Did you get spanked and do you plan to spank your child?

[I_AM_LIVID]

My mother was one of those parents who mastered the art of getting my brother and I back in line by simply giving us a disapproving look and hence she never lifted her hand at us. My dad on the other hand spanked me twice in my entire life, and although I don’t recall it being particularly painful, I think I cried more out of embarrassment than anything else. I never begrudged him for it though and I’ll be the first to admit that I deserved those spankings.

OH and I were discussing this subject after the campaign against child abuse on facebook and he mentioned that he is not apposed to spanking when his children misbehave whereas I’m hoping to use my mother’s method.

So, what are your thoughts on the subject? Were you spanked as a child, did it work for you and do you plan do to the same to your children? Before anyone jumps on this thread and screams child abuse, I’m talking about an open-hand spanking on the bum or a tap on the hand, not one of those heavy beatings that some parents try to justify with the biblical ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

My mum smacked me but not hard and not often, and she very much regrets it. I will not be using any physical punishment at all.

As Im sure you are aware, smacking isn't biblical anyway, those verses are very much open to different interpretations.

 

[dani_tinks]

My Mum didn't spank me. My Dad did. On many occasions. Mainly for not wanting to go to school. He refused to believe I was being bullied so hit me. He used to put soap in my mouth, drag me up the stairs. Throw me outside and lock me out. He lost his temper a lot.
Due to that I refuse to hit Jacob, no matter what he does. It isn't the way to go. I rebelled in my teens and hated my Dad for years, since having Jacob our relationship is slowly improving and i'm beginning to trust him but I still remember the pain . I think he used his belt a few times too. Not nice.

 

[ouchwithNo.2]

Wait until you father gets home!!!!! (that was awful...literally dreading his car reversing in the drive!)
Haha... I always knew I was in for it when mum used my first and middle name together!
I had the belt, a garden cane and the slipper right across my bum and boy did it hurt.
I never did whatever it was again so yes, I guess it did work with me.
I never hate him for doing it and I was always a daddy's girl.
I haven't become damaged because of it either.
I have 'smacked' my 6yr old before across the hand when he 4-5yrs because he was messing about on the pavement with a stick which I told him to put down and he wouldn't then he lost his footing and slipped off the kerb.
If they do something dangerous then yes they will get a tap but otherwise when I shout he knows to run...!

 

[lucy_x]

My Mum didn't spank me. My Dad did. On many occasions. Mainly for not wanting to go to school. He refused to believe I was being bullied so hit me. He used to put soap in my mouth, drag me up the stairs. Throw me outside and lock me out. He lost his temper a lot.
Due to that I refuse to hit Jacob, no matter what he does. It isn't the way to go. I rebelled in my teens and hated my Dad for years, since having Jacob our relationship is slowly improving and i'm beginning to trust him but I still remember the pain . I think he used his belt a few times too. Not nice.

I refuse to hit amari, i was hit a couple of times, but i still remember it hurting

 

[xbabybumpx]

No i dont plan on doing it. Its not in my nature at all. Someone i know 'taps' their childs hand,albeit not very often but it makes the child cry and behave worse xox

 

[charlotte-xo]

No its not for me..like your mum my mum could terrorfy me with one look she never raised her hand to me and i have so much more respect for her for that..i think ill be doing the same with Alfie just giving him a stern look if hes naughty

--x

 

[kerrie24]

My parents used to smack us,my dad very rarely,but sometimes I would have a hand mark left on me and I used to go and show my little sister and say I was phoning childline lol.
I havent ever hit any of my children,I dont see the point really,it wont solve anything.I have perfected the 'look' that says 'stop now or you will regret it' (they have never had to find out what happens if I lose it cos they stop when I warn them lol)

 

[leelee]

I was smacked and my mother regrets it.

I won't be smacking my LO. I don't see the need.

 

[princessellie]

we were belted when we were little too, we used to put beanos down our pants so it didnt hurt

i have smacked leyla on the hand a few times, if ive given her warning and she refuses to stop, i dont see anything wrong with a tap on the hand now and then

x

 

[charlotte-xo]

My Mum didn't spank me. My Dad did. On many occasions. Mainly for not wanting to go to school. He refused to believe I was being bullied so hit me. He used to put soap in my mouth, drag me up the stairs. Throw me outside and lock me out. He lost his temper a lot.
Due to that I refuse to hit Jacob, no matter what he does. It isn't the way to go. I rebelled in my teens and hated my Dad for years, since having Jacob our relationship is slowly improving and i'm beginning to trust him but I still remember the pain . I think he used his belt a few times too. Not nice.

 

[dani_tinks]

Oooh slippers across the bum. I remember that one too. That stung!

 

[AppleBlossom]

Like I said in the toddler section, yes I do smack LO if I feel it is necessary. People have told me that I'm a bad mother for doing it, compare it to child abuse (which is ridiculous, a small smack on the hand once in a blue moon is in NO WAY comparable to the ways on which you hear of children being abused in the news and it makes me angry that anyone could say they are even remotely in the same category!) I'm not a bad mother at all. I always said I would never smack her. I was smacked occasionally as a child. It didn't do me any harm but I didn't like it. But as she got older and began to understand what she was doing was naughty and no amount of time out/naughty step, telling off etc worked my very last resort is to smack her. Not hard, just enough so she knows I mean business. For example when I have told her to stay by me and not run off and she screams and kicks and then runs out into the middle of the road. I have smacked her hand when she's done that. When I tell her off, she tells me to be quiet or just laughs.

As a parent I know when it is necessary to smack her. I'm not throwing her against walls and I only smack her if all else has failed and as a last resort. But I will do it if I think it needs to be done. And you can all jump on me if you want (this is baby club after all so I expect it lol) but a lot of you will be first time mums with small babies who say you would never dream of smacking your child. I just want to let you know that I used to say the exact same and I guarantee that when your LO gets to 2-3 years old you will at least consider it even if you don't follow it through.

 

[vaniilla]

I was, my parents both had very demanding jobs, my mum used to be a head chef and my dad a police office so both were always stressed and they ended up taking it out on us whenever we did anything we shouldn't have, I'm not going to go into details but being smacked only made me close up completely as a person and had to have therapy for trauma, I would never put my son through the same thing,no matter what he does for me I'd rather use a time out zone or talk to him, I'd rather he understands what he's done wrong then not do it out of fear.

 

[Mummy2Asher]

I was, I lived in the Philippines for a year as we went to visit family and my mum was really ill so we stayed and that was strict! Kneeling on rock salt was the worst.
I don't smack ash, he knows when I'm angry and stops what he's doing and he goes on timeouts if he doesn't. He gets one warning then on a timeout if he does it again.

 

[leelee]

Like I said in the toddler section, yes I do smack LO if I feel it is necessary. People have told me that I'm a bad mother for doing it, compare it to child abuse (which is ridiculous, a small smack on the hand once in a blue moon is in NO WAY comparable to the ways on which you hear of children being abused in the news and it makes me angry that anyone could say they are even remotely in the same category!) I'm not a bad mother at all. I always said I would never smack her. I was smacked occasionally as a child. It didn't do me any harm but I didn't like it. But as she got older and began to understand what she was doing was naughty and no amount of time out/naughty step, telling off etc worked my very last resort is to smack her. Not hard, just enough so she knows I mean business. For example when I have told her to stay by me and not run off and she screams and kicks and then runs out into the middle of the road. I have smacked her hand when she's done that. When I tell her off, she tells me to be quiet or just laughs.

As a parent I know when it is necessary to smack her. I'm not throwing her against walls and I only smack her if all else has failed and as a last resort. But I will do it if I think it needs to be done. And you can all jump on me if you want (this is baby club after all so I expect it lol) but a lot of you will be first time mums with small babies who say you would never dream of smacking your child. I just want to let you know that I used to say the exact same and I guarantee that when your LO gets to 2-3 years old you will at least consider it even if you don't follow it through.

I don't think what you are doing is child abuse, nor do I think you are a bad mother.

I just know from personal experience that when my Mum smacked us she had completely lost control.

 

[icy1975]

no I didn't and no I don't, how can you tell your child that hitting people is wrong when you're doing it to them, and it doesn't matter how 'light a tap' it is, it's still hitting in my opinion

 

[amygwen]

I was spanked as a child and I think I turned out okay! I'm not against spanking because I think that it's necessary sometimes if the child is putting themselves or someone else in danger. I don't really know though until I get there, I don't know how I will discipline Kenny.

 

[AppleBlossom]

Like I said in the toddler section, yes I do smack LO if I feel it is necessary. People have told me that I'm a bad mother for doing it, compare it to child abuse (which is ridiculous, a small smack on the hand once in a blue moon is in NO WAY comparable to the ways on which you hear of children being abused in the news and it makes me angry that anyone could say they are even remotely in the same category!) I'm not a bad mother at all. I always said I would never smack her. I was smacked occasionally as a child. It didn't do me any harm but I didn't like it. But as she got older and began to understand what she was doing was naughty and no amount of time out/naughty step, telling off etc worked my very last resort is to smack her. Not hard, just enough so she knows I mean business. For example when I have told her to stay by me and not run off and she screams and kicks and then runs out into the middle of the road. I have smacked her hand when she's done that. When I tell her off, she tells me to be quiet or just laughs.

As a parent I know when it is necessary to smack her. I'm not throwing her against walls and I only smack her if all else has failed and as a last resort. But I will do it if I think it needs to be done. And you can all jump on me if you want (this is baby club after all so I expect it lol) but a lot of you will be first time mums with small babies who say you would never dream of smacking your child. I just want to let you know that I used to say the exact same and I guarantee that when your LO gets to 2-3 years old you will at least consider it even if you don't follow it through.

I don't think what you are doing is child abuse, nor do I think you are a bad mother.

I just know from personal experience that when my Mum smacked us she had completely lost control.

Thanks I know that too lol. And is easy to lose your nut when your child is climbing all over the place, shouting and screaming at you and saying "No!" every time you tell them not to do something. The amount of times I've just wanted to throw her out of the window...

 

[princessellie]

lol bexy! harsh! x