Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[msarkozi]

Oh Hearty, I am so ready for him to vacate so that all the aches and pains can stop. Of course I would like to keep him in for at least 6 more weeks. I have my consult appt on Thursday with the other doctor, and he will do a scan at the same time. So if he is weighing in larger then what he should be, they will want to induce. I am pretty sure he is still sitting breech right now, just from the placement of the kicks I feel. I think I am going to request the c section though, mostly for Gord's benefit (he will know for sure when the baby is coming and will be able to get off work ahead of time, and I won't have to try to track him down instead from the middle of the bush!).

My mom made gingersnaps for me, and I can't stop eating them!! I keep going back to the bag as soon as I finish one.....they taste so good!!! Mom even made us turkey soup, which we had for supper tonight. I definitely enjoyed having them here. It was a great visit.

 

[Megg33k]

Hoping for lots of BFP's from you girls this cycle! Can't wait! I think 2011 is going to start big!!!!

 

[Megg33k]

yes, i can see that, i hope very very hard that you do see that flashing light/s - do ivf dates differ from natural dates? ie, when do they measure the start of the pregnancy from? is your 6+3 the same as the usual 50% chance of seeing hb at that date?

They measure the start of the pregnancy from the date of egg retrieval/fertilization! They started growing on Dec 7. So, the dates start from "ovulation" just like everyone else... and they add the standard 14 days before that. So, I was 2+0 on the day of egg retrieval. I guess it is still 50/50, but I found an IVF thread full of "when did you see a heartbeat?" answers, and almost everyone saw it at their first 6-ish week u/s.

 

[Allie84]

Good luck with your upcoming ultrasounds Dawny, Nato, Mel, Lucy and Megg! And anyone else who has them coming up.

I think a planned birth sounds like a good course of action, Mel, given Gord being out of reach. And you deserve to have these aches and pains over and done with!

Dazed, I hope you caught the egg!

Hearty and/or Nato, what is a follicle count? When I had my ultrasound last cycle he just mentioned one dominant follicle and told me when I should be ovulating. Should he have mentioned multiple follicles? What does counting them mean?

Hearty, I hope they get your records soon and get back to you. I'm sure it will be really nice to finally know what the Dr. thinks.

A bit random, but I got bangs/a fringe today at my hair appointment and I can't get used to them. They're driving me crazy as I peak through them to type...

 

[Megg33k]

PICS! I need pics of bangs/fringe!

 

[msarkozi]

Thanks Allie. I think a planned birth would definitely work better for us. I would hate to be in labour and not be able to get ahold of him. So if we can plan it, then it would make life easier. Gord tells me I can do whatever I want, as it is my body. And bless his heart, as he took this whole week off of work so he could spend time with me, before it gets busy again and he won't be home much. I love that man!

Allie, I totally want to see pictures

 

[grandbleu]

Morning everyone! Hope you've all had good holidays :wave:

I apologize I haven't read everything but just wanted to send out some love and good vibes to anyone who needs it. I'm feeling a bit more hopeful myself for some unknown reason.

So for those who read my journal you know I had a big blowout last night with OH about TTC stuff. Things are definitely better (not perfect). My question though is Sod's Law the day we argued and didn't have sex is the freaking day I ovulated (thank you dear for being late and inadvertently causing us to get into an argument) We've been good about me thinking O day would be the 14th day of my cycle LIKE IT ALWAYS IS except for this one time that we are actually trying hard. BUT we didn't have sex the actual day of ovulation.

Is there still a chance that I could get pregnant or should I not even be hopeful???

TIA

 

[grandbleu]

PS. On a lighter note - Allie - I LOVE bangs...just not on me...I've gotten them twice in my life and they always looked better and sexier in my head...when they are on me they just get all greasy and limp (ummm not so sexy). But I truly wish I could do a mean side sweep...I guess not in this lifetime though.

Are you getting used to them!??

 

[Megg33k]

You don't need to have sex on the day of ovulation, Liz. In fact, its all but too late by O day. You had plenty of swimmers waiting on your egg. Its fine!

 

[grandbleu]

You don't need to have sex on the day of ovulation, Liz. In fact, its all but too late by O day. You had plenty of swimmers waiting on your egg. Its fine!

Thanks Megg - so you think we had enough??? I just got scared that if we didn't do it O day all was lost...OK I will hold onto the hope torch for the next 2 weeks then.

(I will definitely be investing in OPKs next time if I don't get a BFP this cycle so we can avoid the unknown Oday and ensuing argument.)

 

[Megg33k]

Of course it was enough! Don't worry!

 

[Megg33k]

Neurotic Rant:

Spoiler

Back to waking at 4am. Went to sleep right away at midnight, woke at 2am to pee, woke at 4am to pee, and now can't sleep. *sigh*

Every single dream I had last night was about an ultrasound and not a single one made me feel better. One had me and Kevin trapped in the clinic going from room to room trying to get out and just kept finding more exam rooms. They were doing ultrasounds in every room and had the happy couples ooh'ing and ahh'ing over the little babies on the screen. But, we couldn't get out and no one would help us find our exam room. Then, another one was full of people passing me from one sonographer to the next. I don't remember a single person actually examining me, but I knew it was because no one wanted to tell me that there was nothing to see, no baby to look at. It wasn't like I was being paranoid... I was cognitively aware of those circumstances and no one would just tell me. Then, I had one where they started to examine me and then decided we should wait another day... but they kept doing it... day after day they would decide to wait "one more day" in hopes that there would be something to see... and there never was.

Its obvious what's on my mind and how upset I am about going next Friday. And, now that I know 2 people in real life who are similarly pregnant, I feel its imminent that I'll be left behind by those people too... and that's such a hard thing for me to think about. It was one thing to watch tickers change without me, to see weekly bump pics of BnB girls, etc. But, I can't handle being left behind in my real life. I just can't. This is supposed to be forever... and that awful feeling is back in my gut now. I hate my dreams! I HATE THEM!

I just want to go somewhere for the next 10 days and forget that any of this is happening. I want to ignore everything and everyone for the next week and a half! But, more than anything, I just want to know that my baby is still growing rather than me being 10 days away from a broken heart again. I fucking hate this.

 

[grandbleu]

Megg - here's my take on dreams. I think there is definitely some element to truth in dreams but ONLY if you are not yourself obsessing and worried about something (in your case your baby). When I had my M/C dream it was the furthest thing from my radar - I was not worried at all. For me then the dream was definitely a sign. BUT if in your real life your are constantly mauling over the health of your baby then I think dreams are just a reflection and continuation of your real life worries. I hope that makes sense. I don't think it means anything in your case and is not prophetic just a worry dream. That doesn't perhaps make things better but I really think this is your forever baby/ies and they are just fine and growing.

 

[vickyd]

Morning all!

Megg your dream is just a reflection of your anxieties....The fear of once again being left behind is something i also felt and unfortunately still do. I really hope you dont go down my route with the stress and fear, its so draining....Please try and be more optimistic! Im speaking from experience, its sucks being a neurotic worrier...

My dinner went excellent last night! I must say Hearty you were right, the brining makes a world of difference! wow ive never had such a juicy bit of turkey! Alex who never eats turkey ate loads and couldnt stop talking me up at the table. It was worth the trouble definately! Next year i will be more organised with the brining container.

 

[NatoPMT]

yes theres lots of action on your chart bleu, and i have read the best single day to bd is 2 days before ov, so you are well covered. Defo get some opks

I am a bit tired and cranky this morning after my late night roamings.

Hearty, lets hope them there records arrive quickly, time for all all this waiting around to be over. How do you know so much about brining when you are veggie. I dont even know how to cook a sausage

Dazed, ah, thats good that he's showing you that he wants this as much as you do. It must be hard for him too.

haha good plan Dawny. That would be amazing, 'no, there's no polyp, but i see a baby'

Mel, i was breech and my sisters babies were too. I had the cord wrapped round my neck (drama queen from the start). My sister had c sections because of the breech rather than because of needing to plan - i think you are more likely to have breech if you have narrow hips. Blimey, only 9 weeks left. You will have the first disco baby.

Megg, thanks for the explanation - reading that you should see the hb might not be the best thing if its not guaranteed. Dont want you in a tailspin unnecessarily

Yogi, how are you getting on, any news on your next scan?

I wonder how minniemone is getting on too - let us know how you are pet

Allie, pics pics we want pics. Everyone chant together. I have a fringe and its good cos it hides half my face. I dont really know about the follicle count, im just jumping on bandwagons - i will read up in the next day or so and let you know if i find out anything

I just misspelled 'count' and missed the 'o' out. Good job i spotted it.

Megg, those dreams are just reflective of what you have had to go to get here - and as Vicky said, your fears and anxieties around this new pregnancy. As i recall, youve had blood positives that haven't progressed and it feels to me like the 'nothing to see' is coming from that past experience. Also I have had bfp dreams so many times, and not had my bfp. Its much more likely that its whats going on in your head, as opposed to whats going on in your body

 

[Megg33k]

I suppose that's all true. I just hate the way its left me feeling. I was reasonably optimistic, then went to sleep and woke up feeling like this. I think the reason I couldn't go back to sleep was because I was so scared that I'd have the same or similar dreams again. I was just lying there thinking about how much I didn't like the "movie" I was being shown and wanted to turn it off!

I know I'm scared and that must be affecting things. I can't stand how scared I am though. I want my innocence back... I want my pure joy! I don't want to feel like this. Its like we've all been robbed of ever getting to be happy and carefree again. How can I stop? I truly, truly want to stop. I just want to enjoy this... How? Is there anything?

Vicky - You totally made me want turkey, and I don't even like turkey. It sounds amazing though!

 

[NatoPMT]

I suppose that's all true. I just hate the way its left me feeling. I was reasonably optimistic, then went to sleep and woke up feeling like this. I think the reason I couldn't go back to sleep was because I was so scared that I'd have the same or similar dreams again. I was just lying there thinking about how much I didn't like the "movie" I was being shown and wanted to turn it off!

I know I'm scared and that must be affecting things. I can't stand how scared I am though. I want my innocence back... I want my pure joy! I don't want to feel like this. Its like we've all been robbed of ever getting to be happy and carefree again. How can I stop? I truly, truly want to stop. I just want to enjoy this... How? Is there anything?

Im sorry youve had this time stolen from you, and i think every single discorama can relate to that. Also, i think that the excitement and the joy is there to play a huge part in bonding with your future child. However, this IS going to be anxiety ridden, theres no getting away from that. This is now happening not for the joy of being pregnant, but for the fact that you are going to have a family. Thats the TTCAL'er lot. Thats been stolen from us, but having a family is still the gain and the goal. And you are on your way.

 

[Megg33k]

I suppose that's all true. I just hate the way its left me feeling. I was reasonably optimistic, then went to sleep and woke up feeling like this. I think the reason I couldn't go back to sleep was because I was so scared that I'd have the same or similar dreams again. I was just lying there thinking about how much I didn't like the "movie" I was being shown and wanted to turn it off!

I know I'm scared and that must be affecting things. I can't stand how scared I am though. I want my innocence back... I want my pure joy! I don't want to feel like this. Its like we've all been robbed of ever getting to be happy and carefree again. How can I stop? I truly, truly want to stop. I just want to enjoy this... How? Is there anything?

Im sorry youve had this time stolen from you, and i think every single discorama can relate to that. Also, i think that the excitement and the joy is there to play a huge part in bonding with your future child. However, this IS going to be anxiety ridden, theres no getting away from that. This is now happening not for the joy of being pregnant, but for the fact that you are going to have a family. Thats the TTCAL'er lot. Thats been stolen from us, but having a family is still the gain and the goal. And you are on your way.

I feel so guilty that I my baby/ies could be there fighting for me, and I'm not brave enough to have faith in it/them. As disrespectful as it is to my angels, I almost wish I could forget any of it ever happened. I wish I could forget my betas. I wish I could just focus solely on my HPT's and ignore everything else, but I don't know how. And, I feel bad dumping this on you girls, because I should shut up and be happy for the gift I've been given. I just don't know how. I never expected to be this scared. I really, really thought I'd be okay with it all. I feel so naive and foolish.

 

[cazza22]

Megg I was totally there babe, had the worst ultrasound dreams always with the dreaded words that I don't need to repeat on this thread because we've all heard them I also dreamt of bleeding and having negative preg tests I swear there fuckin nightmares is what they are!!! It's all anxiety babe it's hard to switch off even in sleep when those thoughts are very much at the forefront of our minds! Ur babies are gonna be fine meggles just keep positive ok xxx lov ya

 

[NatoPMT]

just going through my christmas photos. Just look at my gorgeous niece.