Determined to get a sticky BFP?

[tas]

I've asked this in the LTTTC thread but haven't got any answers so far -

My OH and I got married 7 years ago, and started trying straight away. I have a 20 year old and he has a 12 year old from previous relationships, neither of which we had any difficulty in conceiving.

However, nothing happened for us. After a while we got some tests done, and a post coital test showed that I had killed off all his sperm, so we were told that I was hostile to him. We were told it would not be impossible to conceive, but very unlikely.

Anyway, after a few years we sort of got used to the idea it was never going to happen and got on with life.

However, completely out of the blue in February, we fell pregnant. I had a MMC at 9 weeks.

We have been completely thrown by this - we thought it was not possible for us to conceive, now we know it is. But, I am 42, mearly 43, and time is running out for us. We are definately thinking about trying again, but we are too old for assistance on the NHS and to be honest the odds of success are so small its not something I would want to consider paying for.

But - can we get a referral to anyone that could advise us on what we could do to maximise the chances, rather than full IUI/IVF? It's not necessarily as straightforward as just trying again - I haven't got 7 years to hit the jackpot again .

Can anyone advise whether we can get any help as this is all new to me? I am in the UK.

Hi hun, firstly im sorry that you are going through this I know how horrible it is when you desperately want a family with somebody. Im not sure if its what you are looking for but some clinics such as mums do an initial consultation but it costs £200 pounds and Im not sure but they may be able to ppoint you in the right direction. The good news is you know that the two of you can get pregnant. Im sorry if thats not much help x

 

[kelster823]

Morning ladies...

How is everyone today? feeling better I HOPE

was a tad quiet ysterday, as I had much work to do before our company strike that is suppose to happen at midnite tonight. UGH

anyhoo

yesterday I was confirmed I had a complete M/C- it wasn't anything different that I expected hear but everyone else I guess did- so I got the OMG are you ok bit...

I told everyone, I have known since last Friday I was M/C... and I told you that, why would you be so concerned now?

so now I go back in today for my Rhogam shot in the arse and go back in another week to make sure my HGC levels are at 0.....

mucho love to everyone....

 

[padbrat]

Hey Kelster.
Nice to have an update from you.. was getting worried 'cos we hadn't heard from you xx

Sorry you have had the confirmation - it is soooo sad. People react to your sad news so strangely don't they? I hope work isn't keeping you too busy or stressing you, you need to have BIG TIME TLC lady! That is an order! LOL (aren't I the bossy boots)!

How are you feeling now? How is Hubby dealing with it?

I told hubby last night that if I lose this one (still spotting... not good) he is giving up his precious road racer bike for a while and is on Wellman vits... PMA from Californiamum is doing wonders! LOL He surprised me by saying OK and I should order the vitamins and that he was feeling sad by all this too...

Are you away this weekend? If so I hope you get spolit rotten! We were supposed to be going to the Army Navy rugby match (which is brilliant and we have a fab time), but with all this we have decided not to go... we can go in years to come, but I don't feel up to it now.

Squishy hugs at ya Kelster xx

 

[kelster823]

Hey Padbrat---
still spotting? but is it heavy? I am sorry sweetie you are still going thru that.. my bleeding stopped yesterday and honestly it was like a normal period for me, I really wasn't in any unusual pain as it was def not like the one I had in Oct

Hubby is fine, he is sad too but honestly we are both being strong for each other- we have too or this would be one heck of a sad household...

but my day just go even better:

. dam pharmacy... never called me yesterday to tell me they don't have the Rhogam in right now.. so I went to pick it up just now because I have a 10am appointment to get the shot and they look at me say oh no one called you to say it may not be in today

WTF????????? I NEED THIS SHOT.... I am O- and Jeff is A+ and it could do me harm if my blood and the embroy's blood mixed during the MC

I AM SOOOO PEE ODED right now

noep not away this weekend- just gonan hang around the house and get yardwork done.. gonna be a hot one close to 89 degrees...

I am gonna go out with the hubby have a few beers and RELAX...

oh I wish you would go just so you can for a moment forget and enjoy but I COMPLETELY understand your decision... I did that last week when I decide not to go out for the NFL draft day---( me and hubby are HUGE HUGE football fans )

 

[padbrat]

yep, still spotting... not heavy at all, but very dark brown... and no clots (TMI.. sorry). Like you said not anything like my other 2 m/cs which were very hard, painful and bloody. Hospital said stay at home unless in a lot of pain or bleeding heavily... well, neither of those are happening. Knowing my luck it will happen at the weekend and it is a bank holiday on Monday and I will be stuck in A&E for hours on end bleeding away....

I can't believe the pharmacy messed up like that... what is the shot for? Is it because of your blood?

I wish it was going to be hot here... nope cloudy and cool... typical England boo hoo! Would love a bit of sunshine so we could get the BBQ out and then I could drink non alcoholic beer and hubby could drink Guiness and get merry! LOL

What team do you support? i guess with a place in Florida we should support the Miami Dolphins or the Tampa Bay... can't remember who they are ... Buccaneers maybe??? LOL Of course football means something entirely different to us across the pond people! LOL

 

[kelster823]

yep, still spotting... not heavy at all, but very dark brown... and no clots (TMI.. sorry). Like you said not anything like my other 2 m/cs which were very hard, painful and bloody. Hospital said stay at home unless in a lot of pain or bleeding heavily... well, neither of those are happening. Knowing my luck it will happen at the weekend and it is a bank holiday on Monday and I will be stuck in A&E for hours on end bleeding away....

I can't believe the pharmacy messed up like that... what is the shot for? Is it because of your blood?

I wish it was going to be hot here... nope cloudy and cool... typical England boo hoo! Would love a bit of sunshine so we could get the BBQ out and then I could drink non alcoholic beer and hubby could drink Guiness and get merry! LOL

What team do you support? i guess with a place in Florida we should support the Miami Dolphins or the Tampa Bay... can't remember who they are ... Buccaneers maybe??? LOL Of course football means something entirely different to us across the pond people! LOL

no that's not TMI..... I am just so sorry you have to go thru this

the shot is called Rhogam it is antibodies--- weird I know but since my bllod is O- and my hubby's is A+ we don;t know what the baby's could if been so it turned out it was A+ and we mixed during the MC it could harm me

but the pharmacy called back and tey had it so I just got back from the doctor's-- a paper cut feels worse then getting this shot... maybe cause my arse is big I don't feel it. but at least its over and just gotta wait til next week for my blood to make sure I went to 0 and have a consult with my doctor to see what the next step is.....

sorry it's yucky theer today..... hoepfully soon warm waether will be amoung you and you can enjoy

we are Dallas Cowboys fans.... we take a trip every two years to Dallas Texas to see a game at the stadium.. it is a GREAT weekend and we have a lot of fun.....
but yeah there are 3 teams in Florida... Dolphins, Bucs and the Jags.... LOL yeah I kmow it means something completely different over the pond.... if you get a chance go to one of the games they have now each year... this year I BELIEVE there will be 2 NFL games played at Wembly.... you will enjoy it...

ok off to sit out in the sun and get some color on my pastie skin

ENJOY!!!!

TTYL

 

[californiamom]

Padbrat, I'm so sorry that you're still in limbo. That's great that your hubby agreed to give up biking for awhile and take his vitamins! I truly hope that it's related to your miscarriages so that you get your "fixable" reason. You should wait at least two months before trying again.

It's been two weeks for me and I'm still spotting dark brown. If it doesn't stop by Monday, I am calling my doctor. My last m/c was a D&C so I have no idea what to expect this time around. I think I am ovulating right now though because there is EWCM mixed in. Assuming my body is carrying on as normal.

Kelster, sorry the pharmacy never called you. This experience is traumatic enough. The last thing we need is errors concerning our medical care. It's so shocking to me that they can be so insensitive. The day that they confirmed my complete miscarriage, they expected me to stand in line with about 20 pregnant women to check out and pay my co-pay! I told them that I couldn't do it and the nurse tried to get an administrator to check me out in the back but they refused. I'm standing there with tears in my eyes and they say I need to wait my turn? The nurse finally said they would bill me.

This week has been so busy with out-of-town guests and fun activities like Las Vegas, Disneyland, hiking canyons and golf. It's been such a great distraction! We're already into the month of May so just 2 more weeks until my next period (hopefully) and about 6 weeks until we can try again! Padbrat & Kelster, will we be ready to "get back on the saddle" by July?

 

[kelster823]

Padbrat & Kelster, will we be ready to "get back on the saddle" by July?

yep I SURE WILL!!!!! July for an April baby sounds AWESOME TO ME.... LOL and that is hubby's bday month too.. what a wonderful birthday it would be

that is horrible they made you wait like that... thankfully I have a really nice doctor's office, they have been nothing but wonderful and undrertanding especialy the nurses..

 

[padbrat]

Kelster I am pleased you managed to get your meds sorted... what a giant pain in the ass (no pun intended)! LOL At least it is one more thing done and one less thing to worry about. And lets face it worry is something we really don't need at the moment!

We are going to be moving to nearer to London, so you never know I might catch a game of American football... or could try for the real thing when we are in Florida... that is really keeping me going at the mo!

So you enjoy your lovely sunshine Kelster and I will enjoy my... ummm... rain and grey skies... LOL

CaliforniaMum I am loving the PMA streaming out from you! But was horrified by what you had to do to settle your bill... it is a bit like that here, they scan you, tell you it is all going wrong and you will probably m/c and then dump you in a waiting room full of blissfully pregnant women and their cooing OH's! Brutal!
It is good that you have had lovely things to do to take your mind off everything and make you remember that life is good... if a little sad and painful at times x
Though I am still spotting yukky brown stuff I have no pain and the hospital don't want to see me unless I am in loads of pain or pouring blood... so I am still waiting until next Wed for my scan...
But if all goes wrong (likely) and my tests say I am OK to go then I am all for us being in it together for July!!!

 

[Allie84]

Ooh, I too REALLY want to be 'back in the saddle' in July! My doc said wait 2 cycles and I'm wondering, does the bleeding right now (from the mc) count as a period?

Are these wellman vitamins a British thing and is there an American equivalent? Just wondering....

padbrat, I cannot imagine how you are coping with all of this waiting, but you seem to be really strong and I admire that. I pray that everything goes well for you on weds and if it doesn't I would love if all of us were pregnant again later this summer...

Kelster, I too had to get a Rhogam shot. This was the first I'd ever heard of such a thing. I didn't even know I was O- negative until I was in the ER. It makes me nervous and I hope none of my blood mixed with the embryo's, but I'm glad I got the shot.

californiamom, that sounds like such good timing that you've had family visit and have been able to to have a distraction. I think a distraction is much needed on my end so OH and I are going to see a movie tonight.

Good PMA and vibes to everyone.

 

[kelster823]

Morning ladies

how is everyone feeling today?

I feel pretty good, had a great nite out last night. saw a bunch of friends I haven't seen in like forever- since we were waiting til the coast was clear however, didn;t have to wait but it was so nice to see people again.. See we are social people and have brews when we go out.. LOL so to see me go out and not have a brew... YEP everyone would of known something was up

Allie I didn't know either til my 1st MC back in Oct - after the D&C they were like I need you to sign this consent form.. I said for what??? for the Rhogam shot.. ( I had to do it yesterday too) it is a scary thing but also kinda rare that it will happen.. but you just NEVER know

I hope you all have a WONDERFUL weekend- I guess it is a holiday weekend over the pond? ENJOY ENJOY ENJOY

 

[californiamom]

Allie, they say to wait two "normal" cycles and that means additional to the bleeding that you are experiencing now. They say this more for emotional healing but it's also good to get an idea of how your cycles are after m/c. The first time, I had a D&C, so the bleeding was minimal and my period came back about three weeks after the bleeding stopped. The next cycle was only 24 days long (before m/c it was 28-30 days).

If you m/c last week, you should probably have your first period by the end of this month and your second by the third or fourth week in June. Then, you will ovulate the first or second week in July!

I keep a calendar of when the bleeding started/stopped, every time we , my ETA for AF and ovulation ... everything is marked. Just in case something happens and we get pregnant again before our next period and even after that. I want to make sure I know exactly when the baby could have been conceived for dating purposes.

Have you guys tried using Preseed or Conceive Plus? Everyone is different but I've known it to help speed up that BFP. We used it this last time but I'm pretty sure I was already pregnant at that time. It helped my friend get her BFP though and she's still pregnant!

 

[Allie84]

Thanks californiamom. We weren't even actively TTC--just NPNT for one cycle, and I got pregnant--and I feel that was 'too easy' so now I have a huge fear it's going to be really difficult to get a BFP again. Probably just my paranoia but I appreciate the tips about the preseed...I'm going to try that and everything else I can think of. I want to do everything I can to get another BFP!

 

[Chimpette]

Hi Ladies,

Yet more bad news.... grrrrrr! Went for a scan on thursday to be told that after 2 weeks of bleeding baby is still hanging in there... can't believe it! They have said that I will need to have another D&C.

So now just waiting for my operation date.

x

 

[californiamom]

Chimpette

I'm so sorry that you have to have another D&C. On the bright side, at least you can get your closure and move on. When you wait to go naturally, there is still a chance that you will have to have the surgery regardless and it just prolongs it that much further.

Thinking of you and keep us posted on your surgery date.

 

[californiamom]

Thanks californiamom. We weren't even actively TTC--just NPNT for one cycle, and I got pregnant--and I feel that was 'too easy' so now I have a huge fear it's going to be really difficult to get a BFP again. Probably just my paranoia but I appreciate the tips about the preseed...I'm going to try that and everything else I can think of. I want to do everything I can to get another BFP!

Allie, we never had problems conceiving either. DD was conceived while still on birth control pills. We started NTNP last summer and got our BFP the following month. I thought it was too easy too. This last time, I charted for one month and got my BFP. We ordered Preseed and only used it once. It's a nice little change to the same old routine.

 

[NatoPMT]

sorry to hear that chimpette - you are being very strong

this 40% being from the men has panicked me a bit, im on 1st af after mmc and on CD 10, and husband has spent the last 2 weeks painting the house and is painting tonight. im worried about the paint fumes making his swimmers - i am miss paranoid

ive been taking baby aspirin, 5mg folic acid, extra B6 (not sure if my hormones are ok but not taking any chances) and omega 3's and husband is taking co enzyme q10 and wellman which includes folic acid. i have gone vitaminmental. If thats a real thing.

Cali: last time, i tried for 3 months, and on the 3rd month used preseed and conceived, so although i dont know if it worked, i know it didnt not work

i was reading a thread in TTC about using mooncups after BD to keep the swimmers near the cervix. not sure im brave enough to try those things, but theres some good anecdotal evidence on the thread that it seems to be working for the TTc'ers

 

[californiamom]

Nato, you're not being paranoid. It's hard to say what caused your m/c and if something like paint could cause a second one. It is possible though. I did some research and here's what I found on iVillage (from someone asking a similar question):

"No studies have specifically assessed reproductive or developmental health risks associated with painting during home renovation. Inferences must be made from the data on specific constituents of the paints". If the paint was manufactured after 1990, it no longer contains inorganic mercury which is a reproductive hazardous substance.

While organic solvents can be found in all paints, their concentration is considerably less in latex products than in oil based formulations. Daily exposure to such solvents (occupational) has been known to cause an increased risk of miscarriage and sperm defects in male exposure.

Working with the paints and refinishing products is obviously more problematic than being exposed to fumes in a well ventilated area. "Exposure to paints containing ethylene glycol, ethers, mercury or formaldehyde releasing biocides should be avoided."

I also found more info on possible causes of m/c due to chromosomal and/or abnormalities in sperm and egg (it's kind of a long so I've included the link to the full article as well as the male excerpt):

1 out of 10 men is functionally sterile, with poor quality sperm or low counts. More men have become sterile over the last 50 years due to the rapid increase in environmental toxins. Men in agricultural occupations have 10 times the infertility of the general population! Exposure to lead, paints, X-rays, mercury, benzene, boron, silicon chip manufacturing, and dry cleaning solvents are also culprits. Your physician should check your sperm count as well as the shape and activity of the sperm.

Men should avoid:

MSG, found in Accent, flavored potato chips, Doritos, Cheetos, packaged soups, and meat seasonings. Avoid animal fats, sugar, fried foods, and processed foods.

Tobacco: smoking decreases the sperm count by 13-17%, and increases deformed sperm.

Alcohol and anabolic steroids decrease testosterone production and inhibits sexual function.

Tight fitting underwear (go for boxers), hot tubs, saunas, and excessive exercise also decrease sperm production.

Avoid cottonseed oil. It is used as a male contraceptive in many 3rd world countries, since it decreases sperm production.

Laptop computers can raise the temperature of the testicles up to 4 degrees. Keep that laptop away from your groin!

Men should:

Eat a balanced diet, with plenty of organic fresh fruits, vegetables, and particularly the antioxidant foods like kiwi, cantaloupe, broccoli, asparagus, Brussels sprouts, yams, and spinach.

Get daily moderate exercise, with stress relief activities like yoga or meditation mixed in.

Take Vitamin C: 1000 mg per day increases the motility of sperm and prevents DNA damage.

Increase the volume and amount of sperm by abstaining from sex for 3-6 days before your partner’s fertile time.

Helpful Supplements:

L-Arginine, 1000 mg/day (avoid if you have latent herpes, it can cause outbreaks)
Vitamin E, 400-800IU/day, increases fertility 19-29%
Zinc, 75 mg/day-aids in prostate gland function
multi-vitamin/multi-mineral supplement containing Co-Q10, selenium, B6, B12, and folic acid

https://www.holisticlocal.com/articles/view/94/Having+Problems+Conceiving%3F

 

[NatoPMT]

oh bloody hell.

i've gone into overdrive - watch me go

 

[californiamom]

I'm sorry, Nato. I probably made your paranoia worse. I am paranoid myself and won't even start trying unless I know that we're free of chemicals, etc. A lot of this information is exaggerated and more geared for daily exposure/occupational. If you're nervous, wait another cycle.

I want to try now as well (ovulating as we speak.) But OH had smoked occasionally over the last several months. He has stopped and now I'm waiting 2 cycles. He thinks I'm crazy but it gives me peace of mind.