Disco Derail! - TTCAL/PAL Discussion and Support!

[LucyJ]

everyone

OMG Megg thats sounds so painfull hope it eases soon and your ok. I'm pleased your feeling a bit more positive and I'm keeping everything crossed for you that all eggs get fertilized. Massive to you. Oh and I love your crib with hearty's balnket its just going to be beautiful and ready for your forever baby as I honestly believe it will happen for you.

Yogi wow love those lines and the way you told you hubby so cute so happy for you and dont feel you cant share good news we're all here for each other no matter the good and the bad.

Hearty that must be so hard with your boss I dont how you are coping I think I'd get up and walk away from her. What kind of relationship do you have with her, could you tell her how your feeling?

Amy sweetie been thinking of you please lie about your dates or the cramping or both to get your scan dont feel bad about doing it you shouldnt have to pay for a scan you need so do whatever it takes to get it.

 

[LucyJ]

Hey girls need some advice just been sent this a private message on facebook

Spoiler

Hi all
I have the pleasure of organising Helen's baby shower so am contacting you all now to book a date in your diary!
The initial idea is to have her baby shower on a Sunday afternoon in late February early March.
We are able to have to the cafe above the book shop on a Sunday and have an afternoon tea with plenty of cakes! There is also room for children as I know Helen would want Lily and Darcy there.
The initial idea is that we could all contribute to making a quilt for the baby, we would each have a square of material and then design a pattern. There is a fab material shop in Exmouth so I can pick up some bits and bobs and people can contribute the cost.
I would like this all to be a surprise so please don't let Helen know anything!
Initially I would like to know if you can make it and what dates you can do out of the following: Sun 13th, 20th February or
Sunday 6th, 13th March.
Thanks all look forward to hearing from you.

put it under the spoiler as its long what do I do. I would love to be there for my friend but dont know if I can cope with it all dont really no anyone else that well who will be going and all though my pregnant friend knows about my miscarriages no one else will know. Not only will there be a pregnant woman there but other people's babies. I've not seen her for a while we got back in touch recently and keep meaning to meet up but neither of us have been free I was quite shocked to find out she was pregnant as she was someone who always said she didnt want children told her husband that there would be no kids she was happy to have animals but not children and dont get me wrong I am happy for her but it was a shock especially as I have always wanted to have children and when I met steve always thought we would have children together never thought we would of been going through what we have. I feel so torn like I'm being selfish and should just suck it up and go.

 

[MinnieMone]

Megg - I'm so glad that you have had a good rest and are feeling more positive, i'm really hoping that tomorrow brings you the news you want. bless your OH for putting up the crib.... don't feel bad about being snappy I can't imagine the cocktail of hormones you must be fighting against.

Amy - I would definitely tell a little white lie and exaggerate especially the cramps so that you get a US. Dont' feel bad about that, you are entitled to know what's going on.
I really hope all is ok.

Hearty - glad you had some champers and let your hair down. I read the bit about your boss and thought that it's a tricky one. On the one hand I'm sure she is not intentionally trying to be insensitive (I know as soon as I get my BFP I start to hold/stroke my tummy, especially when getting on a crowded tube or if someone is standing close to me), I think in my case it's involuntary! But I can also see how it would upset you - it would me too. I guess for us our losses are always foremost in our minds, whereas for someone who is pregnant their baby is for them and she probably just forgets that it is so hard for you. Just trying to be devils advocate i guess, it's just one of the other shit things on top of everything else we are going through that we have to deal with. I don't know how you would go about talking to her about it (are you close?)... if yes, then maybe mention it, but if not you might end up feeling even more uncomfortable (as would she)... shit hearty, i'm sorry.

Sparkly - is your birthday 4th April? Mine is too, 4/4/ and I was born at 4.49... 4 is obviously my lucky number.... Yay for 4 Megg.

Have a good day everyone, and look forward to update later Megg

 

[MinnieMone]

Ah Lucy, what was your initial reaction - dread? that will be fun? No f&cking way!

You are still grieving hun and healing.... do what is right for you and not what you think you should do.

You could still contribute to the quilt, but if it will be too hard and will make you unhappy don't go.

On the other side (I always like a bit of ying and yang), I know that I have been protecting myself maybe a bit too much from the outside world and situations which might make me feel pain, and I wish that I could push myself just that little bit more to face my fears (eg I'm not spending Christmas with Mart because his neice has just given birth and I can't face it).... so I'm losing out by not facing my fear, which if I did it might not actually be as bad as I'm building it up in my mind.

When do you have to say yes/no? Could you leave it a bit to think it through properly, or just see how you feel nearer the time. Bet you will be pregnant again by then lovely!

 

[pregoinnorge]

OMG hearty, i just read your post about your boss. How annoying! Nothing like having it shoved in your face! I'm sure she's not doing intentionally but still. I'm sorry honey. It's like we can never get away from this shit!

I totally understand if you don't want to be involved in the baby shower, Lucy. It's hard when you want to be there for your friends, but you have to take care of your feelings too. Any good friend would understand. My friend had a surprise shower thrown for her last night and I of course didn't go. All she does is complain about being pregnant, even though she knows about what I went through before.
You could always send a gift though? And just explain it to her. On the other hand, it's not for a few months so you could just take some time to think about it? It's so unfair. I wish I could give you a hug.

 

[LucyJ]

My initial reaction was somewhere between oh shit and panic! I'm fine being round my friends little ones but I can talk to her about what I've been through seeing pregnant women makes me feel sad although I've normally got steve to lean on so its not as bad. I guess its the thought of being trapped with no way out and without steve to keep me safe does that sound pathetic?

I want to be there for her but I do worry about my emotions as I dont always feel like I have total control of them.

I think I'm going to just ignore it for a bit and think about it not make any rush decisions I've got time do you think that is alright to do?

 

[LucyJ]

Thanks amy and mone,

yeah I think my friend would understand just whether the girl organising it would and as its a surprise I wouldnt want to ruin anything. God its all so difficult.

Thanks Amy a hug would be great sending one back to you. How are you feeling?

 

[Dazed]

Lucy, I'm going through the same thing with my cousin. Her babyshower is going to be around the same time period, but I don't know how to feel. I did endure one since my mc, but it was met with some anxiety. The choice is yours whether you go or not. I think if it is an issue for you, just send a gift and call it a day.

 

[sugarlove]

Hi Lucy, god baby showers are crap, I fecking hate them!

I would feel under no obligation to go if you don't feel up to it. I can't think of anything worse than to be surrounded by pg people and babies. I wish they had never been invented! I'm sure if you were to send a nice card or gift or something politely explaining why you don't feel up to going, she will totally understand. Give it some more time though, maybe you will feel differently nearer the time.

AFM I've got my 7dpo progesterone levels back. They were 8.1 Think they were something like 12.6 6dpo last month, so it's even worse now. I undoubtedly have a progesterone problem and LP defect. The thing I don't get though, is that I think I'm still ov, as confirmed by temp shift, CBFM, EWCF and OPK.
Maybe I'll order the progesterone cream to see if that makes a difference and I'm really going to put pressure on FS for suppositries next week whilst I'm waiting for the lap appt to come through.

Hi to everyone else
x

 

[LucyJ]

Thanks sugar. I am so sorry surely the FS will put you on something to help would clomid or femara help the low progesterone. I hope you get some answers from the FS and they do all the things you want.

 

[Megg33k]

Okay... About the baby showers... Seriously, DON'T GO! If you think you can't go, don't be "strong" and do it anyway. You are NOT required to show up. You could be busy on every single one of those days. RE: Lucy... You could always chip in for the fabric and send a gift or something. If she knows about your losses, I'm sure she'll understand that you just cannot put yourself through that! I don't think we should EVER be forced to do things that hurt our hearts more than life has already hurt us!

Sugar - If I can be honest, the cream probably isn't strong enough to help a whole lot. It might be just barely enough, but the suppositories are the way to go. If you can't get them, obviously the cream is better than nothing! I agree with Lucy that you'd be better off getting something to strengthen your O though. Femara would be choice #1, but Clomid is a good 2nd option.

Loving the 4's, Mone! Fantastic!


Well, I got my call... Of the 4 eggs retrieved yesterday, 3 were mature, and ALL 3 FERTILIZED!!!

Tentatively scheduled for Day 3 transfer at 1pm on Friday... I'll know around 10am on Friday if we're waiting until Day 5 instead!

 

[grandbleu]

CONGRATULATIONS MEGG - 3 beautiful FERTILIZED eggs for you!!! Completely awesome

Lucy - Obviously it's up to you but I know I couldn't handle it...not just that it's a baby shower but ALL the talk will be about BABIES...nope I just wouldn't be able to take it...you may be stronger...I agree with the others about making a square and definitely contributing to the blanket/quilt with your own personal flare. Good luck with your decision.

 

[pregoinnorge]

OMG MEGG! SO FREAKING HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!! I am so excited for the next step. Hopefully you're not still in pain!

 

[LucyJ]

Woo hoo megg to your 3 fertilized eggs I am so exicted for you and that news has made me smile and I havnt smiled all day been stressing about the baby shower issue and have a stinking cold (I think my niece is the culprit both my parents have it as well talk about share it around ).

Just so you know I'm doing a little happy dance for you

 

[LucyJ]

Thanks for the advice grandbleu and megg,

I think I felt like I was being a bit selfish about even thinking about not going so I feel reassured that I'm not on my own. I dont know whether I'm strong enough to deal with it and that worries my iykwim dont want to get there and not be able to cope. I'm going to think about if for a while then decide most likely I'll just say I'm unavliable on the dates but happy to contribute to the quilt and send a card, the lady organising it doesnt know about my mc's not sure whether to mention it or not I probably wont then can send my friend a card explaining maybe meet her for a cuppa and a chat so its just us that I think I could cope with just about.

 

[Megg33k]

Thank you!!! I couldn't be happier if I tried! My TRIPLETS are growing just up the road and waiting to go "home"... I can't wait to have them back! So much more positive now!

Glad I could make you smile, Lucy! You deserve to smile!

 

[hoping:)]

Woohoo Megg

Lucy- I have the same type of situation going on. My good friend is due in Feb and her shower is sometime next month. We were both pregnant at the same time (my twin pregnancy) and her due date is 1 week after what mine should have been. It is so hard for me to even see her with her baby bump but I'm pretty sure I will force myself to go. She is pretty much in this alone and I want to be there for her. Good luck with your decision

 

[vickyd]

Great News Meggles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will now proceed to have triplets as "punishment" for doubting your eggs!!!

 

[Megg33k]

Best punishment ever, Vicky! I'm that desperate these days!!! lol

 

[Razcox]

Woooo Hooooo great news Meg!! Its mad to think about your little ones cooking away just a few miles down the road! x