Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[LucyJ]

everyone I've been reading but havent had a chance to respond Im back home now and Benjamin is playing so thought Id take a few moments to say hello.

Hoping, Sugar and Vicky thank you so much for your kind words it really helped me and your all right I shouldnt let it get to me and shouldnt question my relationship with Benjamin as I know its strong. The proof at how crap my hv is is shes indentifed me but hasnt bothered contacting me to see how we're doing. I am going to investigate if theres anyway I can have a different hv as dont feel comfortable with her.

Sugar sounds like you had a fab jubliee we really enjoyed the weekend made me very proud to be british.

Round that sounds so scary but glad all is ok and Im so exicted for you not long to go.

Hoping I am so glad you mentioned that I've expereinced phantom kicks but thought it was all in my head I mentioned it to steve and he thought I was a bit crazy glad its not just me.

Sassy Im so sorry about Zac hope you get an appointment for today and everything is aright I can only imgaine how scary it all is massive

Amy yay for a girls night out I havent had one yet I should organise one and yay to your hubby coming home thats going to be great for you

SM so lovely to see you Adam is a cutie.

Nato so lovely to see you how are you?

Vicky first of well done on the bonus at work so proud of you and secondly oh my god at your inlaws I was reading your post in shock I cant believe they have treated you the way they have and Im disgusted by it and then I read about poor Hero I cant get my head round it to not like you for whatever crazy reasons they have is one thing but to not see Hero and favour her cousin makes me so cross they are totally out of order. I think lossing your temper may not of been the best thing to do but to be honest I think you've been a saint to not lose it before I think I would of. The girls have given you great advice Im really pleased to hear that Alex is supporting you. A break sounds like a good idea you need some space from them maybe Alex can talk to them and make them understand how you feel. As far as your sil wtf what a nutter Im shocked that her husband and mil would stand there holding a mat over lo head while she fed him seriously!!!!!

Afm: we had a great jubille weekend at my parents Benjamin has been as good as gold and loved being at home we went to see one of the beacons being lit monday night which was fantastic Benjamin loved it then we came home and watched the concert which we had recorded. We're back home now and have a quite day mainly because its wet and miserable but also because Im having my first AF since having Benjamin and oh my god its hurts My baby is now 10 months cant believe how quickly the last few months have gone

 

[vickyd]

Happy ten months Benjamin!!!

 

[NatoPMT]

The SIL's poor baby. What a lovely role model

Not only are they favoring her cousin, they are also saying negative things about her mother. That isn't healthy for her to be around. .

Nato, so good to see you pop in. Loving all the pics on FB. Those cheeks definitely rival Penny's!.

Thank you!

The point above (not about me being back, about negative things about Hero's mummy) is really important.

Parents of divorced children often see and hear negative things said by their parents about the other parent. This is SO damaging. If Hero's grandparents make it clear, either explicitly or implicitly that her mother is neurotic, not good enough, not deserving of being in the family, or just bad in their opinion, a child's effective reaction to this is 'well, i am half of my mother, so does that make me half bad too'?

A child needs to be nurtured in a loving environment, and they cant provide that. I am being more dismissive of them and less diplomatic than hearty was because i have been subject to this crap the whole of my life, and it does touch a nerve with me as I have had my grandparents dislike me, my grandparents dislike my mother and my mother HATES my father, my father dislikes my mother. So the message i got when i was growing up was that i was all bad. Not even half. And i really did play to that role. You dont want a teenager like me (i say that flippantly as Hero is not in the same predicament i was, but you just cant predict the effects negative family relationships will have on a child)....but that also goes for you too to try not to demonstrate your feelings towards them in Hero's presence.

If Alex is reluctant, the only thing i can think of is not rewarding their negative behaviour. Like how you train a dog. Dont engage with it at all. Assume you are on your own so to speak, so don't give them the power by allowing them to make hero's lunch then not do it. Always have a discreet back up. If they make a negative comment, turn to someone else with a breezy change of subject so they dont get the reward of seeing your reaction or you trying in whatever way to redeem or defend yourself. Sounds like youve pretty much had to do that up till now, so its a case of keeping the power and control out of their hands.

Hi hopesy! My voice is dreadful. I speak in a higher voice when i talk to Weezy, but i normally sound like a fishwife. Or a foghorn as my mum used to say. Any teeth appearing yet?

Sugar: i think about seeing Eloise as a little girl, running around and chattering too, I'm glad shes just a little baby for now though, it will all go too quickly

Hi Sassy, hope all is well in two baby land!

AFM: Since christmas, I have now lost 16lbs of the 28lbs i had to lose. I am now below pre-pregnancy weight and have 12 more to get to pre-mc weight. I still cant do up my old jeans though, but they now get past my behind.

Yesterday Eloise went completely mental, she's always a bit mental, but last night she went completely la la. She was shrieking, and squealing and bouncing around, but it was the wild eyed look on her face that really got me, she was manic. It was so funny, every time she hears any beat, or a voice singing she goes into a frenzy of jumping and squealing. I clap my hands and say 'dance, dance' dance' dance' and she starts bouncing up and down in time, she even does it to police sirens. Then she drained her bottle like it was a shot and then hit the wall, fell face down, comatose. She's a Libran and this morning was the transit of Venus across the sun, so I blame that.

 

[NatoPMT]

Hoping, Sugar and Vicky thank you so much for your kind words it really helped me and your all right I shouldnt let it get to me and shouldnt question my relationship with Benjamin as I know its strong. The proof at how crap my hv is is shes indentifed me but hasnt bothered contacting me to see how we're doing. I am going to investigate if theres anyway I can have a different hv as dont feel comfortable with her.

Sassy Im so sorry about Zac hope you get an appointment for today and everything is aright I can only imgaine how scary it all is massive

SM so lovely to see you Adam is a cutie.

Vicky first of well done on the bonus at work

Afm: we had a great jubille weekend at my parents Benjamin has been as good as gold and loved being at home we went to see one of the beacons being lit monday night which was fantastic Benjamin loved it then we came home and watched the concert which we had recorded. We're back home now and have a quite day mainly because its wet and miserable but also because Im having my first AF since having Benjamin and oh my god its hurts My baby is now 10 months cant believe how quickly the last few months have gone

I've missed so much!

Happy 10 months to BabyBenjy! Soon I'll have to stop calling him BabyBen

I didnt see your post about the HV but I'm already annoyed with her just from reading the above

Im fine thanks Luce x

 

[vickyd]

Nato for now my plan of action is not to see them for a couple of weeks. I know my limits and am pretty sure that ill be waiting for a snide remark from them to blow up all over again. I should have reacted to them earlier or to each occasion as it happened. Now there is too much baggage and ive crossed over. If Alex wants his parents to know Hero he can start doing something about it. If not so be it, i have enough problems of my own without trying to make them see what they are doing. In the end it will be their loss. Hero is adored by all my family and they will overcompensate for the lack of from Alex's side.

Nato i think maybe your pelvic region has not shrunk to its original form. I was suprised that although i hadnt lost my pregnancy pounds after a year i somehow managed to one fit back into my pre-pregnancy jeans. My sister who saw me in a bikini this weekend said that my original body shape is emerging again. However, i have been eating too much the past week, a combination of AF and crazy SIL for 4 days pushed me into junk food madness...

 

[NatoPMT]

I think 2 weeks is bloody generous.

That might be the case, so in addition to that, there is a lot of fat in the way, squidging up over my waistband when i try and do the buttons up. I might need to be lighter than before to get them up now.

My hips could actually do with being a bit wider, id be in better proportion if they were - i look like ive carried a baby in my thighs for 9 months.

 

[Sassy_TTC]

Just a quick update on Zac, been at the hospital today and have to go back at 08:30 for further testing. They suspected enlarged/fused vertebra in his spine but an x-ray showed it is perfect, the lump is between his spine and skin so tomorrow he'll have scans etc to try to find out what it is.

He's knackered bless him, he's been poked and prodded all day, his little hands are black from his blood tests

Hope you're all ok.xx

 

[hoping:)]

Sassy I hope the next set of tests prove that he is perfect and he won't have to keep going through tests. Pleas keep us updated. Poor little guy

Lucy- Happy 10 months to Ben!!! The 1st AF is the worst. I hope the next one isn't too rough on you.

Nato- foghorn I can't imagine that! My voice goes high when I am talking to Penny as well I loved the cheek rivalry picture... she is just so darn cute!

 

[NatoPMT]

Oh sassy, Im sorry to hear about Zac needing tests, poor little fella - love to you all x

 

[NatoPMT]

Nato- foghorn I can't imagine that! My voice goes high when I am talking to Penny as well I loved the cheek rivalry picture... she is just so darn cute!

That was her face when i told her about Penny. She aint happy, but she's still cute!

 

[vickyd]

Oh Sass poor Zac....I hope tomorrow is the last of it....Give him tons of cuddles from me!

 

[Jaymes]

Hope baby Zac doesn't have to go through too much more before they figure it out.

 

[heart tree]

Oh Sassy, what an ordeal. I'm glad to hear his vertebrae is ok. I hope they figure out what the lump is and can easily treat it. Will be thinking of you and Zac. xoxo

 

[LucyJ]

Sassy will be thinking of you and Zac tomorrow

Thanks hoping I've always suffered painful periods but I guess after 18 months without them I forgot how bad they could be. Luckily Benjamin has been good as gold today so Ive been able to take it easy we are off out tomorrow to little explorers.

Nato I know hes getting so grown up now think I'll still be calling him babyben when hes 18

 

[Dazed]

Poor baby Zac, hope tomorrow goes smooth for you

 

[hoping:)]

Sassy- I hope everything went ok with Zac's test

How is everyone? It is super quite in here.

AFM- I had my first BNB meetup yesterday and it was a success! Jaymie and her family are lovely If you have us on your facebook you probably saw the cute picture of B and Penny.

I hope everyone has a good weekend

 

[Jaymes]

Thanks! We had a great time with you and Penny! She really is so much tinier than she looks online! LOL!

We went to the sand dunes today, I have a picture posted on FB. Lexi LOVED playing in the sand, and there was a stream that went through it, she had so much fun suiting in the water and kicking her little feet! It was adorable! I met a woman there who was due on the same day as me, she was also having a boy and was about as large as me around the middle. She was a little shorter than me, not so easy of a task, I'm pretty short! We had fun and I'm hoping no one is burned...

 

[Allie84]

Oh, fun, I've always wanted to do the sand dunes but haven't done it (also haven't gone up Pikes Peak despite living in the Springs for 10 years).

Glad the meet up was a success! I will hopefully be meeting Hoping in a little over a month.

Sassy, thinking of you.

I haven't read back more than this page...and I'm off to do homework while Alistair naps. Le sigh. We're taking him to the pool tonight which I'm very excited about!

 

[hoping:)]

Jaymes- lol like I told you... the cheeks throw everyone off I'm glad you guys liked the sand dunes. I'll have to check out FB when I get home.

Allie- Yes! We will for sure have to get together

 

[LucyJ]

How is everyone? Hope you've all had a good weekend its been wet and miserable here really wouldnt know its June so we've had a quite weekend. Starting thinking about what to do for Benjamins birthday. Did a bit of shopping and had a look at dresses for my brothers wedding which is in Nov so got plenty of time tried a beautiful dress on may have been a bit over the top for their simple wedding and was definitely over budget note to self always check price tag before trying on.

Benjamins top two teeth have popped through they took their sweet time and caused him a lot of pain poor baby. He's back to his normal mischevious self today.

Hoping gald you had a great time Jaymes saw the pic of B and penny together so cute.