DH wants baby named after him.. but i HATE his name!

[TTC First]

I agree with others, I believe you should both agree on the name. I don't ask my DH to accept a name that he doesn't like. If you want to honour your DH come up with something else that incorporates his name. I came up with a name that uses the first 2 letters of my name and the first letter of his name. It includes both of us and it's a great story for lo when they are older.

 

[LilFooshFoosh]

My Dad has always called DS by a nickname, he is the only one and at first DS didn't like it but now my Dad is the only one allowed to call him that...it's like a special bond they have. My dad also scoffed at our name choices but it wasn't up to him and we only told after the baby was born.

We gave our kids their first names and their middle names are after someone. If DH had really strong feelings about continuing a tradition I would probably use the name and then call him a nickname as you have suggested, or if he was amenable, as the middle name and let grandpa call DS whatever he wants.

 

[macydarling]

I think you should both agree on the name...after all the baby is half yours as well! And the woman does all the hard work I am not a fan of juniors just because I think it's so dang confusing! My best friend's little boy is a junior and whenever she says his name both hubby and child answer I would imagine with yours being the third it would be even more confusing. So if you didn't want to straight up say you dislike his name you could always point that out.
My DH already knows I don't like juniors and he wasn't really interested in that anyway but everyone in his family just seemingly expected that once we found out it was a boy it would automatically be a junior? When DH said no they then started pressuring us that we should name the baby after his grandpa...his name is Conrad which I'm sorry but it's an old man name and then we would still have the confusion issue lol.
So anyway, DH and I agreed on a name that we BOTH like which is how I think it should be. You made this child together and you will raise him together so of course why not name him together as well? And imo extended family really has no say whatsoever.

 

[hivechild]

Your son is presumably getting his father's surname, and there is no reason he can't have Gary as a middle name, which is more of a traditional way to pass on family names.

I personally would not give my baby a name we didn't both love. No one else's opinions or feelings ultimately matter in this decision.

 

[Caelli86]

I wouldn't name my baby a name I didn't like.

 

[Koifish]

Glad you decided against something you don't like. Hubby and I have had a hard time finding names we both like. He suggested naming one after him but I shot that down, I don't need two people with the same name in the house. Lucky for him I love his Vietnamese name (he uses his "american" name always, never uses his other) so we might be using it. That just happen to be a lucky compromise and one name we both like. I do agree though he has no more right in picking a name then you. Its something both of you need to love, def. Not something to settle on.

As for in laws or parents they can butt out on names it's not their decision or their business.

 

[zorak]

My husband really wanted our fits to have the name David after both him and FIL . I put my foot down. I like the name but it'd just be one too many David's in the family for me. We compromised and LO has David as a middle name. Would that work?

Funnily enough my husband has said since that he couldn't imagine our little boy being anything else other than Mark which is what we called him.

 

[MamaBunny2]

I understand your DH wanting to name his son after his (and his dad) but it should be something you both want and like for your child. I don't have experience with this personally, per say... but did give my son a name very close to his birth father's, using the same initials - Brenden Matthew is my son and his birth father is Brandon Michael.

My mom had told me once that she sort of regrets naming my half brother after her ex husband, just because of the confusion it caused with legal documents and such.

Good luck!

 

[nmpjcp2015]

Maybe you could use a similar name like Garrett, then he could still call him Gary if we wanted to? I also think Trey is very cute, but don't name you child something you don't like, even if you don't call him by that name you'll hear it all the time.

 

[GetNmyBelly]

I talked 2 my husband 2day (which is our 3rd year wedding anniversary!) & I started bringing up other names & he doesn't really seem 2 mind that much! I have completely decided against naming the baby after him tho. so I have been looking up names for like an hour! he wants his grandfathers name as a middle name tho no matter what & im fine with that ..we wont be having Gary as any part in our boys name. I really like the name Trevor but nothing is for sure yet. this naming stuff is harder than I thought it would be! & yes the baby is of course going 2 have my husbands last name (also my last name now 2) even tho I hate the last name 2 lol but that doesn't matter. when we do decide on a name im not listening 2 what anyone else thinks especially his dad because I feel like hes gonna have something bad 2 say about a name no matter what.. he once brought up the name Albert. im just like wow thanks but no thanks

 

[GetNmyBelly]

wow I just got a little 2 excited about my ticker changing 2 the next baby

 

[techheather]

My husband is a Dennis jr. However, very early on his grandpa said he looks like a Jake. So it was. Still jake 40 yrs later. Always been. His middle name can't even be made into jake. It's no relation. Dennis on
Paper. But jake in life. Give into dad but call him something. Tell him it be easier to identify. Besides does he want big Gary . Little Gary . And baby Gary.

 

[pihabella]

What is with the whole Jnr thing? Its just so strange! Each baby should have their own identity and a name is so important! I agree with using Gary as a middle name. I know of a family who gave all of the girls the mothers name and the boys the fathers and they were then 'the first', 'the second' etc according to age. Its degrading and so ridiculous for those poor kids!

 

[lokatyve]

I have personally never liked juniors, seconds, thirds, etc. Luckily dh doesnt either (especially since we are having our second baby boy in September). But if it came down to it and dh was very adamant about it I would highly consider it. I would take his feelings into consideration as he would mine. I feel I would come up with an alternative name or two and see if dh would possibly consider those. Maybe use his middle name instead. Seeing as its his baby as well it would be a discussion probably until the baby is born.

 

[VerbingNoun]

I mean if its important to him....

I didn't care for our baby's name either (Eleanor.) It is my husband's grandmother's name and it means the absolute world to him to name our daughter that. I just told him that I get to pick the middle name then.

Maybe you can do the same thing?

His dad is a Jr. but goes by his middle name. I mean could that work for you both?

 

[Tasha]

I'm glad you've decided against naming baby something you don't love. You both need to love the name and since it seems more important to your DH that the middle name is after his grandfather then I'd honour that and find a first name you both really love.

 

[GetNmyBelly]

yea I talked 2 him.. I told him I didn't want 2 name him Gary the third & that ive been looking at names & he could choose the middle name.. & I don't think he minds much. if I like a name he absolutely hates I would choose another one but I feel like ultimately it should be more my decision (is that wrong?) I know people are going 2 say its just as much his baby as it is mine & blahh & of course I know that the baby is half from him & half from me.. but come on! he went through a few minutes of pleasure for this baby & I went through hell the entire first trimester. im the one getting stretch marks im the one that feels fat & in the end im the one who will have a sore crotch. so im definitely done trying 2 tell myself "oh Garys not THAT bad of a name" when really I think it IS that bad lol. & Im tired of people telling me what 2 name him! my MIL (who is divorced from my FIL) text me the other day saying "please don't name the baby after Gary & his dad." & then my mom keeps saying "I like the name Lucas I think u should name him Lucas." everything is just getting on my nerves lately.

 

[GetNmyBelly]

I'm glad you've decided against naming baby something you don't love. You both need to love the name and since it seems more important to your DH that the middle name is after his grandfather then I'd honour that and find a first name you both really love.

^^^ this! I completely agree. picking a name is harder than I thought it would be. its like I want a perfect name but there is no "perfect" name. so im gonna keep looking until I find one that I really like & im done with my family's & my husbands family's opinions. its our decision on what to name our son im just sick of them telling me what I should or shouldn't name him. when we find a name & are 100% sure on it we will tell them & if they don't like it they can seriously kiss my ass!

 

[Tasha]

Personally I'm not in the I carried them for nine months so should get more say camp. See that few minutes of pleasure meant a lot at the time but now pales into insignificance when compared to your pregnancy and the length of time and importance that has, but one day your pregnancy will be the same. Even now when my children are only six, nine and ten, although the pregnancy was a special and important time it pales into insignificance compared to the years we've had and will continue to have, of being equally responsible for our LO's, taking on all the up's and downs as a team. So for me it should be equal say, both equally love the name.

That's just me though and if you both are happy with what you propose then do it that way. But don't discuss names with anyone but DH then no one can have an opinion on your choices!

 

[AP]

I'm glad you've decided against it too - both your opinions matter and no-one else should think they have a say