Did you tell people you were TTC once you found out you were pregnant?!

[Bentleymom]

So, I'm a young momma(26) and I have a son(4) who has autsim. I always knew I wanted another child, but wanted to wait untill I had finished my degree and had a good job, all of which I have now 😊. But all I ever get from ppl and family members was comments when they see my son about how they bet I'll never have another one. Honestly, it really hurt my feelings when they would say this, but I'd just laugh it off. All the while secretly wanting another one. My son is a handful, but what child isn't lol. Anyways my OH and I had been ttc for 1 year after I got my iud removed and finally got pregnant over Christmas and I just found out this last Tuesday I'm expecting #2!!! We are so happy!! But we never told anyone we are ttc and now when it's time to tell the family I'm pregnant I am worried about being judged. I would like to scream at them this was a planned child, but I feel like I will be less judged for having another of a pretend it was an accident. But I so don't feel like I should have to lie to avoid the negative comments e.g. "What were you thinking" ect. Anyone in a similar boat?

 

[Just1more2]

I completely understand what you are feeling!!

I am a young mom too - will be 25 this year. My OH and I have a 5 year old son together. I got pregnant at 18 and had him at 19. No one was very excited when we told them we were expecting. Everyone thought we would fail, and struggle our whole lives.

Fast forward 6 years and we are both successful- college grads, good jobs, two cars (no house, but we haven't decided where we want to set down roots yet) 2 cats and a dog. Our son attends a private, tuition funded elementary school and we put money away for retirement.

Now that we are pregnant with #2, we are excited but nervous that we will be met with judgment for having a second child young. I wonder if people will think that this was just another "accident" and that we did not plan it. We tried for 6 months and lost 2 beans early on - this baby is very much wanted!! I worry that people will think "just when they had it all together, they are going to mess it all up again..."

I think when we announce the pregnancy to the general public (facebook, etc. that I will put a blurb in that says "After 6 months and 2 losses we are finally giving Dominic a sibling!" just to make it clear.

Is this something you have thought to do? You have a friend here!

 

[x__amour]

I don't think you should worry whatsoever! Babies are such a beautiful thing no matter what.

 

[Kmx]

I'm 25 too and expecting a sibling for my 4 year old. We never told anyone we were trying but when I had a MC last year I told my family for support. No one really commented about being pregnant again and now they are all expecting me to be pregnant really soon - they don't know but keep asking. I want to keep it a secret for as long as possible.

Anyway I do understand what you mean. I had LO when I was 21 and I remember my mum and sister really doubting my ability to finish uni and get a job. Fast forward to now and both myself and partner have good graduate jobs, have a mortgage, car and can live comfortably. OH does so well that I can become a SAHM for the next couple of years.

I know deep down that I'll always be ok - even if oh lost his job I've got a degree and experience and so does he and I know we'd be able to cope. So even if they are confused about us having another one it's what we want to do!

You know they were wrong the last time so they'll be wrong this time

 

[lauraairving]

I wouldn't say 26 is young! In my opinion everyone is different and feels ready at different ages. I really can't do with people who judge. So I just take no notice. I know it can be hard some times. I was 18 with my first but my partner was 25, and this time I'm guna be 21 and my partner will be 29 so although I'd be classed as a young mum, he's not young. I don't know I guess I just get on with it and feel it's none of their business. I wouldn't even mention it. Just announce it and if they question just avoid it. That's what we did

 

[Bentleymom]

Thank you for all the replies ladies!! It's nice to see so many of us supporting each other and in similar situations. I fee the same way you all do!! And I also think that my family is prob thinking the same "there she goes messing up her life again with another baby". Even if they don't say this to my face, I know it's what they are thinking. I'm working on a secound degree , BSN in nursing and I'm almost done with my nursing pre reqs (2 classes away), but I just dropped out of my A&P II because I don't want to expose myself to the harsh chemicals, even with a good mask. And I know I'm to never hear the end of it. But I just feel like it's my life, my choice, and I shouldn't have to feel bad for wanting another baby young and because I have one already with a disability. I know it will all work out, but I guess it's just hard because I'm the 4th woman in the family now to get pregnant this last year and I don't feel like everyone is going to be as excited for me, because they all always tell I don't need to have anymore because of my son. Which is super unfair. My son is an absolute joy and just because he's disabled doesn't mean he's not worth having. And I'm so excited to give him and myself and my OH to expericne having a sibling in the house.

 

[TayBabes92]

I am a young mum as well and I'll be 24 this year. I felt the same way when we conceived our DD who is now 2. We were married young (I was 18 and DH was 20) and because of our age people didn't think we would want kids yet. Little did anyone know I was dying to have a baby and we tried for 2 years and had many pregnancy struggles. 6 months before we conceived we told family we planned to have fertility treatment because of my PCOS. They seemed to jump on the band wagon that we only just decided to TTC. No one had any clue of the struggles we went through because TTC is something private you don't normal tell people unless you're comfortable with discussing it. We decided when we announced we were pregnant it would be on Facebook and we spoke about our struggles to conceive our daughter. This made me feel better that friends and family could see it wasn't an easy road for us and not everyone gets pregnant at the drop of a hat. We struggle with my MIL because she is very old school and had 8 kids she just thinks it easy or we just try to hard. Now our daughter is 2 she always comments we need to hurry up and get to trying for baby #2 but little does she know we have been since after 4 months after I had our daughter. I am now 7 weeks pregnant and it was easier this time around and we aren't comfortable telling family who haven't been supportive. My husband said he doesn't care who of his family is upset we didn't personally tell them because they never bothered to support us while we tried again with this one. We told our close friends first and they were extremely supportive and happy for us. It just goes to show not always family will be the ones to support you and blood is only skin deep. We will publicly announce this pregnancy before 12 weeks once we have our ultrasound again in a week as long as everything is going ok. Congratulations to you all

 

[suspectpink]

I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant with my 1st son , 21 with my second son , 31 with my 3rd son and I'm 35 now ... approx 5 weeks 😊 I can honestly say with every pregnancy people always have an opinion despite what age you are 👍good and bad obviously xxx when I was 17 it was "Ooooo your so young though what about all the things you had planned to do" ect ... abet I have still managed most of those things 😊 on my 3rd pregnacy it was "Oooooo your an older mummy now" hahaaa geezus I couldn't win ha!!
My toddler is the equivalent of 5 ha! So I know what's coming this is mine & my husbands 1st baby together and I couldn't be more excited and I'm actually looking forward to telling everyone. ... even the "off" comments ! our close family know and they are super excited I'm more worried what my boys will say 😕 xxxxxxx