I had a 9lb 5oz baby with a big head lol and I did tear, 2nd degree (I think? - muscle and skin), but not from his head as I managed to relax and breathe through it and I'd done plenty of perineal massage, also was in a good position (hands and knees, though a little more upright). He tore me when he shimmied his shoulders as they were being born, impatient little munchkin. I didn't feel it at all, and I was like you, scared of not winding up intact. I panicked when the MW said she'd need to stitch me but I didn't feel that either, she just put a little local anaesthetic in and I chatted with my Mom to distract me.
My recovery was okay, bit sore, and had to be careful not to shuffle my bum along before getting up IYKWIM? as that put pressure on the wound. I had lots of baths (at least one if not two or three each day) with lavender oil mixed with a bit of milk in them to help soothe and heal. Best advice I got was to lean forwards when you wee lol otherwise urine on broken skin stings like buggery. I can still feel a little scar tissue there, which is odd but it's not really causing any issues. I also got grazed on the inside of my labia minora and that stung more in the following days than the stitches did.