Do they expect me to watch their kids? Or do i not give mine enough freedom

[DCS]

This has been bugging me for quite a while now. We walk home with a group of ds friends. All 4, 5, 6 year olds. With their parents. The kids always walk ahead of thrle grown ups, mostly running. While there is only one main road to cross, its really really busy around school run times as there is a few schools on the way home. We live the furthest away. I usually walk with the kids, while the other parents are chatting and walking behind. The kids rarely check before they walk past the car parks, i find myself asking them to stop and wait. Im not sure if the mums think i will keep an eye on their kids so walk behind us, or if i just dont give ds enough freedom to run far ahead, and around corners. There has been a few incidents with kids being apoached by vans on the way home in the last couple years. I feel like, days like today, when i had 2 year old dd with me, who was tired and poorly, i cant just go on ahead and get home like i need to. Last week one of the younger ones was halfway 3/4 of the street away from parent and steped in between two parked cars. Parent hadnt noticed and i had to go after the child.
So is it just me or are they being a bit rude in expecting me to watch their kids while the stroll along while chatting, and seem to not be paying any attention to their kids.

 

[DeuceMom]

deleted

 

[jd83]

I agree with pp. There are a lot of parents who give their young kids way more freedom than I ever would. Good grief, my own sister and brother give their young kids way more freedom than I ever would. I think if you are there, it's just going to be up to you and your own conscience if you step in to supervise them to keep them safe. In the same situation, I would feel responsible to look out for them. I'd feel too guilty if something happened to one of them and I was right there and could have stopped it. Obviously, it's the parent's responsibility, and THEY are the ones who should feel guilty for not being more diligent with their child's safety, but it wouldn't stop me from feeling guilty anyway.

 

[DJJ]

I do let my 4 year running ahead to the next lamp post/bin/parked car etc and quite often there are others kids with him but if it's a road I will say to the other child "wait there until mummy catches up" or something. That way we can walk on at our pace without having to "watch" other people's children too.

 

[DCS]

I do let my 4 year running ahead to the next lamp post/bin/parked car etc and quite often there are others kids with him but if it's a road I will say to the other child "wait there until mummy catches up" or something. That way we can walk on at our pace without having to "watch" other people's children too.

This i have no problem with. Kids ask to play the run and stop game most days. They run and have to freeze statue still when i say stop. Or i say run to the blue car , they run and stop at the blue car.
Yesterday , down the main road, kids where way ahead of the parent. I asked them to stop and wait for their parent but they just ran off. We get lots of cars parked on the double yellows, doing 3 point turns, and not driving slowly. Parent was way back chatting. About a 2 minute fast walk away. It would just be nice if i coyld get home early when i need to. Instead of a 15 minute walk taking clise to 45 minutes because parents are chatting and kids are way further ahead. I just dont feel like i can say, right we have to shoot off now. Bye.
Also doesnt help that one of the smaller kids keeps hitting me, and doesnt listen when i ask them to stop, or goes on to hit ds or shove dd.
Obviously, i will carry on watching the kids. Like pp said if anything happened i would feel awfull. I generally like these kids and the parents but since the parents speak on the phone/ see each other after school frequently, maybe they could finish up their conversation later.

 

[jd83]

I agree there's a big difference at their ages in letting them run ahead just a bit, and not even really paying attention to how far ahead they are and they get more than several minutes away from where you could reach them if something happened. Big difference. It's the lack of understanding they have of immediate dangers, like walking in between parked car on the side of the road to where an oncoming car wouldn't see them until its too late. Kids that age do NOT see the danger in that. I've had to harp on my own kids about that repeatedly, and still sometimes have to keep reminding them not to do that when we are crossing roads. They are short enough an oncoming car would never see them. A child in our neighborhood was hit just last year after walking out from between 2 parked cars, and the oncoming car didn't have time to stop after not seeing the child coming.

 

[Natasha2605]

TBH if you ask them to stop and wait for your folks and they choose not to listen then that's not your problem.

I imagine the parents obviously have no issues with them running ahead and presume they think they act safely which you know is untrue.

Personally I'd carry on ahead with my own children and let them amble up the road at their own pace. Their children, their responsibility.

 

[SarahBear]

This has been bugging me for quite a while now. We walk home with a group of ds friends. All 4, 5, 6 year olds. With their parents. The kids always walk ahead of thrle grown ups, mostly running. While there is only one main road to cross, its really really busy around school run times as there is a few schools on the way home. We live the furthest away. I usually walk with the kids, while the other parents are chatting and walking behind. The kids rarely check before they walk past the car parks, i find myself asking them to stop and wait. Im not sure if the mums think i will keep an eye on their kids so walk behind us, or if i just dont give ds enough freedom to run far ahead, and around corners. There has been a few incidents with kids being apoached by vans on the way home in the last couple years. I feel like, days like today, when i had 2 year old dd with me, who was tired and poorly, i cant just go on ahead and get home like i need to. Last week one of the younger ones was halfway 3/4 of the street away from parent and steped in between two parked cars. Parent hadnt noticed and i had to go after the child.
So is it just me or are they being a bit rude in expecting me to watch their kids while the stroll along while chatting, and seem to not be paying any attention to their kids.

I would not be comfortable with this if I were in your shoes. Perhaps it's time to change your routine so as to not be stuck in this situation.

 

[cat_reversing]

You carry on doing what you think is right, ie not allowing the kids off too far on their own - your kid, your rules! Of course, try to help the other kids to be aware of their surroundings but they're not your responsibility at the end of the day and you can only do so much. If the parents weren't there at all, well that's different and the kids would have to listen and do as you say.
If parents are dawdling and you want to go faster, just say you have to go, don't worry about it, we've all got stuff to do. If they get funny about it, that's their problem.

 

[Zephram]

The other parents obviously think you don't mind. If I were you I would just say to them that you're in a rush today and you're going to go on ahead. I would also say to the other kids within their parents hearing that you're in a hurry today and that they need to wait for their parents.

I think half the reason this is happening is because you're letting it happen. I really can't see that anyone would get miffed about you saying you're going ahead and the other kids need to wait. It's exactly what I would do.

 

[minties]

This would grind my gears. After my daughter was hit by a reversing car, I understand even more how dangerous walking can be. I don't put my kids in a plastic bubble, but I also would never let them run ahead and just expect other parents to watch them. Children can't really judge the speed of vehicles until they are 8 - are these people letting 4-5-6 year olds actually cross roads themselves?!

When we walk Thomas home from school, we all hold hands (Emma is her carrier) and stand at every intersection checking both ways several times. We also walk side by side at most times, if there are no driveways then I let the kids play about or sniff flowers etc.

 

[DCS]

This would grind my gears. After my daughter was hit by a reversing car, I understand even more how dangerous walking can be. I don't put my kids in a plastic bubble, but I also would never let them run ahead and just expect other parents to watch them. Children can't really judge the speed of vehicles until they are 8 - are these people letting 4-5-6 year olds actually cross roads themselves?!

When we walk Thomas home from school, we all hold hands (Emma is her carrier) and stand at every intersection checking both ways several times. We also walk side by side at most times, if there are no driveways then I let the kids play about or sniff flowers etc.

They dont let them cross. Though thats probably because i make them wait for their grown ups. Dd has a play group before school today so will be exhausted. Im either going to take the car halfway to school ( if we are running later back from the group) or if we are on time, say we need to go because i dont want to deal with a grumpy tired dd who wants to go home, my poorly 6 year old, and 4 other kids.
Thanks all, shall see how it goes.

 

[6lilpigs]

Good idea, make it a regular thing for a while, maybe up until the summer holidays so the other parents can get used to watching their own kids again