Sander
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- May 21, 2017
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We just found out our 2nd baby is another boy, and I have to admit I was so much more upset about it than I thought I would be. I completely built myself up for a girl, as this pregnancy has been night and day to my DS. With DS I had a gut boy feeling which made it easier to deal with when we found out he was a boy, but this one I had girl feelings all the way - I even bought a few girl onesies. When the tech said boy I was so shocked, and I can’t help but grieve for the girl I thought I was carrying.
I love my son to death and would never change him, and I’m sure I’ll feel the same this time. The reason I’m so disappointed is I don’t think I want more children as my last birth did not go smoothly at all, and this time I will need a C-section which I’m also not looking forward to whatsoever. I don’t want to birth any more children after this one. So I feel like my girl dreams are gone forever, and with boys I feel like my time as their mom is so short compared to girls. It’s not really considered ‘normal’ to go to a movie or out for dinner with your son when he’s a teenager, but if you’re going as a mother and daughter it’s supposed to be great bonding. Plus when boys move out and get married, they become attached to their wife and as a mother you aren’t supposed to interfere, whereas you can always be a sounding board for your daughter.
Anyways it just feels like now I’ll only get to be a mom for a few years instead of being close to a daughter forever.
It’s so hard for me to wrap my head around and I know I’m majorly projecting into the future but I just love my kids with all of my heart and the idea of losing them one day is so awful. I really thought if I just get a girl I can always be a mom to her. Now with boys it just feels like my days are numbered. They’ll love me when they’re little, but then that’ll be it. I’ll be washed up at 45.
I’m sure a lot of these feelings are hormonal but I needed to get them out. I know I will love this baby with everything I have, but I will always miss the daughter I’ve imagined having since I was a little girl.
I love my son to death and would never change him, and I’m sure I’ll feel the same this time. The reason I’m so disappointed is I don’t think I want more children as my last birth did not go smoothly at all, and this time I will need a C-section which I’m also not looking forward to whatsoever. I don’t want to birth any more children after this one. So I feel like my girl dreams are gone forever, and with boys I feel like my time as their mom is so short compared to girls. It’s not really considered ‘normal’ to go to a movie or out for dinner with your son when he’s a teenager, but if you’re going as a mother and daughter it’s supposed to be great bonding. Plus when boys move out and get married, they become attached to their wife and as a mother you aren’t supposed to interfere, whereas you can always be a sounding board for your daughter.
Anyways it just feels like now I’ll only get to be a mom for a few years instead of being close to a daughter forever.
It’s so hard for me to wrap my head around and I know I’m majorly projecting into the future but I just love my kids with all of my heart and the idea of losing them one day is so awful. I really thought if I just get a girl I can always be a mom to her. Now with boys it just feels like my days are numbered. They’ll love me when they’re little, but then that’ll be it. I’ll be washed up at 45.
I’m sure a lot of these feelings are hormonal but I needed to get them out. I know I will love this baby with everything I have, but I will always miss the daughter I’ve imagined having since I was a little girl.