Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[Round2]

Mel, did you post what happened? I must have missed that somewhere. Sounds like team yellow still?

Lucy, sorry you're feeling so rough. Is it a cold/flu or just pregnancy hormornes? You're a brave woman to stay team yellow. I couldn't deal with not knowing, I'm too much of a control freak!

Allie, sorry to hear you might need c-section next time. I had a 3rd degree tear with Maddy and a 2nd degree with Bryce. Not fun, I'm definatley experiencing some issues with incontinence (TMI)!

I hope both of you get a vaginal birth the second time around. As painful and traumatic as I found Bryce's birth, I'm actually glad that I got experience labor without an epidural. It is weird how women crave the pain. I remember screaming at my husband durring Bryce's delivery that I would never have another child again. How soon we forget!!

Hearty, we have clingy babies here too! Bryce is just starting to 'make strange' this week too. Nobody can hold him but me, and he won't let me put him down. It's exhausting and fustrating and kind of wonderful all at the same time! I love that I am the center of his universe but am getting burnt out.

Maddy is 6 years old and still a clingy baby. She sometimes waits outside of Bryce's room for more than hour waiting for me to finish up with Bryce so I can snuggle with her. Daddy is never a good enough substitute!!

Everyone is finally healthy here. Bryce is sleeping a little better now. He's doing about 3-4 hours, then getting up every 2 hours. Just the fact I can get 3-4 hours of solid sleep has greatly improved my energy. We tried CIO and didn't work, so I'm just trying to go with the flow for now. I know he won't do this forever and I know there will come a time when I will crave midnight snuggles!

 

[Sugarlove2]

Hi girls. Amy nice to see you on here and good news about ttc no 2.

Lucy, sorry to hear you're feeling rubbish. Get well soon!

Great news about Hero's tests Vicky!

Hoping, Penny sounds like such a little character! How cute kissing the cross!

I'm another one with a fire cracker of a daughter! Charlotte is into absolutely everything and has me run ragged by the end of the day. Most of my friends have had boy babies and she is way more active than them. I call her Charlie Barley as a nickname and my friends were saying she really suits Charlie as she's so tomboyish

Funny that you are talking about clingy behaviour, as Charlotte cried when I left her with my Mum today and the other day when I left her at nursery. She's usually fine and will quite happily play at the opposite end of the room to me on her own, as long ash she can see me.

Allie sorry to hear you may have to have a c section with your next one, but it sounds way better than anal issues etc.

AFM, I got another positive FRER test this morning, but again fainter. The spotting had stopped completely and I had a brief period of optimism, until I started bleeding heavily with nasty cramps mid morning. In a way, it was a relief just to get it over with. I've felt in limbo all week. I cried a lot yesterday, but feel a lot better today.

I'm thinking of booking to see a specialist at one of the clincs I went to before having Charlotte. I'm still convinced I've got a progesterone deficiency and a short luteal phase and the only pregnancy that was successful was the one where I was prescribed clomid and progesterone. I'm not right keen to taking clomid again, because of the high risk of twins, but if I could get some progesterone, I'm hoping this might do the trick. I wish I could just get it on the NHS, but they are totally crap where I live.

Mel, looking forward to hearing what team you are!

 

[heart tree]

Sugar, I'm so sorry. What a sad day today with you and Dazed! I also have a short luteal phase. My progesterone tests never showed that I had an issue, but the only pregnancy that was successful was the one where I took progesterone and did Femara (similar to Clomid). I think that's a good plan for you. I hope you can get some.

Round, so happy to hear you are sleeping better! Last night Delilah was up every 2-3 hours and I feel like a wreck. I don't know what's wrong. We've let her cry at times, but I'm not ready for the full on CIO plan. I'm not sure I ever will be. You aren't the only person I've talked to who said it didn't work for them.

Mel posted on FB that the baby wouldn't show it's bits. Where is she now???

 

[heart tree]

Lucy, just saw your post. I can't believe how sick you are now! You poor thing! Feel better soon. If I ever had another baby I might stay team yellow. I needed to know about Delilah, but now that I have the girl I was craving, I wouldn't care what the next one was. But I doubt that will happen.

Amber, I missed your post too. I would be jealous of Tim being a SAHD too! It's wonderful and hard all at once. Glad you didn't mess up your car too badly! How's the surrogacy journey going?

Allie, how is your mom?

 

[LucyJ]

Round its a cold on top of feeling rough because of the pregnancy. I definitely feel worse this time round than I did with Benjamin.

I found it easy staying team yellow with Benjamin considering how many scans I had I was never tempted.

Amanda its been horrid I did start to feel better had a good day then vad day so was hoping it would be getting easier the closer I got to the 2nd tri then got hit with this cold. Poor Benjamins not 100% either.

Sugar I am sorry

 

[hoping:)]

Lucy- the surprise sounds lovely but I don't think I would be strong enough to wait that long. At our 13 week scan with Penny I was already asking the ultrasound tech to give me a guess at what she was

Pregnancy and sickness on top of caring for a toddler sounds rough! I've been exhausted by 2pm and I only have a minor cold. I hope you get over it quickly so it doesnt spoil your plans.

Round- 3-4 hours sounds rough but I guess you have to take what you can get. I think it is sweet both of your kids are head over heels for their mommy.

Sugar- Penny is part Tom boy as well but also loves girly things. One minute she is trying on shoes and then next eating dirt out of my potted plant and climbing book shelvesClomid and progesterone did the trick for us. I think Femara has a lower risk of multiples. Maybe you can try that?

Amanda- the surrogacy journey is at a standstill for the moment. I'm waiting for them to line up some more couples. The agency works with a handful of doctors but I'm only approved by 2 so we have to wait until we get a couple who is working with them. I'm hoping by the end of next month we will be matched.

 

[NatoPMT]

Sugar, I'm so, so sorry, I'm glad you're feeling a little better. You need some time and lots of love from your lovely family. It's really difficult when you don't have evidence to give proof that you need certain meds. Im the same with all the crap I took, but in your case I would request an NHS progesterone 21 day test - you could also temp and establish your LP length a evidence, would your GP prescribe with that? Mine has been great, you might be surprised.

I read Heartys post mentioning bad news for Dazed with a very heavy heart.

Allie, I caught up on your mum's story, I'm glad that her levels are rising, but i know this isn't going to get any easier overall with her bipolar. I'm so sorry that I cant offer any proper advice, but I have been thinking of you and your dad, he must be going through hell too. Just anecdotally, between the mummies i meet at play groups and my friends, girls seem to be easier, i think our disco boys are different to the norm. I had an episiotomy which took 8 months to heal properly. Bum rips are horrible.

Vic - great news that Hero is healthy. I hope that helps allay your anxieties regarding the concerns you had, I know things have been tough for you recently so this is a good time for clearing out the past for yours, Alex's and Hero's future.

Amy - good to see you back. Need to message you about easter too, sorry I'm so flaky!!

Lucy - glad you are trying for a VBACs, its also kind of nice that you and your new baby will have an experience thats unique to you and him/her. The water birth and birthing centre bit at my hospital is pretty much like the midwife centre but the emergency equipment is only 1 floor away (as i did need it), but you get the best of both worlds. Hows the eczema? Hope youre feeling better soon, you need your food!

Hoping - Love the story about Penny kissing the cross - they know you know. Whats the update on he surrogacy situation? Eloise is the same, whoever she spends time with, she clings to. During the week its me and at weekends John gets the treatment.

She's like my little shadow, she tries to turn me round when im doing the washing up, she plonks herself on my foot if I ask her to wait. If we are sat down playing, she's happily doing her thing, i go to stand up and she squeals and grabs my leg. She's also very cuddly, she will sit on my knee with her arms round me or lie on me for 20 mins at a time.

She's still a little weirdo though, she has to touch every lamp post we pass, is obsessed with aeroplanes and if she can hear one she runs round the garden until she can see it and then waves at it and copies all the moves on dance videos on the telly

Hi to Hearty, Rounders, gibs and Mel.

AFM: all is well here, Im 1dpo today and have properly tried this month. Got a 21 year university reunion next weekend, i will be 8dpo. Annoyingly too early for testing. Not sure whether to have a few drinks, i remember reading that before bfp the baby doesnt get negatively affected by alcohol, does anyone know if thats true or would you just not risk it?

Thinking of ideas to start a business up so i dont have to carry on with my studies or get a job. Seriously researching opening a children's centre.

did you know this thread has been viewed nearly half a million times. I need to stop talking about my crack habit on here.

 

[VGibs]

Nato - You wrote "...have properly tried this month. Got a 21 year university..." My hyperlexic brain immediately put "student". I had some vision of you tying some young man down and having your way with him. Then my super fast brain thought "Well where is her hunky hubby?" I AM MENTALLY ILL.

 

[heart tree]

Love it Gibs! Hilarious!

Nato, I've never heard that a drink or 2 will hurt a fresh bean. I think it has to do with the fact that the baby isn't getting nourished from the placenta yet. That being said, I feel like I wouldn't risk it. I also decided not to exercise after I found out I was pregnant. I also stopped drinking caffeine entirely. I didn't want to have any reason to blame myself.

Allie, it sounds like your mom is ok? I have to go read your journal.

My baby isn't sleeping well these days. She's up every 3 hours or so. It's exhausting and I don't know why she's up so often.

To all of you: when did your babies start sleeping through the night and how did it manifest? Did it just happen? Did you do CIO? Something else? I need ideas.

 

[NatoPMT]

My baby isn't sleeping well these days. She's up every 3 hours or so. It's exhausting and I don't know why she's up so often.

To all of you: when did your babies start sleeping through the night and how did it manifest? Did it just happen? Did you do CIO? Something else? I need ideas.

sorry youre getting so little sleep, I'm like Vicky and co sleep when she wakes. Here's my vote for co sleeping....

I put her in her cot and she often wakes once in the night. She wakes up crying and upset so I collect her from her room and put her in bed with me and she goes straight back to sleep until 8.30am. Sometimes she sleeps all night in her cot and occasionally she has a really bad night and I have to take her into the lounge to settle her.

She doesn't like being alone in her room whens he wakes and she's only a little girl so when she needs company she gets it.

CIO isn't for me. Unfortunately the friend I mentioned a few weeks ago who used CIO and it worked after 1 night is back to square 1 with her baby waking every few hours too. I'm honestly not sure how well CIO works for allowing your baby to feel secure. My feeling is that CIO doesn't address the needs of the baby and babies aren't meant to be alone. But I take the path of least resistance to make Eloise happy in respect of which battles I choose to fight, a scared, lonely baby isn't a battle i want to fight - i think she's more clingy than many babies so its not right for her. She's a happy little soul but needs company. My aim is to allow her to be secure enough to be independent when she's ready.

I think confident babies are better with being alone so its worth a try for those babies.

Ive seen how meeting her needs get results in other areas. A few people I know feel that cuddling a toddler when they bump their heads / hurt themselves is mollycoddling and encourages an extreme reaction and crying as their crying is validated. However, with Eloise, she has a low pain threshold and used to cry every easily when hurt. John used to tell me 'she's ok, don't pick her up' but I used to negotiate that we would reduce that attention as she grew to which he agreed. Now, when she bumps herself she starts laughing. If she cries, we know she has actually hurt herself and to respond properly. I am seeing such positive results in the areas where i have accommodated her

This sums up how i feel

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blo...n-protest-bedtime-story-evolutionary-mismatch

John doesn't feel quite the same and would prefer her to be in her room all the time, but agrees he doesn't want Eloise to have unnecessary fears at this time of her life so agrees to it, when he needs to get up early he will sleep in the spare room.

It does seem to be more likely to be the men who don't want the baby in their room, just from speaking to my friends, they want to have sex...but if you put the baby in their cot until the first waking, that means you have the first part of the night alone.

It honestly feels completely right to do this, and I just cant imagine feeling CIO would feel right and im a believer in instinct. I think you have to do whatever gets you the results you need to function the best you can, because happy mummy is the 1st step to happy baby, if you need to do CIO I will fully support you, but if you can, co sleeping is the baby friendly option.

If you can't, you sleeping is the next priority so whatever gets you that will benefit her. Also, when i saw my friend's baby after the CIO worked the 1st night, he was like a different baby as he was actually getting the sleep he needed...unfortunately that didnt last, but it showed me that babies need sleep as much as their mummies and that will improve her as well as you

 

[NatoPMT]

Ive copied and pasted the article I linked below - it really is interesting.


Infants and young children in our culture regularly protest going to bed. They make all sorts of excuses. They say they are not tired, when in fact they obviously are tired. They say they are hungry, or thirsty, or need to hear a story (and then one more story)–anything to stall. They talk about being afraid of the dark, or afraid of monsters in the closet or under the bad. Little babies without language, who can't yet describe their fears or try to negotiate, just scream.
Why all this protest? Many years ago, the famous behavioral psychologist John B. Watson argued, essentially, that such behavior is pathological and derives from parents' overindulgence and spoiling of children.[1] Remnants of that view still persist in books on baby care, where the typical advice is that parents must be firm about bedtime and not give in. This, the experts say, is a battle of wills, and you, as parent, must win it to avoid spoiling your child.

But clearly something is missing in this explanation from the experts. Why do infants and young children choose to challenge their parents' will on this particular issue? They don't protest against toys, or sunlight, or hugs (well, usually not). Why do they protest going to bed, when sleep is clearly good for them and they need it?

The answer begins to emerge as soon as we leave the Western world and look at children elsewhere. Bedtime protest is unique to Western and Westernized cultures. In all other cultures, infants and young children sleep in the same room and usually in the same bed with one or more adult caregivers, and bedtime protest is non-existent.[2]. What infants and young children protest, apparently, is not going to bed per se, but going to bed alone, in the dark, at night. When people in non-Western cultures hear about the Western practice of putting young children to bed in separate rooms from themselves, often without even an older sibling to sleep with, they are shocked. "The poor little kids!" they say. "How could their parents be so cruel?" Those who are most shocked are people in hunter-gatherer societies, for they know very well why young children protest against being left alone in the dark.[3]

Until a mere 10,000 years ago we were all hunter-gatherers. We all lived in a world where any young child, alone, in the dark, would have been a tasty snack for nighttime predators. The monsters under the bed or in the closet were real ones, prowling in the jungle or savannah, sniffing around, not far from the band's encampment. A grass hut was not protection, but the close proximity of an adult, preferably many adults, was protection. In the history of our species, infants and young children who grew frightened and cried out to elicit adult attention when left alone at night were more likely to survive to pass on their genes to future generations than were children who placidly accepted their fate. In a hunter-gatherer culture only a crazy person or an extremely negligent person would leave a small child alone at night, and at the slightest protest from the child, some adult would come to the rescue.

When your child screams at being put to bed alone at night, your child is not trying to test your will! Your child is screaming, truly, for dear life. Your child is screaming because we are all genetically hunter-gatherers, and your child's genes contain the information that to lie alone in the dark is suicide.

This is an example of the concept of evolutionary mismatch. We have here a mismatch between the environment of our evolutionary ancestors, in which our genetic being was shaped, and the environment in which we live today. In the environment of our evolutionary ancestors, a child alone at night was in serious danger of being eaten. Today, a child alone at night is not in serious danger of being eaten. In the environment of our evolutionary ancestors, no sane parent–or grandparent, or uncle, or aunt, or other adult band member–would ever let a small child sleep alone. If a child were inadvertently left too far from an adult in the dark at night, the child's cry would be immediately heeded. Today, without the realistic dangers, the child's fear seems irrational, so people tend to assume that it is irrational and that the child must learn to overcome it. Or, if they read the "experts," they learn that the child is just testing their will and acting "spoiled". And so, people battle their child rather than listen to the child and to their own gut instincts that tell them that any crying baby needs to be picked up, held close, and cared for, not left alone to "get over it."

What do we do about evolutionary mismatch? In this case, two alternatives appear. We can do what the "experts" advise and engage in a prolonged battle of wills, or we can do what our genes advise and figure out some not too inconvenient way to let our children sleep close to us. When my own son was small, long ago when I was a graduate student, the choice was easy. We lived in a one-room apartment, so there was no way to put him to bed separate from us. In some ways life is easier when you are poor than when you can afford an apartment or house with more than one room.

-----

What do you do, or did you do, about your children's bedtime? Was it a problem? How did you resolve it? I'm especially interested in the experiences of people who have made the choice–contrary to most pediatricians' advice--to allow their children to sleep with them. How did you make that work?

As always, I prefer if you post your comments and questions here rather than send them to me by private email. By putting them here, you share with other readers, not just with me. I read all comments and try to respond to all serious questions. Of course, if you have something to say that applies only to you and me, then send me an email.

I looked up the behaviourist mentioned, who advocated the battle of wills that CIO becomes and who forms the basis of many current theories of sleep control. Because we need to go to work and don't live with extended family to help look after babies, its often easier for his beliefs to be incorporated into our lives, however as the article above suggests, is it more of an inconvenience to have your child in your room than to effectively argue with them over something that they cant control and is embedded in our DNA

John B Watson's beliefs:

he warns against the inevitable dangers of a mother providing too much love and affection. Watson explains that love, along with everything else as the behaviorist saw the world, is conditioned. Watson supports his warnings by mentioning invalidism, saying that society does not overly comfort children as they become young adults in the real world, so parents should not set up these unrealistic expectations. Writer Suzanne Houk, Psychological Care of Infant and Child: A Reflection of its Author and his Times, critiques Watson’s views, analyzing his hope for a businesslike and casual relationship between a mother and her child.[12] Watson also warned to avoid letting the infant sit on a parents’ lap.[14]

 

[VGibs]

I tried a different version of CIO with both my kids. I sat in the room with them while they cried. I didn't talk to them but I stroked their face and rubbed their back until they fell asleep. With Aurora it lasted 1 week, and with MeMe it took me 3 days. They have both slept through the night ever since. MeMe normally has a bottle of water with her in bed and the only time she may wake up is if she needs a drink and the bottle is empty. Sometimes when she isn't feeling well her daddy will take her out and sleep with her, which drives me nuts because then I am the one who has to deal with the tantrums when I try and sleep her alone.

 

[pregoinnorge]

We went back and forth with the thought of CIO. We tried it half heartedly a few times but I just can't let her cry for more than 5 min max, and that's only if she's just whining. If she is full-on crying or screaming I have to comfort her.

What I have noticed though is that things are always changing...a few good nights, even weeks and then a couple "bad" nights where she wakes up a few times. We never get too comfortable because we know an illness or tooth or travel will just mess everything up anyway. And at the same time because we know she is capable of sleeping long stretches that she will do that again too. She almost always wants milk when she wakes up and because she's so tiny I just can't deny her maybe we're doing it all wrong but it's a situation we can handle and still manage to function at work. If the situation is not working for you, then by all means experiment hugs!

 

[NatoPMT]

We went back and forth with the thought of CIO. We tried it half heartedly a few times but I just can't let her cry for more than 5 min max, and that's only if she's just whining. If she is full-on crying or screaming I have to comfort her.

What I have noticed though is that things are always changing...a few good nights, even weeks and then a couple "bad" nights where she wakes up a few times. We never get too comfortable because we know an illness or tooth or travel will just mess everything up anyway. And at the same time because we know she is capable of sleeping long stretches that she will do that again too. She almost always wants milk when she wakes up and because she's so tiny I just can't deny her maybe we're doing it all wrong but it's a situation we can handle and still manage to function at work. If the situation is not working for you, then by all means experiment hugs!

Eloise has relapses when teething or poorly too

I don't think you're doing it wrong, if you can manage it and its what you're comfortable with then its right for you and your family, which is what everyone has to find for themselves.

 

[vickyd]

hero is just like Eloise in the sleep issue. If shes in my bed then 99% of the time she will sleep 10 hours non-stop, if she wakes in her room alone she will not self settle and in the rare chance she does she will repeat the whole thing 3 hours down the line. Honestly, i love co-sleeping and have practiced it from day one. i also over cuddle hero when she falls or hits her head or has teething blues. Honestly though i think this has done wonders for her confidence. Everytime we are at some toddler group im amazed with how much more outgoing and fearless she is compared to the others. So I dont buy the attachment parenting causing independence problems. The only problem is my back and the fact that my bed room doesnt fit a larger bed haha!!! At the end of the day, me and Alex get our alone time from 9.30 pm till about 3 am when she comes into our room. Its not like im gonna wake up at 4 am wanting sex hahah!!!!

 

[vickyd]

Oh and not to brag or anything but everone comments on what a happy toddler hero is. For a full time working mom (and then some) this is music to my ears! I must be doing something right no?

 

[NatoPMT]

That's what I think too Vic. Theres a woman in Highbury Fields who always says 'Ooo its the happy baby" whenever i see her - I am doing something right defo - or whats right for Eloise anyway. She defo isn't outgoing or fearless but she is happy and slightly nutty.

I can see there's a place for CIO if you are just not getting any sleep at all (although i think co sleeping helps the no sleep at all thing) or if you have more than one, i actually don't know how people manage more than one. My sister had a 2 year old and twin babies. I think i would just combust if I had to cope with that many of them and was completely outnumbered. Its no wonder younger siblings are more likely to grow up with emotional stuff statistically, the older ones have the quality time before theres 2 of them

 

[Sugarlove2]

Hearty, I've never really used the CIO. That's not to say that I wouldn't try it though, if I had a child with serious sleep issues. Tbh, we've been very lucky with Charlotte's sleeping. She has slept through the night from a young age. She just did it herself really. The odd night when she does wake up, I go in and try and cuddle her back to sleep, then when I transfer her back to her cot, I keep my hand placed on her chest till she settles again. She comes into the bed with us as a last resort, because I don't want to make a habit of it, and I also don't tend to sleep well with her in the bed with us, as I worry about rolling on her or the cover going over her face (even at 13 mnths old) I think you've just got to do what feels right for you.

What I still do which is probably naughty, is to still give her her a bottle feed at about 10.30am. I keep trying over and over again to drop it, but every time I do, she wakes up at 2/3ish for it. I think it's to do with her not eating as much as she should through the day, but she's a terrible eater.

Fab that Hero is such a happy toldder Vicky. Sounds like you're defo doing something right!

Nato, hope you catch the egg this month!

Afm, I had a scary night on Friday. Heard Charlotte whimpering and went in and she had laboured breathing and was trembling. She was also absolutely boiling. Went on like this for a while, until we decided to take her to A and E at about 3.30am to get her checked out. She was sick all over me as we got ready. Turns out she has something called broncholitis, which is a viral infection that should clear up on its own, but makes it difficult to breathe. The exact same thing happened last night. I did bring her in the bed with us then, as I was frightened and wanted to keep an eye on her. She's been fine through the day, just seems to be the night time when she struggles to breathe. I really hope it doesn't happen again tonight, I don't think my nerves could take it!

 

[Sugarlove2]

Nato, I forgot to say I don't really refrain from drinking in the 2ww anymore. Since it took a year to get a BFP with Charlotte, I gave up trying to be good. When I finally got preggers, I had got extremely drunk on my cruise as I thought I was out that month with bleeding. I don't see how a few drinkies would hurt that early on.

 

[LucyJ]

Benjamin started sleeping through at 9 months he did it himself we didnt have to use cc/cio were we did have problems was getting him down he wasnt going down till 9pm sometimes later and it was always a fight so I did use a sleep technique Id put him down leave him a few mins when he was crying then would go and see him I wouldnt pick him up but lie him back down tell him it was time to sleep sing twinkle twinkle little star say goodnight and leave him if he'd cry Id leave him 5 mins and repeat the first night it took an hr the second night it took 40 mins the 3rd night he went down no problems. He nows (well in theory goes down at 8/8:15). We also cosleep if he wakes in the night I leave him for a few mins to see if he'll settle unless his cry sounds very distress if he doesnt self settle after a few mins he comes in with us which isnt ideal but only because hes such a wriggler even when hes fast asleep he moves around so much. At the moment hes got a cold so has been waking every night and coming in with us. Im pretty confident when hes better he'll go back to sleeping through.

I had a lot of people tell me how I was creating a rod for mine own back as I let him sleep with me nap on me etc. I was told that by letting him sleep with us/on me (as he use to when he was tiny) I would create a clingy baby who was dependent on me wouldnt go to other people which is the exact opposite I have a very confident happy little boy who doesnt cling to me I sometimes think he doesnt notice when I go, this afternoon being a perfect example we had a big family meal he was happy playing with his cousins chatting with his uncle/auntie seeing his grammy and grandad. He came to me as much as his daddy he'll come and have a hug then off he goes. I wasnt feeling to great so went and had a lie down in my parents room we ate at the hotel they were staying at and he was fine in fact he used steve walking me to the lift to escape everyone thought he was with us he was found in the kitchen by one of the waitresses

I generally believe there are times that he wakes during the night that he just needs the reassurance and comfort of being with his daddy and mummy. When he's ill or teething it effects his sleep the other thing that has an impact on how he sleeps is if he hasnt eaten enough we have been know to give him food at 9pm as he wont settle and once hes had something to munch on he'll sleep through if hes off his food I know he wont sleep well. The temperature effects him to if it suddenly drops over night which it has done recently (its been freezing) it wakes him.

Sometimes I worry that he sleeps with us to much and worry that its becoming a habit as I know he can sleep through and self settle (so when he doesnt theres something wrong I think). With number 2 on the way it I worry what we will do as our bed isnt big enough for us, him a baby and not forgetting mickey mouse for a small cuddly toy he takes up a lot of room!!

I think you know your little one best and you have to do what feels right for you both.