Difficulty getting newborn to sleep in daytine

[myra]

We have a 2 year old and one month old. In the first 2 weeks, our newborn slept easily in the daytime. Now we never know if she's going to stay awake or be fall asleep after feedings. For several days she's been feeding hourly so we're not getting much break and int he evening it takes 2-3 hours to settle her and get her to sleep...meanwhile my 2 year old loses all my time that we used to spend together doing his nighttime routine. He gets frustrated and starts to act out a bit- though hubby is great at stepping in and taking on all the evening (and much of the daytime) responsibilities.

I've tried the 5 S's to help her settle and go to sleep...doesn't work. She hates being swaddled. I feel like she gets extra fussy because she's so tired (keeps falling asleep and then waking herself back up a minute later). The only way I can get her to sleep is through nursing- and when she's tired, she keeps going for the breast in an attempt to soothe and sleep- but with my oversupply, she often ends up overeating and feeling uncomfortable, spitting it back up and is far away from sleep again.

My 2 year old was a preemie and had severe reflux, allergies and colic until 6 months old so we thought having a term baby would be oh so easy...hardly the case!

Any tips on how to help her sleep?

 

[louiseee]

I have a nearly 3 week old and for the last few days has been staying awake for much longer then i thought normal for this young, what i've started doing is nappy change, feed and lay in moses basket with white noise which seems to settle her. Maybe worth a try.

 

[MindUtopia]

Have you considered a wrap? If you can wear her for naps, she may sleep longer and then you can move around and have hands free for your toddler? This is what we did for naps until our daughter was around 9 months old - then she went to nursery and they had all sorts of tricks for gently getting them to sleep or on days off we were always out so she'd just sleep in the car or the pushchair when we were on the go, which made it really easy. She's dropped her nap now completely, so we don't have to think about it anymore. I'm a big believer that's a lot easier than stressing over getting the to nap alone during the day if it's not working.

 

[myra]

Thanks for the tips. We've tried those as well- usually when I put her in her bassinet, she gets fussy after a few minutes (even if she was asleep when I put her there).

We have a carrier too that I use for her- she used to like it and fall straight asleep in it. Was great to be hands free. lately she has begun screaming when I try and carry her that way.

 

[captainj1]

Hi there

I can empathise although my ds is a bit older at 4. Dd won't sleep other than on me in the day, sometimes in the baby bjorn but other times in my arms. She usually cries in the car but if she does fall asleep she wakes as soon as the car stops moving. Same with the pram. she has about ten minutes of happy awake time in each feed/change/sleep cycle and she is cluster feeding at the moment too (growth spurt?). So she's hard work - but my son was the same with cmpi and lactose intolerance thrown in so I expected this! I decided early on that dd has one bottle of formula each evening from dh, and one night feed (while there are 3) also formula which dh gives her. That way, we can alternate who does bedtime with ds and who has the 1-2 hour battle with dd. it's his turn tonight so I'm still downstairs with ds and he's upstairs in a blacked out room with white noise on trying to feed a swaddled baby...! I don't want dd to get so used to the boob that she won't settle at night for anyone else. Plus I need a break from her after being at home with her all day!

If I were you I would try to persist with the swaddle - my dd resists it too unless she is in her ten minute happy phase, but she sleeps so much better in it. We use the Summer SwaddleMe. Also, the white noise for my dd works like magic in calming her if she is screaming - but it has to be loud. We have a Ewan dream sheep but it is far too quiet for her. I use an app and have it as loud as I can on my phone and hold it close to her and she usually snaps out of a screaming fit. We have white noise on all night in her room (which is our dressing room so not totally separate).

Dd also has a dummy, we've had no problem with nipple confusion and it does help settle her. When she is in her crib it is a pain if it falls out before she is totally asleep, but I try to put a Muslin behind it to stop it falling out which sometimes works. Then once she's asleep (I can see on the video monitor) And the dummy has fallen out I take the dummy and Muslin away and she doesn't need it back for the rest of the night.
Good luck and hope there is something in here that helps xxx

 

[Kristalebear1]

I have a 3 week old, she settles great during the day, but up every hour at night ever since we started crib training her. Before she slept with me in twin size bed in the guest room, or in her bouncer or bassinet stroller (I was recovering and only recently was able to get up and down from my low queen bed). I've found her pacifier helps tremendously but she's had one since she was 2 days old and has had no nipple confusion. I breastfeed her and if I think she's stirring I pop in her paci. At night she simply likes to cluster feed and I can get her to sleep an extra 30 mins between with her paci. And boy does 30 mins make a difference haha.

Dont know if a paci is an option, or if your LO struggles with nipple confusion but if you haven't tried one I recommend it. I use the Nuk newborn (they look like gumdrop soothies but with an orthodontic nipple instead). I also use avent and gumdrop soothies as well.

 

[stripeycat5]

I also have a two year old DS and I agree it is hard to give him to be attention he needs but I try and put him first as much as I can and make sure we have some time together during the day. Daytime naps are a bit hit and miss but I have found that putting her to bed upstairs when she naps works better than having her downstairs. I nurse her till she is sleepy and then put her in her cot upstairs and rock her to sleep.

At bedtime I am trying to get both into the bedtime routine as much as I can. I looked after DD whilst DH bathes DS and then we swop children lol. The I put DS to bed (with DD crying normally but she is a whinge anyway!). Then I have a bath and nurse DD to sleep. This is working quite well and it means that we are getting the evenings to ourselves.

I also took DD to have cranial osteopathy and that has made the world of difference. She has always been quite an unsettled baby and has for reflux but the osteopathy has definitely helped x

 

[Kazy]

Not much more to offer other than what has been said. White noise is a lifesaver but I agree it has to be LOUD. The guy who wrote the 5s thing says the same thing. I watched a video of him shhh a baby and was shocked how loud it had to be.
My lo hates swaddling. So we just do white noise and pacifier. I love the wubanub brand because it has a little bear on the end and stays in her moith.
I can relate to missing to with my other los. Makes me sad some days. But I know if I keep working with her to get a good schedule it will free me up soon to have more time with my others.

 

[myra]

Back with an update.

Thanks for all the tips and support!!

Unfortunately with just about everything we tried, it didn't work. She was miserable and crying when awake, and just didn't sleep much during the day. BUT the last 2 days have been a complete turnaround! She nursed, falls asleep- gets good naps...for the short time she's awake, she's mostly peaceful (unless hungry- then she has a good set of lungs!).

We started giving her probiotics 4 days ago (Gerber Colic Calm) and I think that is what made a huge difference. We used the drops with my son too- he used to scream every time on the changing table (plus severe reflux and dairy allergy). It calmed him down for changings so it only took one of us to do the changing.

Fingers crossed that this is the new normal.

 

[myra]

An update if someone comes along to read this down the line...sleeping initially got better with probiotics- then it got even worse. Lots of inconsolable crying. Turns out she's following in her big brother's footsteps with reflux and dairy/soy allergies. I've cut out all dairy and soy. She's on medication now and we're waiting for it to ramp up. We're seeing small improvements today-she'll sleep when held or driven in car, and once she slept on her own for a half hour. Fortunately she usually has sonewhat decent sleep at night...and if she continues to follow in her brothers footsteps, she will be an amazing, adorable 2 year old one day ;-)

 

[captainj1]

Glad to hear it's getting sorted hon. One other thing that is working for my dd at the moment is to cover her face with a boubou/blankie - she will sleep in her car seat in the daytime like this after a little rock in it - I watch her, obviously. It seems to help her zone out.