Difficult Situation

Discussion in 'Long Term Trying To Conceive' started by ElliesMum, Oct 23, 2006.

  1. ElliesMum

    ElliesMum Mum of 2

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    I'm hoping somebody will be able to help me with this one. My cousin and his wife are due their first baby any time now. They have been having trouble ttc for 5 years and have had many treatments. They know the full details of what happened to me. The problem is that i will be expected (by the whole family) to go and visit them and see the new baby when its born but i just cant do this. I am happy for them really but it will upset me so so much to see them with a baby when i long for one of my own. How do i not go without being thought of so badly by everyone? Any ideas?
     
  2. Wobbles

    Wobbles BnB Co-Founder ~ Retired

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    Its difficult & one of the worst feeling because it's obviously not personal I think moments like this though if looked on right can make you stronger in your situation! You WILL get there hun thats how you need to think & to smile & look on the newborn thinking just that will make you smile more " this will be me one day".

    Through so much heartache I have found this:

    A pregnant woman I can become quite envy of - that should be me right now but a child doesn't seem to sway me as much as I thought or if at all. - Hope that makes sense :D

    x
     
  3. ElliesMum

    ElliesMum Mum of 2

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    Yeah, everything so say makes so much sense but i know that as soon as i see the baby i will just break down. I admit i am so jealous and i cant help it but i dont want to make things difficult for everyone else. I cant say to them, "No i'm not coming over to see your baby cos i'm jealous". I know its not the baby's fault but i dont know what to do. I was thinking of sending them a little note with the New Baby card and just saying something like, Congratulations and all the normal stuff and an apology for not visiting as i am finding things a bit difficult at the moment. What do you think?
     
  4. Wobbles

    Wobbles BnB Co-Founder ~ Retired

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    I think if you get on with your cousin & they know what you are going through right now they should understand hun :hugs:
     
  5. ElliesMum

    ElliesMum Mum of 2

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    All i can do is wait until the time comes and take it from there i suppose.
     
  6. Wobbles

    Wobbles BnB Co-Founder ~ Retired

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    Try think positive between now & then! :hugs: x
     
  7. ElliesMum

    ElliesMum Mum of 2

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    Yeah i will. Thanks for listening.
     
  8. Wobbles

    Wobbles BnB Co-Founder ~ Retired

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    Always I certainly know how pants it is!
     
  9. Helen

    Helen ICSI Twins + miracle BFP

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    Hey ElliesMum

    Your cousin will definitely understand, she's probably faced that situation too at some point in the last 5 years.

    I think your card idea is a good one. Maybe send a little gift too, if you can stretch to that. Once all the initial fuss has died down it will get easier to visit. :hugs:

    H

    xx
     
  10. Tootsie

    Tootsie Well-Known Member

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    I agree.

    A card and a small gift sent on to them would be my advice too.
    I can understand your predicament quite easily and there is no reason why the rest of your family should pressure you into doing something uncomfortable. Slip a not in the card saying you wish them all the happiness in the world and you'll viit them soon enough.

    Really if anyone in the family holds it against you just give them what for :lol:
     
  11. ElliesMum

    ElliesMum Mum of 2

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    Thank you all for your support. I feel much better about it now and dont feel so guilty. You'll probably hear all about it from me once she gives birth.
     
  12. miss maternal

    miss maternal Well-Known Member

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    Has she given birth yet? Im in the same situation hun as my OHs friends had a baby a month ago and I keep saying to OH that we should go and see them and take a card and present but he doesnt want to upset me(bless). I hope they dont think we are rude as I got the card straight after she bave birth but OH just doesnt want to go and see them partly because he owes him money :shock:

    Do you think a Russ turtle toy would be ok to give a newborn baby?
     

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