You are moving out without Alistair? Is that right?
Huge hugs and lots of love x
No Alistair is coming with me. When I said I can't imagine myself without Alistair, I meant I can't imagine ever 'sharing' him. I mean that's the suckiest part of a breakup with children...because I want to be with Alistair every night like a mom should be. And Alistair really prefers me right now. AND I'm still BFing twice a day so I can't really be away from him anyways, for now.
I'm in as much shock at you guys! It all happened last night. I mean, ever since we moved into this cursed house we've been really distant. The dynamic has been off. I keep asking to move and break the lease but Alex doesn't want to. There has been so middle ground on this. I flat out want to move, he flat out doesn't. No one is budging.
This week I've been telling him now that I have a job (20 hours a week research assistanship, but still, it's a paycheck) that I could always instigate a move out anyways and he couldn't 'make' me live here. Yesterday I viewed a new place (Alex new what I was doing) and explained the situation to the new landlord. She was very understanding and told me to bring Alex back today and hopefully he'll come around. She said breaking a lease isn't the end of the world the way Alex seems to think it it.
Last night I said "Look, I like this new place, and it's cleaner and brighter and newer and better than here, I really want US to make this move." And then after talking all night it turned into us having a trial separation with me in the new place!!! It was all his idea last night. He even went through and budgeted how we'd split bills and offered to keep paying my health insurance for now and stuff. He wants to stay in this horrible house. He told me I bring out the worst in him, and he's sick of how I'm never happy with him, and he wants someone more independent and easygoing. I was talking to a friend last night and those are two words that people seem to think I am....so it's weird he thinks I'm not. I mean, yes, I depend on him a lot more than anyone else, but he's my husband.
Sorry for the me me me post and now I have to get ready for school quickly so no time to reply to anyone else yet.