Development.... !

[Fly]

Have been trying not to speak about TTC with DH the past couple of days - although of course I've been feeling blue about it, and a trip to the supermarket this morning with all those crying newborns didn't help. I think he's finally realising just now much I want this.

He knows I'm getting my coil out next week, and that we'll need to get some condoms if he wants to continue preventing pregnancy. I'm fine with us doing that (well of course I'm not, but I'm not going to trick him into inseminating me either, iyswim). I mentioned this at the supermarket, and he said lets leave it a while and see how we get on...

I said don't you want to wait for a bit? (should have shut up, really - shouldn't I?!!) and he said lets see what happens on our honeymoon... end of October (THIS YEAR)

I've no idea what caused him to change his mind, and I want us to wait a while until I know he's sure and he isn't just agreeing to go along with this because I've been so upset. So we agreed condoms for September / October and see where my cycle is at post coil, and then, depending on how he is feeling about Uni, we MAY go NTNP in Oct /Nov.

Trying not to get that excited. I know there's room for him to change his mind, and I want to give him chance to settle into his course and be sure. I've also got a medical issue (posted here previously about the lump in my breast) and I want to get that sorted out properly before we get on with it.

But, in the meantime... what should I do? Already taking a multivit to ensure enough folic acid - is there anything else?

Fly

 

[lovehearts]

wow! thats amazing news!!!!!! CONRATULATIONS!!! that is super soon

When OH and i first set a TTC date i didnt want to get too excited about it but he seems totally set on the idea now - once they get it in to their heads i think they get used to it a bit more lol.

Good luck xxxxx

 

[Fly]

I can't quite believe it - a fortnight ago we were looking at three years - I told him I just could not do that, and we compromised to 2 years, but that still seemed too long for me. I'm ready now - this second!

It isn't a certainty - it's all on the understanding that he settles into his new course well and feels he could handle a new baby as well as his degree. I've said we can always get started Oct / November as any resulting baby (providing we don't take too long to get BFP) would be born towards the summer, so he'd not be in classes for the first couple of months of its life.

Still - I know you can't plan these things. It could take us a year.

We were *cuddling* this afternoon, and he said how much he'd liked it. I said, well, I am only asking you to do a tiny bit more of it... I can take care of the rest.

Cheeky, I know

 

[wannabubba#4]

Oh Great news!!

A honeymoon baby -so perfect.

I've had my honeymoon already, but would love to plan a wee break away just the two of us for when we do start ttc, makes all the bding so much more romantic and relaxed and fun. And lovely story to tell -baby was conceived in .......... on our romantic honeymoon /break/ or even dirty weekend away lol.

My last baby was conceived whilst we were away on a holiday of sorts ( just visiting relatives in London, no where exotic) -but going by my dates, ovualtion and most fertile time etc, there is a great possibilty he was actually conceived on top of a high rise block of flats lol. We had climbed up the scaffolding outside our relatives balcony (and my DH has a severe fear of heights too) to lie on the roof and watch the stars, and the planes flying overhead, and one thing led to another lol.

Makes for great memories too

xx

 

[Fly]

Ugh.

This morning he says we will 'talk about it' at Christmas, but no guarantees even after then.

Very sad.

 

[fuffyburra]

Aww honey that sucks. Men always seem to say these things in a vague way, and don't realise how seriously we take it. It's usually after they see a cute baby they make these suggestions, then once they've forgotten about it, it's all over That's just what my OH is like anyways!!
Hopefully you'll be able to sort something out, but in the meantime maybe introduce him to more cute babies? lol best of luck xx

 

[bunnyg82]

wow that's exciting!!

Well the only thing I'd say about the multi-vitamin is that once you do start, swap to a special ttc one as normal ones have things like vitamin a, which are not safe when you are pregnant.

How exciting would a honeymoon baby be xx

 

[fuffyburra]

To be honest by the sounds of it you won't have to wait 2 years, even if it IS going to be after Christmas. Sounds like he won't wait 2 years for it lol xx

 

[Fly]

I hope not. His reasons for wanting to wait until he settles into his new course are decent ones - and I know he does want children. I think I've only recently put it into his head that I want it to be sooner rather than later. Hopefully he'll come round to the idea over the next few months. And no, Christmas isn't that far away. Although if we had a honeymoon 'oops!' then I'd be over the moon!

Fly

 

[sleepinbeauty]

alright! I'm crossing all of my fingers, toes, etc for you!

 

[fuffyburra]

Yeah that'd be lovely When does he start his course? D'you think he'd agree to NTNP or some other kind of similar agreement you guys could come to?

 

[Fly]

Well, I've been wanting my coil out for a while, and have decided to get it done on Thursday. Depending on the results of another medical issue that I'll also be getting then, we'll either do NTNP, withdrawal, or condoms.

I've not much idea of my cycle as I've had the coil in for four years and only started getting irregular spotting in the last year (maybe hormones in it wearing off? I'm going to see how he feels (he is very stressed at the moment, so have decided to drop the subject for a month or so until he's feeling more settled in) but I have tentatively suggested that it could be months and months anyway so we might as well take it as it comes... I just think he's too caught up in preparing for his course at the moment to want to even think about the possibility of me getting pregnant, so he'd rather rule it out completely until December.

He starts tomorrow, BTW.

Fly

 

[sleepinbeauty]

I'm hoping he doesn't take too ling to be ready--I'm so excited for you!

 

[Fly]

Me too! We've always taken things very slowly (we were together 3 years before living together, living together almost a year before getting engaged etc) so I think he's going to take a while to really get ready for the idea... although when we first met he was dead against children and I always knew I wanted another (that's why it took us so long to live together - I wanted to get that resolved first...). I know he knows how important this is to me, and that really he is on the same page - it is just about the timing. I also know the more I go on about it, the more pressured and anxious he is likely to feel - so I'm trying to stay off the subject for the next month or so.

It's hard though!!! Just have to spend lots of time here chatting to you guys instead!!

Fly

 

[fuffyburra]

I know what you mean! I've been chuckling on about to OH for days now, and he's being so patient, but I feel bad for the poor guy haha So last night I said "Hey! Guess what I'm looking forward to?!" and he said "I know what you're looking forward to, Ellie", meaning babies, and I said "Nope, living with you in married bliss!" and winked He seemed to perk up after that XD
Anyway, I'm going to mention it a lot less now me thinks, he's got a lot on his plate at the moment, so I'll be on here loads now!! Been on like 4 times today, it's getting sad!! xx

 

[fuffyburra]

Good luck getting the coil out by the way, and with the medical issue.
I always think not talking about something for aaaaaages makes the situation much better when it comes to blokes. They're simple
Bet of luck! xx

 

[Fly]

I always think not talking about something for aaaaaages makes the situation much better when it comes to blokes. They're simple
Bet of luck! xx

Yeah - I kind of think that if we're not having conversations about it, he isn't thinking about it. But actually, he does most of his thinking when we aren't actually chatting - I know he'll come to me sooner or later and let me know when it is time. And it is likley to be sooner if I help him get settled at Uni and give him a chance to go over things in his own mind without nagging.

I haven't mentioned buying condoms to him again though. He knows I'm getting the coil out, and he knows I want to get pregnant. Anything else is up to him!!!

Cheeky!

 

[fuffyburra]

Naaaah not cheeky, he knows what he's gotta do if he wants to stop it! Chances are he won't use them very often anywho. Maybe if he feels like you're really supporting him in his course then he'll be more likely to not bother with them
I always thought OH didn't think about it, but a couple of months ago after I had the MC he came out with all this stuff he'd been thinking about since we'd been together about 6 months lol. I wish men talked more xx

 

[Fly]

I know - mine is a strong silent type - I always had to remind him that if he didn't tell me something, I wasn't going to know how he felt or what he thought about a certain thing... he is much better now though.

I think I'm going to concentrate all my broodyness onto looking after him and supporting him on his course for the time being... that way he'll feel extra loved and also be more confident that we can cope with him studying and me being pregnant at the time time!

I don't know what he'll do about condoms... I think he will probably just withdraw and I will be tracking my cycle as soon as the coil is out, so will be able to tell him where abouts in the month I am, if I'm able to tell after 4 years no periods... still - he's studying science so he knows the risks better than me and I am going to leave all that to him - can't say that I'm not hoping he'll get carried away in the moment and knock me up, though!!!

 

[wannabubba#4]

OH Fly - I so want to jump on that bandwagon with you lol

I so want my coil out!! and an 'oops' baby would be fab lol (both me and DH desperate to start really - stupid work commitments and other 'life' issues in the way)

I am making an appointment for a smear test next week (mon or Thur -whenever thay can fit me in) and I am seriously thinking of having my coil removed at the same time. Not s'posed to be ttc until after I get a new job, but I am starting to think this could be ages away and If I fell pg right away -i'd be off on maternity leave from next summer right through until after the New Year, which would be PERFECT!

xx