Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[Megg33k]

Oh, a quick AFM... My shot this morning SUCKED! This broadcast was brought to you by the number 3... 3 different needles before my shot got done! The 1st needle felt dull. It hurt, and I couldn't force it in. Then, the 2nd one I opened was crooked. I gave it a try anyway after trying to straighten it a bit, but it wouldn't go in at all. So, the 3rd... FINALLY was fine. It still hurt a bit though. I'm just concerned because I now have 2 days of shots left to take, and I only have 3 syringes! So, if another gets screwed up, I don't have a lot of wiggle room unless I buy more syringes. I knew I should have brought all the ones I had... but I couldn't see any sense in it.

Then, I got out of bed and realized I'd bled through my pad last night. If today gets much worse, I may as well go back to bed now!

Somehow, I still have high hopes for the day though! Don't ask me why or how! LOL

 

[MinnieMone]

happy late thanksgiving american chums, hope you had a lovely day.

Megg, I'm not sure what stimming is, but good luck hun, I'm keeping everything crossed for you. I can understand how you may feel uncomfortable talking to your mate, could you put her off a bit until you feel able to, or just explain how you feel, or maybe she could go back on bnb and share it with others if she needs to get it out. I know how scary it is though in a new rellie and getting preggo, it happened to me within 3 months of meeting M but at the end of the day it's a choice and we wanted it, was she actively trying with her new beau, that would put a new perspective on it.

Sugar - So sorry you were feeling down yesterday sweetie, but yay for being a bit better today, i'm glad your GP is helping with the liver scan, they usually are happy to work in conjuction with private doctors, they is no way you should have to pay for stuff like that.

Hearty - if you get cracking today then you could still catch the eggy non? it is frustrating though when you see the surge and you can't get down to business for whatever reason. Tell Tim not to eat much today!

Nato - whooooooahh, are you saying this girl who dislikes you has to talk about it in a session, and you all have to discuss it.... fook no wonder you are having a bad week. triaspic thingy is good right? and kudos for your self control for not testing, have you had any symptoms at all, so hope this is your month.

I want both those flats! they are gorgeous.

Raz - so glad everything was good at the scan, your ticker is going up so quickly!

I got headhunted for a job yesterday working for some famous bloke, they want me to go for interview next week, but to be honest I just don't feel up to it.... I cried for most of the day when I got off the phone from them as I felt really anxious about working again, and broke down when M got home. He wants me not to think about going back until after xmas.... I guess I'm not as sorted as I thought I was.... I take one step forward then 5 back... did anyone else feel very anxious about everything after their mc, even normal things like going to the shops or getting on the tube, or talking to people, it's only happened this time for me.

Have a lovely day everyone.... will check back in for Nato's testing!

 

[Megg33k]

happy late thanksgiving american chums, hope you had a lovely day.

Megg, I'm not sure what stimming is, but good luck hun, I'm keeping everything crossed for you. I can understand how you may feel uncomfortable talking to your mate, could you put her off a bit until you feel able to, or just explain how you feel, or maybe she could go back on bnb and share it with others if she needs to get it out. I know how scary it is though in a new rellie and getting preggo, it happened to me within 3 months of meeting M but at the end of the day it's a choice and we wanted it, was she actively trying with her new beau, that would put a new perspective on it.

Sugar - So sorry you were feeling down yesterday sweetie, but yay for being a bit better today, i'm glad your GP is helping with the liver scan, they usually are happy to work in conjuction with private doctors, they is no way you should have to pay for stuff like that.

Hearty - if you get cracking today then you could still catch the eggy non? it is frustrating though when you see the surge and you can't get down to business for whatever reason. Tell Tim not to eat much today!

Nato - whooooooahh, are you saying this girl who dislikes you has to talk about it in a session, and you all have to discuss it.... fook no wonder you are having a bad week. triaspic thingy is good right? and kudos for your self control for not testing, have you had any symptoms at all, so hope this is your month.

I want both those flats! they are gorgeous.

Raz - so glad everything was good at the scan, your ticker is going up so quickly!

I got headhunted for a job yesterday working for some famous bloke, they want me to go for interview next week, but to be honest I just don't feel up to it.... I cried for most of the day when I got off the phone from them as I felt really anxious about working again, and broke down when M got home. He wants me not to think about going back until after xmas.... I guess I'm not as sorted as I thought I was.... I take one step forward then 5 back... did anyone else feel very anxious about everything after their mc, even normal things like going to the shops or getting on the tube, or talking to people, it's only happened this time for me.

Have a lovely day everyone.... will check back in for Nato's testing!

She said that "they made a bad decision and [she's] pregnant"... The split with her husband was because he decided he didn't want a baby with her. So, I don't believe it was an accident, honestly. She really wants to talk to me about it... but I don't know the gentle way to say that her situation makes me feel worse about my own circumstances, and I have bigger things to worry about! I don't want to sound mean... at all. But, its REALLY hard to hear that she's gotten what she wants and is now rethinking it. I'm suffering through this awful process to get to where she is... and she's concerned if she made the right decision? Its sort of important to figure that out prior to TTC, isn't it? I know it wasn't an accident... I'm sure that was the "bad decision"... Ya know?

Stimming is ovary stimulating medication injections. Its just the step of the process where I start to grow the follicles that will become the eggs that will become my embryos!

Very cool to have been headhunted... even if you aren't all that interested! Congrats on being wanted!

 

[MinnieMone]

Megg I don't think that's mean at all, it's understandable and if she is aware of your situation why the frick is she even bringing it up with you..... I don't undertand some people's lack of awareness of what others are going through and how difficult this is for you. If it were me I would text back and say something along the lines of 'lot on my plate at the mo', not sure if I'm up for baby talk'.... or 'can I get back to you when I'm in a less stressful place, need to concentrate on myself for a bit'.... Megg you are so lovely, be a bit selfish hun and think of you.... you need all your energy and focus for the stimming (thanks for explaining), there will be plenty of time when you have your BFP to help others. bless you.

 

[heart tree]

Sugar, I’m glad to hear you are feeling better. The due date is a very hard day. It sounds like you have a good man who will clean up his act for your baby too. So, you want to know about my dinner, eh? Well remember, I’m normally a healthy eater, but on Thanksgiving, I can’t be bothered. First I brined my turkey overnight in a salt and sugar water mix with maple syrup and bay leaves. It leaves the bird extremely moist. I roasted my big turkey and basted it with a butter and white wine sauce. This sauce ends up making the gravy taste delicious. I made mashed potatoes and sautéed julienned carrots in butter and dill. I made a bread stuffing with apples, onions, celery and lots of herbs like sage, rosemary, marjoram, etc. I also made dinner rolls from scratch. Someone else brought a salad and roasted brussel sprouts. My step-mother made a cranberry chutney and forgot to bring it. Luckily I had some cranberry sauce in a can that worked just fine. And for dessert we had a pumpkin cheesecake, apple pie and gingerbread cupcakes…all homemade. We had a lot of wine too! YUM!

Nato, well done from not testing! Your chart looks beautiful by the way and so do your husband’s numbers. I know exactly what you mean about class. I don’t miss my graduate program at all. It’s less like class and more like several years of intense therapy. I got so tired of constantly processing everything for several hours a day…for 3 years! I can’t imagine anyone not liking you. They are idiots.

Jenny it sounds like CD 1 to me too. How do you feel about her showing?

Jesus Megg, 3 needles? Good lord woman! I’m not envious. Oh and I agree with Mone, you should text back what she said. You can’t always be there for other people. It isn’t possible. Sometimes you need to take a step back and say, “hey, I care about you, but I’m dealing with my own stuff right now and don’t have a clear head on my shoulders for anyone else right now.” Make it about you and less about her and she’ll understand.

Mone, it sounds like you need some m ore time. I’m glad Martin is supporting you on that. You know, I’ve always found myself to be somewhat anxious in general but I certainly have felt it more since my losses. Especially the talking to people part. I hate going to parties where I will meet new people. For me, (after much processing!) I’ve realized I feel like all I have to talk about is ttc and my mcs. And I dread the question “do you have kids?” So I’d rather just stay home than have to face all of that. Anxiety can be it’s own thing, but it can also be a symptom of depression. Depression comes in a wide range, from feeling down in the dumps to feeling suicidal. It has many levels in between. I know I’ve been experiencing some depression since my mcs and my diagnosis. I’ve been working on it by talking to you all, exercising and trying to find small joys in life. It’s important to address it if you feel like that might be going on for you too.

Ok, are you all ready to laugh at me? Get this. Since we couldn’t do the deed yesterday, I asked Tim if he would put his liquid gold into a soft cup for me later that night. We do this from time to time as sometimes its just easier. Well he wakes me up at 4am with it. I get my pre-seed in and then I proceed to knock over the damn soft cup and all of the stuff spills out!!! Damn it! So then I take a needless syringe I have and suck it all up and put it back into the cup. I couldn’t get it all though. I know it takes only one sperm, but still! I was so mad. And then I couldn’t get back to sleep. And then I had to temp 2 hours later. So now my temp isn’t right either and I don’t know if I ov’d yesterday or will today. The worst part is that since Tim did it so late in the cup, I’m not sure he’ll be up for BD’ing today, nor do I think his sperm will be replenished enough. If I get pregnant on this cycle, it will be a freaking miracle. I have to just laugh at the comedy of errors at this point.

That and the fact that our kitchen sink decided to break yesterday and gush water from the pipes every time we used it. Not very good timing given we had more dirty dishes yesterday than any other time of the year! C’est la vie!

 

[heart tree]

Holy crap that was a long post. Sorry!

 

[jenny25]

thanks heart tree im sorry your having a hard time of it hun i know how you feel paul works crazy hours and dtd can be tricky he is out of the house 12 or more hours mon -fri then about 6 on a sat and sunday so when the peak day comes its hard cause he isnt up for it in the morning so its always evening time

i actually am happy that she has showed tbh cause my post cycle was crazy i tell you so its a new cycle new start so maybe be in time for christmas bfp xxx

 

[heart tree]

That's how I always feel Jenny after each of my losses. AF is a welcome sight and symbolizes a new start. I'm glad you are feeling ok about her showing up. I really hope you get your sticky Christmas bfp.

 

[jenny25]

i found it a bit harder this time cause i know i should be 20 weeks pregnant but i know good things come to those who wait why we have to wait i dont know maybe their is a plan for us who knows how this crazy world works i dont even know how my crazy body works half the time lol well its now turned into old stuff so i dont think today is cd1 maybe might class it as spotting i will see how the day goes ive tried everthing apart from dtd to bring her on i swear men invented pms and stuff xx

 

[sugarlove]

My god Hearty, you have me drooling at your feast! You sound like such a good cook. Wish I could have sampled some of that lot

Your story about the 'liquid gold' made me laugh what us girls do to get preggers eh! Don't forget the spermies can survive 3 to 7 days up there, so if you BD'd the day before you prob had loads of the little blighters waiting for your egg. I have my fingers crossed for you!

Mone, congrats on being head hunted what job is it you do? I obviously don't know your financial situation, but you should not feel under pressure to go back to work until you feel 100% ready. You've been through such a horrendous time this yr, and it's bound to make you feel anxious about going back. Try and enjoy Xmas as best you can, then see how you feel in the New Year.

Megg, after reading a few fertility books, I feel that I know a lot more about IVF. The whole process is so amazing! I agree with the other girlies, you really need to focus on just you at the moment. Your friend should just be counting her blessings!

Jenny.

Well, I'm on cd 19 and haven't even got a high yet on the CBFM. I think my body has officially given up ov It's crap knowing you're not even in with a chance! I can't wait to get the mess that is my body sorted!
I've been googling and found something interesting about one of the side affects of the meds that I'm on. I take 20mg citalopram antidepressant to treat panic attacks, and it says that a side affect could be abnormal liver function. I hope to god this is the cause of the weird test. It would be a load off my mind!

Did anyone happen to see the Jeremy Kyle episode about fertility the other day? I watched it on iplayer. Interesting!
x

 

[jenny25]

yeah i watched the show hun i found it very interesting hunxx

 

[vickyd]

Hey ladies...

So i read back on all your posts, im sorry if i forget anyone but bear with me im only just starting to bounce back from a horrific week!

Megg, woohoo for starting the stimming!! If we lived in the same city i could give you all the needles you need for free as i have an endless supply in the lab!

Amy both your places are sooo lush! The new place is awesome, so much space!!! Im so envious seeing that i live smack downtown Athens in a building built circa 1950 in quite a small flat boo! By the way im sooo curious as to how much it cost....If i were to buy my cave of a flat it would set me back 300.000 euro...

Hearty glad that the meal went well without any baby talk! Your meal sounds yummyy!! I dont really care for turkey as i find it very dry but i guess i need to try your turkey before i condemn this meat! Im pretty sure the fact that you BD a day before and managed to get some spermies in on ovulation day will give you a good chance this month...

Mone, i agree with Hearty that you need more time. I also found that after my losses simple things like going to the supermarket filled me with anxiety. I was also scared at work that id break down with the slightest cause. This wasnt actually far from the truth as i found that i got stressed much easier than i usually do and did end up quite alot in the loo bawling my eyes out...

As for me, im really tired...i havent slept more than 3 hours since our friend died....I really hope that tonight i sleep well and dont have any bad dreams. Alex has impressed me this week. he makes sure to spend at least 4 hours a day at our friend's wife and specifically with her sons. Alex as ive probably told you guys was never really baby crazy and to be honest ive never seen him take much interest in our friends kids in general. He really surprised me.

 

[heart tree]

Sugar, I just read a woman say on another thread that she has abnormal liver blood results and her doctor thinks its from meds she is taking. She didn't say which meds, but you could be onto something.

As for Ov, stress can definitely delay it. I'm living proof from my last cycle. I Ov'd on CD 32. A record for me. I had just gotten my diagnosis a few weeks before and was super stressed. I really think that effected my hormones. I'm so sorry. I know how frustrating it is not to Ov on time. I really get that.

Jenny, if today isn't CD1, I bet tomorrow will be. Sometimes I start off AF with some brown spotting before actual red flow. Remember that after a loss your body is trying to get back to normal. Your hormones are all over the place. Your first period can be very weird. If you haven't already come across this on your own, I've found this website to be helpful: https://www.pregnancyloss.info/first_period.htm

Honestly, I think you're body is getting back to normal as we speak. A few more days will be telling.

 

[heart tree]

Vicky, I hope you can get some sleep tonight. You need it. That is amazing about Alex. I've found that when tragedy like this hits, we end up seeing the best and worst in people. Clearly, it is bringing out the best in Alex. What a nice realization for you that is. What a good man he is.

 

[sugarlove]

Thanks Hearty. You can't remember which post it was can you?
x

 

[yogi77]

Hi Ladies,

Hearty glad your dinner went well with no constant babble of pregnancy, so glad you wrote that email! Also had to laugh at your story from this morning but I'm sure you've got a good supply in there already!!

Allie sorry about your parents! Very exciting about your cousin though!

Nato so good to hear from you, my future bump buddy. CD 10 and you haven't tested yet?!?!? Way to go you! Can't wait to hear your result from this afternoons test. Your chart looks very perfect, FX for you!

Sugar, glad you're feeling better today

Megg sorry your shot sucked this morning, I was cringing while reading you describing the process. Exciting times for you though!!

Mone that is cool about being headhunted, what is it you do? You should definitely take all the time you need though, you will know when the time is right for you.

Vicky hope you get some sleep soon

Hello and big hugs to everyone else!

I'm frustrated with my temp today because I woke up very early this morning when DH left for work and couldn't fall back asleep so my temp is way off and today was the day I was hoping for a spike to confirm O. Soooo frustrating, now I have no idea what to do with my chart for today's entry. I haven't been doing any OPK's this month so I've just been going off CM. I also haven't even felt any Ov pains, which leads me to believe that it was all in my head the other months that I was doing OPK's.

 

[heart tree]

It was in the TTC#1 for 35+ ladies. It was by a woman called Tititimes2 and she just said:

"Haven't been feeling 100% for the last 3 weeks so saw my regular internist and he found my liver enzymes elevated. A lot of things (including medications and a virus) can cause that though."

That's all she said though. It made me think of you. I'm sure she would be ok if you PM'd her.

 

[heart tree]

Yogi, you and I can be annoyed with our husband's and our charts together! Neither you or I know if we've Ov'd or not! Damn it!!!

BTW, I'm impressed with your restraint from doing OPK's. I'm not a POAS addict with HPTs, but I sure am with OPKs!

 

[yogi77]

Yogi, you and I can be annoyed with our husband's and our charts together! Neither you or I know if we've Ov'd or not! Damn it!!!

BTW, I'm impressed with your restraint from doing OPK's. I'm not a POAS addict with HPTs, but I sure am with OPKs!

I didn't have any OPK's left and couldn't be bothered this month to get more!! I figured we'd be everyday for the week when I normally Ov anyways so what was the point. Now I don't know what's going on!!!

I'm the complete opposite as you, once I get a positive OPK that's it, I stop peeing on them. HPT's on the other hand, I'm surprised I'm not peeing on one right now I'm so obsessed with them.

 

[heart tree]

Ha ha! Don't pee on an HPT yet!!!!

I guess since I usually OV so late, AND I've gotten false positive OPKs (with the smiley face no less), that's why I'm so obsessed with confirming my LH surge. That, plus I like seeing dark lines.

I'm so envious of you BD'ing every day during your fertile time. Sigh, that's one of the reasons I wish Tim and I were younger. Obviously I want younger eggs, but he just doesn't have it in him like he did in his 30's. I have one more trick up my sleeve today. A new piece of sexy lingerie. He better like it damn it!

Can you get one more session in today too?