Dithering

[diverdi]

As most of you know I had medical management of a MMC on 1st Jan. At first I was desperate to TTC and did try in the limited time I had before DH left for overseas.
FRER was negative last week, as I was in bits for the day, and now I think AF is showing her ugly face.
As I used to have a 5 week cycle this would time things nicely for me going to see DH in 2 weeks.
But now I'm flitting between so many different thoughts, one minute I desperately want to be pregnant again, then I have doubts, the thought of not trying makes me feel miserable, but the thought of trying worries me too.
I think if we'd been together the last few weeks we would have kept NTNP without even thinking about it but now I've had space to let doubts creep in. DH definitely wants more children, and is happy to go whiever way I want.
With this last pregnancy I was going to give in my notice at work and leave in the summer and live in Sri Lanka with my husband (he's a diving instructor). Now I'm also trying to decide whether to give my notice in at work and go, which we both want but is also scary too!
I wish I could just feel the same way for more then 10 minutes at a time!
Anybody else out there find they can't make their minds up?

 

[Lucia]

I can relate in a way, but because I have no children I know that I cannot and will not stop. For me it's more a thing of worry - I am scared to experience another loss but I know I have to keep trying.

Maybe take some time to really relax and think about what you want. You have to follow your heart.

 

[Eternal]

i think you need to go with your heart, sometimes the scariest choices turn out to be the best decisions. i hope you deceide whats best for you and your family.