35 yet.

So ... I am taking this into my own hands. I've researched a lot and this is my game plan.

- Already called the DR this morning and demanded that they test me for whatever they would test me for if I had already had the third miscarriage. I go in next week.
- Making changes to OH's sperm quality/quantity/motility. I got some great information from Mayo Clinic. It says to allow 60-72 days to see an improvement but you need to make sure OH does not engage in tobacco/elicit drugs, limits or stops alcohol consumption, takes a multivitamin that contains both folic acid and zinc, avoids hot tubs/steam rooms/laptop on his lap, etc. He also needs to ejaculate daily (contrary to most studies that suggest waiting 48-72 hours before having "baby sex.")
- Both OH and I are not overweight but we're both going on a diet. You can't be too healthy.
- Avoid using over-the-counter lubricants and/or saliva as a lubricant. We only use Preseed.
- I'm taking Prenatals, Vitamin B6 and baby aspirin.

Here's the Mayo Clinic article on Healthy Sperm if anyone is interested: https://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fertility/MC00023

That's my action plan to get my BFP. We've started to make these changes and we'll wait two cycles for my body to recover and for his sperm to improve (hopefully) and we'll start trying at the end of June. The second that I get my BFP, I am calling my doctor and demanding that they check my HCG and Progesterone. I can't just sit back and wait. And, although I'd love to and I've thought about, trying again this cycle ... I need to know that I've tried to find the problem first.

Anyone want to buddy up?

 

[Allie84]

Good plan, California mom. I read the same thing about Vitamin B6 and baby aspirin and am going to add those to my prenatal vitamins.

I'm curious about your plan for OH. Does sperm quality really have a role in MCing? I've never heard that but if that's the case I'm all for having my hubby take steps to improve his lifestyle. Do you have a link or anything I can read to show my OH? I guess I just assumed once I was preggers it was all on me.

Good luck with your docs. Keep us informed on what happens.

 

[Sydd]

Well done for demanding the tests be done.
Wish you the best of luck x

 

[californiamom]

Allie, I referenced an article above regarding steps that OH should take to improve his sperm, more abnormality than actual sperm count. The article tells you more about what can cause these abnormalities. I showed my OH and it totally worked because he knew he was guilty of poor lifestyle. I have researched a lot and found that approximately 40% of miscarriages are caused by the male, not the female. Here's a quote that correlates the two:

"Miscarriage more common with low sperm counts
Women experiencing miscarriages typically had husbands with lower sperm counts. On average, 48% of husband's sperm appeared "abnormal" (i.e. 2 heads, 2 tails, etc.) under microscopic examination. Men who fathered normal pregnancies had 25% higher sperm counts and only 5% visually abnormal sperm."

If this is your first miscarriage, it could just be chromosomal and not anything that you can really do to prevent it from happening again. BUT if your OH is a smoker, wears briefs, frequents hot tubs, works around hazardous chemicals, is overweight, etc., it could very well be the cause and it may happen again. This is my case. I know that he can be healthier and, hopefully, it will improve our fertility.

Good luck!

 

[Chimpette]

Hi Californiamom,

I'm in the exact same boat as you.

We already have a son, but have had 2 MMC one at xmas and one 2 weeks ago. I have a scan tomorrow to see if baby has come out, if not then I have to have another D&C.

My plan was also to give my hubby some vitamins with Zinc and folic acid, I think we're going with the pregacare his and hers conception, so I'll be taking them too, starting from this month, we're going to be trying again in August to give my body time to get back to normal. I guess we're lucky that we don't smoke, take drugs, only drink on occassions, hubby is a very fit rugby, weight lifting player so I'm hoping just taking these vitamins will help us get our sticky baby!

Fingers crossed for us both, it would be great to keep in touch and check how we're both getting on, seen as our cases are so similar!

xx

 

[tas]

Hi ladies. I've been thinking a lot and I've made the decision to NOT have another m/c. I know ... wishful thinking. Anything is possible but I am going to do everything in my power to get a nice, sticky BFP. I want to be holding my new baby by this time next year ... or at least be approaching my due date. Who's with me?

The doctors are not taking me seriously because (1.) I have only had two, not three, miscarriages. (2.) I already have a child with the same partner. (3.) I'm not 35 yet.

So ... I am taking this into my own hands. I've researched a lot and this is my game plan.

- Already called the DR this morning and demanded that they test me for whatever they would test me for if I had already had the third miscarriage. I go in next week.




- Making changes to OH's sperm quality/quantity/motility. I got some great information from Mayo Clinic. It says to allow 60-72 days to see an improvement but you need to make sure OH does not engage in tobacco/elicit drugs, limits or stops alcohol consumption, takes a multivitamin that contains both folic acid and zinc, avoids hot tubs/steam rooms/laptop on his lap, etc. He also needs to ejaculate daily (contrary to most studies that suggest waiting 48-72 hours before having "baby sex.")
- Both OH and I are not overweight but we're both going on a diet. You can't be too healthy.
- Avoid using over-the-counter lubricants and/or saliva as a lubricant. We only use Preseed.
- I'm taking Prenatals, Vitamin B6 and baby aspirin.

Here's the Mayo Clinic article on Healthy Sperm if anyone is interested: https://www.mayoclinic.com/health/fertility/MC00023

That's my action plan to get my BFP. We've started to make these changes and we'll wait two cycles for my body to recover and for his sperm to improve (hopefully) and we'll start trying at the end of June. The second that I get my BFP, I am calling my doctor and demanding that they check my HCG and Progesterone. I can't just sit back and wait. And, although I'd love to and I've thought about, trying again this cycle ... I need to know that I've tried to find the problem first.

Anyone want to buddy up?

I love it, just what I needed today, found out I had mc number 2 yesterday, and I want answers. I too am demanding tests. I think its a joke how they seem to just leave you to get on with it in first tri. Next time I want my levels checked too. so I am totally with you. Me and my oh are also waiting 2 months before trying again. Loving your possitive attitude. xx

 

[padbrat]

A good positive attitude is what I need I think... i was wondering about hubby's sperm as well... he is very fit, but does a lot of triathlon training, which means long hours on the bike... I have spoken to him and he says he will ask to be tested when I am tested so we can have every chance of finally having a baby that stays with us.

 

[kelster823]

AWESOME PLAN sweetie

my DH is overweight- all in the tummy- so maybe I will show him this and have HIM start doing something instead of just me.....

NOTHING BUT PMA in here...

 

[padbrat]

Well, I didn't know that 40% of m/c were due to sperm! What a shocker... so I think they should experience a little of what we have to...

Show hubby Kelster - it might make him feel a little more involved?... LOL

 

[kelster823]

I didn't know that either Padbrat....

I know he feels horrible for what I am going thru-- between the 2 MC and now these frigin preogesterone pills that are making me SICK... but ummmmm yep his turn

 

[padbrat]

I know what you mean Kelster... I think hubbys react differently to us... well, mine does anyway! Told him yersterday when I started spotting that I needed to completely relax and rest and this morning he was calling me a couch potato because I was still in my pj's at 9.30am! When he came home for lunch I told him that he shouldn't have said that and that I was upset with him and feeling down... he just laughed and hugged me and said he was sorry, he didn't mean to upset me, he was only joking.. he just wants to see me smile.

It is hard not to get annoyed with him, 'cos he is just going about things as normal and I am here losing our 4th baby! Just need to keep in mind this is how he deals with things.

Sorry for rant...!

Am I being nosy by asking what the pills are for? Don't feel you have to say... or pm me if you would prefer...

Noticed you are in the US. We are heading across the pond in July for a holiday, have a place in Florida with all the rest of the Brits LMAO .. think I will need it! LOL

 

[kelster823]

UGH I swear..but yeah sometimes we need to put ourselves in their shoes.. They feel so HELPLESS... and I feel horrible when I do snap or talk back to DH.... I look at it as a no win situtation they don't know what we are going thru yet we don't know what they are thinking or going thru especaily mine--- he is a clam...

oh no I don't mind.... my progesterone levels were EXTREMELY low when I went in last week due to the spotting... and I THOUGHT I WAS 7 weeks 2 day on that day

history:

BFP on April 3rd, first GYN visit April 7th... checked my cervix-said nice blue purple color, gave me a due date of Dec 8th, and sent me on my way- just scheduled an Ultrasound for April 30th...

started spotting April 22nd, called and said I want to come in for a scan tomorrow April 23rd... the 23rd woke up bleeding heavier and brite red.... went for scan- no sac found, so he was concerned- took blood finally to see what my BETA levels were ( to see just how afr along I was) and my progesterone levels..... went back this past Monday for 2nd blood work and he tells me I was only at a BETA level of 98- so I was not as far as we thought I was BUT my progesterone levels were only a 1.... a frigin 1.... I should be at 12 or higher based on my BETA levels so he put me on the pills..

so now I sit and wait for my results today from Monday to see where I am at... sorry for the LONG post

oh how nice where in FL???? I haven't been there since 2004- went to Disney for our 10yr anniversary....... we go north to Maine in July for 2 weeks.. such beautiful country up there

you ENJOY RELAX and just soak up the sun!!!

 

[padbrat]

Wow, Kelster you were 1 day ahead of me... my BFP was April 4th...
And your experience sounds so familar to what I have at the moment... I think over here they just check hcg levels and the one and only time they did that (last Monday) they were good, I have never had my progesterone level checked on any of my pregnancies...maybe that i why I am m/c all the time?

I am also convinced my dodgy thyroid might play a part as well... though no one has ever checked it when I am pregnant, they just assume that the 125mcg I am on is OK...

Well, if I do m/c this one (looking likely... still spotting since Monday after the 2nd scan) the hospital have said they will def investigate us... though I think it is barbaric that they make us have 3 m/c before they investigate!

Do you have any idea when the results will be back? I really hope they are what you want x

You are obviously far wiser and more patient that I am with my hubby!

I love long posts... feel free to write me any essays you want! LOL You may have noticed that I am rarely short of words! LMAO

Our place is in Davenport, about 10 mins from Disney. We have had it for a few years, but have not been able to get out there for the last few years as it has been booked up! So, we are going to have a week of updating stuff in the house, meetings with management co etc then a week to ourselves, probably go out to Sanibel Island or St Petes for a few days or maybe Fort Lauderdale as we really like it there.

I have been to Maine once, we did a road trip from Boston to Niagra and Canada and ended up visiting loads of places like Cape Cod, Vermont, Conneticut, New York (of course), Plymouth, Marthas Vineyard etc... really had a great time!

We both need to relax... sun has gone in here, but have consoled myself with a bowl of strawberries and Ben & Jerry Phish Food... my favourite! LOL

 

[kelster823]

hmm I think you may want to ask them to check your levels..... if I hadn't been doing research I don't think they would of checked my progesterone levels.... and that level is so CRUICAL in the 1st tri......... or until the placenta takes over....

that sounds like a WONDERFUL VACATION.... we are going away the 1st weekend of June to Wildwood NJ (down at the shore) right near Atlantic City.. gonna totally enjoy myself that weekend

umm strawberries sound YUMMY but believe it or not I am not a big ice cream gal.. LOL

 

[padbrat]

I will definately ask to have that tested ... do you still have to be pregnant when they test? I am not due back to hospital until next Wed for mt 3rd scan...Sorry if that is a stupid question... Of course that is if I don't have a full blown m/c in between times...

Isn't Atlantic City a big casino place? Sounds like it would be loads of fun there! LOL But then again, I love anywhere I can spend hubby's money!

Well I am not too much of a fan of ice cream... but Ben & Jerry's Phish Food is an exception to the rule... and they only use dairies that are nice to cows!

 

[kelster823]

umm no I don't think so, have you always been regular?

see what tipped me off is that I am and never was regular.. but never worried about it before because DH and I just went along with life and if we got preggos we got preggos....

not that it wasn't something we have always wanted because we sure have----we just decided that if it happens it happens and happen naturally....

so after 18 years.. yes 18 years of unprotected I finally fell preggos last summer so I was SAD but happy to know I can... but when that happened I never thought about asking my OBGYN to check my prog levels.... until this last MC.....

even my sister in law had her checked the other day (BTW looks like as of right now she is OK) because of my situtation


yep AC is the big casino place.... but we wil be about 20 minutes away.. we do about once a year to AC... to temping to loose money

aww man Californiamom sorry for highjacking your thread...

 

[tas]

I have spoken to midwife today and told her how angry and upset I am and she has refered me for rec mc testing today!!! yeay just got to wait for my appointment now. x

Kelster 18 years!!! aww hugs hun lets hope your pills do the trick then they will be worth the sickness , I dont know much about progesterone levels except mine were 3. what should they be? x

 

[kelster823]

I have spoken to midwife today and told her how angry and upset I am and she has refered me for rec mc testing today!!! yeay just got to wait for my appointment now. x

Tas sorry to sound stupid but what is a REC MC testing? recurring testing?

have them check your progesterone levels too...

we have friends that are a bit older then me and hubby... and they to were also having troubling and she finally had her levels checked and dang skippy it was low preogesterone levels.. they gave her the medication and she finally had 2 healthy babies... they were 42 (her) and 48 (him)

I am not saying that is could be the MIRACLE but ya just never know.. like I said it is such a crucial level we need in the 1st tri

WISH YOU LUCK AND THINKING OF YOU keep up updated

Kelster 18 years!!! aww hugs hun lets hope your pills do the trick then they will be worth the sickness

thanks hun

 

[kelster823]

ohh 3 is LOW sweetie very low.... mine was 1 last Friday with a BETA level of 98.... and the doctor was seriously concerned....

you regular???


Week 5 - Gestational Age (Fetal age 3 weeks)

Progesterone levels also can have quite a variance at this stage of pregnancy. They can range from 9-47ng/ml in the first trimester, with an average of 12-20ng/ml in the first 5-6 weeks of pregnancy

here's the website I am getting this info from

https://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/earlyfetaldevelopment.htm

scroll all the way down for the prog levels

 

[tas]

recurring miscarriage testing so they will take bloods and swabs I dont know what else and do a proper investigation. Im 36 so I think thats why I convinced her to refere now. Not that I think anyone should have to wait I truely am apauled by this waiting game its not right.
do you know what the progesterone levels should be?

thanks x